4 Magical Life Lessons From a Japanese Animated Kids Film

How this Hayao Miyazaki movie can help you pare down your expectations and have a more fulfilling life.

Kiki's Delivery Service Image.jpeg

Moving to a new town, as a mere 13-year-old, to set up life as the local witch is Kiki’s goal in the charming animated film Kiki’s Delivery Service, directed by Hayao Miyazaki.

The only problem, she has very little money and only one magical power—flying on her broomstick.

How can she expect to make a successful life for herself, starting with so little? It’s easy at first. Do you know why?

She was open to meeting people and having new experiences. Not to mention living simply and using her unique gift to start a business.

I love animated movies by Studio Ghibli, but even after two years living in Japan, watching most of their animated films, I never viewed this one. It looked cute but didn’t pull me in like Princess Mononoke or Spirited Away.

My wife and daughter wanted to watch it for our “Family Movie Night,” and I tried not to groan. I slumped into my recliner, ready for the injection of sweetness into my veins.

To my surprise, it wasn’t as sweet as, say, Ponyo, but quite pleasant and full of adventure. In fact, the climactic final act was thrilling and expertly directed. I won’t give it away here, but if you’ve seen it, I bet you were on the edge of your seat.

Kiki’s life was one I admired. Not only because she had magical powers, believe it or not—but because she had confidence, freedom and wasn’t afraid to live a simple life while working towards her goals.

These four takeaways from Kiki’s Delivery Service could help you enjoy a more fulfilling life.

1. Live with only what you need

Kiki befriends the owner of a bakery and is offered a room out behind the store. It’s old, dusty and only has a rickety bed and one table. She takes it with gratitude, cleans it up, and recognizes all she needs is a place to sleep and eat.

When Kiki goes shopping with her black cat Jiji, she prepares him because they have very little money and will have to live on eating pancakes until she can earn more.

Pancakes, y’all.

I would have at least chosen salad. Either way, let’s appreciate that she has the confidence to know her situation will change in the future. There’s nothing wrong with living on very little when you start.

Is it just me, or is this idea losing favor in modern times? Are we turning away from meager beginnings with young people leaving college and just moving home with their parents?

Look, I know everyone expects to be poor when they’re in college, but what’s wrong with getting any job you can afterward and moving in with roommates? You learn a ton about life and what truly makes you happy.

We can take that into any season of life and look to remove the unnecessary.

From what I’ve seen from living over forty years of life, people keep acquiring more and building up taller mountains of stress.

Taking on the idea of living only with what you need applies to material possessions as well as your mental baggage. What beliefs about people and life can you discard from your thinking?

Do you need therapy to lighten your mental load? Have the courage to find a professional to talk with and let some of that go.

When I moved to Osaka, Japan, to teach English in Junior High Schools in my late twenties, I could only bring two suitcases with me even though I had a whole one-bedroom apartment full of stuff.

It was a pain to give away and sell all of that, but boy, did it help me feel lighter physically and emotionally. When I arrived in Osaka, in an old empty apartment, I felt like Kiki. Excited to be in a new place but scared of the unknown.

Fortunately, I had a job, but that was about it. Life was fresh, new, and very foreign.

I chose not to fill my apartment with furniture and kept it pretty bare-bones. It helped me think clearly and feel less stress from the culture shock of adjusting to a new country.

One thing you’ll notice is with all that space, you can think about the positives and negatives in your life. It might lead you down the road to depression.

If you end up down in the dumps emotionally, my next tip might help.

2. Use your unique talents to help others

Doing work that helps others is incredibly rewarding. What you do doesn't have to be complicated either. Take an honest look at yourself and find what makes you special or unique. You could also ask your friends or family members to tell you what they think you do well.

Pursue work that utilizes your talents and can add value to someone's life.

Kiki did this in the film. When she first moves to the little European town inspired by Visby, Sweden, she had no idea how to make money.

She was a witch but hadn’t learned spells or any other magic besides flying on her broom. Kind of like when you’re young and have only a small amount of life experience. She discovered that people could use help delivering packages around town.

So, she did just that. Of course, not without her challenges, or it wouldn’t be much of a story, but she found work.

Work that helped make life easier for others.

We all want to make money doing what we love but remember to make a difference. When you help others, it helps you feel better about yourself and lead to amazing life experiences.

If you stay open to them.

Being an art teacher for almost twenty years has been hugely rewarding. Is teaching a tough job at times? Heck, yeah! Being a part of helping young people grow and appreciate art is exciting. When I was in college studying art, I thought becoming a teacher would mean I failed as an artist.

I see now how it adds to my life with more than a paycheck and summers off. Making a difference with something I love.

3. Lower your expectations

I’m not saying working towards big dreams is wrong. Just stop putting so much into outcomes and results. The less you expect, the more you appreciate.

I’ve learned that a simple life is one to admire.

It’s true what Notorious B.I.G. said, “Mo’ money mo’ problems.”

Mainly because you have more responsibilities. Which is fine as long as you accept that fact. Living with more is a huge responsibility filled with difficult decisions and daily stress.

I noticed in the movie that Kiki continued living in her little room behind the bakery. She continued her delivery business and helped people in the city. Perhaps she could have afforded to move out and get her own apartment. Surely, it would have cost more and possibly pulled her away from close friends.

No need to move on to get more if you’re happy where you are.

Opening up to needing less can make space for more peace to pour into your life as long as you make a conscious decision not to expect too much. Finding your dream job will not solve all of your problems and suddenly make life perfect.

Even when you do all of this, you’re loving life and growing in your career; you may feel out of sorts and lose motivation all of a sudden.

4. Recharge your batteries

I guess you could call this a **SPOILERS** ahead moment, so skip this paragraph if you haven’t seen the film. Kiki’s magic vanishes, and she’s not able to fly on her broom to make deliveries. This sets her back and wrecks her confidence. It’s not until a friend shares with her that most people lose interest in their work or go through creative slumps.

If this is you, take a break. Rest. Give yourself space from whatever it is you’ve lost that fire for so you can breathe a bit and recharge. If it’s something important, you’ll find the spark to ignite the flame again.

Kiki certainly gets her magical mojo back, but I won’t tell you what gets her there.

Some ways to re-ignite your fire:

  • Sleep more. I’m serious. Go to bed early for a few days in a row or sleep later on the weekends. Take naps. Sleep has been known to cure so many health issues.

  • Put a pause on whatever you’re working on that’s draining you, and learn something new. Watch something you wouldn’t normally. Read a new book in a genre you hate. This will force you to think differently and stay open to new ideas.

  • Meditate. You knew I would mention this one. Giving yourself quiet alone time to be mindful of your body and thoughts will help your mental wellness.

  • Talk with family and friends about what you’re going through. They might have experienced something similar and could give you advice. Even if they haven’t, taking time to express how you’re feeling with someone you care about is a great release of any negativity you’ve been holding onto.

Final words

One of the hardest things for me to accept in life was that good things take time. Patience has always been a challenge for me. Not that I want everything now, but I wish it all would get here quicker.

It seemed to me that Kiki was fine with slowly building her life in one place. I love that. Yes, she’s just an animated cartoon character, but I envied her spirit. Maybe it’s because I’m a middle-aged man dreaming about the early days out in the world. Or, I needed the reminders the film brought forth.

There’s no shame in starting small, using your talents to work towards a successful career, and having patience with the process. Life can be less stressful and pretty darn magical when you know your needs and limit your wants.

How I Write 257k Words a Day Without Breaking a Sweat

The secrets to my unheard-of success.

Photo by Jake Weirick on Unsplash

*This article is fictional and meant to be humorous. Enjoy!

Your writing skills ain’t got nothin’ on me. While you struggle to post your one article today, I already posted six.

How do I do it, you might ask?

I could boast about my ability to schedule hours devoted to writing articles back-to-back in bulk. Balancing life with two kids and a demanding wife.

I do write in bulk, but here’s the real key. I’m always writing. Bulk writing is my life. My entire life.

The wife and kids I mentioned earlier, I rarely ever speak to them in person.

They write me. In texts, via email, even on Facebook messenger. They know my goal is and must remain, being a top writer. This is what I live for, and they give me the space to pursue it all.

Sleep? Who needs it?!

I can survive on two hours a night. Even with that one day a month where my body gives out completely, and I crash into the bed, sleeping for 24 hours, I am still a consistent writing machine.

I keep a notepad by my bed and it’s filled with notes I generated subconsciously in my sleep. My wife says when my hand is writing, she dare not wake me lest I lose the next Kubla Khan.

I might be a writing God.

I was once like you. Disappointed with my writing progress and wondering how to add more words to my documents each day.

While you stress over what time to squeeze in a little typing time, I’m writing like lightning. Striking my Macbook like pebbles in a tornado.

A storm that never lets up.

I was once like you. Disappointed with my writing progress and wondering how to add more words to my documents each day.

After reading several articles on productivity, it came to me.

I must go all in. So, writing is all I do. Taking time to shower is a luxury. Even after I get out, my laptop is waiting next to the sink. I only dry my hands as I begin writing again, letting my bare body air dry.

I bet you think my wife is jealous. She’s more envious of how much time I spend caressing my coffee mug. The number of coffee beans I need to fuel this obsession could fill a grain silo. Make that two. My wife knits constantly and shares this devotion to caffeine and productivity. We never buy clothes, thanks to her incredible knitting prowess.

Before you start getting worried about who takes care of our kids, let me calm your fears. We practice “Free-range Parenting.” That’s right; our children take care of themselves. We homeschool, and they fend for themselves. My kids learn more from the Disney Channel than they would in college.

I will admit we have groceries scheduled for delivery every Sunday, so food is provided. Every Saturday, we have cleaners come to wipe away a week's worth of our creative survival mode. We’ve thought of everything.

The harness with a desk attached makes it easy to go out for walks while writing. Writer friends talk about how they get inspiration during their walks. Well, I get to walk, get ideas, and write them immediately. In fact I send them to the cloud with Siri for when I get home. The cloud doesn’t care where I am. You shouldn’t either.

I’m a full-time writer, after all. This is the life I built and the one I choose to live. If I let up on the gas, I might lose it all. The only way to win is to keep adding and pushing harder.

Before you start getting worried about who takes care of our kids, let me calm your fears. We practice “Free-range Parenting.”

Everyone wants to be like me. They don’t have the fire to make it happen. These wannabe writers are lazy, unfocused. I know what it means to give your all for what you love.

Your passion.

If you can’t do what you love, every day, all day, then what’s the point of living? Those of you with weak wills full of fear know—you have what it takes to succeed. Put a razor-sharp focus on your goals and eliminate everything else. You will be rewarded with fame, fortune, and millions of words written a day.

With success comes more work and more hours of writing. You never know when someone will inch up behind you and take your spot.

Don’t let them pass.

My last and final goal is to discover how to write three 600 word articles every hour for 24 hours with original illustrations. Anyone can do Unsplash. I want people to link to my stories when they use my art. I will get there, mark my words.

Top that, losers.

First, They Call You a Fool, Then They Call You Brilliant

Illustrated by the author.

Illustrated by the author.

Taking risks that make sense to you may look crazy to others.

Two years ago, I quit my secure art teaching job for a position as a copywriter at a large medical device company. In the middle of the school year, no less—not a wise move in education.

Most teachers wait to leave until June, when they’ve completed a full school year. A great idea if you’re moving to another teaching job. Unfortunately, the corporate world isn’t on the same schedule.

I was scared about what this might do to my teaching career but ready to tackle a new challenge in a different profession.

I worked as a freelance copywriter for more than two years while teaching full-time and was ready to transition into writing more and teaching less. Leaving education at the mid-point of the year wasn’t ideal, but I knew this opportunity would be a good one.

This doesn’t sound too crazy you might think.

I didn’t mention yet, the new copywriter job was a temporary contract position for three months with only a possibility for extension. I was taking a huge risk.

Some people called me a fool. Others, were openly encouraging, but I bet were thinking to themselves I must have lost my mind.

What if I sucked, and they didn’t extend my contract past three months? Working as a contractor can turn into a permanent position, though. They might love the work I do for them and hire me on. Would I be able to get a job in education again if this position didn’t work out?

Even I felt a little crazy. Some days I was thinking, “What am I doing?” Inside, though, I had a feeling it would all work out.

You’re always a fool until you’re brilliant

I follow matchmaker and business columnist Paul Carrick Brunson on LinkedIn and he posted this video talking about his experience with being called a fool for taking risks in his personal life and career. Until he became a success and everyone switched and starting calling him brilliant.

He invested his wife’s savings in his matchmaker business. They called him a fool. He pulled his kids out of school to homeschool them. Foolish, they said.

According to Paul, he was called a fool for fifteen years before it all changed. Now, he’s interviewed regularly on television and people are incredibly impressed with his advice and the success he’s accomplished in his business.

The thing is, this praise only started in the past five years. The first fifteen, he was called a fool. If Paul had given up and listened to the naysayers, he wouldn’t have made it past “fool” status to “brilliant” where he is now.

Have the courage to follow your inner guidance

You not only need the confidence to stick with what you know is right, but the patience to reap the benefits. We all want success to happen right away but good things take time.

Paul Carrick Brunson has been at it for twenty years. I was teaching for seventeen before moving into a corporate position. Having years of knowledge and experience can help you move out or back into a career when needed.

I’d love to tell you I’m still working the copywriting job at the tech company but when the pandemic hit, a hiring freeze ruined my chances of staying on. They did extend my original three month contract three more months. Then, added on another six months.

The medical device industry is difficult to write creatively in because of all the medical and legal regulations. You have to be very careful with the words you use and make sure to back up any promises or claims.

I was frustrated and wanted to leave after a year but something funny happened. The writing and business started making sense to me. I was getting good.

Fortunately, they extended my contract another six months. Unfortunately, the hiring freeze brought on by the fear and uncertainty of the pandemic lockdown meant I wouldn’t get a permanent position. They could only keep me for eighteen months in total, so I knew my time was running out.

I didn’t regret my decision to risk working as a contractor, though. My goal was to gain corporate experience at a tech company as a writer. My writing improved, I met amazing people, and learned a great deal.

Maybe it wasn’t the secure choice, but it was worth it.

Take the “calculated crazy” risk when you can

You know what you need to do to live the life you want. I bet it’s the opinion of others that’s slowing you down or making you feel like you’re crazy.

Ignore them. One thing I’ve learned over years of taking risks that looked kooky to others at the time but ended up working out in the end is, people will give you props and respect when you succeed.

As long as you have a plan and can see how where you’re going can provide new skills to help you become who you want to be, you’re golden.

People might not have understood your vision or goals at first, but when it all comes together, suddenly, you’re looked at as intelligent and resourceful.

Fine. Accept the kind words and don’t get upset with the fact that it took the time and effort it did. Stay in the game long enough to take risks where you win or lose, and keep going until you build something you’re proud of and garners respect.

One thing is true, the majority of people are afraid to go against what’s safe and secure.

Nothing is secure.

Even though taking calculated risks may look ridiculous to the average person. You don’t have to be an average person.

Don’t listen to the noise

My final point is one Paul Carrick Brunson pointed out in his video message. Don’t listen to the noise. Your friends and family care about you and mainly want the best, but they don’t understand your path.

You know what you have to do. They might not see it but that doesn’t mean they’re right. They care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt. Give thanks for them and ignore their negativity and fear. Do what you have to do.

As long as it’s well-thought-out and doesn’t harm anyone in the process, go for it. You can always make another decision later if it doesn’t go the way you hoped.

If only this type of confidence were easy. It’s not. To make it through, you may have to:

  • Deal with feeling your heart pounding in fear in the beginning of your journey at the same time you’re holding your head up high to appear sure of yourself.

  • Listen to other people’s negative comments about your choices while thinking of the reasons why you’re going about it this way so you stay confident.

  • Remember, when times get tough, success is a marathon, not a sprint. It will all feel slow when you’re in the thick of it, but when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will all be rewarding.

I’m back teaching art again. My connections from previous schools helped me get a job in education after losing my copywriter position.

At first, I felt like a failure for only moving out of teaching for a year and a half and then having to go back. Then, I saw how what I learned transferred over to education. In fact, I was able to add communications onto my responsibilities by writing blogs and posting to social media for my school along with teaching art.

If I ever want to go back into copywriting in the future, I’ll always have the corporate experience I gained at the tech company to help.

Brilliant? You be the judge.

So far, it’s working well for me.

This Japanese Phrase Explains the Power of Keeping Your Opinions to Yourself

Sometimes it’s fine not to have an opinion

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With everything going on globally, we often feel like it’s our responsibility to comment or be prepared to share our individual viewpoints at the drop of a hat.

I don’t see it this way.

Your opinion is important, but if you haven’t researched a topic or formulated a personal take on the subject, there’s no need to feel guilty. In America, all you have to do is tell people, “I have no opinion on that matter yet.” Or respond with, “No comment.”

When I was living in Japan, people there would always say the phrase, “Shoganai ne.” which means “It can’t be helped.” Almost like giving in and saying, “What can you do?”

I loved the fact that people could just let go of their stress or worry by using that phrase, and it still feels like it matters to them.

Not like when people in the states comment with a “Meh.” or an “Oh, well.” Like they’re writing it off or flushing the topic down the toilet.

Saying shoganai feels like you care, but there’s not much you can do to make a change right now. You have to accept things the way they are for the time being.

You don’t need an opinion on everything

Not being well-read on a topic or even caring about every aspect of everything isn’t possible. You have the right not to care. You have the right to be neutral.

How can we fully invest in every cause?

We’re all different and form opinions based on our backgrounds, experience, and knowledge of the subject matter. That’s a good thing. We don’t have to be all the same.

Trying to convince someone you’re right or get them to see your side isn’t necessary. You can agree to disagree.

Believe it or not, you may know quite a bit about a topic and still not be for or against it.

For example, for the Olympics in Tokyo, Japan, everyone’s talking about whether or not they should have waited another year after postponing it once before. With the pandemic still going strong and covid cases rising in Japan, it’s dangerous to bring a boatload of athletes into a small country to compete together.

On the other hand, Japan spent a huge amount of money preparing for the Olympics and would have lost big bucks if they canceled or kept postponing the games.

I lived in Japan for two years and want the best for the country, but it’s difficult for me to form an opinion on this situation. Both sides of the argument make sense. Is something wrong with me for not taking sides?

It looks like going ahead with the Olympic Games in Tokyo both helps and hurts Japan. This situation is not ideal by any means, but athletes have worked their butts off and deserve a chance to prove themselves in competition. I want them to have their chance, but I don’t want people to get sick and spread covid in a country I love.

What do you do if you can see both sides of the argument and neither of them wins out? You accept what is and throw up your hands with a look of confusion and say, “Shoganai ne.”

It can’t be helped. You’re in neutral and want the best, but what can you do?

You should have an opinion on something, though

Maybe you feel they should have canceled the Olympics until the pandemic improves across the world. I can see that side only because I care about the health of the people of Japan.

Having no opinion about anything shows you lack empathy. Pick your areas of interest and expertise and go ahead and comment on those all day. Friends and family will love knowing they can get your perspective on certain topics and look forward to conversations with you.

If you have zero opinions, no views about anything, you come across as aloof and bland. I’m sure there are areas where you get excited or upset by what’s going on. Topics that get your blood boiling are important. You don’t necessarily have to take only one side.

I’m not convinced people even care what we think. We’re all too concerned about ourselves and our opinions.

When you tell someone your side of the issue, they most likely will put it through their filters of what’s right and wrong to see if they agree. If they do, you look intelligent to them—like you’re on their team. If your ideas oppose theirs, you’re against them or are seen as wrong.

Either way, that person thinks they’re right. Rarely can we change how a person feels about a topic, right? Unless we have experience with it and tell a personal story to expand their view.

Let’s say you’re an expert in an area you work in or study daily. Great. Perhaps, that area is one where your opinion will be valued and paid attention to by others. If you’ve proved you’re worth in that subject, people could see you as a real spokesperson for that topic.

It doesn’t mean they’ll agree with you, though.

They might read more information about a subject to become better informed, but that doesn’t guarantee they’ll change their minds and believe the same as you.

The effort and research needed to have well-informed opinions mean we can’t have an opinion on everything

Let that lift the weight off your shoulders. We’re not right about everything, and we cannot be experts on it all either.

If it’s a complicated situation, like the Tokyo Olympics, opinions can take time.

Putting thought, research, and care into deciding how you feel about something shows respect for the issue. If you’re not ready to share your opinion, you may have to stay in the neutral zone.

Sometimes we have to say “Shoganai ne.”

And that’s okay.

If You Could Get Married in a Pub in The Middle Ages, Why Expect so Much From Relationships Today?

Your spouse cannot, and should not, be your everything

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People in medieval Europe just wanted to get it on. Or, they just wanted arranged marriages to make money for their families.

Marriage was about sex or status back in the middle ages.

We expect so much more from it now, which is lovely in some ways but can be damaging.

With the church having a great deal of power in medieval Europe, as a Christian, the only way to make sweet love to your partner without burning in hell was to marry them.

Fortunately, for couples back then, the rules were pretty loose.

The only requirement for a binding marriage was the consent of the two people involved—no need to ask your family or bring in a priest. You could get married just about anywhere at any time. Forget about witnesses. You didn’t need them.

Wanna get married at your buddy’s house down the street? At the local pub? How about in bed? Sure! No problem.

You got married so you could make love whenever you wanted and take care of each other. Plenty of relationships were arranged, sometimes before the couple even meets each other, to help the families gain status or money.

Having concerns about falling in love or fulfillment wasn’t the main focus. I believe in love, but I also feel we’re taking our ideas of what marriage can do for us too far.

We expect far too much from marriage

Discovering this enlightening bit of history made me think about how much we expect from marriage today. I believe in taking it seriously and honoring its sanctity. Still, I bet people would enjoy the bonds of marriage more with a little less weight stacked on top.

I’ve been married for over fifteen years to my amazing wife, and even though we’ve been through ups and downs, I’m glad we’ve stayed together. We both choose every day to make the relationship better or work together on issues that need improvement.

My wife and I view marriage this way because we both had divorced parents when we were kids. I think it forces us to look at our relationship every day and ask, “Is this worth breaking up over?”

We know how it feels not to have both parents together, so we constantly check ourselves over what’s most important.

Unlike in medieval times, we are blessed with so much because life is much easier now. We think marriage should fulfill us physically and spiritually. Our partners should be our everything. Having children should be a magnificent blessing that improves our lives tenfold.

Many people think uniting with another should wash away their pain and make life easier.

Until we actually do all of these things and realize that married life with children is complicated and stressful. Heck, I have only one child, and everything is crazy. Imagining raising multiple kids fills me with anxiety.

Yes, family life is more fulfilling, and you can have a great deal of fun if you work together as partners, but life is not easier. In a lot of ways, it’s more complicated.

The only way to end a marriage in the middle ages was to prove it never existed. All the experiences, time, and effort you put into building something together with someone — erased.

I know people still do this today by getting an annulment. Still, the fact that we have more choices now can make you think about what you plan to get from vowing to stay true to only one other person for life.

Are your expectations even realistic?

Lower your expectations and become flexible

Maybe you desire certain things from your partner because you watched your parents growing up doing or trying to be that for each other. Does that mean it’s okay?

Have you decided love means your wife makes dinner for you every night or your husband must make a certain amount of money?

Marriage can look the way you both decide. Try lowering your expectations brought on by childhood and talk about what your actual needs are. This might not look like a traditional marriage. Your parents might disagree, but if how you live together is safe and works for you, go for it.

If you’re unhappy with how much your partner is giving to you, try cutting in half what you expect from them. Decide what’s most vital for you to feel loved, and ask your partner for more of those one or two aspects.

Your spouse cannot, and should not, be your everything.

Do you think married couples in the middle ages were concerned their partner isn’t there emotionally for them twenty-four hours a day?

They were too busy trying to survive. Life now may feel much more manageable than back then, but the truth is, we’re all still trying to survive. In nicer homes with more comfort — but it’s survival nonetheless.

Giving your marriage all you’ve got but at the same time relaxing your expectations is challenging but possible. Most relationship issues can be worked out by being open with your partner and having uncomfortable yet honest conversations.

An exception will be if you’re with someone physically or verbally abusing you. That is a reason to leave. No one should keep trying to keep a relationship alive with someone who treats them like trash.

Of course, sometimes a marriage should end. I get it. I’ve had relationships back when I was dating, where we parted for various reasons. Breakups are hard. I believe most bad marriages can survive, though.

Let’s say you both want drastically different things out of life, and you’re moving in different directions. I can see that pulling a marriage apart.

Being open with each other about your needs and where you’d like to go in life makes it easier to figure things out. I bet you could work something out if you’re both committed to being flexible.

You could decide to follow and support your partner as they pursue their needs for a set number of years, and then you get a chance next, and then they help you. This means you’ll have to slow down what you’re pursuing for a time, but when your spouse moves forward, you’re there with them, knowing you helped along the way. Then, it’s your turn to push ahead.

When you take the commitment aspect of marriage seriously but keep an open mind about how it should look and feel depending on your needs, you’ll make better decisions.

Married life may be more complicated today compared to the middle ages. But with more freedom and choices in our society, we have to choose to take full responsibility.

Get better at choosing what marriage will look like together with your partner, and you’ll be centuries ahead of the crowd

This Quote From Seth Godin Could Change How You Think About Pursuing Your Passion

Photo by Adrian Dascal on Unsplash

Do what you love, and the money will follow. Wasn’t that the name of a book?

It’s become an idea that fills creative people with hope, and more often than not, leaves us broke and disappointed.

Doing what you love doesn’t always lead to success and financial freedom. It can. I know there are people out there who have done it, but it’s rare. Taking something you enjoyed as a kid, a hobby you love, or a creative skill like writing or drawing and turning it into a successful career is a considerable risk.

One most people fail.

Was that too dramatic? My apologies. It’s because I’m a creative person who’s learned this the hard way. I’ve been working towards making a full-time living from cartooning and writing for many years. Fortunately, I’ve been able to make it work with the help of teaching art and multiple day jobs.

But I’m still doing everything I can to make a bit of part-time income from creative work.

The hard part for me was accepting that every passion isn’t made for success. At least, what you’re putting out into the world might not become something big exactly when you want or need it to.

Not only because it’s challenging to make money with, but because it might not get the attention of a broad audience right away. If you’re a writer, maybe your voice or ideas aren’t resonating on a large scale yet.

Unless you think of “Following your passion” differently.

Having a passion for something isn’t enough. In fact, your love for it might be holding you back. There could be new pursuits you could try and ultimately fall in love with that you’re not because of being dead set on something fun but not working for you.

That’s why this quote from

Seth Godin’s new book “The Practice: Shipping Creative Work” made me stop and take note.

“Do what you love” is for amateurs. “Love what you do” is the mantra for professionals.

-Seth Godin

You can learn to love new jobs and skills when you practice Seth’s advice and use it as your mindset. Sometimes it comes down to just loving the work you do — even if it’s not your favorite, dreamiest, best of the best work you’ve ever done in your life.

Discovering what I want and learning how to think less like an amateur and more like a professional has taken time.

Here are a few ideas that helped:

Doing what you love for fun, not money

When it comes to the hobbies and activities you engage in for fun, doing what you love is excellent advice. As long as you don’t expect to make money.

If you end up striking it rich from your hobbies, awesome! Good for you. Either way, enjoying the process of doing or creating should be the end goal. It shouldn’t be something you hope will bring you millions of dollars.

Playing video games is a lot of fun. Some may even feel like it’s their passion. Enjoy playing and use it as your escape. Sure, you could record yourself playing and post it up on YouTube so others could watch, and that might become a hit for you. You could become a video game tester or designer.

If you do, though, how your hobby feels might change. For example, do you want it to feel like work?

I’ve learned that some things should remain hobbies. Having an outlet, you love to dive into when you need something to make you smile.

Make learning valuable skills fun

Convincing yourself that it’s valuable to fall in love with skill-building will help you move forward in anything you pursue. If you enjoy learning to write and communicate better, improve your public speaking and event organization skills, they’ll cross over into any work or job you have.

Learning several skills at the same time could be overwhelming so narrowing them down to one works well. Once you’ve become pretty good at that one, move on to the next. Make that feeling of mastering a skill something you’re passionate about.

If you’re developing skills in very different areas, like music, then writing, and video editing, it might help to combine them, so you don’t get scattered. For example, I like putting my interests under an umbrella term like “Storytelling” to combine my love of writing, drawing, and teaching.

When I learn a new way to illustrate comic pages, it fits with my goal of improving as a visual storyteller. Of course, this may be different from improving as an article writer. Still, I know improving my writing skills will help me make more relatable comics.

Learning can be fun, but you won’t know if you’re growing if you don’t put it out there for an audience.

Sharing your passions with the world

Sharing your work with the world is how you make a name for yourself and refine your skills. Do you want to reach a professional level? Write online, post your performances on YouTube, and air your podcast so that others can be inspired and entertained — not only for exposure but for feedback.

You’ll get a chance to see which pieces of content people respond to and learn more about what they want. Hearing feedback can be challenging, especially if most of it is harmful when you first start out, but take it and make adjustments. If it hurts, ask yourself why, and stay open to making changes.

You can practice the skill by doing it as a side-hustle while you work your day job if it’s something you decide to earn money from in the long run. If money is a goal, make sure to post as often as you can every week to attract fans and stay consistent.

Conclusion

If you produce your work online and even post it to friends who share your interests, you’ll watch your passion for it bloom.

So why not try an experiment?

Decide on a skill you’d like to improve on and take an online course or practice regularly at a scheduled time each week. Maybe it’s something you want but doesn’t quite feel like it’s your “passion” just yet.

I bet, after a few months, you’ll improve and start feeling passionate about it in a way that might surprise you.

It all comes down to learning to love what you do. After that, picking what you do is up to you.

4 Signs You’re an Unapologetic Introvert

Illustrated by the author.

Illustrated by the author.

Who won’t let extroverts get in your way

Do you have what it takes to be introverted and still succeed?

Our society places a load of respect on extroverts and the importance of breaking out of your shell. But is being a social butterfly really the height of human existence?

If you’re the type of person who wants to hide away from it all and spend your time working on projects, it’s viewed as a negative that can often hurt introverts.

I’m an introvert, trained to be more social and extroverted because I thought it would help me succeed. Now, I’m discovering I don’t need to put myself out there as much as I once thought.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re weak.

I’m sure there are introverts with more confidence than me. Living extraordinary lives — working behind the scenes and staying comfortable in the shadows — being who they are meant to be.

And not apologizing for it at all.

I believe the idea of whether or not you’re extroverted or introverted is a relatively new concept in our society. So when I asked my parents which one they are, they were surprised by this distinction, and I had to explain the differences to help them pick.

An extrovert is outwardly focused and not only enjoys socializing with others but gets energized by attending significant events and parties. Spending a great deal of time in groups and talking with someone else brings them to life. They need the time together with people to fill up their tanks and to feel fulfilled.

On the flip side, an introvert is more inwardly focused and might enjoy social activities. Still, it gets their energy sucked out of them by spending too much time around others. It doesn’t mean they’re just shy. I actually love talking with friends and going to fun events. Still, I can only stay for a certain amount of time before I’m exhausted.

For an introvert like me, going home and having quiet time alone helps to recharge my batteries to feel like myself again. Relaxing with a good book or having a chance to be in my own head while writing or drawing feels like heaven.

Let’s decide right now to not let extroverts put us down.

This looks like a black and white type of issue, but it isn’t. The degree to which side you fall on varies. You could have a little more extroversion but love your time alone to think and process your experiences.

Wherever you may fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum, you should feel good about it. Some studies show introverts don’t need to behave like extroverts.

As introverts, we have what it takes to be successful in business and in life. But it just might look a little different.

Maybe even better.

Here are four signs of unapologetic introverts and how you can be more like them:

1. They stay quiet and keep their heads up

Being introverted is fantastic. Accepting that fact with confidence and pride is essential for success. But, of course, there’s nothing wrong with acting like an extrovert to properly introduce yourself to new people and engage in exciting conversations.

Still, it doesn’t mean you have to be outgoing at all times.

How to do it:

When you feel like leaving — for time alone to recharge — do it. Think about how vital it is for you to have time to yourself and figure out a thoughtful way to say, “Thanks, but I gotta go.” then escape.

No matter how tempting it is to try forcing yourself to speak up in meetings, for example, when you’d rather listen, go with what your gut tells you. You can say to yourself, “There’s power in silence.” to give you the confidence to stay quiet.

If you have something to say, share it, but don’t feel obligated.

2. They know what they want ahead of time

Unapologetic introverts think ahead and know how they’ll behave around others because they’re comfortable being themselves. They understand that sometimes they have to do extroverted activities and be more outgoing. Still, they can put a limit on how often.

Did you know, introverts excel at problem-solving, academics, regulating their behavior, and taking fewer risks that may cause harm compared to extroverts. In other words, they’re thinkers, and I would guess, planners.

Use this to your advantage.

How to do it:

Prepare for the situation you are about to enter and decide how you’ll handle things. Know what you want to receive and how you’d like to be perceived and be ready with responses based on your personal beliefs. This may be you deciding on boundaries of what you will and will not do or how someone will treat you.

Begin with the end in mind. Even picking work or a business that doesn’t require you to be around a large number of people for hours on end takes knowledge of self and forethought.

I like choosing to spend time talking with one good friend instead of several together at a large gathering. Studies have shown that the connection and meaning I and other introverts get from more intimate conversations helps bring them joy.

If you’re someone who values the individual person you’re with, the other person will sense they have your full attention and feel special.

3. They protect their solitude

Courageous introverts know when to say “No” and are not ashamed when they need time away. True solitude must be scheduled when you have a busy life and a load of responsibilities. Alone time and creative thinking breaks are like that precious pot of gold they guard with their life.

Come to think of it, they take time for fun, not just make time. Introverts do the work that makes money and the side hustle that is their passion but will make sure to spend quiet time on activities for sheer fun and enjoyment.

How to do it:

Taking away from other activities or chores for what brings you joy is a start. In addition, learning to manage your time better is a massive help and can free up more space for quiet reflection.

Add your solitude retreats to your calendar. Make them just as important as a meeting with a client. The more you see it on your list of to-dos for the day, the more you’ll take them seriously.

If someone tries to cut into your solitude time, tell them no, unless it’s an emergency, then add another solitude entry on your calendar right away.

4. They let others know what they need

What if someone doesn’t understand your decisions? No worries. Introverts worth their salt are not afraid to explain who they are when deemed necessary. After all, who else will look out for them?

The default behavior in society is extroversion, so if you’re moving in the other direction, let ’em know.

You can be direct and clear about what you need and why.

How to do it:

Share, openly and honestly, when you’re not comfortable doing something and let people know why. Then, the other person will see what you need and get to know you as an individual.

Suppose I need time to myself to draw, for example. In that case, it’s better to talk to my wife about possible times in the day where I can have a couple of hours to illustrate a comic strip.

She knows me well, but I can still tell her I’m feeling emotionally drained and need time to refill my creative spirit. That way, she gets that I’m not trying to run away from her, but the time is for helping me stay balanced.

When you’re an unapologetic introvert, you teach people how to treat you and show them who you are. Give them the reasons for your choices but add how they will benefit you and how not doing it could possibly hurt.

One example, if you’re uncomfortable with a crowded gathering, you have no problems saying, “No, thank you. That event will be overly stimulating for me and drain my energy.”

Naturally, there are times when you must put yourself out there for business or help family and friends. If the person cares for you, though, they’ll understand if you decline. But, on the other hand, if they don’t understand, well, you know that living authentically as an introvert means there’s no reason to apologize.

Final thoughts

Let’s value our quiet alone time more often and embrace solitary thinkers. Hiding from socializing doesn’t mean you’re weak. Instead, accept the power of being who you’re truly meant to be.

You don’t have to be the center of attention to gain respect. In fact, if you’re someone who listens and asks pointed questions well, people will admire your attention and care for them and the situation. Especially if it’s clear you don’t need to be in the spotlight.

You’re fine speaking only when necessary.

When you’re proud to be an introvert, you’ll discover your quiet confidence has value and will garner respect. So go forth, and be the introvert you were meant to be today.

How Observing Your Hands Can Spark Mindfulness

You don’t need a lot of time to be aware of the present moment

Remember that time you were writing and feeling stressed out? Perhaps, you thought of taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. Great idea. I love breathing exercises, but I’ve added one more practice to my “instant mindfulness” routine I’d like to share with you.

Observing your hands.

It’s as simple as it sounds. When I feel overwhelmed or stressed, I look at my hands and appreciate whatever they happen to be doing.

Watching your hands and appreciating your actions

Let me tell you how this hand observing idea came to me. I enjoy doing a few yoga poses in the morning, like upward and downward-facing dog and warrior poses. I noticed how focused on my hands I needed to be for proper form.

Why not pay attention to my hands while doing other things in my day? Like, when I write something with a pen, a rare activity nowadays. Or when I’m holding hands with my wife.

This tiny bit of gratitude ends up expanding and going further than you can imagine.

As a teacher, cartoonist, and writer, there’s so much to get done and keep up with each day. I have trouble slowing myself down sometimes. Even though I love it, I don’t always have time to do yoga. When I get a chance, I appreciate it more and see how my hands move and support me while holding poses.

Accepting that, as a parent, I’ll get very little quiet time for myself at home, finding quick ways to experience mindfulness is vital.

Getting in the mindset of “Even a little time for being in the moment is better than nothing.” helps lift away stress. You don’t need to spend twenty minutes meditating or thirty minutes of yoga to be mindful. Just noticing what your hands are up to can pull you back to your center.

Observing your hands leads to gratitude

If I’m at my laptop writing an article, I watch my hands typing for a few seconds. Then stop to give thanks for this opportunity to write and be a creative person.

Opening up this type of awareness often leads to breathing slowly and deeply and feeling gratitude for other blessings in your life. Your mood can change instantly. A smile might slide across your face. Become aware of the truth. You’re practicing mindfulness.

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it. (21)”

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

Believe it or not, even folding laundry can be a time for taking note of what your hands are doing. You’re taking care of your clean clothes, and having those clothes and the ability to wash them with relative ease is a blessing. Folding for your family could lead to a flood of emotions as you feel gratitude for being able to provide and care for them.

Rarely are we paying attention to all our hands can get done in a day. Using this “Observe Mindfulness Skill,” you can expand to other parts of your body. Notice where your feet are walking during the day. How they look without socks as you wiggle your toes.

In short, pay attention. It takes very little time and even less effort.

Final thoughts

Clearly, observing your hands is a great way to turn inward for mindfulness throughout the day, but how do you remember to do it? This may seem childish but, write something on your hand.

It could be a word like “Breathe” or “Relax” written in big black letters on your palm or on the outside of your hand. This will get you into the habit of paying attention — and possibly embarrassing you enough around others — to remember to make time for mindfulness observation.

I know you’re thinking about all the tech gadgets that can send you alerts to remember to be mindful. Go ahead and use those if it works for you. The low-tech reminders tend to work better for me, like putting post-it notes all over. Try to make it fun, so you enjoy the idea of finding peace in your day.

Remember, taking time for gratitude and mindfulness doesn’t have to be a chore. All you have to do is look at your hands.

My Health Took a Nosedive After the Second Vaccine Shot

Was over a month of sickness worth it?

Photo taken by the author.

Photo taken by the author.

We should all get vaccinated. It’s the right thing to do for you and for your country.

Even if this story sounds like I don’t trust them, I believe in vaccines. Unfortunately, my experience didn’t go the way I thought it would.

The first dose was no problem. Everyone told me it wouldn’t be all that bad, so I wasn’t worried. I was thrilled to get the second dose of the Moderna vaccine — even more excited when a few days after it, I didn’t have serious side effects. Feeling exhausted and a bit lightheaded didn’t bother me all that much. I didn’t have any flu-like symptoms — until day ten.

They tell you to wait until fourteen days after the second shot to know you’re protected. I was ready to enjoy that relief, but all I got was a fever of 105 degrees and chills that shook my body for hours.

I’m a teacher, and this all started in the middle of my spring break when I should be relaxing and enjoying life without planning lessons and managing a full schedule. Instead, I was buried under a pile of blankets to stop myself from shivering like crazy.

My wife and I didn’t think about this having anything to do with the vaccine because so many days passed. When I started feeling nauseous and throwing up, then dry heaving, we figured it was something else.

What we all fear right now came into our heads, “Do I have Covid? But I’m fully vaccinated!” and we called the advice nurse to try and get a clue what was going on. They weren’t sure what I had, but I knew something was off. Each day, I called the nurse hotline for three days as my fever remained, and I felt like crap.

On the fourth day, finally, I talked with a doctor. They heard all of my symptoms and simply said, “Get to the emergency room right now.” So, the family jumped in the car, and we drove to the hospital.

Little did I know, this would not be my only time in the E.R.

Emergency room visit #1- Test after test to find the answer

Fortunately, it wasn’t extremely busy at the hospital when we arrived. Still, it was upsetting that, due to covid, they could only allow one family member in with me. Which meant, since both my wife and daughter (who’s too young to be left alone) came, I would need to go in alone.

My heart sank as they rammed a long Q-tip up my nose for the covid test, making my eyes water insanely, and took my blood pressure. My family waited outside, and we waved goodbye to each other through the window as the nurse brought me into the E.R. room.

Talk about a day of discomfort. I was hooked to an I.V. and given fluids into my right arm while a blood pressure monitor was placed around my left arm to check me every thirty minutes. No one knew exactly what was wrong, so they decided to do a bunch of tests.

From blood tests to urine. A rather uncomfortable finger-poke in the bum to check my prostate, a chest X-ray, to a C.T. scan of my mid-section — I felt like an alien species they needed to study for the benefit of science.

After seven hours of poking and prodding, the doctors finally found the cause of my sickness. They didn’t think it was covid and thought I might have problems with my lungs. It turned out I had a prostate infection called Prostatitis. This prostate inflammation was causing all the high fevers and feeling sick to my stomach.

I asked if this had anything to do with receiving the second dose of the vaccine. Not surprisingly, the doctor denied any vaccine connection to my condition.

Considering that the sickness started ten days after, they said it’s most likely some other reason. I didn’t change anything about my life, though, and I’m usually a pretty healthy guy. The only new addition was the Moderna vaccine poke. Could it have changed something about my body chemistry and brought on this prostate inflammation?

I’m not a doctor, so I didn’t argue. “What do I know?” I thought. The vaccine is basically a medical miracle. So, I’m pretty sure no doctor wants to connect any severe side effects if they can avoid it. So, I nodded and smiled under my mask so they could finish up and release me to go home.

You know how easy it is to get sucked into researching when health issues pop up. I learned that the Moderna vaccine causes inflammation in the skin. Is it far-fetched to think inflammation could occur inside the body? Like in the prostate? I bet it’s possible.

Emergency room visit #2- One problem leads to another

I’m not someone who gets sick all that often. Having to go to the hospital every week while on antibiotics to get blood work done was, I must say, less than enjoyable. What did the doctors think would happen while dealing with a prostate infection?

I’ll tell you — my urine turned brown, and I was freaking out. That can’t be good. Right? This is over a week after my first E.R. visit. I got an email from the doctor saying she looked at my latest blood test, and my liver enzymes and creatine kinase (C.K.) levels were super high. Normal C.K. levels should be at about 55 when mine were at…150,000!

My doctor politely encouraged me to “Get to the emergency room as soon as possible.” There I went again. Going through the process and giving blood and urine tests as doctors ask me what’s going on. Asking did I exercise heavily that week or are prone to seizures.

This made no sense to me, but one doctor put it all together.

I told them about the intense shaking I had, for hours, with the chills at the beginning of the infection. Apparently, that was similar to having a seizure, and it taxed my muscles to the max.

The doctor said I had Rhabdomyolysis or, Rhabdo as all the nurses and doctors were calling it. Everyone who talked to me said I didn’t look all that bad, but this condition is severe. Rhabdo occurs when damaged muscle tissue releases its proteins and electrolytes into the blood. These substances could damage the heart and kidneys and cause permanent disability or even death.

Death? Good gracious!

You have to drink loads of water and Gatorade throughout the day to hydrate and flush out the toxins. I put down plenty of liquids, and most days, it never seemed like enough. I was constantly thirsty. Not to mention, my body felt like I had arthritis, a low level of pain and discomfort as I moved, and generally feeling exhausted.

You can’t exercise while healing from Rhabdo either. Only going for walks. Definitely no weight training or running.

It would take a few weeks for my body to work through the Rhabdo and get back to functioning at 100%. I decided not to take time off from teaching because it’s too close to the end of the school year. My plan was to take time for rest each day and pace myself. Then, when school is out for the summer, rest and relax like a boss.

Looking back now, maybe I should have taken a week or two off because I landed back in the E.R. yet again.

Emergency room visit #3- Fainting right into an ambulance

The two weeks of antibiotics were done, and I felt grateful that I’m most likely healed from the prostate infection. I would only need to get through Rhabdo and not need to go to the hospital again. I was so tired of seeing the E.R.

I got up at 2am one night to pee, feeling a bit dizzy, and afterward, while washing my hands, I felt lightheaded, and my face looked pale. Not good. As I walked back to my bed, I sat on the edge before lying down because it was difficult to breathe.

I blacked out and fell flat on the floor. My wife woke up and was in shock, running over to help. My daughter bolted out of her room and followed suit. This must have been a nightmare for them, not knowing what’s going on with me. They tried helping me stand up, even though I have no memory of this, and I passed out again. When I got up and blacked out a third time, my wife called the paramedics.

Fortunately, they arrived within five minutes and put me into the ambulance. Once again, due to covid, only one person could come with me to the hospital, so that meant both my wife and daughter had to watch me leave but were not allowed to ride along. I’m so thankful for them helping me and calling 911 so quickly. Having my daughter get traumatized by watching her father faint and get carried away on a stretcher was not a memory I wanted for her childhood.

The paramedics took good care of me and noticed that my blood pressure dropped very low. Probably due to the side effects of Rhabdo and my blood pressure medication was plunging it down even further.

Back to the arm wrapped in a blood pressure monitor and the other on the I.V. fluids in an uncomfortable bed in the E.R., It was starting to feel like my second home. I even recognized a few nurses. They told me to stop taking one of my B.P. meds, the hydrochlorothiazide, that makes me pee more to get rid of salt. I needed to keep as much fluid inside of me as possible while healing from Rhabdo.

I was only in the E.R. for a few hours this time, and my family could pick me up at 6am. Don’t worry, I took a day off from work and rested. It was a Friday morning, so I had the weekend to take it easy.

Final Thoughts- Was the vaccine worth all the discomfort?

I’m still healing, feeling weak and tired, combined with that odd all-over-body discomfort that can make me feel like crying at times. At forty-six years old, This is the first time I’ve been through something this lousy health-wise. Over a month of discomfort. All after getting the second dose of the Moderna vaccine.

If I knew then what I know now, would I get the vaccine again?

Yes. In a heartbeat.

What I’ve been through was tough. When I think about what people who’ve battled through Covid-19 have endured, this doesn’t seem so bad. Plus, knowing that I’m helping to slow the spread of the virus helps me feel like a member of a worldwide family.

I know what you’re thinking. The doctor said none of this was from the vaccine. Okay. That’s probably true. Maybe it was all bad timing, but my wife and I have been together for almost twenty years, and she’s never seen me this sick.

When you get your vaccine, I genuinely hope you won’t have to go through what I experienced. Thank you for taking the risk to help yourself, your family, and your community if and when you get it. I was unlucky, but most of my friends and family were okay.

As I heal from a series of health problems, the U.S. is opening up, and things are looking better for schools and businesses. I’m thankful to have been a part of helping by getting my two jabs.

Read This if You Feel You’re Too Old for Success

You’ll need more than just changing your mindset

Are we finally in a place where anyone of any age can succeed in their chosen profession? Even though I’m yearning to tell the story of how Colonel Sanders started Kentucky Fried Chicken when he was 65 years old, I’m going to hold myself back.

At this point in history, his story shouldn’t be all that astounding. It certainly was in the ’70s and 80s, but now, we should be more open to the fact that you’re never too old to go after your dreams.

Unless, of course, you want to play professional sports after 40. There are areas where physical strength and stamina matter, but on the whole, if you have your mind and a passion in your heart to pursue, age is just that, a number.

At least, now that I’m in my mid-forties, that’s what I think people should believe. I’m sick and tired of feeling down about aging. As a husband, parent, teacher, writer, and cartoonist, I see how much I’m capable of doing now, even though my life is crazy busy.

So much of life is about our mindset. The time is now to realize success over 40 is not only possible but pretty darn impressive.

Being young and successful is cool and all but let’s see you sustain that for 40 years

Why do people still feel it’s better to become a success when you’re young? What’s wrong with just having a goal of supporting yourself without needing help from your parents?

This idea that the most extraordinary success comes with youth is ridiculous. Let’s be real here, what have you done in your 20s that qualifies you to get more respect than someone in their 50s?

Gaining life experience and wisdom is honorable. Making a good life for yourself and keeping it up for decades is a skill not everyone can master. When you add factors like marriage, parenting, and surprise health issues, holding on to a successful career as you age takes a herculean effort.

Yes, when you’re young, you have the energy to work hard and move up in a company, the balls to take risks with a new business, and the nerve to ride on the coattails of successful friends to find success.

But can you sustain it?

The one thing young people can’t see is that you have to maintain that success for another thirty to forty years. Trends change, the needs of society shift. Are you flexible enough to move with the times and stay in demand?

Here are three tips I’ve found for helping sustain a long career.

  • Find pleasure in the creative and business aspects of your profession.

  • Stay open to new ideas, learning new skills, and growing as a person.

  • Manage your stress, so you avoid burnout.

The trick will be to discover your unique techniques and ways of thinking to stay strong and balanced during the marathon of a long career.

Why are you letting age hold you back from pursuing your passion?

If you’re physically and mentally able, go for it. Don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t.

For many of us, life can get pretty busy in middle age. You can have more available time for doing what you love when you get older.

My aunt would always tell me there are different seasons of life — pay attention to where you are and do the best you can while there. We will have seasons where it’s all about our career, a season of raising children, or a season of healing from an illness.

Seasons come and go.

Take an honest look at where you are in life and be clear about what you can accomplish. If you’re in a season where you have more time to pursue a business or passion, but you think you’re past your prime, think again.

You may need to ease in and warm up to start something great. Doing small things towards your goals can build up momentum to a place where you feel like doing more, and then, BAM, your mindset changes.

Suddenly, you see that you still have what it takes to succeed. Not only that, but you’ve been through enough in life to know you’re tough enough to keep going.

You can start late, look different, be uncertain, and still succeed.” — Misty Copeland

Who decides what age you can start something new? Especially in the era of the internet

“It’s just too late for me.” How many times have I heard people say that? People who remember a time before the internet. A time when getting attention for the work you do was so much harder.

The age of gatekeepers is disappearing. Someone at a company deciding whether your work is good enough or you’re relevant enough to be pushed out to the masses.

You choose when you’re ready and can share work with the world.

The internet is a place to promote what you do, but there’s one skill you must master to make it work for you.

Consistency.

Posting online now and then about your work isn’t going to attract eyeballs and new fans. You have to post, promote, and share your work at least one to three times per week on your chosen platforms.

Having the internet is magnificent, but if you’re not willing to put in the regular weekly effort of sharing work for viewers, readers, and potential customers to consume, nothing’s going to happen.

If you have a goal, you can’t shake, ignore your age, pursue it and see where it takes you

If you’re able to update your mindset to believe that success is possible at any age, you can make miracles happen.

Just remember these suggestions for success over 40.

  • Cultivate an interest in all the work you do and find pleasure in aspects of the business that may be challenging.

  • Keep an open mind so that you’re ready to learn new skills to keep up with the times.

  • Manage your stress by finding ways to have fun and relax every day.

  • Do little things, taking small steps every day to reach your goals.

  • Post and promote your work online consistently to reap the benefits of the massive potential audience the internet provides.

Understand that, even though you may feel old or society tries to tell you there’s very little time left to succeed in your passions, you can still play the long game.

Change your outlook and your attitude and start taking steps towards more success, no matter your age.

One Concept a Teacher in Art School Gave Me That Changed My Life

And could help you reach your goals.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Walking into the art studio with my finished clay project in hand, I knew it was the best work I’d done in a long time. With other classes and homework to complete that week, I didn’t put much time into this one. Still, I was sure its creativity and energy would impress my professor.

Compared with sculptures from other students in class that day, I could tell theirs looked technically better. Mine had all the vitality, though!

I might have finished it quickly, but it was eye-catching.

The professor was surely going to give me a high grade and plenty of praise. Maybe even talk about how good it is to the rest of the class.

Little did I know, I was about to learn a lesson that would stick with me for the rest of my life.

When the teacher entered and started walking around the class, checking in with each student, I was hoping she would get to me last. I wanted her to be amazed by my brilliance after looking at the others.

I could see her face as she spotted my sculpture, my powerful piece of a man in a running pose with a loose shirt moving in the wind. Her head cocked to the side as she slowly approached my table. After pausing for a brief moment, she said, “The pose is dynamic, with a nice solid structure, but make sure to put more time and effort into your craftsmanship.”

Hold on a second. What kind of praise was that?

She liked it but wanted me to spend more time on details and making it look finished; she continued telling me further to make it a better quality final product. She was basically calling it energetic rubbish.

The professor used this opportunity to turn to the class and discuss the importance of craftsmanship. Right in front of my art — clearly, the example of what not to do.

I learned the importance, that day, of putting more effort into the finished product and calming my ego.

I thought all of the energy in my work would speak for itself. I didn’t understand how evident a lack of good craftsmanship can be in what you create. Needless to say, I was embarrassed and humbled.

Craftsmanship.

This word is one I would hear many times over my art education. The importance of craftsmanship and how that separates the novice from the professional.

Paying attention to details and putting in the time to create a quality piece of art was drilled into me after that. Fortunately, I learned to organize my time and put in the work.

Other than art, I believe we can use this concept to help improve our lives.

How to craft a life you love

After twenty years of creative life both here and abroad, I’ve found living with intention instead of haphazardly here and there helps bring what you desire.

Here’s a simple way to look at crafting your life.

Craftsmanship for success

Anytime life kicks you in the rear, or you feel you’re not going in the right direction, remember to put these three points into action.

1. Taking time to plan out goals in detail by writing them down and reading them daily

Put down all the possible ways these goals could be achieved and think about what connects them. Like creating a piece of art, you’re building the sketch or rough draft of your final product, working out the kinks, and developing a vision. Reading them to yourself as if you already have them, in the present, is like magic for attracting your desires.

2. Taking calculated risks instead of running from them

There’s no way around it. You must take risks if you want to succeed. Keeping them thoughtful and careful should be a part of your detailed goals. Even if you’re afraid, you will need to step out into the unknown at some point.

3. Taking time sculpting the life you want by consistently doing the work

Moving forward with consistent action will help your skills grow and give you more chances for luck. It might take more time filled with regular, daily work than you think, but you will reach success if you’re putting in the time regularly to produce.

Even when you’ve reached your goal, you should continue forward. There is no finish line. The work, the skills you learn, and the positive influence you have on others are how you measure success. If I can learn to put more effort into crafting a beautiful piece of art and apply it to my life, you can take a similar approach.

A successful life is an art, so start sculpting yours today.

What Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone Really Takes

Here’s a hint, it’s not only courage.

I have a friend who always talks about making significant changes in his life but never does. He says he wants to change careers and move to another city, but he avoids taking steps to make the leap.

Why?

I know you’re thinking he’s just afraid of the unknown, but I believe it’s more than that.

After spending the past twenty years of my life moving around and even living overseas in Japan, I know what motivated me to step out of my comfort zone.

I wish I could say it was because I’m so brave, and “risk” is my middle name. That’s not true at all. I’m actually afraid of change and scared of the unknown.

What drives me forward — and what my friend could use more of–is curiosity.

One of my goals is to ignite this spirit of curiosity when teaching my students and get them to ask more questions. Good questions lead to knowing more, seeing more, and ultimately experiencing more than what you have inside your bubble of safety.

Here’s the thing — even though it feels nice and warm in that bubble, your determination to discover more and get those questions answered will shove your fears aside. You’ll have the confidence to burst out of your comfort zone.

Fears will still be there, just not barking at you as loud as they were. You’ll have a reason that propels you forward and gives you the confidence to face uncertainty.

Curiosity charges up your “why” with more power than your fears.

Not only in making life moves, but in establishing new relationships. Suppose you’re looking to meet new friends or start dating again after a tough breakup. In that case, it’s been proven curiosity can be the key to personal growth.

Their study concludes that the degree to which people are curious actively influences their personal growth opportunities and the level of intimacy that develops when they meet someone new.

-Patricia Donovan

Sometimes “What if?” Looking back on my life, what if I was never curious about Japanese culture and language? I would never have had the balls to move there to teach English.

My interest in the Japanese language was strong. Still, I’ve always been too shy to speak other languages easily in front of people.

As the only foreigner in my town, living in Japan forced me to learn Japanese and speak it often. I had to push past my fears and face the embarrassment of mispronouncing words in front of native speakers.

What if, when another American teacher of English invited me to hang out with her new Japanese girlfriends and mentioned, “They’re both single!” and If I had said, “No, thanks.”

I would never have met my wife.

I needed to follow the curiosity and interest in who her friends were. Of course, they might have been people I didn’t get along well with, and we could have had a terrible time together. It was a risk I will take because I was curious.

Curiosity leads me overseas and to meeting the woman of my dreams. Travel and relationships aren’t easy, but they’re an example of how your life can change if you are interested in the wider world.

What about my friend who’s afraid of making changes? I wouldn’t give him unsolicited advice, but here are the benefits of curiosity I would share if he ever asks.

When you live with an active sense of curiosity:

You will never get bored

Having an interest in many new things means learning and adjusting regularly. Yes, the positive side effect is never getting bored.

How could you when you constantly have new experiences and relationships to navigate and explore?

If you ever run out of interest, ask more questions.

You will learn to embrace discomfort

There’s always going to be discomfort in any decision or path you choose to take. If you say it’s too scary and do nothing, you’ll have to deal with the discomfort of not reaching your goals.

When you decide to go for it, there’s also discomfort, but for something you really want.

Choose the discomfort that gets you closer to your dreams.

If you want to move forward in life, you’d better become familiar with and embrace the fear.

You will approach life with an open mind as a learner and observer

Living with curiosity also means you will have an easier time remembering information and a more accessible time learning skills connected with your new pursuits. As you learn more, you have a deeper understanding of how things work and why people are the way they are. You grow.

This will help open your mind and create even more questions you want answers to down the line. Each part of what you do in business and life will take on new meaning.

Conclusion

Live with curiosity. It hurts me to have friends who are not interested in experiencing more of what life offers just because of their fear. When you’re aware of your comfort zone, know that you can choose to step out and do more.

All you have to do is to be curious and follow where your questions lead you.

7 Incredibly Easy Morning Routine Ideas

There’s so much more than just getting up early

Woman Waking Up Photo.jpg

“Morning routines sound good, but they’re too hard for me,” is what a lot of people say. What can you do to make them more comfortable and fit into your busy life? I’ll share seven ideas to add to your morning routine, but I want you to know this, you don’t have to do them all. You can make morning routines easier.

Adding even one from the list can make a huge difference in how you feel and approach your day. If you can do all of them, excellent. Just one or two? Awesome!

The benefits of getting your mind and body focused in the morning include helping to put you in the right frame of mind for your day, increasing productivity, and boosting your energy levels.

Maybe you’ve heard, or even read, the book “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod. Out of all the articles I read on this topic, his book inspired me to make the most of the early hours. It helped me understand that a morning routine can be what you decide works best for your life and individual needs. It’s not an all-or-nothing practice where there are no benefits if you don’t do all the 127 things on your list.

I like the idea of flexibility, picking what you enjoy doing each morning and letting it be okay If you can’t do it all, for whatever reason.

We don’t have to deal with absolutes. Just because someone like well-known productivity master Elon Musk wakes up at 7 am every day and religiously checks his “critical emails” first thing doesn’t mean you have to do exactly the same.

Oprah is not an early riser — getting up around 8 am is natural for her — and then walking her dogs for fresh air and exercise to get her blood pumping. Pretty simple yet powerful.

Take a look at these possible morning activities and pick one or more that you can add to your routine each morning.

1. Getting up early

People love to debate the perfect time to get up early. Is it 4 am? 5? My advice is to work on getting up one hour earlier than you normally do, even if that takes away from your 8 hours of sleep. In my opinion, the 8 hours rule is overrated. Getting 6–8 hours is fine, then drink caffeine to get you going.

I put this as #1 because rising earlier gives you more time to do the things on your morning routine list and even creates time for doing things you love like reading or writing. More time in the morning is like the gift that keeps on giving.

I get up at 4:30 am to draw comics and write Medium articles. Throughout the day, thinking about all I was able to do in the morning, helps me feel energized — like a natural high.

2. Drinking water with lemon

Making sure to drink a tall glass of water when you first wake up is essential for hydration but squeezing in a slice of lemon brings it up a notch. Dropping the lemon slice into the water after the squeeze not only adds more flavor, you take in all that vitamin C and reap the benefits it provides for healthy skin and body.

Lemon in your water can help with weight loss as well. Research shows polyphenol antioxidants found in lemons substantially reduce weight gain in overfed mice. Yes, on mice, not humans, but the antioxidant compounds also offset the adverse effects on their blood glucose levels and improved insulin resistance. Not too shabby for sour fruit.

3. Appreciating what you have

One way to combat sadness and depression is by thinking about what you have and feeling grateful. Gratitude is an effective way of appreciating how lucky you are to be alive and paying attention to all you did to get where you are now.

Depending on your situation, you may be having such a challenging time in life right now that you have to go to the basics like giving thanks for sleeping well and waking up to a fresh new day. My gratitude thinking involves paying attention to how I feel inside when I think about what I have. This awareness connects with the next activity on the list…

4. Practicing mindfulness

Simply paying attention to how you feel and what you’re thinking can work wonders. Sitting quietly and taking deep breaths as you quiet your mind. This could mean ten to twenty minutes of meditation or sitting and paying attention to any fears or concerns you’re having about your day. Even reading books on spirituality can make you stop and put more awareness on right now.

Reading philosophy excerpts on stoicism, I keep a few books on my desk for easy access, which helps me get in a place to notice the present. How I choose to think dictates my life and well-being. If you don’t have much time, pay attention to how your body moves and how you feel as you get ready in the morning.

I love the idea of “Looking at your hands” as a way to notice what you’re doing and appreciating what you’re able to do. I’ll often take a second and note to myself, “My hands are typing right now.” or “I’m cooking dinner for my family.” The mix of gratitude and mindfulness this creates will help you take a deep breath and feel centered.

5. Moving your body

Giving yourself time for physical exercise or movement in the morning is magical for your thinking and physical energy. Any time, from a few minutes of stretching to thirty minutes of walking or yoga, will do wonders for your mindset.

I love doing yoga poses and taking walks. Suppose I can combine a short run with the walk, even better. I finish feeling awake, alert, and optimistic about what lies ahead.

6. Doing strength exercises

Doing strength exercises like push-ups or pull-ups or weight training, if you have a set up in your home, takes a lot of motivation to do in the morning. If you can get even a few minutes of resistance or muscle-building exercises in, though, you’ll feel stronger and more confident in just about all areas of your day.

I enjoy doing push-ups, and I tend to be off-and-on with pull-ups. They can make my wrists hurt, which makes it harder for me to enjoy drawing. That’s an excuse. I’m well aware because pull-ups are so hard for me. This makes me want to avoid them. Because of this, though, when I do pull-ups, I feel stronger for overcoming my fears.

Fit what you can in, and our last tip will bring it all together.

7. Saying what you want like you already have it

Affirmations are a classic morning ritual that many people feel can be a bit cheesy. I would say no morning routine is complete without a little personal positive encouragement.

You could do the standing in the mirror looking at yourself and loudly proclaiming, “I’m a success!” approach or choose to say positive affirmations to yourself in your head.

Unfortunately, I tend to think of the negatives about myself first. One thing that helps is re-framing my thinking. So, as soon as I think of something negatively, I switch it to a positive and say it as if it already exists. Instead of “I only have a few freelance writing gigs,” I’ll change it to, “I have so many writing gigs, I have to turn some down.” Whatever the subject matter, make sure to say affirmations in the present tense and feel as if you achieved them or have them right now.

You can do all of these if you have time in the morning. If not, do what you can. If you’re unsure which ones will stick or how many are right, try adding one new activity each week until you reach your desired number. You can scale back or adjust anytime you need.

Mornings are full of hope, and when you rise, your mind is open, well-rested, and ready for the new day. Give yourself the mental and physical boost to conquer each day with confidence and success. Choose your combination, even if your routine is different every day, and make it happen.

Can You Stay Who You Are While Living Overseas?

Photo by note thanun on Unsplash

Photo by note thanun on Unsplash

I know people who believe you can never change

“If I move to another country, I’m staying myself. There’s no way I’m becoming a different person.” 

A coworker said to me after telling him about my experiences living in Japan for two years, meeting my wife, and explaining how the experience changed me for the better. I shared that I had to become a different person while living there. The look of utter disbelief on his face threw me off. 

He couldn’t see something like that happening to him. He explained further, “You never stop being who you are just because you’re in a different place. I’m always me at my core.” 

I understood where he was coming from but disagreed and couldn’t think of what to say at the time in response. I knew for a fact this person never lived overseas. How could he know? I learned that he had visited other countries, sometimes for several weeks, but never spent a year or more in one. Let alone a country in Asia. 

Living as an expat takes an open mind and a great deal of flexibility. 

I believe, to respect the culture you’re living in, you have to change some of who you are if you hope to join in and succeed. Some of it means living the saying “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” 

The other side involves making peace with becoming a different person. You can’t stop it from happening. Accepting your change doesn’t make you weak. 

If you’re a good person at heart, I think you can stay you deep down, but you will grow and evolve. I’ve seen how living abroad can change people for the worse and how they can even surprise themselves. 

As soon as you leave a familiar environment and accept the fact that you’re not going back to it anytime soon, you change. 


The jolt of culture shock hits right after arriving in Japan.  

I moved to Osaka to teach English in Junior High Schools with the JET Programme. My interest in learning about the country, culture, and language brought me there. The application process for JET took almost a year, so I was thrilled when I was accepted and finally arrived.

JET chooses where to place you but gives you the option of living in the city, suburbs, or countryside. I’m not a big city person, so I chose the suburbs. Even though I knew very little Japanese, I figured there would be enough people who spoke English there to help me settle into life. 

I was wrong.

Another JET teacher who lived in a town nearby was sent to my little area of Shimamoto, thirty minutes north of Osaka city by train, to help show me the basics. The apartment JET chose for me was old and unfurnished. I had to shop for futon mattresses, no western-style bed, that I would roll out every night to sleep right on the tatami mat floor. Totally different from how I slept in the U.S.  

August, one of the hottest months in Japan, and my air conditioning unit was broken. I met the other JET teacher in town, and she told me I could buy a new one, but it might take a few days to get it delivered and installed. Of course, she, or someone who could speak Japanese, would need to come with me to buy one.

I remember crying alone that night thinking, “What have I done?” Traveled across the world from Atlanta, Georgia, to Osaka, Japan, without friends or family to live in an old hot, and humid apartment without air conditioning. The culture shock hit me hard. 

Someone had to help me open a bank account, teach me how to get around on the subway. I worked in a school where I was the only non-Japanese person and couldn’t understand what anyone said.

Needless to say, I was uncomfortable. Living with discomfort was my everyday reality.   

Did this change me? How could you say it wouldn’t? 

I had experience with living abroad as a youth. My father worked as a diplomat, and I was fortunate to live in countries like Germany and the Bahamas during my middle school years. Moving to Germany was difficult because I didn’t speak the language. It was scary going out with family and not knowing what people were saying. 

The way of life was similar enough to America I found. People were a little more reserved and private than in Georgia and took a long time to get to know you. Over time, I learned to understand the people and culture. I got the idea that the language barrier and having patience with settling in was the most challenging part about living in another country.     

Traveling to live in Japan as an adult changed me even further. I was still me, but I discovered there can be much more to adjusting to a place when it’s very different than anywhere you’ve lived before. 

I truly became a new version of myself.

If I had time to explain all of this to my coworker and condense it down clearly and concisely, I wonder if he would see my side? 

Yes. You could be stubborn. Try and decide to behave like nothing in this new country can change you. I have a few ways this might prove difficult, however. Especially if you live in an Asian country where so much is so different. 

The rules of polite society force you to change. 

When you meet new people in Japan, you bow instead of shake hands. If you decide that just isn’t you and try to force a handshake, it will come off as odd or worse, rude. Not only do you bow, but you must learn not to bow too low depending on who you’re with. If you’re with a manager or an elder and you only give a little head nod, you’ll look like you’re being disrespectful. 

Learning these specific cultural rules was exciting to me, but I didn’t catch on all that fast. I can’t even count the number of times I bent my head down low to bow for the principal at my school, and someone pulled me aside later to let me know, “Your bow. It was too low.”

Eventually, I learned but let me tell you, I still make mistakes today. Not growing up with this custom means it isn’t second nature and can be frustrating at times. Learning how to bow is a part of living in Japan; you must learn.   

You are seen as a foreigner and not a citizen.

As an expat in Japan, you’re seen as a minority, even though you might have been part of the majority in your home country. Several white friends of mine had a real hard time with this realization. They stood out everywhere and weren’t used to it. 

They were seen as exotic and strange yet cool and interesting but not looked at as equals. Not as Japanese. If you don’t look Asian, you will be seen as a foreigner immediately—you can’t blend in. Even if you’ve lived in Japan for thirty years. 

You start to see yourself differently. Wondering what you can do to fit in. Learning to speak Japanese to communicate better or working for a Japanese company might help. Perhaps, but on the outside, you’ll still look foreign—different.

What might this do to you over a long period of time? Thinking it won’t mold you into a different person isn’t realistic. 


Getting away with more than in your home country.

Looking different and being a foreigner in Japan has its advantages as well. You can get away with not following some of the rules of society in ways Japanese people can’t. No one will expect you to be an expert with all the rules of Japanese society. 

Some Japanese friends you make may feel envious of how much more relaxed your life can be in Japan compared to theirs. 

When my wife and I were visiting Tokyo several years ago, we had our suitcase with us after checking out of our hotel but wanted to do more sightseeing. A major hotel chain in the area we wanted to explore had a line of people, staying at the hotel, no doubt, giving their bags over to be held until they checked in. I had the idea to act like we were staying there and ask them to hold our suitcase until we come back in a few hours.

My Japanese wife, thought it wouldn’t work, especially if she’s with me. As a tall Black man from America, I could probably get away with it by myself, though. I had to try. 

Sure enough, I got in line, fully expecting someone to ask me which room I’m staying in or to show proof I checked in at the hotel, but no. They just smiled, took my bag, and gave me a return ticket—as my wife watched in amazement at a distance.

This is called a “Gaijin Smash” by some expats. When you take advantage of a situation, most Japanese citizens can’t because you know you won’t get in trouble. The word “gaijin” is slang for foreigners. This fact makes overseas travelers say and do things they never would at home, somewhat like foreigner privilege. 

There’s no way I would have tried something like this in America. I felt a bit guilty for flexing my foreign powers, but we were able to enjoy the rest of the day without lugging our suitcase around. When I came to pick my bag up, they happily returned it free of charge with no questions asked. 

The fact that this is possible changes you. You rationalize and try to make it okay by thinking of all your frustrations with living in the country. Reviewing in your head the times you didn’t fit in, made mistakes, and embarrassed yourself. The studying like crazy to learn the language and never speaking quite fluently enough. “I deserve some breaks every now and then.” you think. 

Living in Japan is hard. Making a life for yourself is challenging anywhere, let alone in a foreign country. 

The expat exceptionalism can consume you. Unless you paid attention to how you’ve changed and decided what stays and what goes, it could turn you into a monster. Recognizing the privilege that comes with being different in Japan means thinking deeply about your actions and who you are. 

I don’t think I did as much of that before Japan.  


Allowing people who are different from us to open our minds. 

Learning to live in another culture can help you appreciate differences and see people for who they are as humans. Because of this, you’re forced to look in the mirror at yourself and your beliefs. In fact, that can be the most challenging part of travel. 

My coworker may feel like living abroad could never change him, but it’s inevitable. You will change. 

If you live in Europe, maybe not as much. Surely, you will need to adjust to different cultural expectations there, too, and different attitudes towards world politics, religion, and relationships. You will still grow and change.   

If we can see that as a good side effect to travel and accept rather than reject how we’ve adapted to new environments, our tolerance for differences will grow. I hope more people will spend time in other countries and take on the personal growth involved in living abroad. 

You can read Khalid Birdsong’s comic strip inspired by his experiences living in Japan at www.friedchickenandsushi.com 



Use This Mindset Shift to Consume Less and Create More

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Complaining about not getting enough done was a constant issue for me. The funny thing was, I was complaining while watching TV shows or scrolling through my phone.

With so much content to read and watch, it was difficult to say no. I made it a habit to complain about distractions in the world getting in the way of my productivity until I realized it’s my choice to turn off screens and decide how much time I spend on them.

Most importantly, I have the power to change my mindset. I am in control.

It’s perfectly acceptable not to keep up with all the new shows and latest controversial articles or news on social media. I made a conscious effort to limit how much I consume to have more time to create, and it was life-changing.

Maybe you think this is too hard for you. I think, once you realize how gratifying it is to get more of your creative work done, you will forget about most of those binge-worthy shows.

Let’s be clear, though, I was not addicted to TV or social media, but when I noticed I was spending two to three hours a day watching something, anything, just to have it on, I had to make a change.

Drastically limiting screen time

During weekdays, I cut out TV shows and pair down cell phone checking to spend more time reading. Books on writing, philosophy, business, comic books, and graphic novels are my favorites — a mix of entertainment and education.

My goal is to keep phone checking time to under an hour. I need to go in and promote my work on social media, but I only scroll for a few minutes and behave like the longer I stay there, the hotter it gets. I gotta get off before I get burned!

If I watch anything during the week, it’s a YouTube video or interview with someone giving advice on how they succeeded. Something I can listen to while drawing my comic strips or writing articles.

I take in content that will educate and inspire me to make more and stay motivated. The course I’m taking by Ayodeji Awosika on writing for Medium is perfect for listening to while creating.

There are lessons I view multiple times, so the information sticks. I believe taking in content that feeds your heart and mind is the best use of weekday time.

On the weekends, I’ll watch TV shows, but I limit them to series that are my favorites. Ones I can’t wait to see.

I no longer turn the TV on and leave it on to have something in the background to half-watch. Everything I consume is intentional. Two hours at the most. When the shows I wanted to see are done, I turn the boob tube off, back to the quiet.

I have more time to think, and calm helps improve my mood and outlook on life.

I feel happier

Making the decision to consume less TV and social media has brought more joy into my life. Without constantly “watching,” I’m spending more time “being” and paying attention to what I truly value in life: my family, writing, drawing, and good food.

The extra hours are now for writing articles or drawing new comic pages to learn and grow as an artist. I replaced screens with creative time.

I know that TV programs are fun to watch and can bring joy, but too much ends up making me feel jealous or depressed about not having enough money or material possessions in my own life. Cutting back on watching content needlessly gives me more peace. I don’t miss it.

All it took was making a decision to take in less and create more

The fact that you’re reading this is a testament to that choice. No more talking about getting creative work done. Now, I’m doing it consistently and reaping the benefits.

Spending more time creating work I love brings joy and a sense of fulfillment no screen can provide.

The Mandalorian Effect: If You’re Not Living by a Code, Your Mission in Life Will Most Likely Fail

Photo by Michael Marais on Unsplash


This is the way — to success


You are on a mission. A mission to reach success and live the life you’ve always dreamed of. If only you had a solid way of thinking and living to help guide you on your journey. It’s a big galaxy out there, but success is not as far, far away as it might seem.

My name is Din Djarin. I am a bounty hunter. You may know me as The Mandalorian. I’m here to impart my wisdom and moral code to you. Only if you choose to accept it.

Why you ask? After successfully delivering the child, baby Grogu, to Luke Skywalker of the Jedi Order, I’ve decided to take some time to put down my thoughts on success so that others can benefit. I have met others I thought lived by the Mandalorian way — such as never removing their helmet — but changed the rules to fit their personal needs.

With this in mind, I have come to understand you can start with beliefs you were taught as a child and build on them to create a code of your own to follow without fail. A code that helps you reach your goals with more ease. If you do not live by this code, I believe you will most likely fail.

As a Mandalorian, I have many sayings that I live by. Such as:

“Justice by single combat and always honoring one’s deals.” -The Mandalorians

I live by this but have also added new phrases that can help you on your travels towards prosperity. Whether it’s here or throughout the galaxy. If you are ready to level up, then follow my words.


Discipline is the true force

If you cannot consistently get the work done you vowed to complete, you will fail. No magic can save you. With life moving at lightspeed, you must practice discipline in all you do. Having the mindset to work consistently on your goals is the key. For that, you must decide to be a disciplined person — one who makes certain to complete all the tasks on their list no matter the circumstances.

I was trained from a young boy to follow what I was told by the elder Mandalorians. They taught me to listen and follow, but I have learned to take full responsibility for my life as a grown man. It is my job to take what they taught me, keep myself strong, and not blame them for my faults.

Only the discipline of adhering to daily training and hours of focused work will help you get where you want to go. Decide on why you are pursuing your mission. Make sure your “why” is compelling enough to get you up and rise to the challenge.


Establishing a routine gets you to your goals like riding a speeder bike — fast and direct

Find the same time each day to do the work. Use your disciplined mind to ensure you stick to a schedule you have planned out in advance. Do not throw your day together whenever it suits you. The morning is a productive time for getting thinking work done or exercising your body. When I rise, polishing my Mandalorian armor until it gleams is a cathartic practice. My mind is clear, and I am fully present with my thoughts as I plan the day ahead.

Utilize the technology of your planet and block off time in your day for what you must do. If you have trouble remembering, set a droid to remind you. Do what you must to make your routine into a habit, and your mind will expect to tackle everything on your list each day.

I believe in the mornings because no matter what planet I’m on, the sun rises and sets. Even if my days as a bounty hunter are unpredictable, at some point, the night will come, and I must sleep. Your routines will be accomplished if they are during times, you can always rely on.


Consistent practice sticks with you like an octopus attached to your ship

The truth is, you must practice improving. Remember that the amount of time does matter, but not as much as what you practice. Make sure it is of value.

Study the masters and discover what they practiced. Learn what you must to grow and then go all-in on your training every day.

Maneuvering the Razor Crest during a chase is definitely a stressful situation but, because of the flight training I acquired working with experienced pilots as a youth, knowing how and where to move to evade danger is now intuitive. I might not always get away, but from practice and experience, I have a fighting chance.

When you have focus, consistency, and patience, anything is possible. There were days when I thought Grogu would never get to the Jedi. I could not see the way forward. I know now that my singular focus on that goal, combined with consistent action, invariably led to a person who could assist us. My training helped us escape perilous situations, attracted a little luck, and manifested good fortune.

Photo by Jimmy Nguyen on Unsplash

All of this would not have been possible without living by a code I adhere to through good times and bad. Write out yours. Make decisions about how you will live your life and stick to them as closely as possible.

One day you will be able to share your code with others and tell them, “This is the way.”


Star Wars, The Mandalorian, and its characters are the property of Disney and Lucasfilm.


The “New Normal” Mindset: 3 Hard Truths About Post Pandemic Life

Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

I just got my first dose of the vaccine, the Moderna one, the other day and immediately felt relieved. “I’m safe.” I thought.

A few minutes later, I was back to fearing for my life.

Thankfully, I had no serious side effects, but a small amount of pain in my arm and feeling tired and low energy the next day. It’s all good now, though.

As a teacher, I should feel better, more positive at this point, right? I’m one of the ones getting vaccinated. There’s nothing else to worry about. I wish that were true.

I’m filled with concerns about going back into the classroom and getting exposed to COVID-19.

I’m lucky to have the opportunity to receive the vaccine. However, the risks and reasons for getting jabbed are still frightening. My work will require me to come back on campus in the next few weeks with other teachers and students who could be spreading the virus.

The reality of it all is frightening, but it’s something I realized we all need to be aware of and build up our mental and emotional strength to face. Living in our modern world means taking more risks with our lives than before.

The hard truths below may be uncomfortable to hear. They were for a person who’s mainly positive like me. After living in countries like Germany and Japan, I can take more of an “American looking from the outside in” approach to getting back to normal life. I want to help put your mind in a solid place where you’re looking at reality and facing it head-on.

Variants of the virus can kill us

Realizing this fact is like the “New Normal Mindset,” in my opinion. Accepting that you can’t hide from the virus. Even when deaths slow down, the virus itself will most likely continue to spread. You will need to go out in the world and face it. We will all live with the risk of getting sick, even when life looks normal again.

If variants of the virus keep popping up and most likely continue spreading in the states, even if you’re vaccinated, who knows how effective that will be on keeping you healthy if you get infected.

What bothers me the most is that as a teacher, I have to go back to work at some point soon, teaching remotely isn’t effective for most students, so if I want to support my family and eat, I have no choice but to take a risk on my life and health.

Going back will be after taking both vaccines in my case. Still, I’ve accepted the possibilities of getting seriously sick — and I ain’t no spring chicken. I’m 45 years old, so I’ve lived some life, and if you’re in my age group, you also need to be more concerned than someone in their 20's.

Americans need to get comfortable with wearing masks

I love America, but the freedom argument in this country has gone way too far. It’s only putting a mask over your face, not gagging your free speech. I know we don’t like someone telling us what to do, but let’s clarify that caring for others means putting the group’s needs first before the individual. The idea of risking your “freedom” by wearing a mask seems insane to me, but it’s what we need to do.

Wearing masks is something we’re all going to have to get used to over the next couple of years if we want to survive. Let’s hope new mask technology will be released to make this choice easier for those who can’t wear one for health reasons or refuse to wear one as their personal choice. Masks that are clear glass but do not fog up when you speak, for example, or some kind of clear mesh that fits comfortably, but you can see a person’s mouth move.

Like Japan, citizens of countries in Asia are comfortable wearing masks when they’re sick and need to ride on the train together or while working in the office. It’s seen as a sign of respect for others around you. When I was there, I appreciated that someone was making sure not to spread their germs to others.

You would think that over half a million deaths in America would wake people up to what’s important. Saving lives, not complaining about putting on a mask, something that benefits us all in the long run.

You are not the exception

One of the main reasons the virus spread so fast in the U.S. is that people didn’t believe they would get infected. Why? Because of exceptionalism. We think we’re special, untouchable even.

exceptionalism ĭk-sĕp′shə-nə-lĭz″əm

  • n. The condition of being exceptional or unique.

  • n. The theory or belief that something, especially a nation, does not conform to a pattern or norm.

  • n. The state of being special, exceptional, or unique

Let’s stop exceptionalism thinking and start paying attention to reality. America is a phenomenal country, but it can get hit hard by a virus, terrorism, and, yes, even racist attacks on its own citizens. We are not above it all or so “woke” to not have dark and terrible events occur in our own backyards.

Feeling like a unique and special person is good for self-confidence, and we should make sure that also comes with a healthy dose of humility.

Adopt the new normal mindset and grow stronger

When you look at the world as it is and understand that there are some things you can’t change but must accept to stay alive and thrive, you’re in good shape. This crazy and scary reality may be one we have to navigate, but it’s how you think about it that will make the difference. I also dream of the days we can all meet again without social distancing and can hug our loved ones.

Even when that day comes, we will still be taking risks with catching the virus. Each new day is a chance to also practice a new normal mindset — it’s time we live with the truth and keep moving forward.

When TV Becomes Less Interesting, I'll Start Writing

When TV Becomes Less Interesting, I'll Start Writing

Every time I sit down to write an article, I remember an amazing show I forgot to watch on Netflix or a video I needed to see on YouTube. Do you know what I do? That’s right, I get up and watch them both. They’re so good — and they help me write. A story idea could be in there or some exciting take on a concept to improve my writing. Other writers I know tell me to stop watching and start reading. Books are where you learn to write. Reading another writer’s words helps you grow. Who has time for that?

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Want to Learn to Nap on a Train? Here’s how

Sometimes you need to sleep. I’m talking about amongst the people, on a train or bus, or even in the park. Life can be exhausting. Why can’t we do some of our recharging in public? 

Well, now you can, with this simple three-step method inspired by my years living in Japan. The word “inemuri” means being present while you sleep. It’s synonymous with sleeping on the job or in public places. The Japanese are so overworked that it’s become commonplace to see a large number of people sleeping just about anywhere.

Taking naps is said to be a good thing. Even though accepted in Japan, it’s not allowed at work—even though that rule is mostly ignored all the time. If you’re in a location where you can set an alarm to wake you, it’s relatively easy, but what if you’re on a train or the subway? Not waking up in time for your stop can be frightening. 

Listen in as our Japanese raccoon, Tanuki, from Fried Chicken and Sushi comics explores how to nap on the subway in three steps. 

  1. Decide to give it a try with the intent to master inemuri with help from others.

FCSLittleMaiTanuki_INEMURI_1.jpg

2. Pick a friend or family member who you know would never let their guard down.

FCSLittleMaiTanuki_INEMURI_2.jpg

3. Ride on a train with a loudspeaker that penetrates your soul.

FCSLittleMaiTanuki_INEMURI_3.jpg

Great job! If you follow these Tanuki steps, you too will be sleeping on the train in no time. Just imagine the freedom you’ll have to get the rest you need anywhere you have to wait. 

Take these tips to the cafe, while waiting for your coffee, or to the DMV, waiting for your number to be called. There are so many uses, and you’ll feel well-rested and ready to tackle whatever life throws at you daily.

Now, get out there and nap.

How I Tried Getting my Family to Move Faster

How I Tried Getting my Family to Move Faster

I was tired of waiting. We planned to leave fifteen minutes ago, and I’m standing at the door with my shoes on, ready to go. My wife is looking for her mask and deciding which coat to put on. My ten-year-old daughter wants to wear shorts and a T-shirt in the cold and no mask—I have to keep sending her back to her room to change clothes. What can I do?

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