Why You Need to Build Calluses on Your Brain to Succeed in Life

How one quote by David Goggins could help you embrace suffering

Photo courtesy of intellectualsinsider.com.

One of the most brutal truths to accept: suffering is something everyone experiences in life, and you are not immune. But you can get stronger.

Feeling disappointment when bad things happen is usual, and it can almost feel like, however, you're a victim of bad karma. Like all of this shouldn't be happening to you.

Let's get real here, going through hard times, heartbreak, and unforeseen challenges will occur regularly and most likely break your spirit. Staying strong through it all takes strength and confidence, but most of all, determination.

How can you not let the crap of life drag you down the drain with it?

Look at suffering as an edge

Whenever I hear David Goggins speak or read his stern but encouraging words, it puts everything in the proper perspective. Tough to take in at times, but core strengthening.

David Goggins is an ultramarathon runner, ultra-distance cyclist, triathlete, motivational speaker, and author if you don't know him. He's a retired United States Navy SEAL and former United States Air Force Tactical Air Control Party member who served in Afghanistan and the Iraq War.

Goggins is a former world record holder for the most pull-ups done in 24 hours (4,030 to be exact). Crazy, right?! His self-help memoir, Can't Hurt Me, was released in 2018 and is chock full of inspirational quotes to help you take action and live the life of a warrior.

Becoming just like him is not the goal—there's no way I could even come close—but becoming stronger to face whatever life throws at you is definitely where you should want to grow.

Here's his way to think about this:

“You have to build calluses on your brain just like how you build calluses on your hands. Callus your mind through pain and suffering.” David Goggins

When you're familiar with suffering and confident you can move forward, you have an edge in life even while in pain.

Hardening your resolve when challenges face you, and they will, gives you the confidence to say, "I've been through worse; I can take this." You aren't as phased by pain and setbacks the way others are.

If you go through hell, you don't expect to live in heaven at all times.

Seek challenges to learn how to face hard times

In what I've read from David Goggins, he believes you have to suffer from growing, and there's no way around it. This idea resonated with me, but I wouldn't say I liked the feeling it gave at first.

You know intellectually you will not succeed at everything, but you hope never to experience disappointment or failure. It doesn't add up. I had to accept that the good of life comes with the bad—even though I wanted to feel like it should be easy and fun.

Goggins says you should train yourself to get stronger by seeking out challenging goals and pushing hard towards achieving them. You'll go through pain, but come out with those calluses to keep you moving forward.

They say life is a marathon and not a sprint, and well, I think it's more of an Iron Man Triathlon. It would be best to excel in many different areas, from managing your emotions to developing and growing employable skills while keeping a positive outlook on life.

It's not simple, but you can succeed at just about anything when you understand you have the power already inside you.

Start running into your fear zone today

You will become great if you can get through doing all the crap you hate to do. This idea is one Goggins believes, and I've seen work in my life.

Living through health problems and job losses was difficult, but I have to admit that facing rejection regularly is one of the toughest.

As a creative person, rejection is something you must become acquainted with, almost like it's a family member you tolerate. Submitting articles to publications and hearing it's not fit for them, or putting a piece of art out there no one responds to, or even worse gives negative comments about, is a nightmare.

You can't make the possibility of rejection stop you from sharing your work or who you truly are. I like to call my feeling of uncertainty a "Fear Zone." When I notice my reluctance to submit or put something out in the world I worked hard on, I tell myself to run, not walk, into that fear zone.

When something doesn't go how you planned, or someone tells you no, it feels crappy. Sure, you can feel upset and even get mad and depressed, but you must rise again at some point.

When you've built up the mental muscles to handle your disappointments, do the uncomfortable work, and still walk through fear, you may fail many times, but at some point, you will succeed.

Take a tip from David Goggins and start building those mental calluses today.

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First, They Call You a Fool, Then They Call You Brilliant

Illustrated by the author.

Taking risks that make sense to you may look crazy to others.

Two years ago, I quit my secure art teaching job for a position as a copywriter at a large medical device company. In the middle of the school year, no less—not a wise move in education.

Most teachers wait to leave until June, when they’ve completed a full school year. A great idea if you’re moving to another teaching job. Unfortunately, the corporate world isn’t on the same schedule.

I was scared about what this might do to my teaching career but ready to tackle a new challenge in a different profession.

I worked as a freelance copywriter for more than two years while teaching full-time and was ready to transition into writing more and teaching less. Leaving education at the mid-point of the year wasn’t ideal, but I knew this opportunity would be a good one.

This doesn’t sound too crazy you might think.

I didn’t mention yet, the new copywriter job was a temporary contract position for three months with only a possibility for extension. I was taking a huge risk.

Some people called me a fool. Others, were openly encouraging, but I bet were thinking to themselves I must have lost my mind.

What if I sucked, and they didn’t extend my contract past three months? Working as a contractor can turn into a permanent position, though. They might love the work I do for them and hire me on. Would I be able to get a job in education again if this position didn’t work out?

Even I felt a little crazy. Some days I was thinking, “What am I doing?” Inside, though, I had a feeling it would all work out.

You’re always a fool until you’re brilliant

I follow matchmaker and business columnist Paul Carrick Brunson on LinkedIn and he posted this video talking about his experience with being called a fool for taking risks in his personal life and career. Until he became a success and everyone switched and starting calling him brilliant.

He invested his wife’s savings in his matchmaker business. They called him a fool. He pulled his kids out of school to homeschool them. Foolish, they said.

According to Paul, he was called a fool for fifteen years before it all changed. Now, he’s interviewed regularly on television and people are incredibly impressed with his advice and the success he’s accomplished in his business.

The thing is, this praise only started in the past five years. The first fifteen, he was called a fool. If Paul had given up and listened to the naysayers, he wouldn’t have made it past “fool” status to “brilliant” where he is now.

Have the courage to follow your inner guidance

You not only need the confidence to stick with what you know is right, but the patience to reap the benefits. We all want success to happen right away but good things take time.

Paul Carrick Brunson has been at it for twenty years. I was teaching for seventeen before moving into a corporate position. Having years of knowledge and experience can help you move out or back into a career when needed.

I’d love to tell you I’m still working the copywriting job at the tech company but when the pandemic hit, a hiring freeze ruined my chances of staying on. They did extend my original three month contract three more months. Then, added on another six months.

The medical device industry is difficult to write creatively in because of all the medical and legal regulations. You have to be very careful with the words you use and make sure to back up any promises or claims.

I was frustrated and wanted to leave after a year but something funny happened. The writing and business started making sense to me. I was getting good.

Fortunately, they extended my contract another six months. Unfortunately, the hiring freeze brought on by the fear and uncertainty of the pandemic lockdown meant I wouldn’t get a permanent position. They could only keep me for eighteen months in total, so I knew my time was running out.

I didn’t regret my decision to risk working as a contractor, though. My goal was to gain corporate experience at a tech company as a writer. My writing improved, I met amazing people, and learned a great deal.

Maybe it wasn’t the secure choice, but it was worth it.

Take the “calculated crazy” risk when you can

You know what you need to do to live the life you want. I bet it’s the opinion of others that’s slowing you down or making you feel like you’re crazy.

Ignore them. One thing I’ve learned over years of taking risks that looked kooky to others at the time but ended up working out in the end is, people will give you props and respect when you succeed.

As long as you have a plan and can see how where you’re going can provide new skills to help you become who you want to be, you’re golden.

People might not have understood your vision or goals at first, but when it all comes together, suddenly, you’re looked at as intelligent and resourceful.

Fine. Accept the kind words and don’t get upset with the fact that it took the time and effort it did. Stay in the game long enough to take risks where you win or lose, and keep going until you build something you’re proud of and garners respect.

One thing is true, the majority of people are afraid to go against what’s safe and secure.

Nothing is secure.

Even though taking calculated risks may look ridiculous to the average person. You don’t have to be an average person.

Don’t listen to the noise

My final point is one Paul Carrick Brunson pointed out in his video message. Don’t listen to the noise. Your friends and family care about you and mainly want the best, but they don’t understand your path.

You know what you have to do. They might not see it but that doesn’t mean they’re right. They care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt. Give thanks for them and ignore their negativity and fear. Do what you have to do.

As long as it’s well-thought-out and doesn’t harm anyone in the process, go for it. You can always make another decision later if it doesn’t go the way you hoped.

If only this type of confidence were easy. It’s not. To make it through, you may have to:

• Deal with feeling your heart pounding in fear in the beginning of your journey at the same time you’re holding your head up high to appear sure of yourself.

• Listen to other people’s negative comments about your choices while thinking of the reasons why you’re going about it this way so you stay confident.

• Remember, when times get tough, success is a marathon, not a sprint. It will all feel slow when you’re in the thick of it, but when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will all be rewarding.

I’m back teaching art again. My connections from previous schools helped me get a job in education after losing my copywriter position.

At first, I felt like a failure for only moving out of teaching for a year and a half and then having to go back. Then, I saw how what I learned transferred over to education. In fact, I was able to add communications onto my responsibilities by writing blogs and posting to social media for my school along with teaching art.

If I ever want to go back into copywriting in the future, I’ll always have the corporate experience I gained at the tech company to help.

Brilliant? You be the judge.

So far, it’s working well for me.

One Habit a Day- To feel like you again

Facing this pandemic while working through the anger, fear, and pain associated with the murders of black people in America, as a black male myself, is exhausting. There are times I want to be alone to process it all, and times I want to dive deeper into my work to escape.

There’s so much to do. Work responsibilities aren’t stopping, and focus must be given to them, whether we want to or not. I also know there’s so much that could be done to help the country right now.

Speaking out against systemic racism and police brutality through writing and art. Leaving the house, mask on, to protest with the masses. I want to be everywhere all the time.

It’s overwhelming. Sometimes, I can’t even remember who I am anymore.

If you’re feeling like me, I think it’s an excellent time to let some expectations go and to simplify your days. You cannot accomplish what you could back before the world drove off a cliff.

Complete one habit in the morning for a quick win

Definition of habit

1 : a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior.

- Her habit of taking a morning walk

Will you wake up early to write for an hour? Make that your one habit of conquering in the mornings to ignite your fire. Perhaps, you enjoy going for a run because exercise helps to clear your mind. Schedule the time when you will get up and put everything in place to make sure you do it.

Write your morning plan the night before and leave it out where you can see it when you wake up. Take out your running gear so you can put it on right away and take off.

Picking one habit that you know you can complete in the morning will give you the confidence to face these challenges. The challenges we’re all emotionally wading through each day. Give yourself as much space as you can each day to just be with it all.

An excerpt from the book by Nicolas Cole and Dr. Matthew Jones, “Slow Down, Wake Up,” states:

“You’re not supposed to function every single second of every single day at 100%. Anyone who tells you otherwise, including yourself, needs greater self-compassion.”

One is enough

If your one morning habit was all you could bring yourself to complete today, let that be okay.

Pick one thing to accomplish professionally and personally each day, then celebrate it.

For the days when you’re feeling down, let completing that one habit fill you with pride. It shows you can accomplish something important to you. You might find that it gives you the energy to work on another one of your things.

The point is to keep your expectations low right now in these difficult times. Do only what you can but plan to do at least one crucial daily habit to move your life or career forward.

One thing a day, can become a habit, help you process heavy emotions, and lead to more professional wins in the future.

How to Succeed Using "The Parenting Mindset"

If you want to do anything meaningful in life, you always hear experts say it's crucial to be a "self-starter" or a person who's "motivated" to be successful? 

Maybe you feel like that's for a special kind of person. What if you think there's no way that can be you?

It doesn't mean you have nothing in the world to strive for or go after. You may have big dreams.

You're just not doing what it takes to move forward. 

I bet you've read or heard inspirational teachers saying, define what real success looks like to you. Find your reason "why," to make it important enough. And that will motivate you to pursue your goals.

This is good advice, but what if you still have trouble moving forward toward what you consider success?

Take on "The Parenting Mindset." 

Maybe you're not even a parent. But one thing is true—you must take care of yourself. 

No one else is going to, not really. 

Your life is totally, and without a doubt, all your responsibility.

I am a parent, and one thing I felt when my daughter was born was a massive sense of responsibility. Babies are helpless. Even though I knew this intellectually, the fact that she couldn't do anything for herself hit me like a ton of bricks. 

If my wife and I didn't feed, clothe, and change her diapers regularly, she wouldn't survive.

You are not helpless, however. You can make changes and live the life you choose. No matter what you've been through. 

The hardest part of parenting—the part that created the mindset below—is that you must do all of these things to raise your child, and no one cares if you're tired. 

It doesn't matter if you're sick or depressed. Your baby needs food. Your child needs your support and care.

Think of your life this way.

The parenting mindset involves treating your goals like a child that needs constant care, only you can give, no matter what. 

That's the hard part about life, right? Having to take care of business and move forward even when you're feeling down or "life" is slapping you in the face with a wet towel.

It can be easy to let all your motivation get sucked out of you.

I know there are those of us who have more challenges to overcome than others, but it could always be worse. 

Actually, I would suggest thinking about all the ways it could be worse, so you understand how good you have it. 

Gratitude. It's the perfect reset. Start there, and then keep moving forward.

Sometimes, we're tired and need to rest. That's fine. Take time to recharge, but decide for how long.

Decide to take a break for a few hours—a day, a weekend. Then, get off your buttocks and get back to work.

If you are a parent. Don't use your child as an excuse not to pursue your goals. Look at them as your motivation to succeed.

I know it's challenging, especially in the first year of raising your child, to make time for yourself, but carve out what you can, when you can.

Think about it, which would you instead tell your kids when they grow older, "Raising you was too hard, so I just gave up on my dreams." Or, "Raising you was the challenge that helped make me stronger. You inspired me every day to pursue my dreams to make you proud."

I remember feeling noxious every time I had to wake up multiple times a night to feed or change my daughter's diapers. It was tough, but I got used to it. 

Hard? Yes. For the best reason? Raising my offspring. Heck, Yeah!

I discovered I'm capable of so much more. If I can survive on very little sleep and still go to work and perform at a professional level, I can do more in my life than I previously thought.

Not to mention, using what very little free time I had in the most efficient way possible helped me start my Fried Chicken and Sushi webcomic and update it twice a week consistently. 

I found the magic in how productive you become when you limit the amount of time you have to spend on something.

Try it. Whether you're a parent or not, behave like one.

Take full responsibility for your success. Be grateful for what you have. 

No one will help you the way that you can.

Make up your mind that you can do much more than you think you can each day.

Use your limitations to motivate you.

See how much you can do in a short period. Take what you feel is lacking in your life and reframe how you think about it. Can you turn it into something that can light a fire in you to push harder towards your goals?

I think you can.

No.

I know you can.

Now, get out there and make things happen. Before I put you in time-out.