Meditating at a Mountain Temple in Japan

What you can learn from my adventure of mindfulness

All photos were taken by or illustrated by the author.

I like knowing I’m doing the right thing. Who doesn’t?

Making sure to meditate every morning is something I think I’m doing right, but I’m probably wrong. Accepting your biases and thinking your point of view may not be accurate is something I’m working on improving.

I can say, sitting in silence for 10–20 minutes first thing in the morning helps me face my emotions head-on. When it’s time to write or draw, it’s easier for me to plug into my creativity and get going.

There must be something to it.

I just recently returned from a phenomenal trip to Koyasan, a town on top of a mountain full of ancient Buddhist temples in the Kansai region of Japan. I’ve wanted to go for many years. Visiting my in-laws in Osaka allowed me to finally get close enough to make the overnight expedition happen.

Even if you’re not a practicing Buddhist, you can pray in the temples, as long as you throw a few coins in the donation bin before clapping your hands twice and bowing.

Getting up to the temples is no joke.

You can only take a cable car straight up the mountain. Beautiful views, but you definitely feel far removed from the regular world below.

I believe Kobo Daishi, the monk who established the town over a thousand years ago, meant it as a place for zen training and meditation. You can tell by the calmness all around the area.

Many of the original temples were burned down during wars or due to lightning strikes but rebuilt multiple times over the years and are gorgeous.

The temple we meditated in during our visit. The doors were open, but no pictures were allowed inside.

This is the temple next to the ryokan (Japanese traditional style hotel) we stayed in during our visit. The doors are closed now, but they were open for us to have an enjoyable meditation class inside in the morning.

You’re not allowed to take photos of the interior but believe me, the decorations were ornate and beautiful. We had two monks sharing how to pray and meditate.

I remember them mentioning sitting with your legs crossed with the left one under the right. Your hands are in your lap, palms up, with your left hand under your right as well. Somehow, you should close your eyes almost all the way shut, not fully closed, and look down at your nose.

They said this helps you focus more, but I kept closing my eyes after about twenty seconds.

We couldn’t be in the full crossed legs position because the monks had us sit on small benches inside the temple. Placing our hands together and breathing deeply for several minutes is something we could do while sitting.

Looking at my nose and holding my left hand under my right, palms up, helped me focus on being in the present moment. Now, when I’m at home practising, on the floor with my legs folded and my hands, I notice how much smoother I ease into deep meditation.

My mind wanders less at first.

Getting your body in the proper position and posture truly makes a difference. I knew sitting on the floor with my back straight helped before, but now I’m even more convinced stacking your hands and touching your thumbs together helps to center your mind.

The monks showed us that rocking side to side helps to loosen your body if sitting in the position is uncomfortable at first. I understood that even monks have days when sitting correctly may be difficult.

In the beginning, you can always find a way to make something work better for yourself.

Calligraphy writing was surprisingly meditative

We also practised writing calligraphy with a brush pen when we returned to our room. I couldn’t write Japanese, but it didn’t matter. I mainly had to trace.

The kanji characters were underneath; all you had to do was brush over them. The writing is about living a peaceful life, and the monks recited this during our meditation practice time. Writing with a brush pen was meditative and took more time than I thought, but I stuck with it.

I felt there was a lesson there.

The results of my calligraphy writing practice.

As a cartoonist, one of my favorite details about Koyasan, and just about everywhere in Japan, is how they have cute mascots.

This little monk character, Koyakun, was everywhere we went, giving advice and showing us around.

Koyakun was everywhere with helpful signs to guide you.

Koyasan monks practice Shingon Buddhism. Therefore, how they taught meditation goes along with how that particular sect practices.

Even with their advice, I still believe you can meditate any way you choose. It’s easier if you think about it openly and not full of strict rules.

You should start a meditation practice if you haven’t already. We hear some of the benefits of meditation, like more self-awareness and clear thinking, but is this true for everybody? The statistics would say so. In fact, a lot of folks are into “facing themselves” daily.

-It is believed that between 200 and 500 million people worldwide meditate.

-Data from the National Health Interview Survey in 2017 showed that 16.3% of women meditate, compared to 12% of men.

-The Headspace meditation app has been downloaded sixty-five million times. [10]

Meditation should be relaxing, so chill out about the correct way to do it

If you’d like to try meditation, I suggest relaxing your expectations with how you think it should look. Sometimes you can talk yourself out of something great because you feel it must be done a certain way. Like it would be best if you resembled a bald monk sitting cross leg with perfect posture for hours.

I try my best to sit their way, with my left leg under and right leg on top and hands in my lap palms up, but sometimes I sit in a chair.

The most challenging idea for me to accept is that it’s all about mindfulness and not how you sit. Being present when and where you are and noticing your body and thoughts.

That’s it, pretty simple.

Whether you’re doing this for ten minutes — which I think is the minimum amount of time to notice a difference — or an hour, you can focus on yourself anywhere. There are times when I’m stressed that stopping what I’m doing and taking three deep breaths helps to calm me down.

All the distractions in our modern world can block our thinking. You must deal with your emotions, swimming around, desiring your attention, and making space to work things out in your subconscious.

Meditating is genuinely part of a creative life. Add as much of it as possible to your day, and watch as you calm down and think clearly more often.

Of course, I could be wrong, but it’s the most specific change I made to my life over twenty years ago, and I continually see positive results. When life gets crazy, I meditate more.

Here are more stats if you need a push to get started.

-Research conducted in 2016 sought to discover the health benefits of meditation and understand the practice’s growth. Below is the list of reasons given for starting to meditate:

• General wellness (76.2%)

• Improving energy (60%)

• Aiding memory or concentration (50%)

• Anxiety (29.2%)

• Stress (21.6%)

• Depression (17.8%)

In the case of all the above conditions, 60% of the people questioned in the study reported that meditation helped them significantly.

-People who meditate can reduce their chance of being hospitalized for coronary heart disease by 87%. [10]

The groundbreaking research was initially conducted in 1989 and followed up fifteen years later to see if the mantra meditation was still working its magic.

It was found that the group who used the technique had a lower CV mortality rate than those who didn’t participate in the practice.

The 1989 project focused on 73 residents, and further research has backed up the finding; however, it is still felt further research is needed to understand the full effects.

They, just like me, could be wrong.

-But wait! Did you know that 25% of people who meditate report having an unpleasant psychological experience? [23]

I guess meditation isn’t for everyone. A study of 1,232 participants found that a quarter experienced adverse effects such as anxiety, fear, and distorted emotions.

Sure, the study might have been confirmed, but we have no idea what was going on in the lives of the people in this study at the time. You know I’m open to hearing other arguments, but I believe most people will feel positive benefits from regular meditation if they try it for a month or more, and this should be enough time to turn it into a habit.

Try meditating more and see how you feel

You don’t need to travel to Japan and ascend a mountain to practice meditation—hopefully, I helped you see that. When you practice, I bet you’ll appreciate my shared benefits.

I love how you can become more aware of what’s right for you when you meditate regularly. Your “still small voice” gets louder, and you make better decisions. Decisions that are based on what you truly desire.

Knowing how to pause before, say, picking your phone right up when notification dings and waiting to finish writing that page is what I love. You can have more control over yourself when you’re aware of what you’re doing.

Thanks for joining my Koyosan adventure and learning more about meditation.

How do you meditate?

3 Reasons to Turn Off the TV and Make Stuff Again

The power of producing for others can change your life for the better.

Illustrated by the author.

In the 1930s, thousands of people lined up to view the Dionne Quintuplets on display in a hospital nursery in Ontario, Canada.

Back then, no one knew having five babies at one time was possible—they had to see it to believe it.

The Canadian government passed a bill making the babies Yvonne, Annette, Cecile, Emilie, and Marie wards of the state. After all, how could one married couple possibly take care of so many babies at once?

Audiences paid to peek into display windows and watch the children grow up over almost ten years, putting half a billion dollars in the Canadian government's pocket.

People not only love to be entertained but awed. Seeing something fresh, groundbreaking, and new excites the imagination and creates envy in all your friends when you share your experiences.

It didn’t matter who you were. Celebrities came from far and wide to see the quintuplets in real life. Notable names at the time like Mae West, Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable, and even a young future Queen Elizabeth II.

The Dionne quintuplets courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

You may find it strange, or a bit twisted that people would pay to watch children through small windows at a hospital for enjoyment, but what else could they do?

Without the internet and television, radio and movies could only go so far. Plus, your choices were minimal in those days—no endless stream of shows and content like what we have now. You had to talk with friends, share stories around a fire or at the dinner table, play games, and actually go outside.

Using your imagination along with your social skills was vital.

What if you were a creator who desired to share your gifts with the world? Fat chance. One hundred years ago, there'd be limited outlets to share your passions and interests widely. You could be a local actor or musician in your town or risk your life traveling to New York or taking a boat overseas to Europe.

A century ago, providing for the basics—food, clothing, and shelter—was hard enough. Our world is more miniature thanks to the internet and media, but it's making people complacent.

Who needs to create or write their stuff when you can turn on the TV, look at your phone, or open a laptop anytime and be entertained?

When you think about some ridiculous videos people, watch on YouTube or vapid reality shows where people yell at each other that you can endlessly stream, it's not far off from watching five siblings playing in a room for entertainment. A lot of it is cruel and unethical.

Turn it off.

Let's say you're someone who works hard all day and wants to come home to a beer and several hours of watching screens. That's cool, some of the time.

We all need to kick back and relax here and there.

But what if you spent a bit of those TV watching hours creating something to inspire people who need what you offer? Perhaps you're a creator who gave it all up out of frustration.

I've been a cartoonist for over twenty years, with some hits but a ton more misses. Giving up and starting again is now a part of my backbone. If knocked down, you can come back to creating again, believe me.

Having so many choices for fun and amusement is fantastic, but I've discovered how the power of producing for others, no matter what you've been through, can change your life for the better.

Take a look at these three reasons to make time to share your talents.

1. Giving feels better than taking

Consuming content is exactly how it sounds—taking in and filling yourself without giving anything back. You're only working in one direction. It's my personal belief we're put here to give to the world more than we take.

If you look at it this way, figuring out what unique gifts you can share with the world is essential.

Very few people are fortunate enough to do what they love as a career. Add it to your life in some way.

You don't have to be on camera or pursuing internet fame and millions of rabid fans, but give yourself time each day to create something. Whether in the arts or being of service to others as a professional, helping your family or mentoring young people can help you give back in a fulfilling way.

2. Creating is its own reward

You don't need a large audience. Making or working on something that brings you joy is genuinely rewarding. A desire to improve, put in the work to get where you want to be, then you can share each step only if you choose.

Success and money aren't necessary. It's all about the making.

Sure, if you get so good, others can't help but notice you might have a hit on your hands, this may be a new direction to move into for success.

Enjoying doing what you love should be the primary goal, though.

I read a story about a young comedian who approached Jerry Seinfeld in a club one night and asked him for advice about marketing and exposure for his comedy career.

Hearing all this talk about exposure and marketing made Seinfeld feel queasy. He's a pure stand-up—a comedian's comedian. The legendary heads-down work ethic Seinfeld is known for giving the younger comedian the impression that's what he should ask about to get ahead. Nope.

"Just work on your act," Seinfeld said.

3. Building your legacy instead of others

There's nothing wrong with being remembered as someone who worked long hours providing for their family—making a better life for the people you love is an impressive accomplishment.

Think about if you're fortunate enough, like many people in the U.S., to have the means to pursue a craft or art skill to bring joy to others.

Your passions will be remembered and passed down through your family, inspiring future generations. It's not only about being remembered but leaving something more than money as your legacy.

Don't spend all your attention on something someone else built. Put time into making something your ancestors can be proud of after you're gone. Look, we all love Star Wars, but there are plenty of fans of that franchise.

Create yours.

Giving with your art makes it clear to others there's more out there than just working a job. You're here to inspire people, enjoy life, and show them you care for what's possible beyond endless hours of earning money to pay the bills.

Find your platform and express yourself

With our modern privilege, we can choose to watch the endless array of mindless, borderline embarrassing content out there but also use it to give back and make others feel awe.

Decide if you want to create in private or share it with your family or the world online. Your platform doesn't have to be a website destination—it can be in person.

Even if you feel like an amateur, you can inspire and thrill others with your creativity and positive energy.

One of the things I enjoy about making comic strips is knowing I can give someone I've never met before a laugh. Even if my work isn't hilarious, I like that I can bring a little joy to someone who might need it that day. It makes all the work hours feel like they matter to someone over just me.

Not sure what you can share with others?

• Find a dance class or group to groove with and work out your frustrations through music and movement.

• Write articles about topics that interest you and can help others learn new skills. Publish them on Medium and social media sites and observe the feedback you receive to shape how you grow and move forward.

• Make a goal to fill a sketchbook with drawings of what you see around you. Sketch the people in your life. Then, share photos online of your finished pages.

• Learn a new instrument or practice songs on the one you play well, then try writing songs you could share.

• Be that listening ear for friends and family who need support. Giving your time to be fully present for others is a crucial skill to master.

Turning off the TV more and making time for creativity and care for others is your ticket to a fulfilling life.

Give more and see how each day gets better.

Subscribe to my A New Creative Life newsletter to discover how to live a creative life.

https://khalidbirdsong.substack.com/

Why You Should Practice The Boring Stuff When You’re Young.

And 3 ways to love the fundamentals and master your craft when you’re older.

Photo by Kaizen Nguyễn on Unsplash

“I don’t need to practice [insert art skill]. This is just my personal style.”

How many times have I heard that from my art students? Way too many times.

If you want to get good, you have to learn to love practicing the fundamental skills of your craft when you’re young. Whether that’s in visual art, music, sports, or, yes, even writing.

It doesn’t get easier with time.

Getting good means knowing what good means. And that takes experience.

You learn by growing through repetitive practice in stuff you, at a young age, can’t see as important right now. Passing your lack of experience off as a style trait is lazy and misguided.

When you’re in school and even into your twenties, you have more energy than you know what to do with. Why make excuses for putting in the work as a creative? I bet it’s because you don’t have a coach riding your a$$ every day to write for two hours, or practice drawing portraits.

You can bet athletes hire or must attend a certain number of practices each week to stay in shape and keep their sporty skills in tip-top condition. I also bet there’s no way they would practice that much without someone holding them accountable.

But what if you can’t hire an art or writing coach? You’ve got to be the one who motivates yourself to keep going no matter how old you are.

Once you get decent at the basics, we can talk about flipping them on their head and claiming you can practice less because it’s your style. At least, that’s what I say when teaching art to middle school students. They want it to be easy right now, and it doesn’t work like that, unfortunately.

You may even be older and know how important it is to practice but still can’t get yourself to work on the boring stuff you know will grow your skills.

One thing young people don’t understand is how heavy responsibilities, like raising children, and dealing with surprise health issues, not to mention being just plain tired, make it so much harder to put in time practicing skills as you age.

No worries. All it takes is a mindset shift and a little creativity. Treat it like you’re young—fresh-faced and open to discovering more of how basic skills can improve your work.

You don’t have to love practicing the fundamentals, but you have to work on them regularly to improve.

Here’s what I tell young creatives that can also help my over-forty crowd, who need help consistently doing the things to improve their work.

Make it a game to get fully engaged

Creating your art, drawing or writing should be something you enjoy no matter what, right? I’ll give you a hardy WRONG on that one! Yes, making whatever you feel like when you’re in the mood is enjoyable, but if you want to improve, you have to work even when you’re not feeling it.

Gamify your practice times to incentivize learning the boring stuff that makes you cringe. Use your creativity to make learning the basics fun, and it will be easier to want to sit down and get to work.

Let’s say you need to improve your skills in drawing hands, and what artist doesn’t? You sit down and challenge yourself to draw five hand gestures in your sketchbook in twenty minutes. Set a timer and see if you can beat it.

Figure drawing practice within thirty minutes.

Even if you’re practicing playing scales on an instrument—not the most fun activity but important—use a similar method. How many can you do in a limited time? Can you play them in several different rhythms like a song?

Becoming a better writer takes, well, writing often. Challenge yourself to see how many days a week you can write for a specific amount of time. Try one hour a day at the same time of day. Or, give yourself a word count, like 500 words each day, mark a calendar when you complete them, and on Sunday, see if you’ve won.

The act of spicing up your fundamentals will help make sitting down to do them more fun. Unfortunately, gamifying is not enough. Naturally, we all want something when we win.

Reward yourself sweetly to make winning fun

When you reach your gamified goal, reward yourself with a treat — whatever that is for you. I love eating chocolate chip cookies. Sweet treats are a solid motivator for me, and I feel like I truly won an award when I get a treat afterward.

The other day, it was hard for me to focus on writing. So, I got some of those Mini Chips Ahoy cookies as motivators. They’re small so I could eat one after ten minutes of writing. Chewing on it with a smile as I write more, then after ten minutes put another in my mouth. Writing and eating treats as I go.

Not great for my waistline, I know, but I got through finishing an article. And drank a big glass of almond milk after.

You may decide you can’t watch your favorite TV show until you’ve drawn something for an hour or two. Pick the things you really do not feel like practicing, and add your best reward treat to completing them successfully.

I enjoy knowing I can draw whatever I want if I put in a certain amount of time on fundamentals. That could mean drawing three figure drawings, then a funny cartoon character.

The harder and more boring the skill, the better the reward. You’ll be getting fundamental practice easier and more often.

Drawing bunnies is a lot of fun after figure drawing practice.

Upgrade your thinking to always keep going

If you’re dedicated to your chosen art form, you must learn to work with the difficult and boring parts as well as what’s enjoyable. They do go hand in hand. Even if you’re doing it mainly for fun, you’ll want to get better, telling yourself improvement doesn’t matter is a waste of time.

When you get up to go to work or school, you have to mentally prepare for the day. Why? Because it’s important. You know there will be a mix of great and not-so-great, but you take it on as a part of the experience. Do the same with your art and creative work.

Know it will be hard at times, especially when you’ve got family or health challenges, but the hard stuff makes you better and pushes you ahead. If it feels too easy, too fun, you’re probably not growing. Look for the obstacles. Find ways to work on the difficult parts because you know you need it to improve.

Doing this sort of mind shift, especially when you’re young, will help you make it a habit you continue into older age. You set a precedent that growing as a creative person takes doing the parts you enjoy and the parts that help you grow.

Trying to get yourself to do what you know you must when you’re older is harder. You become more set in your ways, and life responsibilities make it easier for you to make excuses not to create. When you have a mindset of creating regularly set in your brain, getting started, even if times are tough, is easier.

When you seek out creative challenges, find fun ways to work on them regularly, and reward your accomplishments, the boring stuff won’t be boring anymore.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Watching People Litter in London Inspired This Easy Happiness Hack

Getting rid of the garbage in your mind without hesitation makes a huge difference.

Photo by Sabrina Mazzeo on Unsplash

Did he just dump his entire lunch onto the street?

I recently visited London for the first time and fell in love with the city and its people. There’s a charm that grabbed me, and history, with a bit of clotted cream on the side, keeping it on my mind. If you haven’t been, you should go. Escaping America again soon to experience more British culture is most definitely in the cards.

The only part of the trip that surprised me was how many people littered. Not just gum wrappers or small store receipts, but all the garbage in their pockets and more lying about on the streets.

I watched a man stop at a red light, open his car door, and throw all of his fast-food trash—his paper bag of food and cup of soda—out onto the street, then keep driving when the light turned green—no concern about the environment. No worries.

Garbage cans were hard to come by, but I wondered why people couldn’t keep their trash with them until they found one. Or, wait until they got home?

Big cities require you to walk and take public transportation, so you might not feel like trekking around all day with your garbage, so you drop it to lighten your load.

Getting rid of actual trash any time, anywhere, is a terrible thing to do. As a lover of metaphors, this made me think of the emotional baggage—or junk—we continually carry around and never get rid of in our lives.

What if we treated our trauma and emotional issues like the trash we must dump immediately? Not onto random strangers or everyone we know, but making a point to feel and process our emotions, then talk to good friends and therapists to help us unload our crap.

I like to call it “Positive littering for the mind," a more immediate way to get back to happiness.

To do it, though, you have to take an honest look at what you’re carrying.

The author in London by the Thames river and parliament.

Recognize your garbage

Sightseeing in London was jolly good fun. We stayed in an Airbnb apartment close to parliament and could walk over to the river Thames within ten minutes to view Big Ben and the London Eye Ferris wheel.

One of my favorite experiences was watching the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. They even had a marching band playing familiar songs like Phantom of the Opera and the Spiderman theme.

Taking in all the sites and over one thousand years of history hits you with awe for the beauty and culture, respect for what they’ve built, and anger at the atrocities of colonialism.

You have to face plenty of mixed emotions and serious issues when you make a point to look at what’s in front of you.

That’s why most people push their feelings down deep and ignore them. They won’t go away if you turn your back or stuff them somewhere in your heart. Yes, negative emotions like fear, shame, and disappointment are uncomfortable, but you have to feel them if you want them to dissipate.

Name these dark and deep emotions. Call them out. Or, at least think about why you’re feeling this way and what led to them. Knowing what you’re carrying can help you release later.

When I visit my inlaws in Japan, there are very few garbage cans when we’re out and about. People there tend to hold on to their trash, keeping it in their bags, purses, or pockets while walking. Therefore, I do the same.

You’re very aware you’re carrying your garbage, which can be pretty annoying.

It’s so satisfying when you get to a garbage can at the subway station or home and can dump it all out. After carrying it for a while, you’re very aware of all you have and enjoy watching it go where it belongs.

Throw your garbage out as soon as possible

I saw people in London littering, but I didn’t see a lot of litter on the ground. Apparently, it’s a big problem there, but they must have plenty of city workers hired to clean it all up regularly. I expected to see more garbage than I did.

It would be best to take them out once you see your issues and accept them—name them as garbage.

This is where “Positive littering for the mind” comes in, and you can do it all in your head. It may feel like a stretch for some of you but stick with me here.

Visualize yourself taking that issue or problem and throwing it in the garbage. Ball it up into a big wad of wrinkled papers in your mind and feel those uncomfortable emotions. They won’t feel good but don’t hide from them.

See yourself letting it go into a huge can. You can even use hand motions to throw it into the trash with force. The relief once your garbage hits bottom will be all the sweeter. You faced your trash and threw it out.

You cleaned out your mess.

Does this solve all your emotional problems? No. And I’m no licensed therapist or psychiatrist, but I am a middle school teacher and creative guy who’s been through a lot of crap. This method works for me and helps strengthen my tolerance for facing challenging emotions.

If you don’t have time at the moment to do this, take time to meditate in the morning or before bed, and visualize taking out your mental trash.

Keep moving forward in life with honesty and help

I know severe trauma and painful parts of childhood are not easy to ball up and throw in the trash with your imagination. This method works on milder emotions or immediate feelings best. Making sure to see a therapist and work on talking through your serious issues that may be causing the smaller ones to feel more extreme is essential.

Of course, talk therapy is scary too. Getting to a place where you can face what’s holding you back or causing negative emotions is a step towards healing and getting help for more profound issues.

You don’t want to litter your emotional baggage all over everyone, but you should have a goal to get to a place where you can openly express your feelings and talk to people who can help you heal. If not, moving forward in life will be a significant challenge.

The next trip to London will be a welcome adventure and one I’m more prepared to face now that I’ve visited once before. I know how to get around and better understand how the city is laid out.

Just like facing your emotional baggage, you get more confident with experience. I highly recommend world travel, especially to the U.K., but you don’t have to go overseas to start healing your mind and heart.

You can do that right now, with a bit of self-awareness and quiet time.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or psychiatrist. Please use my advice at your discretion and see a professional if you’re suffering from severe depression.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Don’t Feel Bad About Not Starting Your Side Hustle

Why living through a pandemic is the right reason to slow down.

Photo by Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash

I believe in working a job and having another money-making venture on the side, but it’s not always as easy as people make it seem.

If you’ve survived the Covid pandemic, stop and look at what you’ve accomplished. Do you have a job paying the bills right now? Congratulations! You’re much better off than most people.

Are you physically healthy and in decent shape? Another win.

Even though it’s hard to hear, you’re most likely emotionally and mentally damaged after surviving a worldwide pandemic. Hearing about people dying every day, maybe even family members, and doing what you can to keep the virus at bay and, at the same time, food on the table takes herculean effort.

Adding a side business to all of that takes serious consideration after everything we’ve been through in the world.

What do you want out of life?

The unprecedented times we’ve lived through have now become precedented times. Fortunately, because of vaccines and people being more willing to take them, life improves steadily.

Let’s hope we can gradually move back to some semblance of normalcy in the next few years. As a teacher, writer, and cartoonist, I’m choosing to build up my writing and drawing skills with the awareness it can be easy to crash and burn if I do too much.

You have to decide what you can handle in your specific circumstances right now, which might not include—let’s be honest—more work.

What would you get out of your side hustle?

Your “why” should be about more than money. Even if you’re in bad financial shape and need to make some dough to catch up on bills, you should have meaningful goals attached to it as well.

Freelance writing is an easy example. You can make money writing for clients doing blog posts, case studies, and copywriting. Freelancing has its challenges, but you’re growing and improving as a writer.

I loved freelance writing as my side hustle pre-pandemic while teaching Art full-time. Finding jobs on Upwork was tricky at first, but I figured it out and smiled my way through icky clients. But I also had fun with wonderful ones, learning more about business writing, and growing a more impressive writing portfolio.

One of my goals was to eventually transition from teaching into copywriting for a tech company or full-time freelancing. Accepting that desire helped me keep going when I was tired or didn’t feel like writing after work. Three years of side hustling went by, and recruiters started taking notice of my case studies on Linkedin. I was able to move into a position as a copywriter for a tech company.

I learned a lot from experience over almost two years until the pandemic hit. The company let me go, and I was unemployed for a few months and moved back to teaching. Learning to teach from home was a huge challenge and took a ton out of me.

All of us had to learn to work differently. Doing your job remotely from home is a dream for others and a nightmare for some. I had my daughter at home and had to help with her remote schooling while attempting to keep up with my teaching.

It was hard. I barely made it through, but I get to decide how to proceed, and so do you.

“The action you take today will secure your tomorrow and have its repercussions. The pandemic will frizzle out and get over someday shortly, but the survivors remain. And remember we aim now at ‘safeguarding lives’ and ‘safeguarding livelihood’.”

― Henrietta Newton Martin , Legal Advisor & Author

Can you do it without killing yourself?

I burned out from working too much during a pandemic while balancing parenting. It wasn’t like before when all I had to think about was how early to wake up to write and draw and make sure to rest on the weekends. Pandemic life changed me, and I had to take parts of my busy life off my plate to survive.

Post pandemic, side hustling looks different. Your other jobs or extra business might take a toll you don’t expect and hit you with health problems. Is it worth it?

If your side hustle happens to be something you’re passionate about, like acting or drawing, working for clients forces you to do something in that area you usually wouldn’t. This can be a good thing.

We all have certain parts of what we love we’re afraid to try. A business you’re working for will pull you out of your comfort zone, requiring you to do things you’ve been avoiding. You can learn to face discomfort.

Scary, but necessary if you want to grow. What if you feel like you don't have the capacity and are not ready to take on more? Should you put on Gary Vee podcasts yelling at you to get your hustle on? Maybe, just like most humans, he’s wrong sometimes too.

The only one who can tell you what’s right for you right now is you.

About a year ago, I remembered a popular saying, “Give yourself some grace.” If you’re not ready to stretch yourself yet, let your side hustle goals go for now.

Growing in your chosen passion is essential, and I strongly believe in facing your fears to get better at what you love. But it will tire you out.

If what you’re looking to get out of a side hustle feels like an incredible weight combined with everything else right now, leave it alone. Taking time to recharge your batteries is most important.

When you know why you want to work outside of your job, you can better understand what you can handle. Eventually, you can start—or continue—your work on the side when you know you can go all in.

You don’t have to start now

The idea that there is never a better time than the present isn’t always true. Life can overload you, and trying to push through it all to become a side hustle success story isn’t always worth the effort. Believe it or not, there can and will be better times to start or continue a side hustle in the future.

Taking breaks and giving yourself time to heal physically and emotionally will help you reach success when you’re ready.

Slowing down to speed back up is essential. Running a marathon isn’t all sprinting, and it would help if you had time to coast a bit to burst back to being busy and successful.

Please understand that I believe in pursuing side hustles and have experienced their benefits.

• More money to save and live a better life.

• Learning and improving on valuable skills.

• Opening up doors to new career opportunities.

You should definitely find and go for your side hustle—in time. Please make sure you’re thrilled about it inside and out.

If not, build up excitement by practicing the skills you would use in your side hustle as a hobby. Do it for fun. That’s what it should be, after all, anyway, right? When you can enjoy the process of writing, making, and creating, it gets easier to pursue it for a profit later.

Turning what you enjoy into a small business isn’t a walk in the park. When times are tough or not going the way you’d hoped, being able to do what you do for fun can keep you excited and motivated.

Even though I’ve actively sought out freelance work in the past, I’m enjoying writing on Medium and working on my unique voice at this point in my life. I’ve done some illustrations for a couple of clients this year but haven’t pushed hard for many more. It’s nice not having constant deadlines, and working when I want feels good for as long as I want.

Taking the time I needed to slow down helped me focus more on family and talking to a therapist for my mental health.

I can see myself freelancing consistently soon, but I’m in no rush. At least I’ve proven I can do it in the past, so getting back into side hustling with more gusto feels possible.

If you’re a super go-getter or afraid you won’t start, decide how long you’ll wait to begin side hustling. Give yourself a three months break.

Write down your plans to begin something in a year and mark it on your calendar. However long you think you’ll need to get back on track, have a goal of when you’ll start so you can look forward to it and mentally prepare.

The world and you have been through hell. Give yourself time and grace to build yourself up, and then hop on working your side hustle when you’re prepared.

Better times are ahead. Slow down and rest to work your side hustle at your best. You owe it to yourself, and your customers and clients will notice the difference.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

3 Reasons You're Unsatisfied With Adulthood

And how to change your mindset to get more out of life.

Wincing at life. Illustrated by the author.

I bet you thought becoming an adult would be so much fun. You would have complete control of your life, no parents telling you what to do.

Thinking the same almost ruined me when I got out in my twenties. "Wait. You mean I have to make all the decisions now and stop blaming everything on my parents?"

Yup. It gets real, real fast.

“As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.”
― David Sedaris, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

I get what makes it feel sucky at times as a creative professional, husband, and father through more than twenty-five years of adult life after college under my belt.

I learned it’s about more than just screaming "Life sucks!" every time events don't go your way. Paying attention to these three reasons below can help you stay confident while slaying adulting.

1. Life is complicated no matter where you are on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Life is tough no matter what. How much you have or gain doesn't exclude you from the difficulties life throws at you constantly. I know you want more out of it, and for a good reason, but you forget, or perhaps aren't appreciating, everyone isn't in the same place as you.

Even if they were, it wouldn't matter anyway. Hard to hear, perhaps, but taking an honest look at where we are right now can help give you perspective.

Understanding where you are on the hierarchy of needs pyramid can help you know where you're going and give you faith things can improve.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs poster courtesy of playvolutionhq.com.

Let's say you reached the top. Self-actualization is all yours now. All your financial needs are taken care of; you have time to create, have meaningful relationships, and control your daily schedule. Does this mean nothing negative will ever happen to you?

When life is going insanely well, we tend to despise setbacks when they happen, almost as if we've earned the right not to have to deal with them. It's almost as if only the good things should be in our lives because we have it so good.

Consequently, if we're towards the bottom of the pyramid and our basic needs aren't being met, we want to climb up and believe getting more will solve all our problems. Life will be easier when you're at the top but not devoid of tough times.

You'll be in a more balanced place to deal with the poop as it flies at you, but no amount of security, money, or love can stop the truth of life.

Bad things happen to good people. So, accept it, take full responsibility when it all goes sideways and take care of what's necessary to get your life back on track.

The excellent news, hard times can and will get better, even if it doesn't feel that way today.

2. You think successful people are 100% happy

Striving to become a better person is good, and only working your a$$ off to buy a bigger house is not.

Scrolling social media makes you jealous of others and their perceived joyful and prosperous life, and it's never as great as it looks. Still, you want to do more, have more, and be more because you see it's possible.

The people you admire as successful do not have a perfect life, and an ideal life doesn't exist. With all the money and power, the CEO you gawk at could be having marital problems at home or health issues they're hiding from the public.

We're all battling something.

Admiring the success of others is inspiring and can fill you with joy. Put keep your mind in the reality zone. Adulthood should be about striving for the personal success important to you while understanding life can never be perfect.

Are you able to think through everything you have at this moment, good and bad, and still smile? What gives you pleasure, even though the pain?

Everything you work hard for should feel worth the stress and strain. When times are hard for me, I love drawing as an outlet. Opening up a sketchbook and trying my hand at a portrait or a funny animated character helps me smile again.

When you take stock in your achievements and where you still want to go, appreciating what you've already accomplished goes a long way. Gratitude is the key to joy, even if it's only because you understand how important life's basics are.

If you're healthy and able to go for what gets your excitement rising each morning, you have a lot to be thankful for—let that empower you.

“You’ll never see a happy ungrateful person.”

Zig Ziglar

3. You compare yourself to the wrong people.

We're all sold the idea, in America at least, that making it equals big paychecks, lots of sex, and a mansion the size of an art museum. You're not genuinely making it if you're missing these symbols of success.

Not valid for everyone, and it doesn't have to be what you desire either.

Why are you doing all of this? Is it a part of your life purpose, or because you saw someone else doing it and decided it would be cool?

Make specific, thoughtful choices. I decided a long time ago going after vast sums of money wasn't going to be my goal. Life taught me money makes things easier.

I had to understand it's OK to want to make a good salary to take care of basic needs and save for retirement; it took years to accept I enjoy travel and need enough for at least one adventure a year.

Maybe that's not necessary for everyone, but travel matters to me. Seeing the world helps me feel wealthy, and I love learning about other cultures and cities.

What do you need to benefit you, your family, and your overall mental health right now? Write down a list of your needs and wants. Getting serious about what matters to you as an individual, not what you think you "should" desire is a good goal.

Are you in a place mentally to work towards being a self-actualized human being? If you don't know where to go, you can't stay on the right road.

Once you have a list of what you truly want, you can find people who have done what you strive for and learn from their experiences. Read about them, or better yet, talk to them in person if you can.

You will reach your goals if you compare yourself to the right people. The people doing precisely what you aspire to do in your life.

“Don’t you find it odd,” she continued, “that when you’re a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if you even try.”
― Ethan Hawke, The Hottest State

Figure out a way to pursue your dreams

You have roadblocks to your goals. But if you get creative and find a way to go after your dreams, your life will feel loads more fulfilling and enjoyable.

No one said a good life would be easy.

Even doing what you love part-time, or dare I say, as a hobby, can create balance and instant smiles each morning you wake.

Take full responsibility for your life and do what it takes to do what you love. Yes, it may be more challenging if you're a person of color, or suffering an illness, but there are always ways to make things work.

• Take time to plan how to save enough money to give you the freedom to do more of your passions.

• Ask for help from people who can assist you on your journey or give you advice. Or, even better—mentoring.

• Work a job that doesn't take all of your brainpower, and do your passion during your off hours until you can do it full-time.

• Spend more time in groups with people who enjoy what you love. Life is less crappy when you spend it with others.

Permit yourself to love life by structuring it in a way that benefits your interests.

Keep your head in the right place. Not wanting too much all the time and giving thanks for what you have can change your outlook.

“I’ve been very blessed in my personal life and in my career and I have never been ungrateful for what I have.”

Mandy Patinkin

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Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Finding Your Purpose is Simpler Than You Think

Here’s one undeniable way to discover yours.

Photo by Jaunt and Joy on Unsplash

You’re looking to find purpose—a reason to get up in the morning or a career to fulfill your heart and soul. I know the feeling.

You try this and try that for a little while, only to be disappointed you don’t fall in love right away. “When will my calling hit me in the face and change my life for the better?” you wonder.

Come on; you can’t be serious. No Fairy Godmother of Purpose will ever appear and grant you a life of passion and meaning. Even if someone offers you a fantastic opportunity, you have to recognize it first.

A purpose can sometimes come from natural abilities or a need you feel you must fulfill from early in your life, but it’s rare. You won’t like reading this—but a purpose takes hard work and patience.

It’s not a magical gift from the gods.

Coming from writing and creating comics regularly for many years, I now know my purpose is to educate and entertain through stories and art. I didn’t hike up a mountain to the top and receive a divine message.

I discovered my purpose by doing the work.

But don’t worry, it’s not as hard as you might think. You have to make concrete decisions and stick to them. Here’s how…

Commit to something

Discovering your purpose first takes you to committing to learning and growing in a particular area or career. It’s astonishing how connected we can become to an area we choose to give ourselves to heart and soul.

What are you interested in learning and becoming the best at over many years? If you pick something that excites you and scares you a little, you’re on the right track.

Make a point to practice the skill regularly to improve, and you’ll see how it fills you with purpose, with a drive to do better and share it with the world. When you commit—essentially, take responsibility for something—it gives your life meaning.

Pretty simple, right?

I’ve loved writing for most of my life, but committing to posting articles here on Medium regularly and becoming a better writer helped cultivate my feeling of purpose. Helping inspire others to succeed now feels like my purpose through the written word.

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”

Vince Lombardi

Embrace responsibility

People run away from responsibility like it’s an evil villain chasing them in a horror movie, preferring to escape into simple, non-threatening pleasure-seeking getaways as much as possible.

If you want a purpose-driven life, you have to embrace the responsibility that goes along with that life. You can’t have one thing without the other. Accepting that there’s a price to pay for everything is a part of doing something worthwhile.

If you want to be a better writer, you’ll need to watch less TV and spend more hours on the keyboard. The more you work at it, the better you’re writing will become, then you begin to desire watching TV less as your desire to write grows. You feel like it’s your purpose.

When you, let’s say, become a parent, volunteer somewhere, commit to a relationship, take on a mortgage to buy a home or any one of a thousand other “responsibilities,” they permeate your life with purpose and meaning.

That’s the upside of responsibility no one tells you.

“Without commitment you cannot have depth in anything.”

Neil Strauss

Attract your purpose through action

It’s all on you now. Commit to growing and improving in several parts of your life that interest you.

Even if you don’t think it could be your purpose right now, you’d be amazed by how things look different once you dedicate yourself to them and become the best over time.

When I started teaching art in an elementary school, I thought I would hate it because I wasn’t making all of my money being an illustrator. There were a lot of new responsibilities to take on, like taking care of children and classroom management, and I had to learn to plan lessons and make a curriculum.

Over that first year of teaching, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed being an educator. I made time to draw comics in my off-hours, and I felt like my teaching job was making a difference to young people.

The position grew on me as I took on the commitment and handled the responsibility. You won’t always know what will be the right fit.

When you commit and work hard, your purpose finds you.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

You Only Need 3 Words to Have a Life You Yearn For

Upgrading your thinking doesn't have to be hard

Photo by Kajetan Sumila on Unsplash

One of the biggest names in the fashion industry didn't start designing wedding dresses until age 40.

Vera Wang found her true calling a bit later in life. She pursued her dreams of being a successful athlete but failed to qualify for the 1968 Olympic figure-skating team.

When her sports goals didn't work out as she'd hoped, Vera changed what she yearned for and took on one of her other interests—fashion. Working at Vogue for many years gave her experience and new skills, but, unfortunately, she never rose to the company's top.

Putting time in on the side to design wedding dresses and ultimately open her bridal boutique in the upscale Carlyle Hotel on Madison Avenue in New York City helped put her on the map.

Today, Vera Wang is huge in the fashion realm with a business worth over one billion dollars.

Anyone who succeeds through multiple ups and downs and can pivot into success must have a clear vision to pursue. Deciding what your's is can be easier than you think.

Choose three words to yearn for in life

I bet you tend to want it all when it comes to life—all the money, a perfect loving relationship, and a fantastic job. It might even be that you're extremely specific about exactly which company you want to work for or the type of person you most desire.

How about you try picking just three words that cover what you yearn for in life in a broader sense?

Narrowing down what you truly want to three words can help your mind focus and attract the experiences you desire most. This keeps you open to many possibilities and not fixed on specific outcomes.

For example, if you say, "I yearn for kindness, adventure, and peace in my life." this statement will set your mind in motion to attract what you desire.

Making concrete decisions activates the universe to start working for you. Keeping what you yearn for broad and open will give you the flexibility to change when needed.

Me? I yearn for love, freedom, and creativity.

Coming up with those words took several tries. In fact, I might still change them. It gives me a high-level idea of what I need to feel like life is going my way. Something similar to a compass that guides me when I get off track. I can ask myself questions like, "Will this bring more love into my life, or less?" or "Can I gain more freedom from starting this business?"

When you have the three words you yearn for, you're on your way. If they're not all present in your life yet, be careful with how fast you expect them.

Walk towards your goals, don't run

Yearning is not desperation. Take your time getting to where you want to go in your life, relationships, and career. Anytime I try to rush things, they turn out less meaningful with little fulfillment.

Make your yearnings like the locations you're walking towards each day. Move steadily ahead but always have your goals in sight. There's so much to discover when you take time to pay attention along the way.

Running fast towards goals makes you miss learning moments. These are important ones that could help you appreciate what you're receiving and help with the knowledge to keep it together.

Yearning leads to doing, then eventually, becoming. I hate to admit sometimes that growth and change are gradual. Patience is not my strong suit. The problem is, you don't see how much you've grown most of the time because changes are so small. Doing more faster usually feels like the more innovative way to get to success. It's not.

Remember, doing small acts leads to more significant success in time. Stacking those little blocks can build on themselves.

In conclusion

If you don't have an overarching idea of what you want your life to feel like, you won't get all you desire. Some favorable aspects can happen by chance and fit into your vision, but a good life you yearn for takes planning and intention most of the time.

Here’s the truth: People who get what they want tend to be the ones who make the effort to know what they want. -Martha Beck

I'm nearly there with my goals of love, freedom, and creativity. The freedom part is still taking time, though, like my dream of not working a day job but choosing to solely because it interests me.

I have more flexibility in my life right now because I know what I'm looking for and can make decisions based on my vision. You can do this too.

Choose your three words to yearn for in life and start taking the steps and strides, like Vera Wang, down the runway towards them. Make sure to carry patience on your back. You'll get there eventually and realize everything you desire is already surrounding you.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

What You Could Be Missing About Writing on Medium

It's more than making money

Writers keep saying Medium is dying. It's not like it used to be and will never return. If you can't make good money here, why stick around?

I've been on Medium off and on for five years now, and I wish I were more active here a few years ago. You know, when writers were bringing in the big bucks. About a year ago, I started posting regularly, and I've seen slight growth in my earnings but nothing over $100 yet.

My stats have plummeted, like a lot of writers here, and I can't seem to get the attention I had even six months ago.

I'm still staying on the platform and putting time into writing on Medium.

Here are a few reasons why.

You can write whatever you like

Writing on Medium is the perfect place to sharpen your skills. Think about it. You can choose to share, teach, and tell stories about anything.

I love that I can bring up a topic I'm interested in and give my take on it. And for the most part, people will read.

Sure, it's tempting to get excited about possibly making thousands of dollars on the platform, but we should focus on what's important—improving as writers and having fun at the same time.

Medium will keep making changes

Another day, another change on Medium. Get used to it and keep writing. We can get as upset or excited as we want, but the fact is, the platform is growing and needs to adjust.

Sometimes it will work in our favor, and sometimes it won't. We can't change the fact that Medium is a business and will frequently make decisions that seem cold.

Your articles don't have to become cold, though. When you have fun writing, readers will notice. They'll also appreciate your honest, positive words as they try to navigate not only Medium but this crazy world in which we live.

Flow with the changes and continue to rise above with writing that's creative and authentically you, and watch your work last for years—no matter where you write.

Your pay will fluctuate

Depending on Medium earnings to pay your bills is a tough road. If you can position yourself with multiple streams of income from other jobs or platforms, do it.

You can't predict if your articles will generate a ton of money each month or not. Looking at your stats every 30 minutes isn't going to make them go up. Consistently producing good work every week is the main road to improving and attracting attention.

Stats won't matter as much if you do not depend on Medium for money.

It's easier to deal with the lean times when you have many different areas where your pay comes from. Try using Convertkit to start an email list. I've had one for my comics for many years but just started adding articles and advice to my newsletters. It's fun, and new people are subscribing.

My goal is to build up loyal readers who feel they receive value from my work, and I can reach out to them when I have new books or courses ready to release. A.K.A., a built-in audience.

You can make more money from freelancing

I bet my blog writing skills would snowball if I went after freelance clients. When I did this in the past, it was enjoyable to work on different projects and learn about companies to write for them. Enjoyable but with very little freedom.

The fact that I can choose a topic that interests me on Medium—not based on what a client decides—and put my spin and style on it is magnificent. I can even add illustrations I created, like in this article.

If I want to make more money, I can go back to freelancing.

Or take on a few assignments on Upwork or through LinkedIn for several months and then stop. All the while, I'm writing on Medium to get better at honing my voice and writing style.

Most of all, I'm having fun.

In conclusion

Write on Medium for the experience and pure joy of sharing what you love. When you start craving more money, start freelancing for a while to help keep your passion for Medium alive.

Decide what you're writing for and base your daily writing habit around that idea. Right now, I'm all about getting better and finding my voice. There are several topics I love writing about, but I'm looking forward to discovering more.

Article writing is helping me get to know myself and my writing voice. I'm grateful to Medium for giving me that opportunity. And, I get to make a little extra money too.

Not a bad deal at all if you ask me.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

4 Reasons Your Hobby Should Not Become Your Business

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t have to be your side-hustle.

Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash

Let’s imagine you’re exhausted and up late working on an important personal project. The one that, once it’s out in the world, will put you on the map and attract attention. With some luck and a little bit of success, your dream of quitting your day job could come true.

Then what? You get to do that every day, all day? Is this really the future you’re hoping for?

Why can’t this be something you do for fun?

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t mean it has to become your job.

I know that’s counter-intuitive to what everyone’s touting online today, but it’s true. Your hobby shouldn’t always become your business.

I’m sure you’re good at many things. It doesn’t mean you have to turn them all into side-hustles that turn into big-time companies.

Unfortunately, I’ve learned this the hard way. My love for drawing comics and writing has led me to pursue making money from them as a side-hustle. It’s not as fun as it’s cracked up to be. Between deadlines, prospecting for clients, and balancing my work and projects with family responsibilities.

We live in a time now, with the internet giving us opportunities to easily share work with the world, where people think you should “Do what you love, and the money will follow.”

We all feel like we’re missing out if we don’t have a passion and pursue it for profit.

Contrary to popular belief, making money with what you love is hard. Does it have to be your goal? Here are four reasons why you might not want to turn your hobby into a business.

1. Hobbies should be fun

Why do you love doing your hobby? If it brings you a sense of joy, for example, isn’t that enough?

If all of your needs are being met by your day job, perhaps adding on more work to make your hobby into a business isn’t worth the extra stress and commitments.

Your hobby should be — and stay — enjoyable. Something you look forward to escaping into and forgetting about the outside world.

I remember my grandfather had several hobbies. He enjoyed making the most delicious fudge and giving it as gifts to family and friends. Should he have opened up a business selling fudge out of his kitchen? Not necessarily.

I doubt he enjoyed it enough to add on all the extra responsibilities involved with a bakery business.

He mainly wanted something fun and fulfilling to do in his leisure time. Making fudge brightened his days and added a little sweetness to others. For him, that was enough.

Knowing you can go deep into something at your own pace, where you think clearly and feel at ease, is a blessing. Don’t complicate it.

“I can elect something I love and absorb myself in it.”
― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931–1934

2. Making it a business turns it into work

We don’t always know if what we love to do will be something we enjoy doing full-time. It takes experience, yes, but also honesty. Do you love your hobby so much that you wouldn’t mind regularly dealing with the business's complex, tedious, boring parts?

If you want to turn your hobby into a business, it will become work.

Drawing comics full-time has been a goal of mine since I was a kid. Even though I know it’s one of the most challenging forms of art to make good money in, I still go after it. I’ve had to take on other jobs to pay the bills when comics weren’t bringing in enough, and most of the time, comics would become my side-hustle.

Becoming a professional at anything means learning to work even when you’re not in the mood.

I learned to do that by making comics and pushing through the “resistance” in my head when it would try and hold me back from not only getting art done but taking care of more administrative tasks.

Now, I know I can be a professional comic artist because I like the day-to-day work involved. I haven’t reached my full-time goal yet, but I’ve had years of freelance experience to get a good idea of what it would feel like.

When you put your hobby to the test, by intentionally treating it like a business, you’ll be able to feel whether or not it’s something you could do as your job.

I get it. You might need a side-hustle right now. It could be that a side income is vital to save money or pay for outstanding bills. Does your hobby have to be the way you make that money, though?

There’s nothing wrong with getting a part-time job in retail or driving for Lyft for a certain amount of time — think seasonal work — to save up enough for you to get back into a good place.

Do anything you can to keep your hobby as an outlet and a source of release.

3. Should you monetize your obsession?

People can get way too into their hobbies. Like collecting memorabilia or toys, for example. Nothing wrong with those hobbies, but I’ve seen friends lose their minds over a piece of plastic. If you’re obsessed with a hobby, can you think straight enough to make it a business?

Will you identify all of yourself as that hobby if you make it a business and carry unrealistic expectations on your shoulders? For example, “I’m a writer now, so I must write every day for five hours, or I’m a failure.”

Sometimes we love a hobby so much; it becomes an obsession. If you can’t stop painting portraits of politicians to make a statement, and no one can give you feedback or suggestions on how to grow because you refuse to listen. Maybe this shouldn’t be your business.

You need to be open to pivot and take on new ideas when things aren’t succeeding for a business to work. If you can only do things your way because this hobby is everything to you, it should probably stay a hobby.

“Whatever you like to do, make it a hobby and whatever the world likes to do, make it a business.”
-Warren Buffett

4. Be selfish when it comes to your hobby

Keep something just for you. You don’t even need to share what you make or create with anyone. Let your hobby remain an outlet for life’s frustrations and hide it for yourself. If you need to share it with someone who has more experience and gives you feedback, great.

I bet there are plenty of creative people who work professionally and never show it to anyone. That way, it’s for themselves. Or, they keep it for their family and friends. If one of those people wants to buy from them or support the work, they can.

A few years ago, I was learning to play the ukulele. I wanted to do it for fun with no expectations of performing live in front of strangers. It would be a relaxing hobby I didn't need to press myself to do professionally, like drawing comics.

I spent about two years practicing chords and learning songs on the uke. Having a hobby only for the fun of it was terrific. The only problem, music takes a regular committed effort to improve. Balancing work, drawing comics, and being a family man proved to be too much.

It hurt, but I had to stop playing the ukulele. I went from practicing every day to a few days a week, to only once a month. All of my time went into improving as an artist and not a musician.

Facing the hard truth—I didn’t have time for a musical hobby—was tough to face. But, I accepted it and put down the uke. Who knows, I hope to have time to get back to playing it again in the future when I have more time for myself.

Drawing in my sketchbook is purely for fun now. I don’t have to share my scribbles with anyone if I don't want to, and the practice makes me a better artist for the comics I share with the public. Hobbies can have a private and a public side if it helps keep you growing and feeling balanced.

In conclusion

All hobbies are not good businesses. Just about anything can be made into one, but you have to be honest with yourself about what you can handle.

Find a nice balance of interest in the subject matter, love of the creation process, and detachment from the perfection of the final result.

When you can look at your work objectively, share it with others, take criticism, make changes, and still enjoy what you’re doing. It might be the proper pursuit for you.

Try and keep these points in mind when deciding if your hobby should become a side-hustle:

• Hobbies should be for fun. If yours is mainly for fun and a way to relax and unwind, don’t make it a side-hustle.

• Making your hobby into a business turns it into work. Are you ready to deal with the not-so-fun parts of running a company connected to what you love?

• Don’t try and make money from your obsession. If you can’t even think straight while doing what you love because you’re so engrossed by it, maybe it should stay a hobby. It would be best if you could be objective about your work to grow it as a business.

• Keep your hobby to yourself if you choose. You don’t have to share it with anybody. Remember, I didn’t play the ukulele for people I didn’t know. It was my private hobby. One I’m looking forward to getting back to soon.

Make time for your hobbies in your leisure time to stay balanced and recharge. Let your interests become your job or side-hustle when you need one.

That way, you can enjoy what you do for a living and still have energy for your passions.

Struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly? Join my (free) email list and discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Are We Losing Our Creativity?

Science says yes, but it’s all in how you look at it.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

We’re getting less creative. The scientific studies say so.

According to the article, “Research Suggests We’re All Getting Less Creative and Scientists Think They Know Why” by Jessica Stillman in Inc. magazine, studies have shown creativity is on the decline.

People could care less about creativity.

From the article:

“A researcher at the University of William and Mary analyzed 300,000 Torrance Test scores since the ’50s. She found that creativity scores began to nosedive in 1990. She concluded that we’re now facing a ‘creativity crisis,” reported author Michael Easter on Medium recently.

Scores on standard tests of creativity have been declining for decades. Does this mean we’re screwed?

I doubt it.

We need to face some facts and update our idea of what it takes to be creative to grow as artists. Here’s what we know and what we can do.

Why we’re less creative

The answer is no surprise. We’re too busy and overstimulated by technology and endless entertainment possibility in media to be creative.

Scientists blame “our hurried, over-scheduled lives” and “ever increasing amounts of (time) interacting with electronic entertainment devices,” Easter explains.

With less open time to be bored and keep our minds open to thinking, our free time is filled with watching screens and just taking in the entertainment.

Cooking those ingredients we absorb through all the media we consume into creative ideas takes processing time. If we continually fill the bowl, there’s no space to mix. It would be best if you had time to let it all gel.

With all the distractions from entertainment on our screens today, it’s harder to be creative even when you want to be.

I understand our mindset nowadays. Why think of new ideas when there are so many people who already did it for us? Watch those subpar TV shows, play those video games, read books by other writers and thinkers and nod your head. Who needs their own opinion or artistic voice in the world when there are so many already putting theirs out there?

With all the distractions from entertainment on our screens today, it’s harder to be creative even when you want to be. You’re forced to put more effort into shutting out influencers and doing things the way you feel is right.

On the other hand, if you’re looking to become more creative, there’s much more access to various examples of art, writing, music available to inspire and grow as a creative artist than there ever was in history.

You have the opportunity to learn from experienced creatives on platforms like YouTube, Medium, and anywhere you can search on the worldwide web.

Even though the internet makes it easier to learn and share your work, my concern is whether or not what we’re putting out is unique.

Pretty without personality

Are algorithms on social media platforms determining what’s worth your time and weeding out creative work? Probably.

Plenty of creative writers and artists out now aren’t getting seen because the algorithm pushes them behind other artists who know how to appeal to the masses.

In visual art, everyone looks like the stereotypical Anime art style. I’m not seeing enough blends of styles that look unique to one artist. Everything is looking the same. Well drawn, but the same.

When I was a kid in the 80s, it was a thrill to find a book on drawing comics or read one magazine on illustration.

I think art and especially illustration is beautiful to look at nowadays. Young people have access to physical art supplies and digital through iPads and computer software like Photoshop.

Tutorials by successful artists are all over YouTube, so learning from the best costs zero dollars and just a bit of your time. If you’re willing to put in the time to practice and grow your skills, your art will improve by leaps and bounds.

When I was a kid in the 80s, it was a thrill to find a book on drawing comics or read one magazine on illustration. Getting free instruction videos wasn’t available, but we had more illustrations in media like newspapers, magazines, and album covers.

I could take in the different art styles and reverse engineer what artists used to create their work and composed their pieces. My work may come out looking awful as a result. Or, it could grow into something pleasing to look at with my personality woven throughout every stroke of the pen—by adding more trial and error.

When will the sameness end?

One way I’ve seen this creativity reduction is in young people when I’m teaching art. I’ve worked in schools and with students from elementary to high school age.

I hate to admit; there’s a lot of sameness in the look of their work. For example, the influence of Japanese anime and manga styles is prominent.

As someone who lived in Japan, to study manga art style, I understand the allure. However, when I read or heard from artists there, they would always say their goal is to find their own unique art style.

The distinctive way they draw and tell their stories is what makes them popular. Trying to look like another artist is where you start, but it shouldn’t be your end goal.

Clearly, I’m a fan of anime and manga. I’ve drawn plenty of it but intending to learn new approaches to making comics and growing my individual style.

For a career where people are drawn to your art, whether it be illustrations, paintings, or graphic design, your unique flavor needs to shine through.

I’m not sure the young people I teach see it that way. Their goal tends to be to make it look as much like a popular manga they’re reading than to get their own take.

Why must everything be made in that style? As an art teacher, one of my goals is to inspire students to study various artists and styles. Please copy what you see but combine from different sources to build your unique look.

Most drawings from students look like the stereotypical Anime art style. I’m not seeing enough blends of styles that look unique to one artist. Everything is the same. Well drawn, but the same.

Drawing anime style makes everything into a formula. You draw the eyes this way, the shape of the head and hair that way. If you can draw it right, your art will look just like anime and be considered good.

Here’s the thing—I think it’s great to have the ability to draw in a manga style. If you want to draw comics on Webtoon or work in manga publishing or for an animation company that makes anime, that’s perfect. Keep it as a skill in your toolbox.

Your unique flavor needs to shine through for a career where people are drawn to your art, whether in illustrations, paintings, or graphic design.

It’s a challenge for students to develop creative ideas and execute them in their own way. Good. It’s supposed to be that way. It’s how you grow creatively.

All of us, especially young people, should accept the struggle and embrace how it will help them get to where they want to be as artists. Having every bit of entertainment on demand has made it difficult to have patience with growth.

Even with research and examples from master artists, it’s difficult to take risks and combine ideas to make something unique. That’s okay.

Struggle leads to breakthroughs.

Drawing anime style makes everything into a formula. You draw the eyes this way, the shape of the head and hair that way. If you can draw it right, your art will look just like anime and be considered good. It takes the uncertainty out of drawing. If you compare it to what anime is supposed to look like, and yours fits the bill, you’re a good artist.

As art students grow older and pursue a career in the arts, they’ll need to compete with others for jobs. Their style should look more unique will pull them out of the anime trap and hopefully discover what elements make their art their own.

Writing books and articles could be seen similarly. We can be inspired by articles like the one I’m writing right now but put our own spin on it coming from our experiences.

Nothing’s wrong with copying the voice of another writer, as long as your goal is to sound unique down the line.

Look at creativity in a different way

I believe we see less creativity, but I know plenty of artists do unique work that should be seen.

We have more time, in the U.S. at least, to be creative compared to, say, one hundred years ago. People were too busy surviving and working their butts off to think about adding more creativity to their work. Not to mention all the gatekeepers you had to get approval from to have your work published or placed in an art gallery.

Today, we can take complete control of our artistic careers if we’re willing to learn the ropes of running a creative business.

More creatives are making money, sharing their work with millions, and building something sustainable at this time.

If it’s just about good ideas, maybe we’re not revolutionizing as much right now. But I’m sure we have more opportunities to be creative and make something of our work compared to fifty years ago.

Make space for creativity

Maybe we’re becoming less creative, but it doesn’t mean you have to believe your work lacks value. The world needs your voice and art to inspire and help us become better, more well-rounded individuals.

You have more personal choices than ever before, so work with your mind to make sure you move forward artistically.

If you have to turn off the TV and social media to focus on your art or writing—do it. Being a more creative person and sharing what you make with the world is all on you. Here’s what the Inc. article suggests we do to increase our chances of being more creative:

Actively scheduling time to think, reflect, and experiment into your days, putting reasonable boundaries on your use of passive tech, varying your routine and your company, and getting out for more long walks can all help ensure you’re bucking the trend and nurturing your personal creativity.

Give yourself quiet time to think and reflect. Mold what you take in through media into golden creative inspiration. Have a goal of creating unique work that reflects who you are as a person.

Everyone else may be becoming less creative, but it doesn’t have to be you.

Three Sentences to Keep You Smiling When You’re Crazy Busy

Quick advice to refocus your mind

Admit it. We’ve all said, “There’s so much I have to do today!” more than we’d like. You start going through the list in your head as the stress builds like bricks piling up on your shoulders.

How can you lighten your mental load?

When I’m not teaching my students directly, there are countless responsibilities I could be taking care of while in my classroom, like planning, grading, and answering emails. Not fun and exciting, but they have to get done.

I love writing articles, and when you’re trying to keep up with a day job and family life, making time for creating can feel like a burden. Forgetting all it took to get to this place, remembering the privilege I have to do what I do each day can get lost in the shuffle of a long to-do list.

Life feels overwhelming, for sure. You do need a good attitude to make the best of it, though. Here are three phrases to help pull you back into the right mindset.

1. Stop telling yourself, you have to—say you get to

You get to write articles you enjoy that help others. The reason you have all of those tasks at work is because of all the effort you’ve put into getting there, and you get to do them.

You get to live the life you worked hard for all these years.

Does this mean you’ll never get tired, frustrated, or fed up? No. We all do at times. Finding the proper perspective on challenges in your personal and professional life can bring your mind back to a gratitude mindset.

Our attitude changes once we experience how it feels to reframe our beliefs by simply thinking differently about them. We begin feeling grateful for what we have and why we’re running around crazy.

Even family responsibilities can drive me nuts, but I smile when I think of everything I “get” to do. There was a time I was alone and dreamed of marrying the woman of my dreams. I remember wishing for a healthy child. Now that I have both, it’s easy to take them for granted.

If you’re guessing it’s because marriage and parenting are hard as hell, you’d be right. They can also be the most rewarding craziness you’ll ever get yourself into.

Keeping your blessings in mind makes getting through the tough times easier.

2. Search for the good

What are you looking for out of life? If you’re always expecting the worst, you might get it. Am I right? Why look for the bad in your everyday life when you can search for the good?

All it takes is intention. Choose to find more good than bad in your busy life or current situation.

You can see those four different projects you’re juggling at work as a chore or a good reason to show the company that you’re talented and capable. It might lead to a promotion or interesting work in the future.

One good aspect I like about being overwhelmed is it’s a learning process. Most likely, if you don’t give up, you come out on the other side with new skills or more knowledge about your limits.

You grow.

Knowing that feels good. In fact, growing as a person and giving of your talents is what life’s all about.

3. Is this necessary?

You’ve heard the phrase “Seek and ye shall find.” What if you’re seeking stress without realizing it. There could be a better way. Like, doing less or changing your schedule to give more time to breathe.

Asking yourself if the actions you take are necessary, you instantly begin thinking through why you’re doing it and if there are better strategies.

Keep in mind; there are boring tasks in just about any profession, long-term relationship, or creative field. You can minimize them by hiring someone to help, but you’ll still need to understand each facet of your business to succeed.

You should also like the business or relationship you’re in. I’m not talking about only what you create, teach, or sell. I mean what it represents.

Is this making you or the world better? If not, switch careers and enter the one that spreads more good and makes a positive difference.

It all comes down to the question, are you spending your time on things moving you forward or holding you back?

When you look at it from the lens of what actions directly benefit you, cutting out the unnecessary should get a lot easier. Stop doing what’s sucking your energy and give it to someone else. If you can’t do that, can you let it go?

Being inundated with chores and responsibilities is the way for most of our adult lives. It doesn’t have to feel laborious every second of the day.

Try looking at it differently at the moment and reframing your thinking.

Expect to get better. The more you can imagine yourself climbing a ladder to more success keeps you in a winning mindset.

And a smile on your face.

First, They Call You a Fool, Then They Call You Brilliant

Illustrated by the author.

Taking risks that make sense to you may look crazy to others.

Two years ago, I quit my secure art teaching job for a position as a copywriter at a large medical device company. In the middle of the school year, no less—not a wise move in education.

Most teachers wait to leave until June, when they’ve completed a full school year. A great idea if you’re moving to another teaching job. Unfortunately, the corporate world isn’t on the same schedule.

I was scared about what this might do to my teaching career but ready to tackle a new challenge in a different profession.

I worked as a freelance copywriter for more than two years while teaching full-time and was ready to transition into writing more and teaching less. Leaving education at the mid-point of the year wasn’t ideal, but I knew this opportunity would be a good one.

This doesn’t sound too crazy you might think.

I didn’t mention yet, the new copywriter job was a temporary contract position for three months with only a possibility for extension. I was taking a huge risk.

Some people called me a fool. Others, were openly encouraging, but I bet were thinking to themselves I must have lost my mind.

What if I sucked, and they didn’t extend my contract past three months? Working as a contractor can turn into a permanent position, though. They might love the work I do for them and hire me on. Would I be able to get a job in education again if this position didn’t work out?

Even I felt a little crazy. Some days I was thinking, “What am I doing?” Inside, though, I had a feeling it would all work out.

You’re always a fool until you’re brilliant

I follow matchmaker and business columnist Paul Carrick Brunson on LinkedIn and he posted this video talking about his experience with being called a fool for taking risks in his personal life and career. Until he became a success and everyone switched and starting calling him brilliant.

He invested his wife’s savings in his matchmaker business. They called him a fool. He pulled his kids out of school to homeschool them. Foolish, they said.

According to Paul, he was called a fool for fifteen years before it all changed. Now, he’s interviewed regularly on television and people are incredibly impressed with his advice and the success he’s accomplished in his business.

The thing is, this praise only started in the past five years. The first fifteen, he was called a fool. If Paul had given up and listened to the naysayers, he wouldn’t have made it past “fool” status to “brilliant” where he is now.

Have the courage to follow your inner guidance

You not only need the confidence to stick with what you know is right, but the patience to reap the benefits. We all want success to happen right away but good things take time.

Paul Carrick Brunson has been at it for twenty years. I was teaching for seventeen before moving into a corporate position. Having years of knowledge and experience can help you move out or back into a career when needed.

I’d love to tell you I’m still working the copywriting job at the tech company but when the pandemic hit, a hiring freeze ruined my chances of staying on. They did extend my original three month contract three more months. Then, added on another six months.

The medical device industry is difficult to write creatively in because of all the medical and legal regulations. You have to be very careful with the words you use and make sure to back up any promises or claims.

I was frustrated and wanted to leave after a year but something funny happened. The writing and business started making sense to me. I was getting good.

Fortunately, they extended my contract another six months. Unfortunately, the hiring freeze brought on by the fear and uncertainty of the pandemic lockdown meant I wouldn’t get a permanent position. They could only keep me for eighteen months in total, so I knew my time was running out.

I didn’t regret my decision to risk working as a contractor, though. My goal was to gain corporate experience at a tech company as a writer. My writing improved, I met amazing people, and learned a great deal.

Maybe it wasn’t the secure choice, but it was worth it.

Take the “calculated crazy” risk when you can

You know what you need to do to live the life you want. I bet it’s the opinion of others that’s slowing you down or making you feel like you’re crazy.

Ignore them. One thing I’ve learned over years of taking risks that looked kooky to others at the time but ended up working out in the end is, people will give you props and respect when you succeed.

As long as you have a plan and can see how where you’re going can provide new skills to help you become who you want to be, you’re golden.

People might not have understood your vision or goals at first, but when it all comes together, suddenly, you’re looked at as intelligent and resourceful.

Fine. Accept the kind words and don’t get upset with the fact that it took the time and effort it did. Stay in the game long enough to take risks where you win or lose, and keep going until you build something you’re proud of and garners respect.

One thing is true, the majority of people are afraid to go against what’s safe and secure.

Nothing is secure.

Even though taking calculated risks may look ridiculous to the average person. You don’t have to be an average person.

Don’t listen to the noise

My final point is one Paul Carrick Brunson pointed out in his video message. Don’t listen to the noise. Your friends and family care about you and mainly want the best, but they don’t understand your path.

You know what you have to do. They might not see it but that doesn’t mean they’re right. They care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt. Give thanks for them and ignore their negativity and fear. Do what you have to do.

As long as it’s well-thought-out and doesn’t harm anyone in the process, go for it. You can always make another decision later if it doesn’t go the way you hoped.

If only this type of confidence were easy. It’s not. To make it through, you may have to:

• Deal with feeling your heart pounding in fear in the beginning of your journey at the same time you’re holding your head up high to appear sure of yourself.

• Listen to other people’s negative comments about your choices while thinking of the reasons why you’re going about it this way so you stay confident.

• Remember, when times get tough, success is a marathon, not a sprint. It will all feel slow when you’re in the thick of it, but when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will all be rewarding.

I’m back teaching art again. My connections from previous schools helped me get a job in education after losing my copywriter position.

At first, I felt like a failure for only moving out of teaching for a year and a half and then having to go back. Then, I saw how what I learned transferred over to education. In fact, I was able to add communications onto my responsibilities by writing blogs and posting to social media for my school along with teaching art.

If I ever want to go back into copywriting in the future, I’ll always have the corporate experience I gained at the tech company to help.

Brilliant? You be the judge.

So far, it’s working well for me.

If You Could Get Married in a Pub in The Middle Ages, Why Expect so Much From Relationships Today?

Your spouse cannot, and should not, be your everything

People in medieval Europe just wanted to get it on. Or, they just wanted arranged marriages to make money for their families.

Marriage was about sex or status back in the middle ages.

We expect so much more from it now, which is lovely in some ways but can be damaging.

With the church having a great deal of power in medieval Europe, as a Christian, the only way to make sweet love to your partner without burning in hell was to marry them.

Fortunately, for couples back then, the rules were pretty loose.

The only requirement for a binding marriage was the consent of the two people involved—no need to ask your family or bring in a priest. You could get married just about anywhere at any time. Forget about witnesses. You didn’t need them.

Wanna get married at your buddy’s house down the street? At the local pub? How about in bed? Sure! No problem.

You got married so you could make love whenever you wanted and take care of each other. Plenty of relationships were arranged, sometimes before the couple even meets each other, to help the families gain status or money.

Having concerns about falling in love or fulfillment wasn’t the main focus. I believe in love, but I also feel we’re taking our ideas of what marriage can do for us too far.

We expect far too much from marriage

Discovering this enlightening bit of history made me think about how much we expect from marriage today. I believe in taking it seriously and honoring its sanctity. Still, I bet people would enjoy the bonds of marriage more with a little less weight stacked on top.

I’ve been married for over fifteen years to my amazing wife, and even though we’ve been through ups and downs, I’m glad we’ve stayed together. We both choose every day to make the relationship better or work together on issues that need improvement.

My wife and I view marriage this way because we both had divorced parents when we were kids. I think it forces us to look at our relationship every day and ask, “Is this worth breaking up over?”

We know how it feels not to have both parents together, so we constantly check ourselves over what’s most important.

Unlike in medieval times, we are blessed with so much because life is much easier now. We think marriage should fulfill us physically and spiritually. Our partners should be our everything. Having children should be a magnificent blessing that improves our lives tenfold.

Many people think uniting with another should wash away their pain and make life easier.

Until we actually do all of these things and realize that married life with children is complicated and stressful. Heck, I have only one child, and everything is crazy. Imagining raising multiple kids fills me with anxiety.

Yes, family life is more fulfilling, and you can have a great deal of fun if you work together as partners, but life is not easier. In a lot of ways, it’s more complicated.

The only way to end a marriage in the middle ages was to prove it never existed. All the experiences, time, and effort you put into building something together with someone — erased.

I know people still do this today by getting an annulment. Still, the fact that we have more choices now can make you think about what you plan to get from vowing to stay true to only one other person for life.

Are your expectations even realistic?

Lower your expectations and become flexible

Maybe you desire certain things from your partner because you watched your parents growing up doing or trying to be that for each other. Does that mean it’s okay?

Have you decided love means your wife makes dinner for you every night or your husband must make a certain amount of money?

Marriage can look the way you both decide. Try lowering your expectations brought on by childhood and talk about what your actual needs are. This might not look like a traditional marriage. Your parents might disagree, but if how you live together is safe and works for you, go for it.

If you’re unhappy with how much your partner is giving to you, try cutting in half what you expect from them. Decide what’s most vital for you to feel loved, and ask your partner for more of those one or two aspects.

Your spouse cannot, and should not, be your everything.

Do you think married couples in the middle ages were concerned their partner isn’t there emotionally for them twenty-four hours a day?

They were too busy trying to survive. Life now may feel much more manageable than back then, but the truth is, we’re all still trying to survive. In nicer homes with more comfort — but it’s survival nonetheless.

Giving your marriage all you’ve got but at the same time relaxing your expectations is challenging but possible. Most relationship issues can be worked out by being open with your partner and having uncomfortable yet honest conversations.

An exception will be if you’re with someone physically or verbally abusing you. That is a reason to leave. No one should keep trying to keep a relationship alive with someone who treats them like trash.

Of course, sometimes a marriage should end. I get it. I’ve had relationships back when I was dating, where we parted for various reasons. Breakups are hard. I believe most bad marriages can survive, though.

Let’s say you both want drastically different things out of life, and you’re moving in different directions. I can see that pulling a marriage apart.

Being open with each other about your needs and where you’d like to go in life makes it easier to figure things out. I bet you could work something out if you’re both committed to being flexible.

You could decide to follow and support your partner as they pursue their needs for a set number of years, and then you get a chance next, and then they help you. This means you’ll have to slow down what you’re pursuing for a time, but when your spouse moves forward, you’re there with them, knowing you helped along the way. Then, it’s your turn to push ahead.

When you take the commitment aspect of marriage seriously but keep an open mind about how it should look and feel depending on your needs, you’ll make better decisions.

Married life may be more complicated today compared to the middle ages. But with more freedom and choices in our society, we have to choose to take full responsibility.

Get better at choosing what marriage will look like together with your partner, and you’ll be centuries ahead of the crowd

My Health Took a Nosedive After the Second Vaccine Shot

Was over a month of sickness worth it?

Photo taken by the author.

We should all get vaccinated. It’s the right thing to do for you and for your country.

Even if this story sounds like I don’t trust them, I believe in vaccines. Unfortunately, my experience didn’t go the way I thought it would.

The first dose was no problem. Everyone told me it wouldn’t be all that bad, so I wasn’t worried. I was thrilled to get the second dose of the Moderna vaccine — even more excited when a few days after it, I didn’t have serious side effects. Feeling exhausted and a bit lightheaded didn’t bother me all that much. I didn’t have any flu-like symptoms — until day ten.

They tell you to wait until fourteen days after the second shot to know you’re protected. I was ready to enjoy that relief, but all I got was a fever of 105 degrees and chills that shook my body for hours.

I’m a teacher, and this all started in the middle of my spring break when I should be relaxing and enjoying life without planning lessons and managing a full schedule. Instead, I was buried under a pile of blankets to stop myself from shivering like crazy.

My wife and I didn’t think about this having anything to do with the vaccine because so many days passed. When I started feeling nauseous and throwing up, then dry heaving, we figured it was something else.

What we all fear right now came into our heads, “Do I have Covid? But I’m fully vaccinated!” and we called the advice nurse to try and get a clue what was going on. They weren’t sure what I had, but I knew something was off. Each day, I called the nurse hotline for three days as my fever remained, and I felt like crap.

On the fourth day, finally, I talked with a doctor. They heard all of my symptoms and simply said, “Get to the emergency room right now.” So, the family jumped in the car, and we drove to the hospital.

Little did I know, this would not be my only time in the E.R.

Emergency room visit #1- Test after test to find the answer

Fortunately, it wasn’t extremely busy at the hospital when we arrived. Still, it was upsetting that, due to covid, they could only allow one family member in with me. Which meant, since both my wife and daughter (who’s too young to be left alone) came, I would need to go in alone.

My heart sank as they rammed a long Q-tip up my nose for the covid test, making my eyes water insanely, and took my blood pressure. My family waited outside, and we waved goodbye to each other through the window as the nurse brought me into the E.R. room.

Talk about a day of discomfort. I was hooked to an I.V. and given fluids into my right arm while a blood pressure monitor was placed around my left arm to check me every thirty minutes. No one knew exactly what was wrong, so they decided to do a bunch of tests.

From blood tests to urine. A rather uncomfortable finger-poke in the bum to check my prostate, a chest X-ray, to a C.T. scan of my mid-section — I felt like an alien species they needed to study for the benefit of science.

After seven hours of poking and prodding, the doctors finally found the cause of my sickness. They didn’t think it was covid and thought I might have problems with my lungs. It turned out I had a prostate infection called Prostatitis. This prostate inflammation was causing all the high fevers and feeling sick to my stomach.

I asked if this had anything to do with receiving the second dose of the vaccine. Not surprisingly, the doctor denied any vaccine connection to my condition.

Considering that the sickness started ten days after, they said it’s most likely some other reason. I didn’t change anything about my life, though, and I’m usually a pretty healthy guy. The only new addition was the Moderna vaccine poke. Could it have changed something about my body chemistry and brought on this prostate inflammation?

I’m not a doctor, so I didn’t argue. “What do I know?” I thought. The vaccine is basically a medical miracle. So, I’m pretty sure no doctor wants to connect any severe side effects if they can avoid it. So, I nodded and smiled under my mask so they could finish up and release me to go home.

You know how easy it is to get sucked into researching when health issues pop up. I learned that the Moderna vaccine causes inflammation in the skin. Is it far-fetched to think inflammation could occur inside the body? Like in the prostate? I bet it’s possible.

Emergency room visit #2- One problem leads to another

I’m not someone who gets sick all that often. Having to go to the hospital every week while on antibiotics to get blood work done was, I must say, less than enjoyable. What did the doctors think would happen while dealing with a prostate infection?

I’ll tell you — my urine turned brown, and I was freaking out. That can’t be good. Right? This is over a week after my first E.R. visit. I got an email from the doctor saying she looked at my latest blood test, and my liver enzymes and creatine kinase (C.K.) levels were super high. Normal C.K. levels should be at about 55 when mine were at…150,000!

My doctor politely encouraged me to “Get to the emergency room as soon as possible.” There I went again. Going through the process and giving blood and urine tests as doctors ask me what’s going on. Asking did I exercise heavily that week or are prone to seizures.

This made no sense to me, but one doctor put it all together.

I told them about the intense shaking I had, for hours, with the chills at the beginning of the infection. Apparently, that was similar to having a seizure, and it taxed my muscles to the max.

The doctor said I had Rhabdomyolysis or, Rhabdo as all the nurses and doctors were calling it. Everyone who talked to me said I didn’t look all that bad, but this condition is severe. Rhabdo occurs when damaged muscle tissue releases its proteins and electrolytes into the blood. These substances could damage the heart and kidneys and cause permanent disability or even death.

Death? Good gracious!

You have to drink loads of water and Gatorade throughout the day to hydrate and flush out the toxins. I put down plenty of liquids, and most days, it never seemed like enough. I was constantly thirsty. Not to mention, my body felt like I had arthritis, a low level of pain and discomfort as I moved, and generally feeling exhausted.

You can’t exercise while healing from Rhabdo either. Only going for walks. Definitely no weight training or running.

It would take a few weeks for my body to work through the Rhabdo and get back to functioning at 100%. I decided not to take time off from teaching because it’s too close to the end of the school year. My plan was to take time for rest each day and pace myself. Then, when school is out for the summer, rest and relax like a boss.

Looking back now, maybe I should have taken a week or two off because I landed back in the E.R. yet again.

Emergency room visit #3- Fainting right into an ambulance

The two weeks of antibiotics were done, and I felt grateful that I’m most likely healed from the prostate infection. I would only need to get through Rhabdo and not need to go to the hospital again. I was so tired of seeing the E.R.

I got up at 2am one night to pee, feeling a bit dizzy, and afterward, while washing my hands, I felt lightheaded, and my face looked pale. Not good. As I walked back to my bed, I sat on the edge before lying down because it was difficult to breathe.

I blacked out and fell flat on the floor. My wife woke up and was in shock, running over to help. My daughter bolted out of her room and followed suit. This must have been a nightmare for them, not knowing what’s going on with me. They tried helping me stand up, even though I have no memory of this, and I passed out again. When I got up and blacked out a third time, my wife called the paramedics.

Fortunately, they arrived within five minutes and put me into the ambulance. Once again, due to covid, only one person could come with me to the hospital, so that meant both my wife and daughter had to watch me leave but were not allowed to ride along. I’m so thankful for them helping me and calling 911 so quickly. Having my daughter get traumatized by watching her father faint and get carried away on a stretcher was not a memory I wanted for her childhood.

The paramedics took good care of me and noticed that my blood pressure dropped very low. Probably due to the side effects of Rhabdo and my blood pressure medication was plunging it down even further.

Back to the arm wrapped in a blood pressure monitor and the other on the I.V. fluids in an uncomfortable bed in the E.R., It was starting to feel like my second home. I even recognized a few nurses. They told me to stop taking one of my B.P. meds, the hydrochlorothiazide, that makes me pee more to get rid of salt. I needed to keep as much fluid inside of me as possible while healing from Rhabdo.

I was only in the E.R. for a few hours this time, and my family could pick me up at 6am. Don’t worry, I took a day off from work and rested. It was a Friday morning, so I had the weekend to take it easy.

Final Thoughts- Was the vaccine worth all the discomfort?

I’m still healing, feeling weak and tired, combined with that odd all-over-body discomfort that can make me feel like crying at times. At forty-six years old, This is the first time I’ve been through something this lousy health-wise. Over a month of discomfort. All after getting the second dose of the Moderna vaccine.

If I knew then what I know now, would I get the vaccine again?

Yes. In a heartbeat.

What I’ve been through was tough. When I think about what people who’ve battled through Covid-19 have endured, this doesn’t seem so bad. Plus, knowing that I’m helping to slow the spread of the virus helps me feel like a member of a worldwide family.

I know what you’re thinking. The doctor said none of this was from the vaccine. Okay. That’s probably true. Maybe it was all bad timing, but my wife and I have been together for almost twenty years, and she’s never seen me this sick.

When you get your vaccine, I genuinely hope you won’t have to go through what I experienced. Thank you for taking the risk to help yourself, your family, and your community if and when you get it. I was unlucky, but most of my friends and family were okay.

As I heal from a series of health problems, the U.S. is opening up, and things are looking better for schools and businesses. I’m thankful to have been a part of helping by getting my two jabs.

One Concept a Teacher in Art School Gave Me That Changed My Life

And could help you reach your goals.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Walking into the art studio with my finished clay project in hand, I knew it was the best work I’d done in a long time. With other classes and homework to complete that week, I didn’t put much time into this one. Still, I was sure its creativity and energy would impress my professor.

Compared with sculptures from other students in class that day, I could tell theirs looked technically better. Mine had all the vitality, though!

I might have finished it quickly, but it was eye-catching.

The professor was surely going to give me a high grade and plenty of praise. Maybe even talk about how good it is to the rest of the class.

Little did I know, I was about to learn a lesson that would stick with me for the rest of my life.

When the teacher entered and started walking around the class, checking in with each student, I was hoping she would get to me last. I wanted her to be amazed by my brilliance after looking at the others.

I could see her face as she spotted my sculpture, my powerful piece of a man in a running pose with a loose shirt moving in the wind. Her head cocked to the side as she slowly approached my table. After pausing for a brief moment, she said, “The pose is dynamic, with a nice solid structure, but make sure to put more time and effort into your craftsmanship.”

Hold on a second. What kind of praise was that?

She liked it but wanted me to spend more time on details and making it look finished; she continued telling me further to make it a better quality final product. She was basically calling it energetic rubbish.

The professor used this opportunity to turn to the class and discuss the importance of craftsmanship. Right in front of my art — clearly, the example of what not to do.

I learned the importance, that day, of putting more effort into the finished product and calming my ego.

I thought all of the energy in my work would speak for itself. I didn’t understand how evident a lack of good craftsmanship can be in what you create. Needless to say, I was embarrassed and humbled.

Craftsmanship.

This word is one I would hear many times over my art education. The importance of craftsmanship and how that separates the novice from the professional.

Paying attention to details and putting in the time to create a quality piece of art was drilled into me after that. Fortunately, I learned to organize my time and put in the work.

Other than art, I believe we can use this concept to help improve our lives.

How to craft a life you love

After twenty years of creative life both here and abroad, I’ve found living with intention instead of haphazardly here and there helps bring what you desire.

Here’s a simple way to look at crafting your life.

Craftsmanship for success

Anytime life kicks you in the rear, or you feel you’re not going in the right direction, remember to put these three points into action.

1. Taking time to plan out goals in detail by writing them down and reading them daily

Put down all the possible ways these goals could be achieved and think about what connects them. Like creating a piece of art, you’re building the sketch or rough draft of your final product, working out the kinks, and developing a vision. Reading them to yourself as if you already have them, in the present, is like magic for attracting your desires.

2. Taking calculated risks instead of running from them

There’s no way around it. You must take risks if you want to succeed. Keeping them thoughtful and careful should be a part of your detailed goals. Even if you’re afraid, you will need to step out into the unknown at some point.

3. Taking time sculpting the life you want by consistently doing the work

Moving forward with consistent action will help your skills grow and give you more chances for luck. It might take more time filled with regular, daily work than you think, but you will reach success if you’re putting in the time regularly to produce.

Even when you’ve reached your goal, you should continue forward. There is no finish line. The work, the skills you learn, and the positive influence you have on others are how you measure success. If I can learn to put more effort into crafting a beautiful piece of art and apply it to my life, you can take a similar approach.

A successful life is an art, so start sculpting yours today.

What Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone Really Takes

Here’s a hint, it’s not only courage.

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

I have a friend who always talks about making significant changes in his life but never does. He says he wants to change careers and move to another city, but he avoids taking steps to make the leap.

Why?

I know you’re thinking he’s just afraid of the unknown, but I believe it’s more than that.

After spending the past twenty years of my life moving around and even living overseas in Japan, I know what motivated me to step out of my comfort zone.

I wish I could say it was because I’m so brave, and “risk” is my middle name. That’s not true at all. I’m actually afraid of change and scared of the unknown.

What drives me forward — and what my friend could use more of–is curiosity.

One of my goals is to ignite this spirit of curiosity when teaching my students and get them to ask more questions. Good questions lead to knowing more, seeing more, and ultimately experiencing more than what you have inside your bubble of safety.

Here’s the thing — even though it feels nice and warm in that bubble, your determination to discover more and get those questions answered will shove your fears aside. You’ll have the confidence to burst out of your comfort zone.

Fears will still be there, just not barking at you as loud as they were. You’ll have a reason that propels you forward and gives you the confidence to face uncertainty.

Curiosity charges up your “why” with more power than your fears.

Not only in making life moves, but in establishing new relationships. Suppose you’re looking to meet new friends or start dating again after a tough breakup. In that case, it’s been proven curiosity can be the key to personal growth.

Their study concludes that the degree to which people are curious actively influences their personal growth opportunities and the level of intimacy that develops when they meet someone new.

-Patricia Donovan

Sometimes “What if?” Looking back on my life, what if I was never curious about Japanese culture and language? I would never have had the balls to move there to teach English.

My interest in the Japanese language was strong. Still, I’ve always been too shy to speak other languages easily in front of people.

As the only foreigner in my town, living in Japan forced me to learn Japanese and speak it often. I had to push past my fears and face the embarrassment of mispronouncing words in front of native speakers.

What if, when another American teacher of English invited me to hang out with her new Japanese girlfriends and mentioned, “They’re both single!” and If I had said, “No, thanks.”

I would never have met my wife.

I needed to follow the curiosity and interest in who her friends were. Of course, they might have been people I didn’t get along well with, and we could have had a terrible time together. It was a risk I will take because I was curious.

Curiosity leads me overseas and to meeting the woman of my dreams. Travel and relationships aren’t easy, but they’re an example of how your life can change if you are interested in the wider world.

What about my friend who’s afraid of making changes? I wouldn’t give him unsolicited advice, but here are the benefits of curiosity I would share if he ever asks.

When you live with an active sense of curiosity:

You will never get bored

Having an interest in many new things means learning and adjusting regularly. Yes, the positive side effect is never getting bored.

How could you when you constantly have new experiences and relationships to navigate and explore?

If you ever run out of interest, ask more questions.

You will learn to embrace discomfort

There’s always going to be discomfort in any decision or path you choose to take. If you say it’s too scary and do nothing, you’ll have to deal with the discomfort of not reaching your goals.

When you decide to go for it, there’s also discomfort, but for something you really want.

Choose the discomfort that gets you closer to your dreams.

If you want to move forward in life, you’d better become familiar with and embrace the fear.

You will approach life with an open mind as a learner and observer

Living with curiosity also means you will have an easier time remembering information and a more accessible time learning skills connected with your new pursuits. As you learn more, you have a deeper understanding of how things work and why people are the way they are. You grow.

This will help open your mind and create even more questions you want answers to down the line. Each part of what you do in business and life will take on new meaning.

Conclusion

Live with curiosity. It hurts me to have friends who are not interested in experiencing more of what life offers just because of their fear. When you’re aware of your comfort zone, know that you can choose to step out and do more.

All you have to do is to be curious and follow where your questions lead you.

The “New Normal” Mindset: 3 Hard Truths About Post Pandemic Life

Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

I just got my first dose of the vaccine, the Moderna one, the other day and immediately felt relieved. “I’m safe.” I thought.

A few minutes later, I was back to fearing for my life.

Thankfully, I had no serious side effects, but a small amount of pain in my arm and feeling tired and low energy the next day. It’s all good now, though.

As a teacher, I should feel better, more positive at this point, right? I’m one of the ones getting vaccinated. There’s nothing else to worry about. I wish that were true.

I’m filled with concerns about going back into the classroom and getting exposed to COVID-19.

I’m lucky to have the opportunity to receive the vaccine. However, the risks and reasons for getting jabbed are still frightening. My work will require me to come back on campus in the next few weeks with other teachers and students who could be spreading the virus.

The reality of it all is frightening, but it’s something I realized we all need to be aware of and build up our mental and emotional strength to face. Living in our modern world means taking more risks with our lives than before.

The hard truths below may be uncomfortable to hear. They were for a person who’s mainly positive like me. After living in countries like Germany and Japan, I can take more of an “American looking from the outside in” approach to getting back to normal life. I want to help put your mind in a solid place where you’re looking at reality and facing it head-on.

Variants of the virus can kill us

Realizing this fact is like the “New Normal Mindset,” in my opinion. Accepting that you can’t hide from the virus. Even when deaths slow down, the virus itself will most likely continue to spread. You will need to go out in the world and face it. We will all live with the risk of getting sick, even when life looks normal again.

If variants of the virus keep popping up and most likely continue spreading in the states, even if you’re vaccinated, who knows how effective that will be on keeping you healthy if you get infected.

What bothers me the most is that as a teacher, I have to go back to work at some point soon, teaching remotely isn’t effective for most students, so if I want to support my family and eat, I have no choice but to take a risk on my life and health.

Going back will be after taking both vaccines in my case. Still, I’ve accepted the possibilities of getting seriously sick — and I ain’t no spring chicken. I’m 45 years old, so I’ve lived some life, and if you’re in my age group, you also need to be more concerned than someone in their 20's.

Americans need to get comfortable with wearing masks

I love America, but the freedom argument in this country has gone way too far. It’s only putting a mask over your face, not gagging your free speech. I know we don’t like someone telling us what to do, but let’s clarify that caring for others means putting the group’s needs first before the individual. The idea of risking your “freedom” by wearing a mask seems insane to me, but it’s what we need to do.

Wearing masks is something we’re all going to have to get used to over the next couple of years if we want to survive. Let’s hope new mask technology will be released to make this choice easier for those who can’t wear one for health reasons or refuse to wear one as their personal choice. Masks that are clear glass but do not fog up when you speak, for example, or some kind of clear mesh that fits comfortably, but you can see a person’s mouth move.

Like Japan, citizens of countries in Asia are comfortable wearing masks when they’re sick and need to ride on the train together or while working in the office. It’s seen as a sign of respect for others around you. When I was there, I appreciated that someone was making sure not to spread their germs to others.

You would think that over half a million deaths in America would wake people up to what’s important. Saving lives, not complaining about putting on a mask, something that benefits us all in the long run.

You are not the exception

One of the main reasons the virus spread so fast in the U.S. is that people didn’t believe they would get infected. Why? Because of exceptionalism. We think we’re special, untouchable even.

exceptionalism ĭk-sĕp′shə-nə-lĭz″əm

• n. The condition of being exceptional or unique.

• n. The theory or belief that something, especially a nation, does not conform to a pattern or norm.

• n. The state of being special, exceptional, or unique

Let’s stop exceptionalism thinking and start paying attention to reality. America is a phenomenal country, but it can get hit hard by a virus, terrorism, and, yes, even racist attacks on its own citizens. We are not above it all or so “woke” to not have dark and terrible events occur in our own backyards.

Feeling like a unique and special person is good for self-confidence, and we should make sure that also comes with a healthy dose of humility.

Adopt the new normal mindset and grow stronger

When you look at the world as it is and understand that there are some things you can’t change but must accept to stay alive and thrive, you’re in good shape. This crazy and scary reality may be one we have to navigate, but it’s how you think about it that will make the difference. I also dream of the days we can all meet again without social distancing and can hug our loved ones.

Even when that day comes, we will still be taking risks with catching the virus. Each new day is a chance to also practice a new normal mindset — it’s time we live with the truth and keep moving forward.

Want to Learn to Nap on a Train? Here’s how

Sometimes you need to sleep. I’m talking about amongst the people, on a train or bus, or even in the park. Life can be exhausting. Why can’t we do some of our recharging in public? 

Well, now you can, with this simple three-step method inspired by my years living in Japan. The word “inemuri” means being present while you sleep. It’s synonymous with sleeping on the job or in public places. The Japanese are so overworked that it’s become commonplace to see a large number of people sleeping just about anywhere.

Taking naps is said to be a good thing. Even though accepted in Japan, it’s not allowed at work—even though that rule is mostly ignored all the time. If you’re in a location where you can set an alarm to wake you, it’s relatively easy, but what if you’re on a train or the subway? Not waking up in time for your stop can be frightening. 

Listen in as our Japanese raccoon, Tanuki, from Fried Chicken and Sushi comics explores how to nap on the subway in three steps. 

1. Decide to give it a try with the intent to master inemuri with help from others.

2. Pick a friend or family member who you know would never let their guard down.

3. Ride on a train with a loudspeaker that penetrates your soul.

Great job! If you follow these Tanuki steps, you too will be sleeping on the train in no time. Just imagine the freedom you’ll have to get the rest you need anywhere you have to wait. 

Take these tips to the cafe, while waiting for your coffee, or to the DMV, waiting for your number to be called. There are so many uses, and you’ll feel well-rested and ready to tackle whatever life throws at you daily.

Now, get out there and nap.