Meditation is amazing but, what if you hate being with yourself? 3 powerful ways to tolerate time alone with your thoughts
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Life can be stressful. People say, “Make time to meditate. Quiet your mind, and it will melt all your worries away.” That’s nice and all but, what if you can’t stand being with yourself?
I’m serious, what if you feel like a jerk inside and want nothing to do with that person?
Let’s say you sit down, in that awkwardly uncomfortable folded legs position—lotus I think it’s called—puff your chest out and close your eyes. Your annoying mind keeps yelling at you.
Not even about important topics. Just dumb stuff, like what to eat for breakfast and which podcast you’ll listen to on the way to work.
Annoying.
You’ve heard some of those benefits of meditation; a focused mind, inner peace, and more patience to approach the challenges of daily life. It’s estimated that stress is the cause of 90% of doctor visits. That is insane.
We all definitely need more time for mindfulness in our lives. How can you shut off the mouthy jerk inside your head and focus on that sought after quiet?
Accept that your emotions want all of your attention and will try and distract you while you meditate.
This is normal. You’re not doing it wrong.
Let yourself be who and what you are at that moment. Be present. Even if all the mess in your head is driving you nuts.
Make peace with the anxious, emotional, and overly fearful part of yourself. It only wants to be heard, felt, and acknowledged.
2. Make those emotions stronger
If you have a lot on your mind, sit there and listen to yourself. If you notice strong feelings, pay attention to them. In fact, amplify them and make the emotions stronger.
Give each emotion and thought inside your head some of your time, notice where in your body the feelings are, and they will gradually dissolve away.
You’ll see that by sitting with your annoying voices and negative emotions and giving them your full attention, it will help you release and move on to the more positive ones.
When I started meditating regularly several years ago, this was tough for me.
I knew that I was never going to get rid of feeling crappy sometimes. Having the courage to sit with the mess of my thoughts was no easy task and I’m still no expert.
I have found, though, that giving all of those thoughts and their emotions, time in the spotlight then shining several other lights directly on them, helps them to disappear.
Meditating is generally pretty simple. Sit in a comfortable position with your legs folded, or on a chair with your hands in your lap. Breathe slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus on your breath.
When the thoughts start flooding in, treat them like that annoying coworker you barely know, who likes coming up and telling you all of their problems. You smile politely and nod, give them their time, until they finish and go away.
Know that you don’t have to be in total control. Even though it’s hard to let go and tune in, do your best to stay present.
3. Meditate for at least ten minutes
There’s something magical about getting to the ten-minute mark.
Give yourself time to move through emotions and reach calm. I’ve read that twenty-minutes of meditation is ideal, but I know for me, reaching ten minutes is where I begin to melt into the moment.
You’ll find those annoying voices will dissipate, and it will be easier to be in a state of tranquility.
You will begin to focus on the moment. You will find yourself. The true self that is always there but buried under all that mess.
Believe me, you’ll like how the “true you” feels. You want to make sure to meet.
What if you can’t spend 20-30 minutes meditating most days? Don’t worry about it.
If you can only do ten minutes, that’s what you do. Paying attention to yourself is the key.
Scheduling meditation time—making it a routine—is what keeps me on track. Every morning, it’s one of the first things I do.
I have grown to like my inner thoughts more, and I believe you can too.
When you go out and face the world, you will notice how much easier it will be to pay attention to one task at a time. You will feel less rushed. Anxiety will take a backseat, and you’ll gain more confidence and acceptance with the process of your regular daily life.
Do your best to sit in meditation for ten minutes every day. Experience all of your emotions fully.
Over time, you will understand and love yourself more, and the magic within each day will transform your life.
