4 Signs You’re an Unapologetic Introvert
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Illustrated by the author.
Who won’t let extroverts get in your way
Do you have what it takes to be introverted and still succeed?
Our society places a load of respect on extroverts and the importance of breaking out of your shell. But is being a social butterfly really the height of human existence?
If you’re the type of person who wants to hide away from it all and spend your time working on projects, it’s viewed as a negative that can often hurt introverts.
I’m an introvert, trained to be more social and extroverted because I thought it would help me succeed. Now, I’m discovering I don’t need to put myself out there as much as I once thought.
Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re weak.
I’m sure there are introverts with more confidence than me. Living extraordinary lives — working behind the scenes and staying comfortable in the shadows — being who they are meant to be.
And not apologizing for it at all.
I believe the idea of whether or not you’re extroverted or introverted is a relatively new concept in our society. So when I asked my parents which one they are, they were surprised by this distinction, and I had to explain the differences to help them pick.
An extrovert is outwardly focused and not only enjoys socializing with others but gets energized by attending significant events and parties. Spending a great deal of time in groups and talking with someone else brings them to life. They need the time together with people to fill up their tanks and to feel fulfilled.
On the flip side, an introvert is more inwardly focused and might enjoy social activities. Still, it gets their energy sucked out of them by spending too much time around others. It doesn’t mean they’re just shy. I actually love talking with friends and going to fun events. Still, I can only stay for a certain amount of time before I’m exhausted.
For an introvert like me, going home and having quiet time alone helps to recharge my batteries to feel like myself again. Relaxing with a good book or having a chance to be in my own head while writing or drawing feels like heaven.
Let’s decide right now to not let extroverts put us down.
This looks like a black and white type of issue, but it isn’t. The degree to which side you fall on varies. You could have a little more extroversion but love your time alone to think and process your experiences.
Wherever you may fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum, you should feel good about it. Some studies show introverts don’t need to behave like extroverts.
As introverts, we have what it takes to be successful in business and in life. But it just might look a little different.
Maybe even better.
Here are four signs of unapologetic introverts and how you can be more like them:
1. They stay quiet and keep their heads up
Being introverted is fantastic. Accepting that fact with confidence and pride is essential for success. But, of course, there’s nothing wrong with acting like an extrovert to properly introduce yourself to new people and engage in exciting conversations.
Still, it doesn’t mean you have to be outgoing at all times.
How to do it:
When you feel like leaving — for time alone to recharge — do it. Think about how vital it is for you to have time to yourself and figure out a thoughtful way to say, “Thanks, but I gotta go.” then escape.
No matter how tempting it is to try forcing yourself to speak up in meetings, for example, when you’d rather listen, go with what your gut tells you. You can say to yourself, “There’s power in silence.” to give you the confidence to stay quiet.
If you have something to say, share it, but don’t feel obligated.
2. They know what they want ahead of time
Unapologetic introverts think ahead and know how they’ll behave around others because they’re comfortable being themselves. They understand that sometimes they have to do extroverted activities and be more outgoing. Still, they can put a limit on how often.
Did you know, introverts excel at problem-solving, academics, regulating their behavior, and taking fewer risks that may cause harm compared to extroverts. In other words, they’re thinkers, and I would guess, planners.
Use this to your advantage.
How to do it:
Prepare for the situation you are about to enter and decide how you’ll handle things. Know what you want to receive and how you’d like to be perceived and be ready with responses based on your personal beliefs. This may be you deciding on boundaries of what you will and will not do or how someone will treat you.
Begin with the end in mind. Even picking work or a business that doesn’t require you to be around a large number of people for hours on end takes knowledge of self and forethought.
I like choosing to spend time talking with one good friend instead of several together at a large gathering. Studies have shown that the connection and meaning I and other introverts get from more intimate conversations helps bring them joy.
If you’re someone who values the individual person you’re with, the other person will sense they have your full attention and feel special.
3. They protect their solitude
Courageous introverts know when to say “No” and are not ashamed when they need time away. True solitude must be scheduled when you have a busy life and a load of responsibilities. Alone time and creative thinking breaks are like that precious pot of gold they guard with their life.
Come to think of it, they take time for fun, not just make time. Introverts do the work that makes money and the side hustle that is their passion but will make sure to spend quiet time on activities for sheer fun and enjoyment.
How to do it:
Taking away from other activities or chores for what brings you joy is a start. In addition, learning to manage your time better is a massive help and can free up more space for quiet reflection.
Add your solitude retreats to your calendar. Make them just as important as a meeting with a client. The more you see it on your list of to-dos for the day, the more you’ll take them seriously.
If someone tries to cut into your solitude time, tell them no, unless it’s an emergency, then add another solitude entry on your calendar right away.
4. They let others know what they need
What if someone doesn’t understand your decisions? No worries. Introverts worth their salt are not afraid to explain who they are when deemed necessary. After all, who else will look out for them?
The default behavior in society is extroversion, so if you’re moving in the other direction, let ’em know.
You can be direct and clear about what you need and why.
How to do it:
Share, openly and honestly, when you’re not comfortable doing something and let people know why. Then, the other person will see what you need and get to know you as an individual.
Suppose I need time to myself to draw, for example. In that case, it’s better to talk to my wife about possible times in the day where I can have a couple of hours to illustrate a comic strip.
She knows me well, but I can still tell her I’m feeling emotionally drained and need time to refill my creative spirit. That way, she gets that I’m not trying to run away from her, but the time is for helping me stay balanced.
When you’re an unapologetic introvert, you teach people how to treat you and show them who you are. Give them the reasons for your choices but add how they will benefit you and how not doing it could possibly hurt.
One example, if you’re uncomfortable with a crowded gathering, you have no problems saying, “No, thank you. That event will be overly stimulating for me and drain my energy.”
Naturally, there are times when you must put yourself out there for business or help family and friends. If the person cares for you, though, they’ll understand if you decline. But, on the other hand, if they don’t understand, well, you know that living authentically as an introvert means there’s no reason to apologize.
Final thoughts
Let’s value our quiet alone time more often and embrace solitary thinkers. Hiding from socializing doesn’t mean you’re weak. Instead, accept the power of being who you’re truly meant to be.
You don’t have to be the center of attention to gain respect. In fact, if you’re someone who listens and asks pointed questions well, people will admire your attention and care for them and the situation. Especially if it’s clear you don’t need to be in the spotlight.
You’re fine speaking only when necessary.
When you’re proud to be an introvert, you’ll discover your quiet confidence has value and will garner respect. So go forth, and be the introvert you were meant to be today.
