In the summer’s sweltering heat, Thomas Yardlong didn’t expect to spend countless days working from his condo with a broken air conditioner. It was tough enough having to do without the endless free snacks and espresso machines he was used to at the office before the pandemic.
His aircon was out, and repair companies wouldn’t be available to fix it for another week. In other words, the worst nightmare imaginable.
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I was afraid to post this comic strip, but I knew it had to be said. America is a dangerous and downright scary place for Black people. Even though no area you live in is perfect, there are some countries and even cities where you can feel more like yourself.
I found Osaka, Japan, to be one of those places for me. If you travel enough, you’ll find yours. Is it acceptable, however, for me to talk about racism in a cute family comic strip intended to make you laugh?
I lived in Japan for two years teaching English, but now I live in the U.S. and visit Japan every year. Making a point to soak up the peace and experience the culture. Don’t get me wrong, there are aspects I love about my home country.
Let’s be real, though, it’s tough on black folks in the states. The fear of racism and police brutality makes everyday life feel scary when you’re doing just about anything.
I think it’s important to address racism and perception in comic form and get people thinking. Even if the humor just makes you uncomfortable. As a Black man, my work wouldn’t feel authentic without it. The character, J, in this strip, is communicating how I feel while living in or visiting Japan as a Black man.
Free to be me.
Even though it’s told from a child’s point of view in this strip, the sentiment comes from my raw emotions and frustrations. But I was nervous about posting it and almost didn’t. You want to know why?
I was concerned about hurting white people’s feelings.
The comics and articles I create are not made to upset anyone but give my perspective, as a Black man, on the world and how I see things. In the past, after posting a series of lighthearted comics and then suddenly putting a strip out stating America isn’t a perfect union, mainly white people get upset.
It’s like they can’t handle the truth. Could it be certain white folks think I don’t have a right to express my frustrations and concerns over how people of color are treated in America? Like I can’t talk about my people and our struggles through an art form I love. Maybe, I should just stick to the silly jokes.
I know, free speech works both ways. If I can say what I feel in my work, people should have the freedom to comment on it. Yes, but when you do, please pay attention to your privilege.
Are you trying to tell me I’m wrong for how I feel? If you think my comics are now “complete garbage” from one comic strip and you can’t read them anymore. Why? Are there deeply held beliefs that need changing, lurking deep inside you? When you read through my archives, plenty of previous Fried Chicken and Sushi comics tackled racism and prejudice concerning people who are different.
White people get to choose what they believe about racism even though they haven’t experienced it directly. Being a part of the majority, they get to say ridiculous things in the comments of my comics. Like, “This is racist.” or an insult dressed up as a compliment, “I don’t see color” (please see my color, I happen to love it) or “Racism doesn’t exist in America anymore.” Does anyone really believe that?
Black people have to live with and take the blows associated with racism daily. Just because you aren’t seeing racist acts in your neighborhood or workplace, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
I like showing that we all have other choices of places to live in the world. The truth is, it ain’t easy traveling abroad either. Finding work that pays enough to live on, and securing a way to stay there for many years — like getting your visa sponsored by an employer or becoming a permanent resident. But it is possible if you want it bad enough.
Notably, in Asia. You will deal with prejudice and ignorance about your race, especially if you’re Black. Still, the lack of fear and hate over your skin color brought on by systemic racism makes up for it.
The freedom that comes from living in a country like Japan — not built on the backs of free labor from African slaves — feels exhilarating. People see you as a person, a very different person than them for sure, but not someone to fear as a threat to their livelihood.
I know all of this and feel strongly about the benefits of living in Asia. I’m choosing, however, to work in the U.S. right now. I find it easier to get work that pays well, and I like engaging with a diverse group of people. When I need a break, the money I put away for travel helps me escape to Japan, the Philippines, or Hong Kong to get a different experience.
Where I can be just a foreigner.
Returning to my home country from trips abroad can be a tough re-entry. I get hit with the reality that most American citizens still do not fully see or understand. You hear the words “Black Lives Matter” but Black people are still treated poorly. This “BLM” phrase doesn’t mean all other lives have it easy. It means Black lives, particularly in America, need to matter now more than ever. Our house is the one on fire in the neighborhood. It’s the one that needs the most attention right now. Let the fire department put out the flames. Should they spray all the other homes on the street with water, just to be fair?
I think things are getting better. The above FC&S comic received mostly supportive comments and started conversations on GoComics around the benefits of travel and having an open mind.
It was a risk I was glad I took. Please become comfortable listening to what Black people are saying about their experiences, hopes, and challenges when expressed through their writing and creative work.
Give us a chance to matter.
Facing this pandemic while working through the anger, fear, and pain associated with the murders of black people in America, as a black male myself, is exhausting. There are times I want to be alone to process it all, and times I want to dive deeper into my work to escape.
There’s so much to do. Work responsibilities aren’t stopping, and focus must be given to them, whether we want to or not. I also know there’s so much that could be done to help the country right now.
Speaking out against systemic racism and police brutality through writing and art. Leaving the house, mask on, to protest with the masses. I want to be everywhere all the time.
It’s overwhelming. Sometimes, I can’t even remember who I am anymore.
If you’re feeling like me, I think it’s an excellent time to let some expectations go and to simplify your days. You cannot accomplish what you could back before the world drove off a cliff.
1 : a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior.
- Her habit of taking a morning walk
Will you wake up early to write for an hour? Make that your one habit of conquering in the mornings to ignite your fire. Perhaps, you enjoy going for a run because exercise helps to clear your mind. Schedule the time when you will get up and put everything in place to make sure you do it.
Write your morning plan the night before and leave it out where you can see it when you wake up. Take out your running gear so you can put it on right away and take off.
Picking one habit that you know you can complete in the morning will give you the confidence to face these challenges. The challenges we’re all emotionally wading through each day. Give yourself as much space as you can each day to just be with it all.
An excerpt from the book by Nicolas Cole and Dr. Matthew Jones, “Slow Down, Wake Up,” states:
“You’re not supposed to function every single second of every single day at 100%. Anyone who tells you otherwise, including yourself, needs greater self-compassion.”
If your one morning habit was all you could bring yourself to complete today, let that be okay.
Pick one thing to accomplish professionally and personally each day, then celebrate it.
For the days when you’re feeling down, let completing that one habit fill you with pride. It shows you can accomplish something important to you. You might find that it gives you the energy to work on another one of your things.
The point is to keep your expectations low right now in these difficult times. Do only what you can but plan to do at least one crucial daily habit to move your life or career forward.
One thing a day, can become a habit, help you process heavy emotions, and lead to more professional wins in the future.
Here’s what you can do
I’m overwhelmed with emotions. In the middle of this pandemic, dealing with the killing of African-Americans like George Floyd and the protests surrounding it have me feeling exhausted. Hopeless.
Will the killing of my people ever end? It’s hard to admit that I don’t think so. Every year around this time, summer, we have black people getting killed and it’s gone on for years. Far before social media or even the local news covered any of this. I feel like the killing of black people is just a part of American life and always will be. I have to find ways to handle my anger.
Tanuki may be a raccoon but I think he’s onto something. Keeping your anger and frustration locked up inside could damage you more in the long run than letting it out now. Of course, I can’t endorse breaking plates — or breaking anything for that matter — but talking with friends and family about how you’re feeling right now is an excellent start.
Exercise is a beautiful way to lift the world off your shoulders. I highly recommend running or walking. If you can join protests and feel safe to do so, go out and walk with others to support your cause.
If protesting is not for you, donate to organizations online, make signs for friends who are going out to march, or even call and check up on your loved ones. They might need to vent or benefit from someone showing care for their situation.
It’s okay to be angry, afraid, and frustrated at this time. Find positive ways to release your stress and help others deal with theirs.
We’re all in this together
Feeling isolated and alone? Like there’s no one to share your time and mutual hobbies with?
My friend, do I have a solution for you.
Go for a run. Everybody’s doing it.
Literally, everybody on planet earth! Gone are the days of quiet, peaceful jogs listening to the birds and enjoying the solitude. Now, it’s all about getting in good with every group of desperate humans in need of exercise.
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Imagine being a middle school student during this pandemic. You can’t spend time with your friends in person or develop much of a bond with your teachers at school. It would be tough to stay away from all the screens and devices sitting right next to you and focus on schoolwork.
I would suck at it. With ADHD and an overactive imagination, my mind would be in another world, drawing fantasy comics, or sucked into video games to escape reality. Getting work done would be the last thing on my mind.
I admire the young people today and how they are navigating quarantine life. Even if they’re not getting anything productive done. They’re getting up in the morning and giving it their best each day. That’s a victory. For some kids, your best is just talking to friends over Zoom or reading a favorite book for the eleventh time.
Doing the things that bring you comfort and joy is vital in times like these.
Parents are going to push and pull kids to do their work to stay ahead, but some might let it all go and give total freedom. Let’s relax and give each family a choice to deal with this COVID-19 pandemic however they can.
We need to deal with this situation in our own ways. When it’s time to open the gates once again, all of us will be catching up on our new reality.
A reality we cannot accurately predict at this moment. Relax and take it one day at a time.
That is the questions. Here’s the answer.
Illustration by Khalid Birdsong
Waking up at the crack of dawn to draw and write is no easy task, but I’ve grown accustomed to it. Today, on the other hand, I couldn’t help but feel the pull of the bed calling me back.
This is normal in regular times but much more powerful recently. Is it smarter to push through and get work done during these stressful times or give your body the extra rest it needs?
I chose to stay up and fumbled around, getting my coffee made. Doing marketing tasks like scheduling future social media posts, and writing possible gags for new comic strips — nothing all that heavy. When I start this way, it usually leads to turning my engine on and getting deeper into a creative drive. Where I’m eventually motivated to make more focused work like drawing or writing articles.
Perhaps you’re like me. Sandwiched between your desire to rest more and the awareness of all you could achieve during this forced-flexible time at home due to quarantine.
The two opposing questions floating around in my head always — Why not use this time to get more done? On the other hand — Why should I force myself to do anything during such a major pandemic?
The world needs your art during this time. Your perspective, voice, and experiences can help others. It’s incredibly important for you to find a way to put your work out there.
Here’s what I think is going on and what I discovered we can do to move forward towards our artistic goals.
Reading articles about famous people in the past, like Isaac Newton, who discovered the theory of relativity during a quarantine. Or, was that Einstein? Didn’t Shakespeare write a famous play while sheltering at home? I bet someone wrote a brilliant piece of classical music while forced to hide away from a plague. Something like that. I think all the motivational articles are getting jumbled up in my head.
The point is, they make you feel like this time of quarantine is not for letting it all go and slowing down, but for working harder. For creating something brand new and absolutely fantastic.
You start feeling concerned about yourself and, yes, guilty. Why can’t I make something earth-changing during this time? There are more opportunities to focus on smaller projects. Isn’t this what people will expect of a creative person?
There’s only one truth to accept.
Creatives get overwhelmed, frightened, and exhausted by world events, just like “normal” humans. We’re not above or beyond it only because we can escape to other places in our minds.
There are times when we make stuff with ease and times when we need to just sit and stare out into space to process it all. With nothing but a clean slate of negative thoughts in our heads and swirling mixed emotions in our hearts.
I want to have the freedom to work when my creative energy is turned on, but I’m afraid that if I get out of a routine, I’ll just stop and not make anything anymore. My momentum will hit a wall and seep into the gutter.
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I recognize this is what’s going on, I change how much I expect to get done. If you’re feeling this same guilt and overwhelm, schedule time to work but limit it. Instead of an hour, work for thirty-minutes.
There’s nothing wrong with cutting back.
Taking life a day at a time is something I need to improve on. I’ve seen more than ever how good days can be full of powerful, productive energy, and others are a slow drag to even begin.
This past weekend I was completely out of it. I felt like strings were attached to my limbs, and someone was pulling down on them, making it hard for me to move. Heavy body and mind issues plus plenty of chores to take care of around the house, forced me to make an important decision.
I needed to “do” less and let some things go. I’m just too tired.
Feeling exhausted right now is ok. It’s more than ok. You should expect it and give yourself some time off.
The only way to have productive days right now is to give yourself “processing time” to recharge on those tired, emotionally exhausting days.
The struggle to produce content just happened to me today. This morning, in fact. What you’re reading is a result of gradually working my way to writing this article.
If you know that starting off not wanting to work but doing small things to help you transform into a “focused flow state productive mind,” is possible, you can have more confidence in the process.
“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
You should definitely create your writing, art, and music while in quarantine. Take a hybrid approach by dedicating yourself to both your mental health through regular periods of rest and your need to create with longer than typical stretches of scheduled work times. This way, you know you have the time to gradually get into the groove.
“Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.” ~Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
Even if it seems like you only completed a few tasks, celebrate them. I had to tell myself, “Good Job!” today for getting something done, even though I was totally not in the mood at first. We could always do more.
Make good friends with patience and invite understanding into the mix. I know you will keep the creative momentum going and succeed in artistically expressing yourself.
Even while trapped inside this box, we call quarantine.
Staying away from people to keep healthy felt odd at first
Like I didn’t care for human beings. It felt cruel.
Going for a walk was stressful. Always worried about getting too close to others as they passed. Making sure to give six-feet of space, so no one gets scared of possibly catching COVID-19.
When I would see someone walking towards me on the sidewalk, I’d hope they couldn’t see the look of irritation on my face as I realized it’s time to move over to the street to give them room to pass.
Now, I make sure to only walk on the street and keep the sidewalk clear so that others can pass with ease. So that I feel safe and less stressed about catching anything.
What it’s like on lockdown with kids.
Read MoreAll they needed was a little privacy.
Two giant pandas, Ying Ying and Le Le, at the Ocean Park Zoo in Hong Kong, finally got there act together and made sweet love on Apr. 6.
Without prying eyes of visitors — the zoo closed Jan. 26 due to coronavirus fears — they were able to do what adds up to a monumental feat. A little romp between the bamboo trees.
Read MoreHow the words of Viktor Frankl can help you find meaning.
Read MoreHow to focus and connect during your long walks.
Read MoreBe careful with wearing a mask out in public if you’re Asian. It might be a better idea not to wear one. The fear people may have could cause them to say or do something much worse than what we went through.
Illustrated by Khalid Birdsong on friedchickenandsushi.com
Reading this comic strip, you would think my daughter is confident and comfortable with exactly who she is at all times. Well, you'd be mistaken. Alana (the name I use for her in the comics) is a nine-year-old girl who epitomizes authenticity in every area but her hair.
Gliding into the living room, almost daily, holding her karaoke microphone. Wearing the pink and purple wig her grandparents gave her for Christmas, is nine-year-old Alana. My half Japanese, half African-American daughter.
On the one hand, I know she likes wearing the wig because it's straight and she thinks it looks better than her beautiful curly hair. On the other hand, I feel like she should take the wig off and feel good singing with her natural look.
Should I force her to take the wig off and be herself?
Of course, not. I think I should relax and let Alana pretend to be someone else for a little while. It's the only way, at this age, she will experience her dream of having long straight hair. Besides, It's fun.
The reality can be challenging to accept at times, though.
She'd rather have a straight look than her naturally curly mixed-ish hair.
I understand that most people are not in love with their hair and wish it could be different, but Alana really gets upset with what she's got. And I think I know why.
Alana is the only girl on both sides of our families with mixed hair.
In fact, she's the only one who's biracial. My side is all African-American, and my wife's family are all Japanese.
When Alana spends time with either side, it's clear that she doesn't look just like them. Of course, I know she's unique and beautiful but, I am her father. The fact that Alana doesn't see her self represented in our family may be making it difficult to feel connected. Now that she's growing older, she's noticing more and articulating her frustrations.
My wife and I want her to be proud of being a part of two races and cultures but know we can't fully understand how she feels.
I will say, though, living as people of color in the United States gives us perspectives on what it's like to be treated differently. Still, we both can return to our upbringing as a way to ground ourselves.
I'm proud of being black and can share any trials and tribulations of black life with my family. My wife was born and raised in Japan. She can return to her country and take in everything she loves and fit right into the culture.
No matter where we go, Alana stands out.
Some of this desire for straight hair comes from watching movies and TV shows, of course. She sees so many white girls, and even Japanese girls—when we're watching TV Japan—with hair Alana feels is "beautiful and easy to comb."
What can we do?
I'm grateful for the short film "Hair Love," directed by Matthew A. Cherry about an African-American girl and her father learning to do her hair. There were so many moments watching it where Alana shouted, "That's like when you do my hair, Daddy!"
Another great example is the "Black-ish" TV show spinoff "Mixed-ish." Where Tracee Ellis Ross tells the story of her character, Rainbow, as a child growing up as a biracial child in the 1980s. The show is funny, heartfelt, and honest about how confusing it can be at times living in the middle of two families of different races, with a desire to love and honor both equally.
These beautiful examples of representation help to foster conversations.
Without them, I don't think we could discuss being mixed race as smoothly. Alana sees herself as unique and has a better understanding of her place in the world because of these creative artists.
I hope by sharing this story in writing, and comic strip format inspires those who need to see themselves represented.
Representation is grand, but it doesn't solve all our challenges.
Alana still doesn't like getting her hair combed.
We're working on that.
Photo by Bruno Reyna on Unsplash
They only come out at night. Clad in leather with long hair and makeup. Their music haunts your soul, and voices pierce your heart.
They’re rockers. And no one ever seems to fear them.
If I know one thing, we all need more to fear.
Rock musicians are clearly vampires. They are using their music to mesmerize you and concerts to lure you as their prey.
I advise approaching them with extreme caution.
With a documented history of vampire violence against innocents—hundreds, maybe even thousands of years of it—why aren’t we frightened?
Did you know that in 1863, in the village of Dekekuoi, Bulgaria, people were regularly attacked by a mob of young, possibly leather-wearing, sparkling vampires? They screamed outside of the villager’s homes and threw excrement at any pictures of religious figures.
Until an old witch (Baba Yaga?) decided she’d had enough and went to a local cemetery. She found the vampires’ graves and deduced that they must be escaping through holes in their tombstones. The witch sealed the holes, and vampires never gave the village of Dekekuoi trouble ever again.
This was a long time ago. Vampires have adapted. Learned how to blend in. Somewhat.
How often do you see a rock singer during the day? Their leather pants shining in the sun.
Rarely. Possibly never.
If you do, it might be just before a gig the group begrudgingly accepted in daylight hours to make some extra change.
They can’t hunt during the day. The gig had to be just for the money or they most certainly would have stayed in hiding.
If you go to a rock concert at night. Enjoy the performance, but don’t go backstage afterward.
Save a life. Watch the show and go home.
I mean, if vampires can walk among us and be left alone, how come it’s dangerous for everyone else who looks different? The majority of people in this world are not out to harm us. Vampires are, for sure!
Are vampires even real? Probably not.
So, what are we afraid of?
Photo by Galen Crout on Unsplash
Moving back home to the U.S. after living in Japan for two years was a shock to my system in more ways than one.
You always hear about how harmonious and helpful everyone is in Japan. I love the country, but it’s not an easy place to live as an ex-pat, especially if you speak very little Japanese.
Photo by Alexander Smagin on Unsplash
Life in the ‘land of the rising sun’ does have its perks, though. You can have a level of peace and solitude that I find difficult to come by in the United States. Crime is low and everyone is accustomed to living politely (and quietly) with their neighbors.
That tranquility among the noise is a massive part of what I miss about being in Japan.
I felt like a human being instead of a threat.
Living in Japan for two years as an African-American male was a challenge, but also liberating.
I was an English teacher with the JET Programme and truly loved the cultural exchange with the students and teachers in the Junior High Schools where I worked.
For me, in particular, I was not just a “black man” there, with all the fear and stereotypes that come along with it. I found I was lumped into one general category—foreigner.
Students saw me as a person from another country, fascinated with my hair and curious about what America was really like.
As I walked the streets of Osaka, I felt like a person and not someone the public would see as a threat. It was miraculous!
Sometimes people stared because I looked different.
Only because I wasn’t Japanese and not because I was black. Being six feet three, I found people were also mesmerized by my height.
It was astounding, no women clutched their purses as they passed or crossed the street when they saw me walking towards them on the sidewalk.
The biggest load-off my mind? Not worrying about getting shot by the police. I’m dead serious. That was a game-changer.
You should always be aware of your surroundings anywhere you go. Still, I’ll admit, I became pretty relaxed within the safety of the cities in Japan. Watching my back became a distant memory.
I felt like a person.
I love my country but after years of feeling like the “negative other” in America, I can forget I have value. Believe it or not, when I’m in the U.S., there are plenty of instances when I feel like saying the phrase popularized by Jesse Jackson, “I am somebody” to myself. Just to remember, I matter.
I have to consciously think about this when moving through life in the U.S. Tell myself I have value. Most of the negative stereotypes for black people perpetuated in the media and entertainment, tell a different story.
When I daydream about moving to a quiet rural area, where I can have solitude, reality always seeps in. It’s not the answer for all people. Jobs may be scarce, and if you’re not independently wealthy, you’ll need to pursue a career in a major city to make money to live the life you want.
Even as a black male, I’m afraid people living outside of big cities may have fewer interactions with people of color and be more closed-minded.
Living in Japan, experiencing each day as a different kind of “other”— compared to in America— was a special time in my life. I will say though, I do know through that experience, what it feels like to be seen as scary, only because I look different.
Photo by Laura Thonne on Unsplash
You experience prejudice as a foreigner in Japan. It’s just different.
Each day wasn’t perfect. There were times I would sit down on a subway train, and the person next to me would stand up and walk to a different area. Renting an apartment can be a challenge because some buildings do not rent to non-Japanese.
Getting together with other ex-pats helped relieve some of the microaggressions. You quickly understand that it doesn’t matter where you’re from or the color of your skin. If you do not look Japanese, you have situations where you are treated as a guest and not a citizen. Everyone could relate, come together, and vent their frustrations and also share what they love about living in Japan.
I often thought about how sad it was I had to leave my country of birth and move all the way to Asia to feel safe and at peace.
You don’t need to live in Japan to find yourself. Although, for an experience of a lifetime, visiting is most certainly recommended. The country is beautiful, rich in history and culture, and Japanese people are very kind to visitors. Things get more complicated when you live there for a long period of time.
Don’t let this scare you.
Have the courage to move to a new place if you feel the urge to experience something exciting and different.
I’m still searching for my next tranquil place to call home. Something close to what I had in Japan. The reality of moving to any new country will always stick with me, though.
Living abroad helps you understand that no country, city, or neighborhood, is perfect.
When I find my next tranquil home, I expect to enjoy the positives and take the negatives with a grain of firm salt.
I can’t be the only one…
I'm not a gym guy. I've tried several times, but I can't make it work for me the way my friends can. My mind gets overwhelmed and discombobulated every time I enter one and try to use the machines.
I know, making it a habit would probably help. Over time I'd memorize how to use each one and gain more confidence.
But I ask you, is it really worth it to commit to a gym?
Why are so many people willing to spend their time and energy moving their bodies, sweating like the crazy, stuck inside of a building?
"Spinning" on bikes that don't move. Running on treadmills that go nowhere while watching HGTV.
What are we, human hamsters?
It makes me want to walk around, yelling at people, "Stop working so hard to go nowhere! I know it's cold outside but have some balls. Get a real bike and ride! Ride to an actual place. Move forward. Go somewhere in life!"
To be fair, I can see going to a gym as a win if it's the only way you get motivated to exercise.
You get to drive, not walk or bike, to a building that is enclosed, shut off from the real world, where you can escape.
Like taking a trip to Exercise Land.
Walking in, you see beautiful in-shape bodies, a few that could use some work, and the gym wakes up your senses. And your jealousy.
"I gotta spin and lift too so I can look like all of these Greek Gods."
You smell the motivation in the air. Or is that athlete's foot? Either way, you're pumped.
That's how I try to feel when I enter a gym. It's usually one a friend invites me to in hopes I fall in love with the overpriced sweat house.
It all seems so magical. So, encouraging. Until I walk up to my nemesis.
The treadmill.
Theoretically, I should be able to step on it and just start walking. I'm sure that's how they were back in the olden' days.
Everything has to be so damn advanced now that I have to anxiously go through pressing buttons and choosing settings just to start.
I only want to get moving so I can go nowhere like everyone else.
The super-fit woman to the right of me who clearly has been running for seventeen straight hours tries not to watch me fumble around with the treadmill motherboard.
The guy on the left just gives a smirk. I bet he's thinking, "Look, a new guy. What a loser. He probably wastes all of his time running outside. In...nature."
Once I figure out a setting that will make the treadmill move, I can finally start walking. The choices don't end there, though.
I have to choose a TV station to watch. Here I am taking a stroll and channel surfing. Trying to enjoy the multi-tasking, first-world problem of what to watch while breathing hard and sweating.
After going through all the channels, you know where I end up.
HGTV.
Walking turns to jogging. The feeling is incredible. The treadmill surface is softer than the hard concrete, so I get the false sense that I can run farther than I ever can out in the elements.
I'm jogging while watching a couple remodel their mid-century modern home. Continually checking how many imaginary miles I've completed here in this building of "No pain, no gain."
One mile. I ran one mile. It feels like ten. Probably because I'm still in the same place I started.
Slowing down to a walk again seems like an excellent idea. Change up the pace, like interval training.
Boy, was I wrong.
As I ease back into a walk, I start feeling dizzy. Do you feel like this on one of these things too?
Like a fool, I blame it on HGTV.
Changing the channel will help. I reach for the channel button, the room spins, and I fall forward onto the treadmill.
Or is it back as the moving surface pulls me down and onto the floor?
What do you know, the treadmill surface stops moving. No buttons to press. I just had to fall on my face.
The lady on the right looks surprised for a second but can't stop running, she's too close to completing her five thousand miles.
The guy on the left keeps running but yells out, "You okay, dude?!"
I get myself up slowly, give a shy wave to my super athletic neighbors, and hobble away in shame.
My knee hurts from the fall but not as much as—let's say it together—my pride.
Please tell me falling off treadmills is something that happens at gyms regularly.
It can't only be my failed attempt at running in place.
If you want to do anything meaningful in life, you always hear experts say it's crucial to be a "self-starter" or a person who's "motivated" to be successful?
Maybe you feel like that's for a special kind of person. What if you think there's no way that can be you?
It doesn't mean you have nothing in the world to strive for or go after. You may have big dreams.
You're just not doing what it takes to move forward.
I bet you've read or heard inspirational teachers saying, define what real success looks like to you. Find your reason "why," to make it important enough. And that will motivate you to pursue your goals.
This is good advice, but what if you still have trouble moving forward toward what you consider success?
Take on "The Parenting Mindset."
Maybe you're not even a parent. But one thing is true—you must take care of yourself.
No one else is going to, not really.
Your life is totally, and without a doubt, all your responsibility.
I am a parent, and one thing I felt when my daughter was born was a massive sense of responsibility. Babies are helpless. Even though I knew this intellectually, the fact that she couldn't do anything for herself hit me like a ton of bricks.
If my wife and I didn't feed, clothe, and change her diapers regularly, she wouldn't survive.
You are not helpless, however. You can make changes and live the life you choose. No matter what you've been through.
The hardest part of parenting—the part that created the mindset below—is that you must do all of these things to raise your child, and no one cares if you're tired.
It doesn't matter if you're sick or depressed. Your baby needs food. Your child needs your support and care.
Think of your life this way.
The parenting mindset involves treating your goals like a child that needs constant care, only you can give, no matter what.
That's the hard part about life, right? Having to take care of business and move forward even when you're feeling down or "life" is slapping you in the face with a wet towel.
It can be easy to let all your motivation get sucked out of you.
I know there are those of us who have more challenges to overcome than others, but it could always be worse.
Actually, I would suggest thinking about all the ways it could be worse, so you understand how good you have it.
Gratitude. It's the perfect reset. Start there, and then keep moving forward.
Sometimes, we're tired and need to rest. That's fine. Take time to recharge, but decide for how long.
Decide to take a break for a few hours—a day, a weekend. Then, get off your buttocks and get back to work.
If you are a parent. Don't use your child as an excuse not to pursue your goals. Look at them as your motivation to succeed.
I know it's challenging, especially in the first year of raising your child, to make time for yourself, but carve out what you can, when you can.
Think about it, which would you instead tell your kids when they grow older, "Raising you was too hard, so I just gave up on my dreams." Or, "Raising you was the challenge that helped make me stronger. You inspired me every day to pursue my dreams to make you proud."
I remember feeling noxious every time I had to wake up multiple times a night to feed or change my daughter's diapers. It was tough, but I got used to it.
Hard? Yes. For the best reason? Raising my offspring. Heck, Yeah!
I discovered I'm capable of so much more. If I can survive on very little sleep and still go to work and perform at a professional level, I can do more in my life than I previously thought.
Not to mention, using what very little free time I had in the most efficient way possible helped me start my Fried Chicken and Sushi webcomic and update it twice a week consistently.
I found the magic in how productive you become when you limit the amount of time you have to spend on something.
Try it. Whether you're a parent or not, behave like one.
Take full responsibility for your success. Be grateful for what you have.
No one will help you the way that you can.
Make up your mind that you can do much more than you think you can each day.
Use your limitations to motivate you.
See how much you can do in a short period. Take what you feel is lacking in your life and reframe how you think about it. Can you turn it into something that can light a fire in you to push harder towards your goals?
I think you can.
No.
I know you can.
Now, get out there and make things happen. Before I put you in time-out.
Fried Chicken and Sushi is a Blog and humorous comic strip about living in Japan and Japanese pop-culture.
© copyright 2010 - Khalid Birdsong All Rights Reserved.
