You Can Give Up on Art And Come Back Later

If you’re sick and tired of creating — then stop.

My caricature of artist Jean-michel Basquiat.

If you love something, let it go.

You’ve heard the saying. It doesn’t have to be forever, though especially when it’s a hobby or skill you love dearly.

I’ve been drawing all my life (at least since I was three years old), and it’s a skill I’ve worked hard to develop. Unfortunately, I still feel I’m not good enough compared to other talented artists I see online.

I feel like giving up.

I’m forty-seven, and everything I’ve worked hard for in art hasn’t gone as far as I thougth it would career wise. Making comics, drawing a comic strip syndicated online for seven years, and even freelance illustrating have only taken me so far.

I know I should stop, but I can’t.

When you love something and see it as a part of yourself, it’s hard to let it go.

Actually, that’s not totally true. I’ve met people who were smart enough to try making art or cartooning a career and then let it go after years of letdowns. They moved into something else more profitable and never looked back.

Being one of those people is so hard for me. Is it because I’m stupid?

I want to think it’s because I still enjoy making art. The consistent work you have to put in practicing techniques feels good when you see yourself improve.

The whole “Journey is more enjoyable than the destination” thing should be what we focus on more than money.

But what if you don’t care about creating your art anymore?

Stop making art and see if you can live without it.

Giving up feels good. Making your passion less important in your life can relieve creative stress and expectations. There’s beauty in letting it all go.

If, after a few months, or maybe even years, you feel the pull to create again, maybe your love of the art is more a part of you than you realize.

You can always start it up again and slowly and gently add more time into your schedule for creation.

There might be times in your life when it’s harder to make your art. Like when your are a parent of a young child or you’re adjusting to moving to a new city.

When I lived in Japan for two years, I barely drew anything. I didn’t open up a sketchbook, and I rarely drew any comics. Do you know what I did do, though? I learned to speak Japanese — which takes a lot of time and effort, let me tell you. I dated and met my wife. Spending time with someone special takes effort and dedication. Giving time to explore a new country, culture, and relationship was some of the best times I’ve spent in my life.

And I wasn’t drawing or writing. I was too busy living.

Towards the end of the second year, I started writing the script for my graphic novel, Tales of Tritoria: Youngbloods, and it was refreshing to spend some of my time in creation mode.

I didn’t start drawing pages and going all in on the production of the book until I moved back to the states. Yeah, it took me a few months to get back into the swing and stamina of drawing comics again, but the time away was worth it.

I felt refreshed and excited to produce comics again. All I needed was a break.

If you decide to take a break, you might come back at just the right time.

“What if I give up, and then my type of art becomes popular? I’ll miss opportunities?”

I doubt that.

Number one, you will have work you’ve done in the past you can pull out and sell or share. Number two, timing is something you can’t predict. The right time period in your life, combined with trends in the market, could be in your favor.

You never know. That’s why focusing on doing something you enjoy is the key.

The International Society of Caricature Artists (ISCA) holds a challenge in January called Caricature Resolution with a list of names of famous people each day you can choose to draw from.

Today’s person, for example, is 1980s Neo-expressionism artist Jean-Michel Basquiat.

It took me several tries to get closer to his likeness. At first, I tried different head shapes and placement of the eyes and mouth. You get the sense of him, but in my opinion, they didn’t have his likeness.

A lot of times with caricatures, you have to try different combinations until you get it right.

THe real basquiat for comparison.

I’m still working on getting better at drawing the likeness of celebrities, and it’s even harder than you might think. I’ve studied books, my favorite being Tom Richmond’s The Mad Art of Caricature, and watched several videos on YouTube to brush up on my skills.

Twenty years ago, I lived in Orlando, FL, and worked as a caricature artist for a small company set up in hotels and special events. All of this while starting to teach elementary school Art during the week.

I was just okay at it. You have to move fast and draw people in three to five minutes, then, I used watercolor to finish them off, and it was truly a challenge.

Sometimes people like how you draw them, and sometimes they don’t.

You grow a thick skin, but mine didn’t thicken up enough. I got tired of the demands of live caricatures and gave up after two years.

I wish I had continued. My drawing skills would have grown so fast, and who knows where it might have taken me. I never worked in Disney or Universal Studios theme parks, but that would have been the ultimate challenge.

My eyes were on making comics and publishing. Funny enough, most of the freelance work I get now comes from caricature illustration.

I’m looking to do more practice work in 2023 for art that generates more income for me.

Caricature is that art form. Why fight it?

I’ll keep practicing regularly.

Take a break for as long as you like, and art will be there waiting for you to return.

Don’t say you’ll give up forever.

Making a living solely from art is extremely difficult. If you tried it and you got burnt out, take a break. Try art directing or going into a completely different field. You can always create art in your free time when you want to get back into it.

There may come a time in life when opportunities open up again for you to get paid, and you can jump back in with both feet.

There’s nothing wrong with seeing your art as a life long pursuit. You can create until you die, so why rush things?

I’m doing everything possible to keep the caricature practice light and fun. Improving is definitely a goal, but I don’t have to be pro level anytime soon.

The real actor grace kelly.

the real malcolm x.

Who knows, in time, I might try getting back into live caricatures again. The thought of drawing people in person with everyone watching seems scary as hell right now. But I’ll go with the thought.

At some point in the future, it might be nice to have this skill to have fun and make money when I can.

If you’re tired and run down from not getting where you’d like with your art, take a break and give yourself time to see it in a different light.

Your passion will be waiting with open arms when you’re ready to return.

If you like my artistic outlook on life, consider subscribing to my newsletter, A New Creative Life, by clicking here.

You Only Need 3 Words to Have a Life You Yearn For

Upgrading your thinking doesn't have to be hard

Photo by Kajetan Sumila on Unsplash

One of the biggest names in the fashion industry didn't start designing wedding dresses until age 40.

Vera Wang found her true calling a bit later in life. She pursued her dreams of being a successful athlete but failed to qualify for the 1968 Olympic figure-skating team.

When her sports goals didn't work out as she'd hoped, Vera changed what she yearned for and took on one of her other interests—fashion. Working at Vogue for many years gave her experience and new skills, but, unfortunately, she never rose to the company's top.

Putting time in on the side to design wedding dresses and ultimately open her bridal boutique in the upscale Carlyle Hotel on Madison Avenue in New York City helped put her on the map.

Today, Vera Wang is huge in the fashion realm with a business worth over one billion dollars.

Anyone who succeeds through multiple ups and downs and can pivot into success must have a clear vision to pursue. Deciding what your's is can be easier than you think.

Choose three words to yearn for in life

I bet you tend to want it all when it comes to life—all the money, a perfect loving relationship, and a fantastic job. It might even be that you're extremely specific about exactly which company you want to work for or the type of person you most desire.

How about you try picking just three words that cover what you yearn for in life in a broader sense?

Narrowing down what you truly want to three words can help your mind focus and attract the experiences you desire most. This keeps you open to many possibilities and not fixed on specific outcomes.

For example, if you say, "I yearn for kindness, adventure, and peace in my life." this statement will set your mind in motion to attract what you desire.

Making concrete decisions activates the universe to start working for you. Keeping what you yearn for broad and open will give you the flexibility to change when needed.

Me? I yearn for love, freedom, and creativity.

Coming up with those words took several tries. In fact, I might still change them. It gives me a high-level idea of what I need to feel like life is going my way. Something similar to a compass that guides me when I get off track. I can ask myself questions like, "Will this bring more love into my life, or less?" or "Can I gain more freedom from starting this business?"

When you have the three words you yearn for, you're on your way. If they're not all present in your life yet, be careful with how fast you expect them.

Walk towards your goals, don't run

Yearning is not desperation. Take your time getting to where you want to go in your life, relationships, and career. Anytime I try to rush things, they turn out less meaningful with little fulfillment.

Make your yearnings like the locations you're walking towards each day. Move steadily ahead but always have your goals in sight. There's so much to discover when you take time to pay attention along the way.

Running fast towards goals makes you miss learning moments. These are important ones that could help you appreciate what you're receiving and help with the knowledge to keep it together.

Yearning leads to doing, then eventually, becoming. I hate to admit sometimes that growth and change are gradual. Patience is not my strong suit. The problem is, you don't see how much you've grown most of the time because changes are so small. Doing more faster usually feels like the more innovative way to get to success. It's not.

Remember, doing small acts leads to more significant success in time. Stacking those little blocks can build on themselves.

In conclusion

If you don't have an overarching idea of what you want your life to feel like, you won't get all you desire. Some favorable aspects can happen by chance and fit into your vision, but a good life you yearn for takes planning and intention most of the time.

Here’s the truth: People who get what they want tend to be the ones who make the effort to know what they want. -Martha Beck

I'm nearly there with my goals of love, freedom, and creativity. The freedom part is still taking time, though, like my dream of not working a day job but choosing to solely because it interests me.

I have more flexibility in my life right now because I know what I'm looking for and can make decisions based on my vision. You can do this too.

Choose your three words to yearn for in life and start taking the steps and strides, like Vera Wang, down the runway towards them. Make sure to carry patience on your back. You'll get there eventually and realize everything you desire is already surrounding you.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Getting Your Dream Job Should Never Be The End Goal

I’m not afraid anymore to admit what matters

Photo by Magnet.me on Unsplash

When you get that (insert dream job), you’ll be happy. Right?

Even though you know this isn’t true, you hope it will be.

Why? Because you want to feel special. Someone chose you for that job and, therefore, success. So, you’re important. The validation you receive from the money, prestige, and professional challenge of that position will make all of your hard work up until now worthwhile.

Is there more to a career than giving all your talents to a company?

Could it be you’re afraid to see it’s really about what you’re giving to the world as well as yourself at the same time? While also giving to yourself, what you contribute to society brings you meaning—a genuine purpose.

Not just a ladder for you to climb in a career.

When everyone is telling you to strive for success, you may wonder what that means. Yes, it depends on how you think success should look, but there’s more.

My dream of becoming an art teacher came true. There are parts I love about the job. And other parts I could do without—the same for when I dreamed of working as a copywriter at a tech company. The experience was incredible in so many ways and not so fantastic in others.

I thought those jobs were my dreams come true, so everything should be perfect in my life then. They would surely be my everything and solve all my problems: no more sadness and impostor syndrome for me.

Until I realized jobs would never make me feel like a 100% success. So, how do we change our mindset and look at our career aspirations a little differently? It’s only one part of the equation.

We have to face the facts.

A job ain’t nothin’ but work

What is the reason for a job in the first place? You make money so you can pay for a place to live and have clothing and food. It’s work, but we make it into so much more—our identity. If you have to work, remove yourself from becoming the profession itself.

Turn your thinking into, “I am a human being doing this job because it adds to the world, teaches me new skills, and helps me live the life I want.”

I’ve been fortunate enough to get jobs I worked hard towards and could be considered dreams come true. I still have ultimate dream jobs, like working for an animation studio or getting a graphic novel series published, but those have to do with a combination of skill and luck. They can take more time to achieve. I’m still growing as a writer and artist and will get there eventually.

Any jobs I have are lovely stepping stones on the journey to where I want to go. Not a definition of all I am.

Making sure you’re learning valuable skills is how you give yourself better opportunities. When you see the experience you’re gaining by working the job you’re in now, it can become more than just work.

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”
Colin Powell

Make money so you can do what you love

A “day job” can be a good thing. One that gives you the money to afford the time to do what you love is a fantastic ticket to creative fulfillment.

Keep in mind; if we get our dream jobs, they might not be how we imagine. There’s a difference between a dream and a fantasy.

If you get your dream job and hate it, is it a dream come true? Maybe what you fantasize about can never be in real life. Or, the day-to-day expectations of what it takes to do that job are not to your liking.

That’s fine. If you tried it but didn’t like it, now you know. If you’re not there yet, find interviews with people doing what you dream of doing. How does the reality of the job sound to you? Can you handle that level of stress or keep up with the expectations?

“No matter what you’re doing, try to work at that task like it’s your dream job.”
Russell Simmons

What if you have a job that doesn’t suck, pays your bills, and gives you space to work on your passions — like music, art, and writing in your free time? Is that so bad? You’ve given yourself a chance to spend time doing what you enjoy and making it a priority.

It’s not your job, so you can do the parts of your hobby or interests that are fun and schedule them when you want. It’s not a chore or ball of stress you have to manage every day. It stays your outlet.

I discovered my main goal is to get better and grow my skills in creative areas. You could choose to share your hobbies with others or keep them to yourself. Even the judgment of others is something you won’t have to deal with if you’re doing it for fun.

I’ve had plenty of jobs that were for paying the bills so I could make comics. Waiting tables was one of them, not to mention being a security guard–perfect for drawing while watching the security cameras — and even teaching gives me summers off to work as a cartoonist full-time.

Craft a life that supports the pursuit of your passions, and your dreams will quietly come true in your spare time.

Having the ability to start your own business is key

Even if you could create a business with all the skills you’ve acquired and practice you’ve put into your passion, it doesn’t mean you have to turn it into a business.

I talked about this in my previous article in the same vein here:

4 Reasons Your Hobby Should Not Become Your Business

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t have to be your side-hustle.

khalidbirdsong.medium.com

Knowing you could make it a business feels pretty good, though. If you need to make money or life takes a turn for the worst, having skills you can use to earn more dough could be a lifesaver.

Putting time into practicing your writing, drawing, and even administrative skills could be services you could sell down the line. Just know, you don’t have to make everything a side-hustle.

Creating for yourself means any style or format you choose is entirely up to you. When you want to change how you create, you won’t have thousands of fans looking for you to do it the way you always have. Or, you won’t have to worry about clients chasing you for freelance jobs.

The freedom to work on what excites you and then change when you feel ready and willing is liberating.

The true meaning of work

You’re giving to others and being of service. If you’re not doing that, find a way to add more giving to your workday. This truth once felt silly to me. I see now; sharing is what it’s all about. A job shouldn’t be just about what makes you happy only.

Work should also be about giving and helping yourself get better at something you enjoy—an actual path to fulfillment.

“You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”
Woodrow Wilson

A dream job is meaningless if you’re not helping others in some way as well as feeding your soul.

Take these ideas to heart and decide who you want to be. How will you grow your skills, help the world, and live your dreams instead of only striving for a fantastic job?

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

4 Reasons Your Hobby Should Not Become Your Business

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t have to be your side-hustle.

Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash

Let’s imagine you’re exhausted and up late working on an important personal project. The one that, once it’s out in the world, will put you on the map and attract attention. With some luck and a little bit of success, your dream of quitting your day job could come true.

Then what? You get to do that every day, all day? Is this really the future you’re hoping for?

Why can’t this be something you do for fun?

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t mean it has to become your job.

I know that’s counter-intuitive to what everyone’s touting online today, but it’s true. Your hobby shouldn’t always become your business.

I’m sure you’re good at many things. It doesn’t mean you have to turn them all into side-hustles that turn into big-time companies.

Unfortunately, I’ve learned this the hard way. My love for drawing comics and writing has led me to pursue making money from them as a side-hustle. It’s not as fun as it’s cracked up to be. Between deadlines, prospecting for clients, and balancing my work and projects with family responsibilities.

We live in a time now, with the internet giving us opportunities to easily share work with the world, where people think you should “Do what you love, and the money will follow.”

We all feel like we’re missing out if we don’t have a passion and pursue it for profit.

Contrary to popular belief, making money with what you love is hard. Does it have to be your goal? Here are four reasons why you might not want to turn your hobby into a business.

1. Hobbies should be fun

Why do you love doing your hobby? If it brings you a sense of joy, for example, isn’t that enough?

If all of your needs are being met by your day job, perhaps adding on more work to make your hobby into a business isn’t worth the extra stress and commitments.

Your hobby should be — and stay — enjoyable. Something you look forward to escaping into and forgetting about the outside world.

I remember my grandfather had several hobbies. He enjoyed making the most delicious fudge and giving it as gifts to family and friends. Should he have opened up a business selling fudge out of his kitchen? Not necessarily.

I doubt he enjoyed it enough to add on all the extra responsibilities involved with a bakery business.

He mainly wanted something fun and fulfilling to do in his leisure time. Making fudge brightened his days and added a little sweetness to others. For him, that was enough.

Knowing you can go deep into something at your own pace, where you think clearly and feel at ease, is a blessing. Don’t complicate it.

“I can elect something I love and absorb myself in it.”
― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931–1934

2. Making it a business turns it into work

We don’t always know if what we love to do will be something we enjoy doing full-time. It takes experience, yes, but also honesty. Do you love your hobby so much that you wouldn’t mind regularly dealing with the business's complex, tedious, boring parts?

If you want to turn your hobby into a business, it will become work.

Drawing comics full-time has been a goal of mine since I was a kid. Even though I know it’s one of the most challenging forms of art to make good money in, I still go after it. I’ve had to take on other jobs to pay the bills when comics weren’t bringing in enough, and most of the time, comics would become my side-hustle.

Becoming a professional at anything means learning to work even when you’re not in the mood.

I learned to do that by making comics and pushing through the “resistance” in my head when it would try and hold me back from not only getting art done but taking care of more administrative tasks.

Now, I know I can be a professional comic artist because I like the day-to-day work involved. I haven’t reached my full-time goal yet, but I’ve had years of freelance experience to get a good idea of what it would feel like.

When you put your hobby to the test, by intentionally treating it like a business, you’ll be able to feel whether or not it’s something you could do as your job.

I get it. You might need a side-hustle right now. It could be that a side income is vital to save money or pay for outstanding bills. Does your hobby have to be the way you make that money, though?

There’s nothing wrong with getting a part-time job in retail or driving for Lyft for a certain amount of time — think seasonal work — to save up enough for you to get back into a good place.

Do anything you can to keep your hobby as an outlet and a source of release.

3. Should you monetize your obsession?

People can get way too into their hobbies. Like collecting memorabilia or toys, for example. Nothing wrong with those hobbies, but I’ve seen friends lose their minds over a piece of plastic. If you’re obsessed with a hobby, can you think straight enough to make it a business?

Will you identify all of yourself as that hobby if you make it a business and carry unrealistic expectations on your shoulders? For example, “I’m a writer now, so I must write every day for five hours, or I’m a failure.”

Sometimes we love a hobby so much; it becomes an obsession. If you can’t stop painting portraits of politicians to make a statement, and no one can give you feedback or suggestions on how to grow because you refuse to listen. Maybe this shouldn’t be your business.

You need to be open to pivot and take on new ideas when things aren’t succeeding for a business to work. If you can only do things your way because this hobby is everything to you, it should probably stay a hobby.

“Whatever you like to do, make it a hobby and whatever the world likes to do, make it a business.”
-Warren Buffett

4. Be selfish when it comes to your hobby

Keep something just for you. You don’t even need to share what you make or create with anyone. Let your hobby remain an outlet for life’s frustrations and hide it for yourself. If you need to share it with someone who has more experience and gives you feedback, great.

I bet there are plenty of creative people who work professionally and never show it to anyone. That way, it’s for themselves. Or, they keep it for their family and friends. If one of those people wants to buy from them or support the work, they can.

A few years ago, I was learning to play the ukulele. I wanted to do it for fun with no expectations of performing live in front of strangers. It would be a relaxing hobby I didn't need to press myself to do professionally, like drawing comics.

I spent about two years practicing chords and learning songs on the uke. Having a hobby only for the fun of it was terrific. The only problem, music takes a regular committed effort to improve. Balancing work, drawing comics, and being a family man proved to be too much.

It hurt, but I had to stop playing the ukulele. I went from practicing every day to a few days a week, to only once a month. All of my time went into improving as an artist and not a musician.

Facing the hard truth—I didn’t have time for a musical hobby—was tough to face. But, I accepted it and put down the uke. Who knows, I hope to have time to get back to playing it again in the future when I have more time for myself.

Drawing in my sketchbook is purely for fun now. I don’t have to share my scribbles with anyone if I don't want to, and the practice makes me a better artist for the comics I share with the public. Hobbies can have a private and a public side if it helps keep you growing and feeling balanced.

In conclusion

All hobbies are not good businesses. Just about anything can be made into one, but you have to be honest with yourself about what you can handle.

Find a nice balance of interest in the subject matter, love of the creation process, and detachment from the perfection of the final result.

When you can look at your work objectively, share it with others, take criticism, make changes, and still enjoy what you’re doing. It might be the proper pursuit for you.

Try and keep these points in mind when deciding if your hobby should become a side-hustle:

• Hobbies should be for fun. If yours is mainly for fun and a way to relax and unwind, don’t make it a side-hustle.

• Making your hobby into a business turns it into work. Are you ready to deal with the not-so-fun parts of running a company connected to what you love?

• Don’t try and make money from your obsession. If you can’t even think straight while doing what you love because you’re so engrossed by it, maybe it should stay a hobby. It would be best if you could be objective about your work to grow it as a business.

• Keep your hobby to yourself if you choose. You don’t have to share it with anybody. Remember, I didn’t play the ukulele for people I didn’t know. It was my private hobby. One I’m looking forward to getting back to soon.

Make time for your hobbies in your leisure time to stay balanced and recharge. Let your interests become your job or side-hustle when you need one.

That way, you can enjoy what you do for a living and still have energy for your passions.

Struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly? Join my (free) email list and discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

First, They Call You a Fool, Then They Call You Brilliant

Illustrated by the author.

Taking risks that make sense to you may look crazy to others.

Two years ago, I quit my secure art teaching job for a position as a copywriter at a large medical device company. In the middle of the school year, no less—not a wise move in education.

Most teachers wait to leave until June, when they’ve completed a full school year. A great idea if you’re moving to another teaching job. Unfortunately, the corporate world isn’t on the same schedule.

I was scared about what this might do to my teaching career but ready to tackle a new challenge in a different profession.

I worked as a freelance copywriter for more than two years while teaching full-time and was ready to transition into writing more and teaching less. Leaving education at the mid-point of the year wasn’t ideal, but I knew this opportunity would be a good one.

This doesn’t sound too crazy you might think.

I didn’t mention yet, the new copywriter job was a temporary contract position for three months with only a possibility for extension. I was taking a huge risk.

Some people called me a fool. Others, were openly encouraging, but I bet were thinking to themselves I must have lost my mind.

What if I sucked, and they didn’t extend my contract past three months? Working as a contractor can turn into a permanent position, though. They might love the work I do for them and hire me on. Would I be able to get a job in education again if this position didn’t work out?

Even I felt a little crazy. Some days I was thinking, “What am I doing?” Inside, though, I had a feeling it would all work out.

You’re always a fool until you’re brilliant

I follow matchmaker and business columnist Paul Carrick Brunson on LinkedIn and he posted this video talking about his experience with being called a fool for taking risks in his personal life and career. Until he became a success and everyone switched and starting calling him brilliant.

He invested his wife’s savings in his matchmaker business. They called him a fool. He pulled his kids out of school to homeschool them. Foolish, they said.

According to Paul, he was called a fool for fifteen years before it all changed. Now, he’s interviewed regularly on television and people are incredibly impressed with his advice and the success he’s accomplished in his business.

The thing is, this praise only started in the past five years. The first fifteen, he was called a fool. If Paul had given up and listened to the naysayers, he wouldn’t have made it past “fool” status to “brilliant” where he is now.

Have the courage to follow your inner guidance

You not only need the confidence to stick with what you know is right, but the patience to reap the benefits. We all want success to happen right away but good things take time.

Paul Carrick Brunson has been at it for twenty years. I was teaching for seventeen before moving into a corporate position. Having years of knowledge and experience can help you move out or back into a career when needed.

I’d love to tell you I’m still working the copywriting job at the tech company but when the pandemic hit, a hiring freeze ruined my chances of staying on. They did extend my original three month contract three more months. Then, added on another six months.

The medical device industry is difficult to write creatively in because of all the medical and legal regulations. You have to be very careful with the words you use and make sure to back up any promises or claims.

I was frustrated and wanted to leave after a year but something funny happened. The writing and business started making sense to me. I was getting good.

Fortunately, they extended my contract another six months. Unfortunately, the hiring freeze brought on by the fear and uncertainty of the pandemic lockdown meant I wouldn’t get a permanent position. They could only keep me for eighteen months in total, so I knew my time was running out.

I didn’t regret my decision to risk working as a contractor, though. My goal was to gain corporate experience at a tech company as a writer. My writing improved, I met amazing people, and learned a great deal.

Maybe it wasn’t the secure choice, but it was worth it.

Take the “calculated crazy” risk when you can

You know what you need to do to live the life you want. I bet it’s the opinion of others that’s slowing you down or making you feel like you’re crazy.

Ignore them. One thing I’ve learned over years of taking risks that looked kooky to others at the time but ended up working out in the end is, people will give you props and respect when you succeed.

As long as you have a plan and can see how where you’re going can provide new skills to help you become who you want to be, you’re golden.

People might not have understood your vision or goals at first, but when it all comes together, suddenly, you’re looked at as intelligent and resourceful.

Fine. Accept the kind words and don’t get upset with the fact that it took the time and effort it did. Stay in the game long enough to take risks where you win or lose, and keep going until you build something you’re proud of and garners respect.

One thing is true, the majority of people are afraid to go against what’s safe and secure.

Nothing is secure.

Even though taking calculated risks may look ridiculous to the average person. You don’t have to be an average person.

Don’t listen to the noise

My final point is one Paul Carrick Brunson pointed out in his video message. Don’t listen to the noise. Your friends and family care about you and mainly want the best, but they don’t understand your path.

You know what you have to do. They might not see it but that doesn’t mean they’re right. They care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt. Give thanks for them and ignore their negativity and fear. Do what you have to do.

As long as it’s well-thought-out and doesn’t harm anyone in the process, go for it. You can always make another decision later if it doesn’t go the way you hoped.

If only this type of confidence were easy. It’s not. To make it through, you may have to:

• Deal with feeling your heart pounding in fear in the beginning of your journey at the same time you’re holding your head up high to appear sure of yourself.

• Listen to other people’s negative comments about your choices while thinking of the reasons why you’re going about it this way so you stay confident.

• Remember, when times get tough, success is a marathon, not a sprint. It will all feel slow when you’re in the thick of it, but when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will all be rewarding.

I’m back teaching art again. My connections from previous schools helped me get a job in education after losing my copywriter position.

At first, I felt like a failure for only moving out of teaching for a year and a half and then having to go back. Then, I saw how what I learned transferred over to education. In fact, I was able to add communications onto my responsibilities by writing blogs and posting to social media for my school along with teaching art.

If I ever want to go back into copywriting in the future, I’ll always have the corporate experience I gained at the tech company to help.

Brilliant? You be the judge.

So far, it’s working well for me.

If You Could Get Married in a Pub in The Middle Ages, Why Expect so Much From Relationships Today?

Your spouse cannot, and should not, be your everything

People in medieval Europe just wanted to get it on. Or, they just wanted arranged marriages to make money for their families.

Marriage was about sex or status back in the middle ages.

We expect so much more from it now, which is lovely in some ways but can be damaging.

With the church having a great deal of power in medieval Europe, as a Christian, the only way to make sweet love to your partner without burning in hell was to marry them.

Fortunately, for couples back then, the rules were pretty loose.

The only requirement for a binding marriage was the consent of the two people involved—no need to ask your family or bring in a priest. You could get married just about anywhere at any time. Forget about witnesses. You didn’t need them.

Wanna get married at your buddy’s house down the street? At the local pub? How about in bed? Sure! No problem.

You got married so you could make love whenever you wanted and take care of each other. Plenty of relationships were arranged, sometimes before the couple even meets each other, to help the families gain status or money.

Having concerns about falling in love or fulfillment wasn’t the main focus. I believe in love, but I also feel we’re taking our ideas of what marriage can do for us too far.

We expect far too much from marriage

Discovering this enlightening bit of history made me think about how much we expect from marriage today. I believe in taking it seriously and honoring its sanctity. Still, I bet people would enjoy the bonds of marriage more with a little less weight stacked on top.

I’ve been married for over fifteen years to my amazing wife, and even though we’ve been through ups and downs, I’m glad we’ve stayed together. We both choose every day to make the relationship better or work together on issues that need improvement.

My wife and I view marriage this way because we both had divorced parents when we were kids. I think it forces us to look at our relationship every day and ask, “Is this worth breaking up over?”

We know how it feels not to have both parents together, so we constantly check ourselves over what’s most important.

Unlike in medieval times, we are blessed with so much because life is much easier now. We think marriage should fulfill us physically and spiritually. Our partners should be our everything. Having children should be a magnificent blessing that improves our lives tenfold.

Many people think uniting with another should wash away their pain and make life easier.

Until we actually do all of these things and realize that married life with children is complicated and stressful. Heck, I have only one child, and everything is crazy. Imagining raising multiple kids fills me with anxiety.

Yes, family life is more fulfilling, and you can have a great deal of fun if you work together as partners, but life is not easier. In a lot of ways, it’s more complicated.

The only way to end a marriage in the middle ages was to prove it never existed. All the experiences, time, and effort you put into building something together with someone — erased.

I know people still do this today by getting an annulment. Still, the fact that we have more choices now can make you think about what you plan to get from vowing to stay true to only one other person for life.

Are your expectations even realistic?

Lower your expectations and become flexible

Maybe you desire certain things from your partner because you watched your parents growing up doing or trying to be that for each other. Does that mean it’s okay?

Have you decided love means your wife makes dinner for you every night or your husband must make a certain amount of money?

Marriage can look the way you both decide. Try lowering your expectations brought on by childhood and talk about what your actual needs are. This might not look like a traditional marriage. Your parents might disagree, but if how you live together is safe and works for you, go for it.

If you’re unhappy with how much your partner is giving to you, try cutting in half what you expect from them. Decide what’s most vital for you to feel loved, and ask your partner for more of those one or two aspects.

Your spouse cannot, and should not, be your everything.

Do you think married couples in the middle ages were concerned their partner isn’t there emotionally for them twenty-four hours a day?

They were too busy trying to survive. Life now may feel much more manageable than back then, but the truth is, we’re all still trying to survive. In nicer homes with more comfort — but it’s survival nonetheless.

Giving your marriage all you’ve got but at the same time relaxing your expectations is challenging but possible. Most relationship issues can be worked out by being open with your partner and having uncomfortable yet honest conversations.

An exception will be if you’re with someone physically or verbally abusing you. That is a reason to leave. No one should keep trying to keep a relationship alive with someone who treats them like trash.

Of course, sometimes a marriage should end. I get it. I’ve had relationships back when I was dating, where we parted for various reasons. Breakups are hard. I believe most bad marriages can survive, though.

Let’s say you both want drastically different things out of life, and you’re moving in different directions. I can see that pulling a marriage apart.

Being open with each other about your needs and where you’d like to go in life makes it easier to figure things out. I bet you could work something out if you’re both committed to being flexible.

You could decide to follow and support your partner as they pursue their needs for a set number of years, and then you get a chance next, and then they help you. This means you’ll have to slow down what you’re pursuing for a time, but when your spouse moves forward, you’re there with them, knowing you helped along the way. Then, it’s your turn to push ahead.

When you take the commitment aspect of marriage seriously but keep an open mind about how it should look and feel depending on your needs, you’ll make better decisions.

Married life may be more complicated today compared to the middle ages. But with more freedom and choices in our society, we have to choose to take full responsibility.

Get better at choosing what marriage will look like together with your partner, and you’ll be centuries ahead of the crowd

4 Signs You’re an Unapologetic Introvert

Illustrated by the author.

Who won’t let extroverts get in your way

Do you have what it takes to be introverted and still succeed?

Our society places a load of respect on extroverts and the importance of breaking out of your shell. But is being a social butterfly really the height of human existence?

If you’re the type of person who wants to hide away from it all and spend your time working on projects, it’s viewed as a negative that can often hurt introverts.

I’m an introvert, trained to be more social and extroverted because I thought it would help me succeed. Now, I’m discovering I don’t need to put myself out there as much as I once thought.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re weak.

I’m sure there are introverts with more confidence than me. Living extraordinary lives — working behind the scenes and staying comfortable in the shadows — being who they are meant to be.

And not apologizing for it at all.

I believe the idea of whether or not you’re extroverted or introverted is a relatively new concept in our society. So when I asked my parents which one they are, they were surprised by this distinction, and I had to explain the differences to help them pick.

An extrovert is outwardly focused and not only enjoys socializing with others but gets energized by attending significant events and parties. Spending a great deal of time in groups and talking with someone else brings them to life. They need the time together with people to fill up their tanks and to feel fulfilled.

On the flip side, an introvert is more inwardly focused and might enjoy social activities. Still, it gets their energy sucked out of them by spending too much time around others. It doesn’t mean they’re just shy. I actually love talking with friends and going to fun events. Still, I can only stay for a certain amount of time before I’m exhausted.

For an introvert like me, going home and having quiet time alone helps to recharge my batteries to feel like myself again. Relaxing with a good book or having a chance to be in my own head while writing or drawing feels like heaven.

Let’s decide right now to not let extroverts put us down.

This looks like a black and white type of issue, but it isn’t. The degree to which side you fall on varies. You could have a little more extroversion but love your time alone to think and process your experiences.

Wherever you may fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum, you should feel good about it. Some studies show introverts don’t need to behave like extroverts.

As introverts, we have what it takes to be successful in business and in life. But it just might look a little different.

Maybe even better.

Here are four signs of unapologetic introverts and how you can be more like them:

1. They stay quiet and keep their heads up

Being introverted is fantastic. Accepting that fact with confidence and pride is essential for success. But, of course, there’s nothing wrong with acting like an extrovert to properly introduce yourself to new people and engage in exciting conversations.

Still, it doesn’t mean you have to be outgoing at all times.

How to do it:

When you feel like leaving — for time alone to recharge — do it. Think about how vital it is for you to have time to yourself and figure out a thoughtful way to say, “Thanks, but I gotta go.” then escape.

No matter how tempting it is to try forcing yourself to speak up in meetings, for example, when you’d rather listen, go with what your gut tells you. You can say to yourself, “There’s power in silence.” to give you the confidence to stay quiet.

If you have something to say, share it, but don’t feel obligated.

2. They know what they want ahead of time

Unapologetic introverts think ahead and know how they’ll behave around others because they’re comfortable being themselves. They understand that sometimes they have to do extroverted activities and be more outgoing. Still, they can put a limit on how often.

Did you know, introverts excel at problem-solving, academics, regulating their behavior, and taking fewer risks that may cause harm compared to extroverts. In other words, they’re thinkers, and I would guess, planners.

Use this to your advantage.

How to do it:

Prepare for the situation you are about to enter and decide how you’ll handle things. Know what you want to receive and how you’d like to be perceived and be ready with responses based on your personal beliefs. This may be you deciding on boundaries of what you will and will not do or how someone will treat you.

Begin with the end in mind. Even picking work or a business that doesn’t require you to be around a large number of people for hours on end takes knowledge of self and forethought.

I like choosing to spend time talking with one good friend instead of several together at a large gathering. Studies have shown that the connection and meaning I and other introverts get from more intimate conversations helps bring them joy.

If you’re someone who values the individual person you’re with, the other person will sense they have your full attention and feel special.

3. They protect their solitude

Courageous introverts know when to say “No” and are not ashamed when they need time away. True solitude must be scheduled when you have a busy life and a load of responsibilities. Alone time and creative thinking breaks are like that precious pot of gold they guard with their life.

Come to think of it, they take time for fun, not just make time. Introverts do the work that makes money and the side hustle that is their passion but will make sure to spend quiet time on activities for sheer fun and enjoyment.

How to do it:

Taking away from other activities or chores for what brings you joy is a start. In addition, learning to manage your time better is a massive help and can free up more space for quiet reflection.

Add your solitude retreats to your calendar. Make them just as important as a meeting with a client. The more you see it on your list of to-dos for the day, the more you’ll take them seriously.

If someone tries to cut into your solitude time, tell them no, unless it’s an emergency, then add another solitude entry on your calendar right away.

4. They let others know what they need

What if someone doesn’t understand your decisions? No worries. Introverts worth their salt are not afraid to explain who they are when deemed necessary. After all, who else will look out for them?

The default behavior in society is extroversion, so if you’re moving in the other direction, let ’em know.

You can be direct and clear about what you need and why.

How to do it:

Share, openly and honestly, when you’re not comfortable doing something and let people know why. Then, the other person will see what you need and get to know you as an individual.

Suppose I need time to myself to draw, for example. In that case, it’s better to talk to my wife about possible times in the day where I can have a couple of hours to illustrate a comic strip.

She knows me well, but I can still tell her I’m feeling emotionally drained and need time to refill my creative spirit. That way, she gets that I’m not trying to run away from her, but the time is for helping me stay balanced.

When you’re an unapologetic introvert, you teach people how to treat you and show them who you are. Give them the reasons for your choices but add how they will benefit you and how not doing it could possibly hurt.

One example, if you’re uncomfortable with a crowded gathering, you have no problems saying, “No, thank you. That event will be overly stimulating for me and drain my energy.”

Naturally, there are times when you must put yourself out there for business or help family and friends. If the person cares for you, though, they’ll understand if you decline. But, on the other hand, if they don’t understand, well, you know that living authentically as an introvert means there’s no reason to apologize.

Final thoughts

Let’s value our quiet alone time more often and embrace solitary thinkers. Hiding from socializing doesn’t mean you’re weak. Instead, accept the power of being who you’re truly meant to be.

You don’t have to be the center of attention to gain respect. In fact, if you’re someone who listens and asks pointed questions well, people will admire your attention and care for them and the situation. Especially if it’s clear you don’t need to be in the spotlight.

You’re fine speaking only when necessary.

When you’re proud to be an introvert, you’ll discover your quiet confidence has value and will garner respect. So go forth, and be the introvert you were meant to be today.

Read This if You Feel You’re Too Old for Success

You’ll need more than just changing your mindset

Are we finally in a place where anyone of any age can succeed in their chosen profession? Even though I’m yearning to tell the story of how Colonel Sanders started Kentucky Fried Chicken when he was 65 years old, I’m going to hold myself back.

At this point in history, his story shouldn’t be all that astounding. It certainly was in the ’70s and 80s, but now, we should be more open to the fact that you’re never too old to go after your dreams.

Unless, of course, you want to play professional sports after 40. There are areas where physical strength and stamina matter, but on the whole, if you have your mind and a passion in your heart to pursue, age is just that, a number.

At least, now that I’m in my mid-forties, that’s what I think people should believe. I’m sick and tired of feeling down about aging. As a husband, parent, teacher, writer, and cartoonist, I see how much I’m capable of doing now, even though my life is crazy busy.

So much of life is about our mindset. The time is now to realize success over 40 is not only possible but pretty darn impressive.

Being young and successful is cool and all but let’s see you sustain that for 40 years

Why do people still feel it’s better to become a success when you’re young? What’s wrong with just having a goal of supporting yourself without needing help from your parents?

This idea that the most extraordinary success comes with youth is ridiculous. Let’s be real here, what have you done in your 20s that qualifies you to get more respect than someone in their 50s?

Gaining life experience and wisdom is honorable. Making a good life for yourself and keeping it up for decades is a skill not everyone can master. When you add factors like marriage, parenting, and surprise health issues, holding on to a successful career as you age takes a herculean effort.

Yes, when you’re young, you have the energy to work hard and move up in a company, the balls to take risks with a new business, and the nerve to ride on the coattails of successful friends to find success.

But can you sustain it?

The one thing young people can’t see is that you have to maintain that success for another thirty to forty years. Trends change, the needs of society shift. Are you flexible enough to move with the times and stay in demand?

Here are three tips I’ve found for helping sustain a long career.

• Find pleasure in the creative and business aspects of your profession.

• Stay open to new ideas, learning new skills, and growing as a person.

• Manage your stress, so you avoid burnout.

The trick will be to discover your unique techniques and ways of thinking to stay strong and balanced during the marathon of a long career.

Why are you letting age hold you back from pursuing your passion?

If you’re physically and mentally able, go for it. Don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t.

For many of us, life can get pretty busy in middle age. You can have more available time for doing what you love when you get older.

My aunt would always tell me there are different seasons of life — pay attention to where you are and do the best you can while there. We will have seasons where it’s all about our career, a season of raising children, or a season of healing from an illness.

Seasons come and go.

Take an honest look at where you are in life and be clear about what you can accomplish. If you’re in a season where you have more time to pursue a business or passion, but you think you’re past your prime, think again.

You may need to ease in and warm up to start something great. Doing small things towards your goals can build up momentum to a place where you feel like doing more, and then, BAM, your mindset changes.

Suddenly, you see that you still have what it takes to succeed. Not only that, but you’ve been through enough in life to know you’re tough enough to keep going.

“You can start late, look different, be uncertain, and still succeed.” — Misty Copeland

Who decides what age you can start something new? Especially in the era of the internet

“It’s just too late for me.” How many times have I heard people say that? People who remember a time before the internet. A time when getting attention for the work you do was so much harder.

The age of gatekeepers is disappearing. Someone at a company deciding whether your work is good enough or you’re relevant enough to be pushed out to the masses.

You choose when you’re ready and can share work with the world.

The internet is a place to promote what you do, but there’s one skill you must master to make it work for you.

Consistency.

Posting online now and then about your work isn’t going to attract eyeballs and new fans. You have to post, promote, and share your work at least one to three times per week on your chosen platforms.

Having the internet is magnificent, but if you’re not willing to put in the regular weekly effort of sharing work for viewers, readers, and potential customers to consume, nothing’s going to happen.

If you have a goal, you can’t shake, ignore your age, pursue it and see where it takes you

If you’re able to update your mindset to believe that success is possible at any age, you can make miracles happen.

Just remember these suggestions for success over 40.

• Cultivate an interest in all the work you do and find pleasure in aspects of the business that may be challenging.

• Keep an open mind so that you’re ready to learn new skills to keep up with the times.

• Manage your stress by finding ways to have fun and relax every day.

• Do little things, taking small steps every day to reach your goals.

• Post and promote your work online consistently to reap the benefits of the massive potential audience the internet provides.

Understand that, even though you may feel old or society tries to tell you there’s very little time left to succeed in your passions, you can still play the long game.

Change your outlook and your attitude and start taking steps towards more success, no matter your age.

One Concept a Teacher in Art School Gave Me That Changed My Life

And could help you reach your goals.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Walking into the art studio with my finished clay project in hand, I knew it was the best work I’d done in a long time. With other classes and homework to complete that week, I didn’t put much time into this one. Still, I was sure its creativity and energy would impress my professor.

Compared with sculptures from other students in class that day, I could tell theirs looked technically better. Mine had all the vitality, though!

I might have finished it quickly, but it was eye-catching.

The professor was surely going to give me a high grade and plenty of praise. Maybe even talk about how good it is to the rest of the class.

Little did I know, I was about to learn a lesson that would stick with me for the rest of my life.

When the teacher entered and started walking around the class, checking in with each student, I was hoping she would get to me last. I wanted her to be amazed by my brilliance after looking at the others.

I could see her face as she spotted my sculpture, my powerful piece of a man in a running pose with a loose shirt moving in the wind. Her head cocked to the side as she slowly approached my table. After pausing for a brief moment, she said, “The pose is dynamic, with a nice solid structure, but make sure to put more time and effort into your craftsmanship.”

Hold on a second. What kind of praise was that?

She liked it but wanted me to spend more time on details and making it look finished; she continued telling me further to make it a better quality final product. She was basically calling it energetic rubbish.

The professor used this opportunity to turn to the class and discuss the importance of craftsmanship. Right in front of my art — clearly, the example of what not to do.

I learned the importance, that day, of putting more effort into the finished product and calming my ego.

I thought all of the energy in my work would speak for itself. I didn’t understand how evident a lack of good craftsmanship can be in what you create. Needless to say, I was embarrassed and humbled.

Craftsmanship.

This word is one I would hear many times over my art education. The importance of craftsmanship and how that separates the novice from the professional.

Paying attention to details and putting in the time to create a quality piece of art was drilled into me after that. Fortunately, I learned to organize my time and put in the work.

Other than art, I believe we can use this concept to help improve our lives.

How to craft a life you love

After twenty years of creative life both here and abroad, I’ve found living with intention instead of haphazardly here and there helps bring what you desire.

Here’s a simple way to look at crafting your life.

Craftsmanship for success

Anytime life kicks you in the rear, or you feel you’re not going in the right direction, remember to put these three points into action.

1. Taking time to plan out goals in detail by writing them down and reading them daily

Put down all the possible ways these goals could be achieved and think about what connects them. Like creating a piece of art, you’re building the sketch or rough draft of your final product, working out the kinks, and developing a vision. Reading them to yourself as if you already have them, in the present, is like magic for attracting your desires.

2. Taking calculated risks instead of running from them

There’s no way around it. You must take risks if you want to succeed. Keeping them thoughtful and careful should be a part of your detailed goals. Even if you’re afraid, you will need to step out into the unknown at some point.

3. Taking time sculpting the life you want by consistently doing the work

Moving forward with consistent action will help your skills grow and give you more chances for luck. It might take more time filled with regular, daily work than you think, but you will reach success if you’re putting in the time regularly to produce.

Even when you’ve reached your goal, you should continue forward. There is no finish line. The work, the skills you learn, and the positive influence you have on others are how you measure success. If I can learn to put more effort into crafting a beautiful piece of art and apply it to my life, you can take a similar approach.

A successful life is an art, so start sculpting yours today.

7 Incredibly Easy Morning Routine Ideas

There’s so much more than just getting up early

“Morning routines sound good, but they’re too hard for me,” is what a lot of people say. What can you do to make them more comfortable and fit into your busy life? I’ll share seven ideas to add to your morning routine, but I want you to know this, you don’t have to do them all. You can make morning routines easier.

Adding even one from the list can make a huge difference in how you feel and approach your day. If you can do all of them, excellent. Just one or two? Awesome!

The benefits of getting your mind and body focused in the morning include helping to put you in the right frame of mind for your day, increasing productivity, and boosting your energy levels.

Maybe you’ve heard, or even read, the book “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod. Out of all the articles I read on this topic, his book inspired me to make the most of the early hours. It helped me understand that a morning routine can be what you decide works best for your life and individual needs. It’s not an all-or-nothing practice where there are no benefits if you don’t do all the 127 things on your list.

I like the idea of flexibility, picking what you enjoy doing each morning and letting it be okay If you can’t do it all, for whatever reason.

We don’t have to deal with absolutes. Just because someone like well-known productivity master Elon Musk wakes up at 7 am every day and religiously checks his “critical emails” first thing doesn’t mean you have to do exactly the same.

Oprah is not an early riser — getting up around 8 am is natural for her — and then walking her dogs for fresh air and exercise to get her blood pumping. Pretty simple yet powerful.

Take a look at these possible morning activities and pick one or more that you can add to your routine each morning.

1. Getting up early

People love to debate the perfect time to get up early. Is it 4 am? 5? My advice is to work on getting up one hour earlier than you normally do, even if that takes away from your 8 hours of sleep. In my opinion, the 8 hours rule is overrated. Getting 6–8 hours is fine, then drink caffeine to get you going.

I put this as #1 because rising earlier gives you more time to do the things on your morning routine list and even creates time for doing things you love like reading or writing. More time in the morning is like the gift that keeps on giving.

I get up at 4:30 am to draw comics and write Medium articles. Throughout the day, thinking about all I was able to do in the morning, helps me feel energized — like a natural high.

2. Drinking water with lemon

Making sure to drink a tall glass of water when you first wake up is essential for hydration but squeezing in a slice of lemon brings it up a notch. Dropping the lemon slice into the water after the squeeze not only adds more flavor, you take in all that vitamin C and reap the benefits it provides for healthy skin and body.

Lemon in your water can help with weight loss as well. Research shows polyphenol antioxidants found in lemons substantially reduce weight gain in overfed mice. Yes, on mice, not humans, but the antioxidant compounds also offset the adverse effects on their blood glucose levels and improved insulin resistance. Not too shabby for sour fruit.

3. Appreciating what you have

One way to combat sadness and depression is by thinking about what you have and feeling grateful. Gratitude is an effective way of appreciating how lucky you are to be alive and paying attention to all you did to get where you are now.

Depending on your situation, you may be having such a challenging time in life right now that you have to go to the basics like giving thanks for sleeping well and waking up to a fresh new day. My gratitude thinking involves paying attention to how I feel inside when I think about what I have. This awareness connects with the next activity on the list…

4. Practicing mindfulness

Simply paying attention to how you feel and what you’re thinking can work wonders. Sitting quietly and taking deep breaths as you quiet your mind. This could mean ten to twenty minutes of meditation or sitting and paying attention to any fears or concerns you’re having about your day. Even reading books on spirituality can make you stop and put more awareness on right now.

Reading philosophy excerpts on stoicism, I keep a few books on my desk for easy access, which helps me get in a place to notice the present. How I choose to think dictates my life and well-being. If you don’t have much time, pay attention to how your body moves and how you feel as you get ready in the morning.

I love the idea of “Looking at your hands” as a way to notice what you’re doing and appreciating what you’re able to do. I’ll often take a second and note to myself, “My hands are typing right now.” or “I’m cooking dinner for my family.” The mix of gratitude and mindfulness this creates will help you take a deep breath and feel centered.

5. Moving your body

Giving yourself time for physical exercise or movement in the morning is magical for your thinking and physical energy. Any time, from a few minutes of stretching to thirty minutes of walking or yoga, will do wonders for your mindset.

I love doing yoga poses and taking walks. Suppose I can combine a short run with the walk, even better. I finish feeling awake, alert, and optimistic about what lies ahead.

6. Doing strength exercises

Doing strength exercises like push-ups or pull-ups or weight training, if you have a set up in your home, takes a lot of motivation to do in the morning. If you can get even a few minutes of resistance or muscle-building exercises in, though, you’ll feel stronger and more confident in just about all areas of your day.

I enjoy doing push-ups, and I tend to be off-and-on with pull-ups. They can make my wrists hurt, which makes it harder for me to enjoy drawing. That’s an excuse. I’m well aware because pull-ups are so hard for me. This makes me want to avoid them. Because of this, though, when I do pull-ups, I feel stronger for overcoming my fears.

Fit what you can in, and our last tip will bring it all together.

7. Saying what you want like you already have it

Affirmations are a classic morning ritual that many people feel can be a bit cheesy. I would say no morning routine is complete without a little personal positive encouragement.

You could do the standing in the mirror looking at yourself and loudly proclaiming, “I’m a success!” approach or choose to say positive affirmations to yourself in your head.

Unfortunately, I tend to think of the negatives about myself first. One thing that helps is re-framing my thinking. So, as soon as I think of something negatively, I switch it to a positive and say it as if it already exists. Instead of “I only have a few freelance writing gigs,” I’ll change it to, “I have so many writing gigs, I have to turn some down.” Whatever the subject matter, make sure to say affirmations in the present tense and feel as if you achieved them or have them right now.

You can do all of these if you have time in the morning. If not, do what you can. If you’re unsure which ones will stick or how many are right, try adding one new activity each week until you reach your desired number. You can scale back or adjust anytime you need.

Mornings are full of hope, and when you rise, your mind is open, well-rested, and ready for the new day. Give yourself the mental and physical boost to conquer each day with confidence and success. Choose your combination, even if your routine is different every day, and make it happen.

Overwhelmed Dad Prays for One Minute Alone

Photo by Jaclyn Moy on Unsplash

Dear God,

I know the world is going through a tough time right now, with the pandemic and everything, but I’m desperate for more time alone. Not alone forever, I enjoy being with my wife and two out-of-control kids, some of the time. Maybe an hour a day would be helpful? A few hours or even one week would be ideal. Magical even. I may be losing my mind, so a little solitude would help get me back on track. 

There’s just no time to breathe or even think. To find time to get on my knees and talk to you means I’m on the floor in the bathroom right now, after crying in the shower. You see, I’m what they call an introvert. Too much social time with others drains me. I need time alone to recharge. Now that I can’t escape to the office and my wife never goes anywhere anymore, I’m drowning in needy family members and bickering children. When do I get a break?

That’s where you come in, God. I could use a miracle—the parting of the red sea kind. It’s been a hectic year of forced homeschooling for my two elementary school-aged kids. They could care less about distance learning or Zoom classes. They just want to watch YouTube, play video games, and eat candy. I don’t blame them. The schools expect my little children to get work done and make my wife and me, both working from home, keep them on task. Do you think they’re getting work done?

Hell, no! 

Sorry, Lord. I meant, heck no. When I try to get them to complete their assignments, they run away from me screaming. All while I’m on a meeting with a stakeholder and making PB&J sandwiches so they won’t be “hangry.” 

I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t even breathe well at night. When I try to sleep, I’m hyperventilating and doing my best to calm down—thinking about relaxing on some beach somewhere alone. 

Alone. It sounds like such a romantic word now. No one asking me for anything or talking non-stop about some ridiculous animated TV show. Just peace and quiet. Doing what I want when I want. Not for forever, for just a little while. A few weeks, maybe?

My wife keeps telling me we can’t afford for one of us to quit our jobs and take care of everything at home, but I wonder. Is my sanity worth the salary I make? We have other friends whose wives have quit and have become at-home co-teachers for their children. Everything looks more manageable for them. It probably isn’t. 

I don’t know of any Dads doing it. Should I be the first? Of course, that won’t get me the solitude I’m craving. I’ll have to take care of my kid’s schooling every minute of the day. I’m having trouble breathing just thinking about it. 

What’s that you say? Take a sabbatical, God? Is that the answer? A few months off from work. I would need to go somewhere else for it to be effective, though. Rent an AirBnB and live alone for six months. Just reading, catching up on all the shows I’ve missed, and taking time to meditate. Paradise! 

No, you’re right. That’s selfish. Don’t I deserve a whole year to myself? I would miss my family, but eventually, isn’t it ok if they know I’m coming back? I could visit them on the weekends. Wait, this sounds like a trial separation. No, thanks. 

I’d better stick it out. It’s better to be a man and endure even if it costs me my sanity. 

Thanks for listening, Lord. I know you’ve given me the strength to withstand anything. Even drowning in responsibilities with no acceptable way out. I can do this. Who cares that I’m hearing voices in my head and feeling dizzy from vertigo every evening.   

This will all be over soon, right?

Right?

To Create, or Not to Create, While in Quarantine

That is the questions. Here’s the answer.

Illustration by Khalid Birdsong

Waking up at the crack of dawn to draw and write is no easy task, but I’ve grown accustomed to it. Today, on the other hand, I couldn’t help but feel the pull of the bed calling me back.

This is normal in regular times but much more powerful recently. Is it smarter to push through and get work done during these stressful times or give your body the extra rest it needs?

I chose to stay up and fumbled around, getting my coffee made. Doing marketing tasks like scheduling future social media posts, and writing possible gags for new comic strips — nothing all that heavy. When I start this way, it usually leads to turning my engine on and getting deeper into a creative drive. Where I’m eventually motivated to make more focused work like drawing or writing articles.

Perhaps you’re like me. Sandwiched between your desire to rest more and the awareness of all you could achieve during this forced-flexible time at home due to quarantine.

The two opposing questions floating around in my head always — Why not use this time to get more done? On the other hand — Why should I force myself to do anything during such a major pandemic?

The world needs your art during this time. Your perspective, voice, and experiences can help others. It’s incredibly important for you to find a way to put your work out there.

Here’s what I think is going on and what I discovered we can do to move forward towards our artistic goals.

Stop feeling guilty

Reading articles about famous people in the past, like Isaac Newton, who discovered the theory of relativity during a quarantine. Or, was that Einstein? Didn’t Shakespeare write a famous play while sheltering at home? I bet someone wrote a brilliant piece of classical music while forced to hide away from a plague. Something like that. I think all the motivational articles are getting jumbled up in my head.

The point is, they make you feel like this time of quarantine is not for letting it all go and slowing down, but for working harder. For creating something brand new and absolutely fantastic.

You start feeling concerned about yourself and, yes, guilty. Why can’t I make something earth-changing during this time? There are more opportunities to focus on smaller projects. Isn’t this what people will expect of a creative person?

There’s only one truth to accept.

Creatives get overwhelmed, frightened, and exhausted by world events, just like “normal” humans. We’re not above or beyond it only because we can escape to other places in our minds.

There are times when we make stuff with ease and times when we need to just sit and stare out into space to process it all. With nothing but a clean slate of negative thoughts in our heads and swirling mixed emotions in our hearts.

I want to have the freedom to work when my creative energy is turned on, but I’m afraid that if I get out of a routine, I’ll just stop and not make anything anymore. My momentum will hit a wall and seep into the gutter.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I recognize this is what’s going on, I change how much I expect to get done. If you’re feeling this same guilt and overwhelm, schedule time to work but limit it. Instead of an hour, work for thirty-minutes.

There’s nothing wrong with cutting back.

Go ahead and be exhausted

Taking life a day at a time is something I need to improve on. I’ve seen more than ever how good days can be full of powerful, productive energy, and others are a slow drag to even begin.

This past weekend I was completely out of it. I felt like strings were attached to my limbs, and someone was pulling down on them, making it hard for me to move. Heavy body and mind issues plus plenty of chores to take care of around the house, forced me to make an important decision.

I needed to “do” less and let some things go. I’m just too tired.

Feeling exhausted right now is ok. It’s more than ok. You should expect it and give yourself some time off.

The only way to have productive days right now is to give yourself “processing time” to recharge on those tired, emotionally exhausting days.

Give yourself time to ease in

The struggle to produce content just happened to me today. This morning, in fact. What you’re reading is a result of gradually working my way to writing this article.

If you know that starting off not wanting to work but doing small things to help you transform into a “focused flow state productive mind,” is possible, you can have more confidence in the process.

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Celebrate your wins

You should definitely create your writing, art, and music while in quarantine. Take a hybrid approach by dedicating yourself to both your mental health through regular periods of rest and your need to create with longer than typical stretches of scheduled work times. This way, you know you have the time to gradually get into the groove.

“Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.” ~Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Even if it seems like you only completed a few tasks, celebrate them. I had to tell myself, “Good Job!” today for getting something done, even though I was totally not in the mood at first. We could always do more.

Make good friends with patience and invite understanding into the mix. I know you will keep the creative momentum going and succeed in artistically expressing yourself.

Even while trapped inside this box, we call quarantine.

Meditation is amazing but, what if you hate being with yourself? 3 powerful ways to tolerate time alone with your thoughts

Life can be stressful. People say, “Make time to meditate. Quiet your mind, and it will melt all your worries away.” That’s nice and all but, what if you can’t stand being with yourself?

I’m serious, what if you feel like a jerk inside and want nothing to do with that person?

Let’s say you sit down, in that awkwardly uncomfortable folded legs position—lotus I think it’s called—puff your chest out and close your eyes. Your annoying mind keeps yelling at you.

Not even about important topics. Just dumb stuff, like what to eat for breakfast and which podcast you’ll listen to on the way to work.

Annoying.

You’ve heard some of those benefits of meditation; a focused mind, inner peace, and more patience to approach the challenges of daily life. It’s estimated that stress is the cause of 90% of doctor visits. That is insane.

We all definitely need more time for mindfulness in our lives. How can you shut off the mouthy jerk inside your head and focus on that sought after quiet? 

1. Accept that your emotions want all of your attention and will try and distract you while you meditate.

This is normal. You’re not doing it wrong.  

Let yourself be who and what you are at that moment. Be present. Even if all the mess in your head is driving you nuts. 

Make peace with the anxious, emotional, and overly fearful part of yourself. It only wants to be heard, felt, and acknowledged.

2. Make those emotions stronger

If you have a lot on your mind, sit there and listen to yourself. If you notice strong feelings, pay attention to them. In fact, amplify them and make the emotions stronger. 

Give each emotion and thought inside your head some of your time, notice where in your body the feelings are, and they will gradually dissolve away. 

You’ll see that by sitting with your annoying voices and negative emotions and giving them your full attention, it will help you release and move on to the more positive ones.

When I started meditating regularly several years ago, this was tough for me.

I knew that I was never going to get rid of feeling crappy sometimes. Having the courage to sit with the mess of my thoughts was no easy task and I’m still no expert. 

I have found, though, that giving all of those thoughts and their emotions, time in the spotlight then shining several other lights directly on them, helps them to disappear. 

Meditating is generally pretty simple. Sit in a comfortable position with your legs folded, or on a chair with your hands in your lap. Breathe slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus on your breath. 

When the thoughts start flooding in, treat them like that annoying coworker you barely know, who likes coming up and telling you all of their problems. You smile politely and nod, give them their time, until they finish and go away. 

Know that you don’t have to be in total control. Even though it’s hard to let go and tune in, do your best to stay present.

3. Meditate for at least ten minutes 

There’s something magical about getting to the ten-minute mark.  

Give yourself time to move through emotions and reach calm. I’ve read that twenty-minutes of meditation is ideal, but I know for me, reaching ten minutes is where I begin to melt into the moment.

You’ll find those annoying voices will dissipate, and it will be easier to be in a state of tranquility.

You will begin to focus on the moment. You will find yourself. The true self that is always there but buried under all that mess.

Believe me, you’ll like how the “true you” feels. You want to make sure to meet.

What if you can’t spend 20-30 minutes meditating most days? Don’t worry about it. 

If you can only do ten minutes, that’s what you do. Paying attention to yourself is the key.

Scheduling meditation time—making it a routine—is what keeps me on track. Every morning, it’s one of the first things I do.   

I have grown to like my inner thoughts more, and I believe you can too. 

When you go out and face the world, you will notice how much easier it will be to pay attention to one task at a time. You will feel less rushed. Anxiety will take a backseat, and you’ll gain more confidence and acceptance with the process of your regular daily life. 

Do your best to sit in meditation for ten minutes every day. Experience all of your emotions fully. 

Over time, you will understand and love yourself more, and the magic within each day will transform your life.