3 Reasons to Stop Caring About Making Money From Writing

Share your work for free as often as you can.

Illustration by the author.

Writing only for money is a waste of time.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to earn dollars for your articles or sell millions of copies of your book—it shouldn’t be your main goal, though.

As a writer, teacher, and cartoonist, I’ve spent the past twenty years making money from what I love and also putting a ton of creative work out for free. The free stuff I shared was more fun and fulfilling than when I was paid mainly because I could do what I wanted and didn’t have to worry about pleasing anyone.

Rarely was I able to mix making money with something I had a passion for, like my comic strip Little Fried Chicken and Sushi. The strip started as a free webcomic about my experiences living in Japan, and I posted it online for four years, then it got syndicated online by Andrews McMeel Publishing.

Creating the comic was a labor of love, and I enjoyed the freedom to write my story and characters however I wanted. The delightful combination of writing and drawing together, which every cartoonist loves, stayed for many years, even with a wider audience reading.

I learned what it takes to consistently create content every week for years. One thing always rang true—you can’t only care about making money. Here are several ways to focus less on your bank account and more on the pleasure of writing.

1. Write because it’s fun

You get more out of it when you write for the joy of writing. Even if you’re someone in dire straits, who must get paid asap, get a job, any job to help pay your bills, to keep that joy alive while writing on the side. Don’t worry, your creativity will keep on popping.

Art is about creating for the sake of just that, creation.

We live in a time where you have the ability and means to create because it’s fun. There are still plenty of places on this planet where people are struggling in their living conditions or are in the middle of surviving a war.

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you have the opportunity to make stuff where and when you want. People in your family tree are smiling at all they worked hard to accomplish so you can have the freedom to write.

Work a job, write on the side until something connects with readers, and you can eventually leave it if you choose.

You’re not alone as someone who wants a successful career as a writer. It’s not uncommon for literary agents to receive anywhere from five thousand to twenty thousand query letters from authors seeking representation for their book manuscripts each year. Only a handful make it to a release through a major publishing house.

I’m not saying this to bring you down, just to throw a dose of reality onto your fire.

Whether you’re a successful writer or not, you will continue writing. I’ve had ups and downs, and still, I draw and write every day. Writing articles like this one feels good, and I also enjoy laughing when I finally come up with a funny gag for a comic strip.

I have a relationship, or marriage, with my creative interests that will last no matter how well I’m doing financially. I’ve been broke making my art and also know what it’s like to get a salary from making my art.

Both situations required I work continuously on improving my skills by doing the work. You’ve got to find the fun in creating daily to keep going even when times are tough.

2. Write to help others

Writing for yourself is fine, and if you’re working on a novel, it can be pretty rewarding. Creating stories that inspire others or articles to help people learn and grow in their lives can bring more fun to your writing practice.

Putting your work out into the world for free as often as possible will help you get noticed. When you inspire others, bringing value to people, even one person, you will reap the benefits.

Sometimes, it’s just one thank you email response or comment on your article from someone you helped. You’re instantly connected and feel a sense of true purpose. So, it’s not always money that motivates. Glowing with the knowledge, you helped another person—or thousands—get what they want out of life or feel more a part of theirs is transformational.

Not everyone can buy your books or pay to read what you’ve written online. Thanks to the internet, giving it away for free online makes it accessible to all and can reach more people who need your words.

You’ll be surprised at how much helping others helps you.

3. Write to heal yourself

I hear creatives whining about how difficult it is to write. If it’s so hard, why write at all? You could be watching TV or playing video games.

Could it be writing helps you feel better? It helps you process events in your life and understand your place in it? Maybe that’s a good reason to push through the pain of a problematic article draft or the frustration of a paragraph not coming together how you hoped.

Writing puts the pieces together in your mind and can mend your heart.

Does this sound like something that needs money to be worthwhile? You, putting your whole self into what you create makes it special.

Creating is never a waste of time, no matter how disappointed you may become with your results. You may think burnout or giving up on writing happens when you work too much. Actually, investing emotionally and then not getting a return on your investment is the problem.

When you can accept your mental healing as a valuable return, your fulfillment for helping others, and enjoyment with the process of writing as payment for your time, you’ll feel more satisfied.

Did you notice I didn’t highlight much about how writing all the time helps your skills grow? I’m sure you already know. Actually, it could be a whole article of its own. If you want to get better at something, do it every day. One more key to add is to do it with the intention of getting better.

And you will.

If something you wrote takes off, garners millions of readers, and makes you boatloads of money, magnificent. The rewards will taste sweeter because you know you did it for love, not money.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can learn to share your art with the world.

Watching People Litter in London Inspired This Easy Happiness Hack

Getting rid of the garbage in your mind without hesitation makes a huge difference.

Photo by Sabrina Mazzeo on Unsplash

Did he just dump his entire lunch onto the street?

I recently visited London for the first time and fell in love with the city and its people. There’s a charm that grabbed me, and history, with a bit of clotted cream on the side, keeping it on my mind. If you haven’t been, you should go. Escaping America again soon to experience more British culture is most definitely in the cards.

The only part of the trip that surprised me was how many people littered. Not just gum wrappers or small store receipts, but all the garbage in their pockets and more lying about on the streets.

I watched a man stop at a red light, open his car door, and throw all of his fast-food trash—his paper bag of food and cup of soda—out onto the street, then keep driving when the light turned green—no concern about the environment. No worries.

Garbage cans were hard to come by, but I wondered why people couldn’t keep their trash with them until they found one. Or, wait until they got home?

Big cities require you to walk and take public transportation, so you might not feel like trekking around all day with your garbage, so you drop it to lighten your load.

Getting rid of actual trash any time, anywhere, is a terrible thing to do. As a lover of metaphors, this made me think of the emotional baggage—or junk—we continually carry around and never get rid of in our lives.

What if we treated our trauma and emotional issues like the trash we must dump immediately? Not onto random strangers or everyone we know, but making a point to feel and process our emotions, then talk to good friends and therapists to help us unload our crap.

I like to call it “Positive littering for the mind," a more immediate way to get back to happiness.

To do it, though, you have to take an honest look at what you’re carrying.

The author in London by the Thames river and parliament.

Recognize your garbage

Sightseeing in London was jolly good fun. We stayed in an Airbnb apartment close to parliament and could walk over to the river Thames within ten minutes to view Big Ben and the London Eye Ferris wheel.

One of my favorite experiences was watching the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. They even had a marching band playing familiar songs like Phantom of the Opera and the Spiderman theme.

Taking in all the sites and over one thousand years of history hits you with awe for the beauty and culture, respect for what they’ve built, and anger at the atrocities of colonialism.

You have to face plenty of mixed emotions and serious issues when you make a point to look at what’s in front of you.

That’s why most people push their feelings down deep and ignore them. They won’t go away if you turn your back or stuff them somewhere in your heart. Yes, negative emotions like fear, shame, and disappointment are uncomfortable, but you have to feel them if you want them to dissipate.

Name these dark and deep emotions. Call them out. Or, at least think about why you’re feeling this way and what led to them. Knowing what you’re carrying can help you release later.

When I visit my inlaws in Japan, there are very few garbage cans when we’re out and about. People there tend to hold on to their trash, keeping it in their bags, purses, or pockets while walking. Therefore, I do the same.

You’re very aware you’re carrying your garbage, which can be pretty annoying.

It’s so satisfying when you get to a garbage can at the subway station or home and can dump it all out. After carrying it for a while, you’re very aware of all you have and enjoy watching it go where it belongs.

Throw your garbage out as soon as possible

I saw people in London littering, but I didn’t see a lot of litter on the ground. Apparently, it’s a big problem there, but they must have plenty of city workers hired to clean it all up regularly. I expected to see more garbage than I did.

It would be best to take them out once you see your issues and accept them—name them as garbage.

This is where “Positive littering for the mind” comes in, and you can do it all in your head. It may feel like a stretch for some of you but stick with me here.

Visualize yourself taking that issue or problem and throwing it in the garbage. Ball it up into a big wad of wrinkled papers in your mind and feel those uncomfortable emotions. They won’t feel good but don’t hide from them.

See yourself letting it go into a huge can. You can even use hand motions to throw it into the trash with force. The relief once your garbage hits bottom will be all the sweeter. You faced your trash and threw it out.

You cleaned out your mess.

Does this solve all your emotional problems? No. And I’m no licensed therapist or psychiatrist, but I am a middle school teacher and creative guy who’s been through a lot of crap. This method works for me and helps strengthen my tolerance for facing challenging emotions.

If you don’t have time at the moment to do this, take time to meditate in the morning or before bed, and visualize taking out your mental trash.

Keep moving forward in life with honesty and help

I know severe trauma and painful parts of childhood are not easy to ball up and throw in the trash with your imagination. This method works on milder emotions or immediate feelings best. Making sure to see a therapist and work on talking through your serious issues that may be causing the smaller ones to feel more extreme is essential.

Of course, talk therapy is scary too. Getting to a place where you can face what’s holding you back or causing negative emotions is a step towards healing and getting help for more profound issues.

You don’t want to litter your emotional baggage all over everyone, but you should have a goal to get to a place where you can openly express your feelings and talk to people who can help you heal. If not, moving forward in life will be a significant challenge.

The next trip to London will be a welcome adventure and one I’m more prepared to face now that I’ve visited once before. I know how to get around and better understand how the city is laid out.

Just like facing your emotional baggage, you get more confident with experience. I highly recommend world travel, especially to the U.K., but you don’t have to go overseas to start healing your mind and heart.

You can do that right now, with a bit of self-awareness and quiet time.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or psychiatrist. Please use my advice at your discretion and see a professional if you’re suffering from severe depression.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Don’t Feel Bad About Not Starting Your Side Hustle

Why living through a pandemic is the right reason to slow down.

Photo by Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash

I believe in working a job and having another money-making venture on the side, but it’s not always as easy as people make it seem.

If you’ve survived the Covid pandemic, stop and look at what you’ve accomplished. Do you have a job paying the bills right now? Congratulations! You’re much better off than most people.

Are you physically healthy and in decent shape? Another win.

Even though it’s hard to hear, you’re most likely emotionally and mentally damaged after surviving a worldwide pandemic. Hearing about people dying every day, maybe even family members, and doing what you can to keep the virus at bay and, at the same time, food on the table takes herculean effort.

Adding a side business to all of that takes serious consideration after everything we’ve been through in the world.

What do you want out of life?

The unprecedented times we’ve lived through have now become precedented times. Fortunately, because of vaccines and people being more willing to take them, life improves steadily.

Let’s hope we can gradually move back to some semblance of normalcy in the next few years. As a teacher, writer, and cartoonist, I’m choosing to build up my writing and drawing skills with the awareness it can be easy to crash and burn if I do too much.

You have to decide what you can handle in your specific circumstances right now, which might not include—let’s be honest—more work.

What would you get out of your side hustle?

Your “why” should be about more than money. Even if you’re in bad financial shape and need to make some dough to catch up on bills, you should have meaningful goals attached to it as well.

Freelance writing is an easy example. You can make money writing for clients doing blog posts, case studies, and copywriting. Freelancing has its challenges, but you’re growing and improving as a writer.

I loved freelance writing as my side hustle pre-pandemic while teaching Art full-time. Finding jobs on Upwork was tricky at first, but I figured it out and smiled my way through icky clients. But I also had fun with wonderful ones, learning more about business writing, and growing a more impressive writing portfolio.

One of my goals was to eventually transition from teaching into copywriting for a tech company or full-time freelancing. Accepting that desire helped me keep going when I was tired or didn’t feel like writing after work. Three years of side hustling went by, and recruiters started taking notice of my case studies on Linkedin. I was able to move into a position as a copywriter for a tech company.

I learned a lot from experience over almost two years until the pandemic hit. The company let me go, and I was unemployed for a few months and moved back to teaching. Learning to teach from home was a huge challenge and took a ton out of me.

All of us had to learn to work differently. Doing your job remotely from home is a dream for others and a nightmare for some. I had my daughter at home and had to help with her remote schooling while attempting to keep up with my teaching.

It was hard. I barely made it through, but I get to decide how to proceed, and so do you.

“The action you take today will secure your tomorrow and have its repercussions. The pandemic will frizzle out and get over someday shortly, but the survivors remain. And remember we aim now at ‘safeguarding lives’ and ‘safeguarding livelihood’.”

― Henrietta Newton Martin , Legal Advisor & Author

Can you do it without killing yourself?

I burned out from working too much during a pandemic while balancing parenting. It wasn’t like before when all I had to think about was how early to wake up to write and draw and make sure to rest on the weekends. Pandemic life changed me, and I had to take parts of my busy life off my plate to survive.

Post pandemic, side hustling looks different. Your other jobs or extra business might take a toll you don’t expect and hit you with health problems. Is it worth it?

If your side hustle happens to be something you’re passionate about, like acting or drawing, working for clients forces you to do something in that area you usually wouldn’t. This can be a good thing.

We all have certain parts of what we love we’re afraid to try. A business you’re working for will pull you out of your comfort zone, requiring you to do things you’ve been avoiding. You can learn to face discomfort.

Scary, but necessary if you want to grow. What if you feel like you don't have the capacity and are not ready to take on more? Should you put on Gary Vee podcasts yelling at you to get your hustle on? Maybe, just like most humans, he’s wrong sometimes too.

The only one who can tell you what’s right for you right now is you.

About a year ago, I remembered a popular saying, “Give yourself some grace.” If you’re not ready to stretch yourself yet, let your side hustle goals go for now.

Growing in your chosen passion is essential, and I strongly believe in facing your fears to get better at what you love. But it will tire you out.

If what you’re looking to get out of a side hustle feels like an incredible weight combined with everything else right now, leave it alone. Taking time to recharge your batteries is most important.

When you know why you want to work outside of your job, you can better understand what you can handle. Eventually, you can start—or continue—your work on the side when you know you can go all in.

You don’t have to start now

The idea that there is never a better time than the present isn’t always true. Life can overload you, and trying to push through it all to become a side hustle success story isn’t always worth the effort. Believe it or not, there can and will be better times to start or continue a side hustle in the future.

Taking breaks and giving yourself time to heal physically and emotionally will help you reach success when you’re ready.

Slowing down to speed back up is essential. Running a marathon isn’t all sprinting, and it would help if you had time to coast a bit to burst back to being busy and successful.

Please understand that I believe in pursuing side hustles and have experienced their benefits.

• More money to save and live a better life.

• Learning and improving on valuable skills.

• Opening up doors to new career opportunities.

You should definitely find and go for your side hustle—in time. Please make sure you’re thrilled about it inside and out.

If not, build up excitement by practicing the skills you would use in your side hustle as a hobby. Do it for fun. That’s what it should be, after all, anyway, right? When you can enjoy the process of writing, making, and creating, it gets easier to pursue it for a profit later.

Turning what you enjoy into a small business isn’t a walk in the park. When times are tough or not going the way you’d hoped, being able to do what you do for fun can keep you excited and motivated.

Even though I’ve actively sought out freelance work in the past, I’m enjoying writing on Medium and working on my unique voice at this point in my life. I’ve done some illustrations for a couple of clients this year but haven’t pushed hard for many more. It’s nice not having constant deadlines, and working when I want feels good for as long as I want.

Taking the time I needed to slow down helped me focus more on family and talking to a therapist for my mental health.

I can see myself freelancing consistently soon, but I’m in no rush. At least I’ve proven I can do it in the past, so getting back into side hustling with more gusto feels possible.

If you’re a super go-getter or afraid you won’t start, decide how long you’ll wait to begin side hustling. Give yourself a three months break.

Write down your plans to begin something in a year and mark it on your calendar. However long you think you’ll need to get back on track, have a goal of when you’ll start so you can look forward to it and mentally prepare.

The world and you have been through hell. Give yourself time and grace to build yourself up, and then hop on working your side hustle when you’re prepared.

Better times are ahead. Slow down and rest to work your side hustle at your best. You owe it to yourself, and your customers and clients will notice the difference.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

3 Reasons I’m Enjoying Drawing Again

How color and variety can pull you back into your sketchbook.

All illustrations by the author.

Do you have fun practicing the art you love consistently?

Scheduling time daily to sit down and write, draw, or even paint helps you turn it into a regular habit. Doing what you love whenever you feel like it doesn’t.

Even though I know to make it into a routine first, so my mind and body expect to create every day, I don’t always follow that advice. I’m fully aware if your goal is to improve at playing the piano, you know regular blocks of time tickling the ivory is how to grow as a musician.

If you’re trying to draw more, let this article be the reminder you need to get back on the horse.

How can you get excited about getting started, though? If you’re an artist, growing your drawing skills takes work. You know, focusing on the fundamentals, like figure drawing, anatomy, and portraiture, is essential, but maybe not all that fun.

I hear you. As a cartoonist myself, drawing funny faces and cute characters was what I was all about.

Who has time for drawing a bunch of realistic faces?

I had to accept; I most certainly should make time for it if I wanted my art to grow. The dream of filling up sketchbooks with beautiful examples of my artistic explorations has always been a dream, one I never thought I’d reach.

Taking an online class for portrait drawing via Domestika helped jolt me into committing to growing through sketchbook drawing, and I’d like to share some of what I learned with you.

1. Hardback sketchbooks help you feel like an artist

You can choose all kinds of sketchbooks—large-sized ones, small enough to fit in your pocket. The ring-bound ones drive me nuts because rings on the side get in the way of my hand while drawing. Even turning the book to the side doesn’t feel right.

Everything got better when I discovered hardback, book-like sketchbooks. You can open them and lay them flat to draw across two pages or focus on one. I always feel more like a true artist when I pick it up because it looks like an actual book.

Staying on top of contributing drawings to your sketchbook is easier if you set a straightforward goal. Commit to filling every page.

Only show others what you choose or want to share, just because you feel it worked. You don’t have to take photos of your drawings or even show your work to anyone. Try and fail privately, then move to the next page.

Hardback sketchbooks are easier to collect and put on a bookshelf when you’ve completed them. They look handsome. Write a title on the spine with the year and date for your collection if you want. You can look back to see how you’ve grown over the years.

I like how you feel accomplished with a hard sketchbook instead of a soft or ringed one. You get the feeling you’re making something that will last. It’s sturdy and heavy. Like your dedication to art, it’s not easily bent or manipulated.

2. Variety spices up your pages and sparks joy

Picking a few areas to focus on improving, like facial expressions or body poses, can help you know how to begin. Saying you will fill one page up with different people you find from photos on Pinterest will help keep you motivated.

The next page in your book may revolve around drawing ten different hands or making a point to get away from humans and go outside to draw a landscape or urban setting.

It can be fun to get back to basics, then throw it all together. Maybe you decide to combine a mix of everything you’re studying on one page to see how you can compose it all within a small space.

Look honestly at your art. One thing I had to accept is drawing portraits from photos, especially of women, is difficult for me. I need to improve and overcome my fear of drawing attractive women, especially. I can make cute cartoony women just fine, but not beautiful realistic-looking women. Could I do it by using photo references?

Challenge accepted!

Having a hill to get over or a goal to strive for in your sketchbook will help motivate you just enough to start drawing and want to draw more. The joy of seeing what you’ve completed on each page will keep you excited about moving forward.

3. Adding color brings your pages to life

Why only use pencils and the occasional black pen? Drawing with colored pencils gives life to the page and catches the eye. Painting in the sketchbook with mini watercolors also helps add energy and interest.

You can use a gray brush pen for shadows and Gelly Roll pens for white highlights where needed. When I thumb through my sketchbook, I smile at the color variety and pay more attention to what I created.

Asking questions like, “Did this drawing work well?” “What can I do to draw a nose better?” The color is hard to miss, and my growth areas stand out more.

The softness of colored pencils feels nice while drawing, and it surprised me. I like to use a non-photo blue pencil first when sketching heads to rough out the head shape and eye lines, then add in features starting with the eyes and nose.

Suppose you want the easiest way to begin drawing a face. Starting with the left eye, then the nose, and over to the right eye works well. Down to the mouth or up to the eyebrows next is a good order. Try this out and find what direction works best for you.

The smoothness of colored pencil lines makes for a buttery drawing experience. Of course, the rich color will create a pleasant feeling on the page you’ll enjoy taking in as you look back on your growth.

Draw when you can, where you can

In conclusion, I want you to know I understand it can be challenging to find time to draw. Let go of needing hours to work on the pages in your sketchbook. Even fifteen minutes at a time will do fine.

Opening up your sketchbook first thing in the morning, looking at a reference photo online, and drawing one portrait, will send a feeling of satisfaction that will last all day.

You drew something. Even one thing is better than nothing.

When you have a day with more time, by all means, draw more. Don’t get hung up on how long. Focus on your accomplishment. You added to your sketchbook, and you’re one step closer to filling it up.

Your art skills are improving.

Take a small sketchbook with you in your bag or back pocket. Sketch on the train, at the park, or in a cafe, even if it’s only for five minutes. You did it.

When you set the intention to draw regularly, use a sketchbook that feels comfortable, and add color and variety, watch how your drawings explode off the page.

Then, make sure to come back and let me know how it’s going.

Happy drawing!

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

3 Reasons You're Unsatisfied With Adulthood

And how to change your mindset to get more out of life.

Wincing at life. Illustrated by the author.

I bet you thought becoming an adult would be so much fun. You would have complete control of your life, no parents telling you what to do.

Thinking the same almost ruined me when I got out in my twenties. "Wait. You mean I have to make all the decisions now and stop blaming everything on my parents?"

Yup. It gets real, real fast.

“As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.”
― David Sedaris, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

I get what makes it feel sucky at times as a creative professional, husband, and father through more than twenty-five years of adult life after college under my belt.

I learned it’s about more than just screaming "Life sucks!" every time events don't go your way. Paying attention to these three reasons below can help you stay confident while slaying adulting.

1. Life is complicated no matter where you are on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Life is tough no matter what. How much you have or gain doesn't exclude you from the difficulties life throws at you constantly. I know you want more out of it, and for a good reason, but you forget, or perhaps aren't appreciating, everyone isn't in the same place as you.

Even if they were, it wouldn't matter anyway. Hard to hear, perhaps, but taking an honest look at where we are right now can help give you perspective.

Understanding where you are on the hierarchy of needs pyramid can help you know where you're going and give you faith things can improve.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs poster courtesy of playvolutionhq.com.

Let's say you reached the top. Self-actualization is all yours now. All your financial needs are taken care of; you have time to create, have meaningful relationships, and control your daily schedule. Does this mean nothing negative will ever happen to you?

When life is going insanely well, we tend to despise setbacks when they happen, almost as if we've earned the right not to have to deal with them. It's almost as if only the good things should be in our lives because we have it so good.

Consequently, if we're towards the bottom of the pyramid and our basic needs aren't being met, we want to climb up and believe getting more will solve all our problems. Life will be easier when you're at the top but not devoid of tough times.

You'll be in a more balanced place to deal with the poop as it flies at you, but no amount of security, money, or love can stop the truth of life.

Bad things happen to good people. So, accept it, take full responsibility when it all goes sideways and take care of what's necessary to get your life back on track.

The excellent news, hard times can and will get better, even if it doesn't feel that way today.

2. You think successful people are 100% happy

Striving to become a better person is good, and only working your a$$ off to buy a bigger house is not.

Scrolling social media makes you jealous of others and their perceived joyful and prosperous life, and it's never as great as it looks. Still, you want to do more, have more, and be more because you see it's possible.

The people you admire as successful do not have a perfect life, and an ideal life doesn't exist. With all the money and power, the CEO you gawk at could be having marital problems at home or health issues they're hiding from the public.

We're all battling something.

Admiring the success of others is inspiring and can fill you with joy. Put keep your mind in the reality zone. Adulthood should be about striving for the personal success important to you while understanding life can never be perfect.

Are you able to think through everything you have at this moment, good and bad, and still smile? What gives you pleasure, even though the pain?

Everything you work hard for should feel worth the stress and strain. When times are hard for me, I love drawing as an outlet. Opening up a sketchbook and trying my hand at a portrait or a funny animated character helps me smile again.

When you take stock in your achievements and where you still want to go, appreciating what you've already accomplished goes a long way. Gratitude is the key to joy, even if it's only because you understand how important life's basics are.

If you're healthy and able to go for what gets your excitement rising each morning, you have a lot to be thankful for—let that empower you.

“You’ll never see a happy ungrateful person.”

Zig Ziglar

3. You compare yourself to the wrong people.

We're all sold the idea, in America at least, that making it equals big paychecks, lots of sex, and a mansion the size of an art museum. You're not genuinely making it if you're missing these symbols of success.

Not valid for everyone, and it doesn't have to be what you desire either.

Why are you doing all of this? Is it a part of your life purpose, or because you saw someone else doing it and decided it would be cool?

Make specific, thoughtful choices. I decided a long time ago going after vast sums of money wasn't going to be my goal. Life taught me money makes things easier.

I had to understand it's OK to want to make a good salary to take care of basic needs and save for retirement; it took years to accept I enjoy travel and need enough for at least one adventure a year.

Maybe that's not necessary for everyone, but travel matters to me. Seeing the world helps me feel wealthy, and I love learning about other cultures and cities.

What do you need to benefit you, your family, and your overall mental health right now? Write down a list of your needs and wants. Getting serious about what matters to you as an individual, not what you think you "should" desire is a good goal.

Are you in a place mentally to work towards being a self-actualized human being? If you don't know where to go, you can't stay on the right road.

Once you have a list of what you truly want, you can find people who have done what you strive for and learn from their experiences. Read about them, or better yet, talk to them in person if you can.

You will reach your goals if you compare yourself to the right people. The people doing precisely what you aspire to do in your life.

“Don’t you find it odd,” she continued, “that when you’re a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if you even try.”
― Ethan Hawke, The Hottest State

Figure out a way to pursue your dreams

You have roadblocks to your goals. But if you get creative and find a way to go after your dreams, your life will feel loads more fulfilling and enjoyable.

No one said a good life would be easy.

Even doing what you love part-time, or dare I say, as a hobby, can create balance and instant smiles each morning you wake.

Take full responsibility for your life and do what it takes to do what you love. Yes, it may be more challenging if you're a person of color, or suffering an illness, but there are always ways to make things work.

• Take time to plan how to save enough money to give you the freedom to do more of your passions.

• Ask for help from people who can assist you on your journey or give you advice. Or, even better—mentoring.

• Work a job that doesn't take all of your brainpower, and do your passion during your off hours until you can do it full-time.

• Spend more time in groups with people who enjoy what you love. Life is less crappy when you spend it with others.

Permit yourself to love life by structuring it in a way that benefits your interests.

Keep your head in the right place. Not wanting too much all the time and giving thanks for what you have can change your outlook.

“I’ve been very blessed in my personal life and in my career and I have never been ungrateful for what I have.”

Mandy Patinkin

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Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Add More Procrastination to Your Writing Process

How going with the flow can sometimes make things easier.

The author in the middle of the writing process.

Writers know what they want to say and write down their thoughts quickly. Right?

Wrong!

Tonight, I sat down to write a new article with a loose outline and no idea of an exciting story to use as my lead-in.

I procrastinated and read a bunch of articles on Medium, checked social media, and then fell asleep in my recliner.

You read that right. I fell asleep.

Napping with the laptop right on my lap.

Twenty minutes later, I woke up, wiped the drool off my mouth, and read through my outline draft.

An idea finally came to me, so I went with it, researched, and continued writing for another hour.

Not very disciplined, but it was good enough to get the job done this time.

Productivity and being a “good writer” can look different for everyone.

The process isn’t always smooth and can look messy and even lazy. If it works, though, it works.

Relax and do it your way.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Movies Are Too Damn Long

Why not simplify and tell better stories, Hollywood?

Photo by tommao wang on Unsplash

Going to the movies feels like work now.

You have to sit through twenty minutes of previews; then, you already feel like it’s time to use the restroom when the movie actually starts.

Are you with me in wishing Hollywood would get better at telling more succinct stories? Let’s keep them at under two hours, please.

Whatever happened to an hour and a half? The amount of time to pull you in, present the characters and problem, take you through the climax and finish with a nice tying up of loose ends. Ah! That used to feel good.

Not anymore. Hollywood wants us to go back into movie theaters but gives us films longer than our commutes to work and back. Who wants to spend three hours in a big room with other germy humans, talking and checking their phones, when you could be at home?

Not only your comfort zone, but home is where you have all the power to pause, rewind, or shut off the movie you’re streaming whenever needed.

You’re not trapped in a box with a bunch of strangers.

Movies don’t have to be so long

You know it’s possible to cut out the majority of that three-hour movie you just watched, but the directors didn’t. In fact, they probably cut hours of footage to keep it under four.

I love how much we can do with special effects and how Hollywood is better at making quality movies now than thirty years ago, but I believe people are tired. Yes, from the pandemic and world affairs, but emotionally exhausted as well. Can we have a short escape that doesn’t vacuum our free time?

That’s probably why more people are watching YouTube videos. Give me a fifteen-minute piece of entertainment, where I can choose whether or not to watch another afterward, is golden. Having the power to decide how to use your entertainment time is compelling.

Believe it or not, I love going to the movies. Watching on the big screen and only having one thing to focus on for a couple of hours is magical. I can follow the story more leisurely and appreciate the hard work and creativity the cast and crew put into it.

If you’re making a marathon-length film, you have to expect some people to miss parts of the story. Either you’re leaving to use the restroom or zoning out while watching, thinking about when to get up and go to the bathroom.

Am I obsessed with having the freedom to relieve myself during a movie? Yes. There should be no shame in using the bathroom, but extremely long movies make you scared you’re going to miss something important. If you stay seated and push through, you’re uncomfortable and not enjoying it the way you should.

Bring back the intermission

Let’s treat going to the movies like watching a play. Please give us an intermission. You know you need a break between all the action and plot points to use the restroom and stretch your legs.

We take way too long for the entire story arc to play out nowadays, and viewers are left twiddling their thumbs while thinking about when to get up to go pee.

You have to sit longer than ever now because most Marvel movies, for example, have post-credit scenes. You have 20–30 minutes of sitting to watch a 30-second teaser that connects to the next film.

I love that this gives people a chance to read the credits and understand how many people it takes to make that special effects blockbuster you just watched, but it’s a considerable time investment we shouldn’t feel sad about missing.

If you know there’ll be an intermission, deciding to go to a movie theater will be more manageable and less stressful.

Give us our time back

We have enough devices and screens vying for our time and attention these days. While watching a movie in the theaters, you may stay focused on one thing, but so much of your day is sucked away by how long they are. For some people, I can see why they would opt out.

With our busy lives, it’s tough to devote half your day to go to the movies. There’s so much you’re missing or could be doing.

When you shorten movies and give more bang in less time, people feel like their time was well spent. I didn’t even bring up the giant elephant in the room—what if the movie sucks?

You’re spending hours of your life watching something terrible. Walking out of the theater in shock at how poorly you spent your time and how badly Hollywood just wasted it.

I’m looking for better, shorter, and more creative ways to tell stories, so we don’t have to devote our entire lives to our favorite movies or franchises. One upside to a shorter film is wanting more when the credits roll.

Remember that feeling?

We sure don’t have much of that anymore. When a movie is done playing through nowadays, we breathe a sigh of relief. “Phew! We made it through!”

The only exception is animated movies. Am I the only one going into one with less weight on my shoulders, knowing it will be a fun experience and over relatively quickly?

I’m sure animation studios would make three-hour movies if it didn’t take a bajillion years to make one. Sometimes the constraints of the creative arts can be a good thing.

Movies are too damn long, and making them last longer does not equal higher quality. From now on, I’m giving more props to the ones that can put it all together beautifully in under two hours.

Let’s see if Hollywood is up to the challenge.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Finding Your Purpose is Simpler Than You Think

Here’s one undeniable way to discover yours.

Photo by Jaunt and Joy on Unsplash

You’re looking to find purpose—a reason to get up in the morning or a career to fulfill your heart and soul. I know the feeling.

You try this and try that for a little while, only to be disappointed you don’t fall in love right away. “When will my calling hit me in the face and change my life for the better?” you wonder.

Come on; you can’t be serious. No Fairy Godmother of Purpose will ever appear and grant you a life of passion and meaning. Even if someone offers you a fantastic opportunity, you have to recognize it first.

A purpose can sometimes come from natural abilities or a need you feel you must fulfill from early in your life, but it’s rare. You won’t like reading this—but a purpose takes hard work and patience.

It’s not a magical gift from the gods.

Coming from writing and creating comics regularly for many years, I now know my purpose is to educate and entertain through stories and art. I didn’t hike up a mountain to the top and receive a divine message.

I discovered my purpose by doing the work.

But don’t worry, it’s not as hard as you might think. You have to make concrete decisions and stick to them. Here’s how…

Commit to something

Discovering your purpose first takes you to committing to learning and growing in a particular area or career. It’s astonishing how connected we can become to an area we choose to give ourselves to heart and soul.

What are you interested in learning and becoming the best at over many years? If you pick something that excites you and scares you a little, you’re on the right track.

Make a point to practice the skill regularly to improve, and you’ll see how it fills you with purpose, with a drive to do better and share it with the world. When you commit—essentially, take responsibility for something—it gives your life meaning.

Pretty simple, right?

I’ve loved writing for most of my life, but committing to posting articles here on Medium regularly and becoming a better writer helped cultivate my feeling of purpose. Helping inspire others to succeed now feels like my purpose through the written word.

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”

Vince Lombardi

Embrace responsibility

People run away from responsibility like it’s an evil villain chasing them in a horror movie, preferring to escape into simple, non-threatening pleasure-seeking getaways as much as possible.

If you want a purpose-driven life, you have to embrace the responsibility that goes along with that life. You can’t have one thing without the other. Accepting that there’s a price to pay for everything is a part of doing something worthwhile.

If you want to be a better writer, you’ll need to watch less TV and spend more hours on the keyboard. The more you work at it, the better you’re writing will become, then you begin to desire watching TV less as your desire to write grows. You feel like it’s your purpose.

When you, let’s say, become a parent, volunteer somewhere, commit to a relationship, take on a mortgage to buy a home or any one of a thousand other “responsibilities,” they permeate your life with purpose and meaning.

That’s the upside of responsibility no one tells you.

“Without commitment you cannot have depth in anything.”

Neil Strauss

Attract your purpose through action

It’s all on you now. Commit to growing and improving in several parts of your life that interest you.

Even if you don’t think it could be your purpose right now, you’d be amazed by how things look different once you dedicate yourself to them and become the best over time.

When I started teaching art in an elementary school, I thought I would hate it because I wasn’t making all of my money being an illustrator. There were a lot of new responsibilities to take on, like taking care of children and classroom management, and I had to learn to plan lessons and make a curriculum.

Over that first year of teaching, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed being an educator. I made time to draw comics in my off-hours, and I felt like my teaching job was making a difference to young people.

The position grew on me as I took on the commitment and handled the responsibility. You won’t always know what will be the right fit.

When you commit and work hard, your purpose finds you.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

Three Scientific Reasons to Smile More Every Day

What does a smile really mean in the grand scheme of things?

Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

Imagine you’re walking by a person on the street. They look you in the eyes and give you a big smile. I bet you feel better already. The energy of that smile travels over and makes you smile back. 

It’s infectious, and I bet it’s what you need right now.

But, why?

Yes, life is challenging all over the world in these uncertain times. Everyone is battling something and could use a little pick-me-up in the energy department, but there’s more to it than that. 

You need to know that a smile is possible right now. It’s a sign of hope. 

When you see someone else filled with joy, you know it’s possible for you too. Even if you don’t have anything on your mind to smile about, the act is simple. 

Smiling is something you can do for yourself anytime, even if you’re not feeling happy at the moment, and it leads you down the road to more positive energy. Even if your life is full of things you can’t do, you know you can, as the saying goes, turn that frown upside down. 

Smiling takes effort, though. Why should you bother? Isn’t it better to walk around with a mean mug, so others know you’re about business? 

Here are three reasons you should make a point to smile more each day.

A smile lifts you when you’re feeling down

When you’ve been upset about something, how often do you think about cracking a smile? Not much, I’m pretty sure, but making a point to smile can help quickly pull you out of your funk.

Scientific studies suggest a smile can trick your brain into thinking you’re happy. Your body will produce endorphins, a natural painkiller, to alleviate your sadness.

Researchers at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, and Texas A&M, wrote a paper looking at 50 years of data testing whether facial expressions can lead people to feel emotions connected to those expressions.

Nicholas Coles, a UT Ph.D. student in social psychology and lead researcher on the paper, found these results:

Using a statistical technique called meta-analysis, Coles and his team combined data from 138 studies testing more than 11,000 participants from all around the world. According to the results of the meta-analysis, facial expressions have a small impact on feelings. For example, smiling makes people feel happier, scowling makes them feel angrier, and frowning makes them feel sadder.

Making a point to smile more, especially in difficult times, could be just what you need.

A smile helps ease your anxiety 

Feeling anxious is pretty much standard these days. There’s so much to worry about. It’s no wonder people are doing all they can to escape their emotions, like drinking liquor and taking anti-anxiety drugs. Why not try a simple smile?

Smiling helps to relieve stress and calm anxiety.  

It might sound silly, but if you treat smiling like exercise for your mouth muscles, I bet you’d remember to do it more. It feels like it takes more effort than a frown when I smile for no reason, and my mouth needs me to keep it turned up, or it falls back into that flat neutral zone.

The more you smile, the stronger and easier it gets to do the action, and the better you’ll feel. Associating what makes you anxious as a negative is most likely part of the cause of your fears. If we smile while thinking about what’s giving us anxiety, it can become more of a favorable opportunity in our minds.

It is similar to an area of growth or chance to prove you have what it takes to succeed in life or your day-to-day work. 

A smile can help you live a longer life

The secret to a long life has a smile a day included in its ingredients. Yes, there are plenty of angry older people, but for the most part, growing old takes looking at life with the proper perspective. You have to see the positive and smile in response to help your attitude remain light and keep a youthful mind.

There’s something about using your facial muscles to smile that turns up the number of years you live. 

A research project at Wayne State University was done in 2010, tracking the longevity of baseball players who smiled in their baseball cards. This study found that the span of a player’s smile could predict their life span. 

Players who didn’t smile in their pictures lived an average of only 72.9 years, while players with beaming smiles lived an average of 79.9 years. Not a huge difference, I know, but my guess is the smiling players had a better quality of life and isn’t that what really matters?

How you feel about yourself and the life you’re creating is an essential part of waking up and facing your days. 

Keep smiling to uplift your life

Make a decision right now to remember to smile. I’m not talking about just every time you see someone, more about when you’re alone, even when you’re on your laptop getting work done. Remember to smile. Are you driving to work?

Smile.

You know it feels magnificent, but how come you don’t make a point to smile more throughout the day? Yeah, maybe smiling when you’re alone looks ridiculous, but who cares. A smile is a reward for all the stress and strife you’re facing in uncertain times. Give yourself that gift and get over how it may look to others. 

Remind yourself to smile, almost like you remember to stretch or workout. You’ll feel better, and when you pass someone else and help them lighten up, they’ll probably end up smiling too. 

Spreading joy has never been more effortless.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

Why You Need to Build Calluses on Your Brain to Succeed in Life

How one quote by David Goggins could help you embrace suffering

Photo courtesy of intellectualsinsider.com.

One of the most brutal truths to accept: suffering is something everyone experiences in life, and you are not immune. But you can get stronger.

Feeling disappointment when bad things happen is usual, and it can almost feel like, however, you're a victim of bad karma. Like all of this shouldn't be happening to you.

Let's get real here, going through hard times, heartbreak, and unforeseen challenges will occur regularly and most likely break your spirit. Staying strong through it all takes strength and confidence, but most of all, determination.

How can you not let the crap of life drag you down the drain with it?

Look at suffering as an edge

Whenever I hear David Goggins speak or read his stern but encouraging words, it puts everything in the proper perspective. Tough to take in at times, but core strengthening.

David Goggins is an ultramarathon runner, ultra-distance cyclist, triathlete, motivational speaker, and author if you don't know him. He's a retired United States Navy SEAL and former United States Air Force Tactical Air Control Party member who served in Afghanistan and the Iraq War.

Goggins is a former world record holder for the most pull-ups done in 24 hours (4,030 to be exact). Crazy, right?! His self-help memoir, Can't Hurt Me, was released in 2018 and is chock full of inspirational quotes to help you take action and live the life of a warrior.

Becoming just like him is not the goal—there's no way I could even come close—but becoming stronger to face whatever life throws at you is definitely where you should want to grow.

Here's his way to think about this:

“You have to build calluses on your brain just like how you build calluses on your hands. Callus your mind through pain and suffering.” David Goggins

When you're familiar with suffering and confident you can move forward, you have an edge in life even while in pain.

Hardening your resolve when challenges face you, and they will, gives you the confidence to say, "I've been through worse; I can take this." You aren't as phased by pain and setbacks the way others are.

If you go through hell, you don't expect to live in heaven at all times.

Seek challenges to learn how to face hard times

In what I've read from David Goggins, he believes you have to suffer from growing, and there's no way around it. This idea resonated with me, but I wouldn't say I liked the feeling it gave at first.

You know intellectually you will not succeed at everything, but you hope never to experience disappointment or failure. It doesn't add up. I had to accept that the good of life comes with the bad—even though I wanted to feel like it should be easy and fun.

Goggins says you should train yourself to get stronger by seeking out challenging goals and pushing hard towards achieving them. You'll go through pain, but come out with those calluses to keep you moving forward.

They say life is a marathon and not a sprint, and well, I think it's more of an Iron Man Triathlon. It would be best to excel in many different areas, from managing your emotions to developing and growing employable skills while keeping a positive outlook on life.

It's not simple, but you can succeed at just about anything when you understand you have the power already inside you.

Start running into your fear zone today

You will become great if you can get through doing all the crap you hate to do. This idea is one Goggins believes, and I've seen work in my life.

Living through health problems and job losses was difficult, but I have to admit that facing rejection regularly is one of the toughest.

As a creative person, rejection is something you must become acquainted with, almost like it's a family member you tolerate. Submitting articles to publications and hearing it's not fit for them, or putting a piece of art out there no one responds to, or even worse gives negative comments about, is a nightmare.

You can't make the possibility of rejection stop you from sharing your work or who you truly are. I like to call my feeling of uncertainty a "Fear Zone." When I notice my reluctance to submit or put something out in the world I worked hard on, I tell myself to run, not walk, into that fear zone.

When something doesn't go how you planned, or someone tells you no, it feels crappy. Sure, you can feel upset and even get mad and depressed, but you must rise again at some point.

When you've built up the mental muscles to handle your disappointments, do the uncomfortable work, and still walk through fear, you may fail many times, but at some point, you will succeed.

Take a tip from David Goggins and start building those mental calluses today.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

Why Japanese Couples Never Say “I Love You”

How genuine will it sound if you say it all the time?

Photo by DLKR on Unsplash

In America, you dream of dating that perfect someone with hopes of hearing them say, “I love you.” Not only once but every day after. Gazing into your eyes and speaking those three magical words confirms the connection you both have for each other and also puts you at ease.

You know they want to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. All because of saying one little phrase.

It’s not the same in every country. I learned from living in Japan for two years, dating my wife, and now visiting with her for the past twenty—actions speak louder than words.

Saying “I love you” every day if you’re Japanese dilutes the feeling behind the words. I was surprised to learn couples there feel like you should show and not tell.

Or, you could look like a liar—someone who’s hiding something.

Why say the words when your deeds and actions make it very clear how you feel? Even in a Japanese family, you don’t have to show affection and use words to let loved ones know they mean a lot to you. Hugging and kissing all over your spouse? Nope. Telling your children, you love them? No way.

The fact that your delicious dinner was prepared with care and noticing the perfect way your clothes were folded neatly says it all. Picking up something your wife dropped right away and holding the door for her as you walk into a store are impressive gestures of love.

Even the tone of your voice to your partner speaks volumes. Small things, for sure, but vital to making your feeling for the other person clear.

I’m an affectionate person, and of course, growing up in America, I learned not only to show but to most definitely tell how I feel to express love. Learning to understand what my wife expected and needed in our relationship took time and a bit of trial and error.

Only one love language in Japan?

The idea of having different “Love Languages” popularized by author Gary Chapman in his book series, ‘The Five Love Languages’ has become well-known in the states. Some of us feel more loved when our partner tells us or gives us compliments, and others enjoy physical touch or having someone give them gifts or help them around the house.

To be clear, all of these are fantastic ways to show love, and you should add them to your relationship. Normally, though, one of them makes your partner feel loved deeply. So much so, if you don’t give love in the language they need, they could feel like you’re not meeting their needs and become unhappy or leave.

In Japan, I’m not sure it works the same. Showing your love is all about actions, and what you do and how you show your love to your partner is what matters—part of showing that love means avoiding conflict as much as possible.

Love means keeping the home a peaceful place while keeping your strong opinions quiet for the good of the family and your marriage.

Perhaps ‘The Five Love Languages’ book is translated into Japanese, but I bet the meanings are different. Can you even have a chapter on verbal compliments as a love language? Maybe it becomes the opposite — your partner loves you more, the less they actually say it.

Or, the book is just one long chapter: The Language of Action

When we were dating, I would meet my wife at a train station in Osaka to walk around together and find a place to eat. If I arrived there early, even if she weren’t late, she would be running over to me, looking rushed. Showing me how important it was for her to get there and be with me.

At first, I didn’t understand the importance of this and told her she didn’t have to run over to meet me. Especially if she’s not late, but she didn’t stop doing it. After several dates, I realized how much she cared and wanted to show me how eager she was to meet for our date. It was a sweet gesture.

My love language is more about getting affection, but over time, I grew to appreciate the power of someone I love doing and showing how much they care by treating me each day.

There’s more to love than just saying it

Anyone can say they love you, but can they show it with how they treat you day in and day out for many, many years? I have experience, but I know I’m no expert, but it seems in Japan, you get more respect if you prove love lasts without only saying words.

Life in Japan is tough. People work long hours, commute far to work, and there are pages of cultural rules you must follow to fit in and be considered a good citizen. When you can make life a little easier for your partner by reducing their stress at home or showing them someone cares about their happiness, that’s huge.

I don’t believe, though, this means every Japanese wife is quiet and docile, bowing and obeying their husbands every want and need. Every husband is silent and ignores his family. Maybe some are, but most couples learn how to express their opinions and be honest with each other in a non-threatening way to keep a loving relationship alive.

There are times when so much can be said and understood with just a look or a subtle change in tone of voice.

The ones that don’t figure it out, who yell at each other back and forth, aren’t going to last long. It’s like that in America too, you say? Yes, but in the states, it’s easier to accept the passionate release of honesty as a way of learning more about your partner down the line. It’s a part of our culture of freedom of expression.

Making it a point to not only show love but garner respect over time is paramount. Going through all the inevitable tough times, life throws at you will prove much easier when you have someone who respects you as a person by your side.

My wife and I have learned how to have a nice balance between quiet yet open honesty and showing love through actions. I bet we’re not as loud as other couples when we’re angry with each other, a lot of using the silent treatment, but we know how important we are to one another and work things out.

In terms of long-term relationships, especially in Japan, respect is even more important than a passionate love affair.

In conclusion

You can add some Japanese forms of showing love by doing more little things for your partner. Helping them put on their coat, helping them set the table for dinner, holding your opinion when they’re complaining about work.

If you’re dating someone Japanese, be open to figuring out what works for you both. Discovering how many American and Japanese style relationship pieces to add takes time and is up to you.

Holding hands with your spouse is an accepted way to show love in public in Japan physically. I remember the big deal it was to walk with my wife holding hands in the street. Even bigger because I’m a tall African American, there was no hiding in public.

We hold hands together today when in Japan while walking together and, even though it’s a small gesture, it still feels special.

My wife and I say “I love you” to each other each day, but that’s because I shared what it means to me early on in our relationship. I’m sure because I’m not Japanese makes it easier for her to accept and enjoy hearing it from her husband.

You might not fully understand how another culture handles relationships, but it doesn’t mean they’re doing it wrong. It’s just different.

Opening up to new ways of expressing love can help you and your relationships grow.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

A Keanu Reeves Quote to Remember When Life Rips You to Shreds

Hint: It’s not about becoming a supervillain.

Image courtesy of screenrant.com.

Experiencing ups and downs in your career and relationships can bring you to the point where you wonder if you should even keep trying.

Life's decisions and challenges can be like an action movie of the mind. You're dodging bullet-like events, staying strong through heartbreak and loss, while walking with your head up to keep from falling to the ground from the vertigo of events spinning around in your head.

Do you have to go through the trauma of losing your wife and exacting revenge like John Wick through a shoot-em-up flurry of gun craziness to feel like your issues have merit?

Nope.

The difficulties you face are more powerful than you're giving them credit for each day.

I've lost a sister far too young, a good friend shot and killed by the police, and took chances on jobs and creative pursuits that didn't work out and left me feeling hurt and utterly defeated.

Loss is something I'm very familiar with, but I still find a way to smile.

Friends and family think I'm always a positive, happy guy who can get through anything. I could never understand why. This quote gave me some insight and might help you too.

“If you have been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle to other living beings, then you’re a badass with a heart of an angel.”

-Keanu Reeves

The pandemic and world events have been rocking you back and forth like a ship in a storm. No one is immune to tough times right now. Please know staying a good person through it all is a testament to your strength and character.

Don't let it break you. Or, even worse, make you hate your life.

Turning to alcohol and drugs is a common way to cope. Not ideal for many reasons and a weak way to handle things, but it can make you think you're doing something to get through.

Remembering you're not a lonely action hero is better.

Find a support system of good friends or groups you can visit to talk through your pain and face it head-on. Feel your anger, shame, disappointment, and sadness so you can release it from your being.

As humans, we need a community to feel cared for and help us stay strong together. There's nothing weak about getting help.

When my youngest sister died at twenty-five years old, I was devastated. Fortunately, a friend suggested a men's support group, and I made the time to attend each week, which was transformational.

I learned about the stages of grief and accepted that some days would hurt like hell, while others would feel better, but over time, I would handle the loss with more ease.

My sister's memory is always there; missing her never goes away, but I keep her in my heart.

Joining the support group was something that would have sounded silly to me if a friend hadn't have cared enough to recommend it to me. It kept me from dealing with it all by taking drugs or other self-destructive activities.

A community can stand by your side and help lift you instead of just giving up.

If current world events aren't transforming you into a supervillain, you're pretty darn impressive. Give yourself some credit.

The truth is, as you age, everything gets more complicated. You get more responsibilities, your body breaks down, slows down, and gets tired easier.

You can toughen up, and I've seen so many seemingly weak people do it and grow the thick skin and loving heart needed to take the punches and still care for others as long as you decide in your head to overcome it all.

Owning your badassness can work wonders for your confidence. You can harden yourself on the outside while staying gentle and flexible inside.

When the guns of life are all pointing your way, know you have what it takes to keep being who you are and give the world your unique gifts.

I hope this pep talk helped upgrade your perspective.

Even heroes need a boost now and then. It's time to get out there and make Keanu proud.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

3 Mindset Shifts to Help You Hate Yourself

And motivate you to do better.

Illustrated by the author.

Being a success is overrated.

Why worry about making yourself better when the world is slowly spiraling down the toilet bowl?

Let's get real here, people.

Thinking positively does little to help your attitude anyway, and you just end up feeling like a fake. Facing reality and putting yourself down can work wonders. Take it from me, a generally positive person, at least that's what all my friends call me—I'm ready for a change.

These last few years, I survived a pandemic, watching good people die in droves even after being careful not to spend time in crowds but still end up catching covid. Wearing masks and washing hands only to still, that's right, see more people catch covid. Other self-proclaimed good folks believe they don't even need a vaccine, and it's all a hoax. They seem fine with themselves.

Meanwhile, I lose my job and have to learn to survive and find a new one while everyone else is fleeing theirs. Should I try to be happy? Make it all the better by telling myself positive mantras?

If someone can decide what life means to them and choose how to live it the way they want, even if it's ridiculous, I've opted that thinking positively is getting thrown out the window.

Here's a mindset shift that defies what self-help gurus preach, so we can start demotivating ourselves and get honest about our situations. It's time you gain power from negative self-criticism.

1. Recognize your negative cycle and give it a hug

Criticizing yourself and your appearance after waking up in the morning, looking at your sad reflection staring back, is the new motivation for success. Dominate your mind with negative talk about how you need to lose weight and exercise more.

I bet your hair looks awful. Isn't it time for a new hairdo?

Yeah, your job sucks. Who cares. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. I thought so.

Doesn't this feel good?

Destructive self-talk sculpts an image of yourself that's hard to break unless you recognize you're doing it in the first place. Embrace this downer version of you and let the Eeyore-like side shine.

What? Is all this negativity silly to you? After smelling all your garbage, you should want to clean it up.

2. See your negative self-image as a flame, and fan it

The more you fan a flame, the more it burns. It's time to grow yours into a roaring fire with negative self-talk. How bad can you make yourself feel?

Dare yourself to try. How many crappy details about your life and failures can you drum up? Life ain't always great, so stop pretending.

Give it all you got, and feel that fire rage inside. The worse you feel, the better.

You might get so enraged that you get completely sick and tired of being sick and tired. So what?

Why don't you do something about it? Oh, you're too lazy, huh?

If only you cared enough to think of times where you made the right choices and succeeded. Accept that some things in life work out, and others don't.

Feeling bad about yourself can help make you feel good.

3. Be unkind to yourself to motivate change

The other day I cursed at myself for making a wrong turn and having to re-route the directions to an appointment—one I was already late for anyway. I could have been kind and talked to my brain about how everything will be fine and work out well in the end.

But it didn't. Me being late made everything worse and upset people I care about. Maybe next time I have a meaningful engagement, I should leave super early because I suck at finding new places.

Making sure to step outside yourself and see the bad can help you know what to improve. You shouldn't hide behind positivity if you want to make real change.

You have to be unkind to yourself to know where to grow and get so upset you actually do something instead of just talking.

The end is not nigh

You have triggers that make you feel down on yourself or give up, and you might as well discover them so you know when you're spanking yourself. When we feel at our lowest, we are often about to make a breakthrough.

If you can tell when you're at rock bottom, you can be open for the moment of clarity that helps you see where to go next. Giving yourself a chance to notice what pulls you down can help you know how to climb back up. Or, better yet, how not to spiral down in the future.

Times are tough in the world right now, and we need to be tougher. You can't always fix everything by just thinking positively.

You've seen those old black and white photos of families from a hundred years ago. They weren't smiling, and they were surviving.

They didn't finish a day on the farm, working out in the hot sun, smiling, and telling themselves how happy they were. Looking in the mirror, telling themselves life can be easy and fun when life was hard. Our ancestors had very few options.

It's much easier now, but we act like it should be a breeze.

Life is still challenging, no matter how nicer our living conditions have become—facing negativity and letting it run all over you is how to understand what gets you down and leads to change.

Unless you suffer from chronic depression, you might want to see a doctor and get on medication if that's the case.

The rest of us can learn to live with our negativity and practice some grit.

Cheers to the new you.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

4 Ways Risking Your Life to Be a Teacher Has Its Benefits

Helping others succeed while dodging covid can give you more time to do what you love.

Image courtesy of viralityfacts.com.

Teachers are leaving the profession in such ridiculous droves you would think a ticking time bomb was placed under their desks. The low pay, stress, and fear of catching covid feel like a career in education could blow up in your face.

If you’ve got the guts to stare at possible death in the face while wearing a mask all day, teaching could give you more of what you want out of life. Does this sound crazy? Sure. We’re living in a time where going to work and catching covid could kill you.

Ignoring this fact is unrealistic.

There’s risk everywhere nowadays. If you’re privileged enough to believe everyone can work remotely from home and stay away from other people, you should open your eyes. No matter what variant of covid is going around, everyone needs to pay the bills.

Most workers have to stay afloat by showing up to work on-site, hopefully fully vaccinated. Teaching, like any profession, has its positives and negatives, but if you look at it in the right way, it is still a pretty darn good job.

It’s time we diffuse the bomb and take another look at why teaching is the most remarkable career in these uncertain times.

1. You give a lot but get so much more in return

Imagine a job where you get to help young people learn new skills and information that will prepare them for their future. I bet, if you’re not a teacher, that doesn’t sound all that great at first. Maybe something for a kind friend you have who’s always volunteering their time to others, but not you.

Watching someone grow into a more intelligent, mature, and confident individual is more fulfilling than you might realize. I didn’t even know how fulfilling it could be at first.

I loved drawing comics and dreamed of becoming a famous cartoonist when I was a kid. My mother was a teacher, and there was no way I would become a teacher too. In my mind, teaching would mean I failed as an artist.

No thanks.

After graduating from college with a degree in graphic design, I began freelancing with a portfolio more tailored towards illustration. Finding a full-time illustration job didn’t work out, and I fell into teaching art in elementary school.

I knew I would hate it and expected it to suck—the magic of sharing my skills with kids and seeing them grow as artists were infectious. I fell in love with teaching.

My students said thank you to me regularly, and I felt like teaching gave back so much more than entertaining people with my illustrations and comics ever could.

It’s true. If you want to make a difference in the world—teach.

2. Low pay but more time off to do what you love

Here’s the thing, according to a recent study by the RAND Corporation, nearly one out of four teachers in the U.S. considered leaving their job by the end of the school year because of work-related stress and low pay.

Teaching ain’t easy these days.

If you can put your heart into your work by giving more focus to how you’re helping students, you may stay in the profession longer. One way to balance out the hard work is with generous vacation time.

Time for your hobbies and side hustles. With two weeks off during the holidays, a week at spring break, and two months off in the summer, not to mention every other major holiday, you can make time for doing your hobbies.

In essence, you’re getting paid for an entire year but only working full-time for nine months.

One part of teaching that shocks me to this day is how exhausted I am when these vacations come around—like borderline burnt out. Of course, the level of depletion you experience depends on where you’re teaching and what you go through each day. In some situations, school systems, student bodies, and faculty can be better or worse than others.

Teaching can truly take it out of you, but if you have something creative you love to do, it can give you the time to work on your projects. Not just during time off, but each working day. You are the one running your classes and deciding when to grade or plan outside of instructional hours, so your personal time is flexible.

Maybe you have a principal peeking over your shoulder every minute, but I doubt it. Most likely, though, teaching feels more like running your own business. There are always requirements to meet and people to please, but you can make the most of your time the way you choose.

Even when the days are tough, teachers are creative and can lighten the mood to keep everyone sane with a bit of insanity.

Image courtesy of viralityfacts.com.

3. Teachers can leave the profession and come back

There’s no corporate ladder, so you can do something else and return to teaching in your exact position. In fact, the experience you’ll bring with you from your other career could enhance what you teach your students. You might have to move to a new school or district, but that could help you negotiate a higher salary.

If you’re looking to transition into another field, you have time to study or build a business while teaching. The schedule is predictable, so you can efficiently plan and use your off time.

I spent three years freelance writing in my off time and then took a copywriting job with a tech company in silicon valley.

At that time, I was ready for a new challenge. I felt the need to grow as a writer and learn new skills, so I made a move, knowing full well I could go back to teaching if necessary.

The pandemic hit almost two years later, and BAM, I lost my job—going back to education was a lifesaver.

I could bring what I learned in the corporate world and, along with teaching art, help by working with communications and marketing of the school. It’s a blast combining my love of the arts and storytelling with writing and sharing content.

After several more years, who knows, perhaps work writing or drawing opportunities may come up. I could leap again to help grow and learn new skills, knowing I have years of experience in education to fall back on.

Even though the trend nowadays seems to be either quitting your job or working for only a year, I like staying for 2–3 years if possible. You learn the ropes and have more time for deeper connections with coworkers and students.

Teaching at a school isn’t the only way to be an educator, though.

4. Teachers can work everywhere

You can teach in a classroom at a school if that’s your goal, but there are plenty of opportunities online. Remote learning is enormous and most likely here to stay. Many professionals will take courses remotely via zoom, and schools need people who understand designing and building a curriculum.

If you want to go corporate, companies need teachers to help train new employees. Even in sales, having experience speaking in front of a group and clearly explaining the benefits of products is not something everyone can do well. Teaching experience gives you advantages.

As we get a better hold on the pandemic, more jobs will open teaching overseas where you can experience another country and culture. I lived in Japan teaching English for two years and absolutely loved my time there.

Getting a chance to live in such a beautiful country, learn the language, and even meet my wife made me appreciate the doors a teaching career can open for you.

If you look at your career in education as an excellent way to learn new skills and grow as a person, you can move into just about any job. The issue right now is with staying healthy and avoiding getting covid.

Comparing your career to an adventure may sound extreme, but in a lot of ways, it’s true. You have to be ready for the twists and turns but stay open to where it can take you, and I say it’s worth the risks.

If you’re a teacher who sees the benefits of your profession, take hold of the possibilities and explore your options. You’re in demand. Maybe you’re someone who enjoys helping others and can transition into a career in education. I say go for it.

Where will you decide to teach next?

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

This Star Wars Fight Scene Shows You How to Live in The Moment

Start behaving like a Jedi to embrace the here and now.

Image screenshot of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, property of Disney and Lucasfilm.

Modern life can feel like a battle at times. Ongoing work and responsibilities wear you down to a point where you can't even remember who you are anymore.

You feel like a robot, or a droid from Star Wars, carrying out your programming with the sole purpose of serving others. How can you stay connected to who you are and lead a more balanced life?

Watching one of my favorite fight scenes in Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace always reminds me of an important truth I think will help you when life gets overwhelming.

I'll admit, it's not the best overall movie, but the fight choreography when Qui-gon Jinn and Obi-Wan fight Darth Maul mixed with that banging Duel of the Fates score is pretty badass.

I always get caught by Qui-gon's decision to meditate during a break in the lightsaber battle—a decisive moment that displays a lot about his character and how we can handle stressful situations.

If you don't remember the scene, take a look here. The part I'm talking about is at the 2-minute mark.

Qui-gon Jinn is in the literal fight of his life, and what does he do when barriers block him from advancing on Darth Maul? He decides to sit and pay attention to the moment.

Breathing, and most likely visualizing his next moves, but doing it calmly and peacefully—moving away from anxiety and fear through meditation.

On the other hand, Darth Maul paces back and forth impatiently, grimacing at Qui-gon like an animal starving for blood. This is one of the few times in a Star Wars film where I can actually feel the difference between being a Sith and a Jedi beyond just the visuals.

The fact that Qui-gon loses and ultimately gets stabbed is, of course, heartbreaking, but because we love what he stands for as a true Jedi master, we're moved by his death.

You're right there with Obi-Wan when he screams and runs in after the barrier opens to shred it up with Darth.

Does this mean meditation is useless? Qui-gon Jinn lost after all. Maybe he should have stayed standing up inside that red force field, staring at Darth Maul while gritting his teeth in frustration.

Or, perhaps it's all about how Qui-gon decided to live his life while alive.

You can admire his choice, and it's clear he understood the possible consequences involved in the battle. He was fighting highly trained evil and could most likely die. I'm sure he was in this situation many times before, but he kept centered and focused.

Qui-gon lost that Darth Maul battle, but he won being a master Jedi in control of his emotions through mindfulness.

We never know the outcome of the risks we take in life, but we should still take them. Pausing and paying attention to the present moment can help make you stronger and get you through it all with grace.

Here's how to think like a Jedi and become one with the force.

You can accept the truth in the present moment

If a Jedi can stop in the middle of a lightsaber duel to sit and meditate, you have the same choice when challenges feel insurmountable. Make sure to pause and pay attention to your thinking and emotions to handle how to proceed.

If the force is all around us, why not tap into its energy by sitting in silence for several minutes? People, most likely, are afraid to look at reality with honesty. If your situation sucks, it's OK to accept it so you can figure out what to do about it.

Sometimes keeping busy and filling up time with unnecessary duties might feel like it's helping you cope, but it's probably slowing you down. I like how this idea is addressed in Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now."

“Accept — then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

-Eckhart Tolle

Qui-gon knew the dangers of being an elite Jedi warrior and accepted the idea that battles are uncomfortable situations where you could be killed. Even with that acceptance, he charged forward, giving the fight his all.

Make mindfulness time into a habit

Our technology might not be as advanced as in the Star Wars universe, but we can set timers that remind us to be mindful. I know there are apps for this and even writing sticky notes you can place on your laptop, any way you choose, make meditation a habit.

Even if it means remembering to stop what you're doing when you're stressed and taking three deep breaths, you'll feel the benefits.

You can see things for what they are, essential and nuanced, but not the end of the world.

“The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life. The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what “is.”

-Eckhart Tolle

The next time you're facing adversity, remember this Star Wars fight scene and be like Qui-gon Jinn — take time to breathe and refocus. You might not be facing a life or death situation, but you'll have an easier time not only surviving but winning the day.

In the words of a Jedi master…

“Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don’t think. Use your instincts.”

- Qui-Gon Jinn

Want more? If you're struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

How I Learned a Better Way to Hold Chopsticks

Illustrated by the author.

I thought I held chopsticks correctly.

When I moved to Osaka, Japan, many years ago to teach English in junior high schools, I had a tough time adjusting to being a foreigner in a new country and barely speaking the language. I figured using chopsticks was one thing I had years of practice with, so there was no need to worry.

After only a week of living in Shimamoto, a small town just north of Osaka, I went out to eat with my Japanese coworkers. One of them observed me struggling to pick up a piece of sushi and, without words, showed me how to hold my chopsticks, which turned into a next-level upgrade.

As a cartoonist and storyboard artist, I decided to draw the scene and put it together as an animatic. Take a look at this silent 38-second clip that changed how I use chopsticks to this day…

I never thought holding your chopsticks further up would make such a huge difference. Now, it’s pretty easy to pick up just about anything.

My chopsticks technique grew immensely after that short lesson from one kind coworker. I feel indebted to him to this day. The best part is, I was able to pay it forward.

One evening a few years later, while back in the U.S., I ate out at one of those Benihana-style teppanyaki restaurants. You always sit with others and share a large table while the chef is cooking in front of you. I caught one of the people sitting at the other end, watching me pick up my food easily.

I smiled and noticed he was holding his chopsticks closer to the bottom. Remembering my experience in Japan, I pulled my hand down to open and close them to show how difficult it is to open them wide that way.

As soon as I pulled my hand back up and displayed how wide you can open chopsticks, the guy’s eyes popped wide open. He smiled, changed his hand position to further up, and enjoyed picking up every piece of food thrown at him during the rest of the dinner.

We didn’t even talk to each other, but I could see he appreciated the lesson.

How do you hold your chopsticks? If you learned something new, make sure to share it with others the next time you’re in a Japanese restaurant.

You never know how much it could change their confidence.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

The Life Advice I Nearly Died to Learn

It’s about more than feeling grateful to be alive.

Photo by Thomas Le on Unsplash

This article isn’t just about how precious life is—you know that already.

Going through the experience I’m about to tell you that happened because of my own lousy judgment helped me discover how to look at life and might help you too.

Here’s what started me down this road.

One late evening many years ago, after working all day, I needed to drive five hours south to visit family in Atlanta, Georgia. I was tired, exhausted even. When I look back on it, I know I shouldn’t have been driving a long distance, but I did it anyway.

It was close to midnight, driving down the highway, and I started to dose off. I wasn’t worried, though. Driving long distances is my thing. My confidence in the ability to stay awake, stay focused on the road, and make it to my destination was unshakable.

Until I fell asleep, and my car swerved to the left and hit the median.

My car spun to the right, across every lane of the highway. While spinning, my mind did exactly what I’ve heard other people explain. Time slowed down.

I was in shock, and my car was spinning. I thought another vehicle, or worse, a truck, would run into me. I figured this was it, and I would die. But I didn’t. My car slid down into a shallow ditch on the right side of the highway. I sat there frozen, staring out the window as my mind slowly crept out of the fog of shock covering me.

“I’m alive.” I thought to myself over and over again.

As a Black man sitting in the middle of nowhere Georgia late at night, I was afraid to stay there or even call the cops. Getting the car back on the road was the only option. My engine was still running, so I put it in drive and tried rolling out of the ditch.

The car moved up a little, but my ancient Honda Civic barely had enough power to get up the hill. I floored the gas pedal, and thankfully my prayers were answered as it moved up and back onto the highway.

Not taking any chances, I rolled down my windows, cranked up the radio, and drove the last hour and a half into Atlanta. The scrape on the left side of my car from hitting the median was a small price to pay for keeping my life.

During that ride post-accident, yes, I was grateful to be alive and pissed at myself for driving drowsy. But I realized something.

If things were just a little different, I’d be dead. The truth is, bad things happen and will continue to happen. We must all choose what seemingly bad events mean to us.

Accepting that it’s my responsibility to decide how to think about every event in my life is a privilege I will gladly take on. What I went through sucked, but what I learned from it is powerful.

We can make life better or worse—starting with how we want to see it.

I could have spent the entire ride punching myself in the face for not waiting until the next day, after a good night’s sleep, to drive to Atlanta. My deliberate choice was to focus on the fact that I got myself out of the ditch and back on the road.

Could I have fallen asleep again? Sure. But I decided to push through and reach my destination by ensuring I couldn’t fall asleep again. And you know what? I have never driven long distances at night while tired again. That was my choice. I learned from my mistake.

What if you feel there are no choices in life for you?

Change your perspective, and change your life

The first perspective upgrade to make is recognizing you have the power to think differently about yourself and your situation in life. You don’t have to almost die to understand how powerful changing your thinking about something can be.

I’m a big fan of accepting situations for what they are and then deciding to move forward. Going through an accident where I could have died or have been seriously injured, but didn’t, could have been all I needed to decide never to drive again. Like god was telling me, I don’t belong behind the wheel.

Of course, that’s not true. If everyone stopped driving after getting in one accident, far fewer cars would be on the road. It would be best if you built up resilience to tough times and difficult situations so you can get back in the game after hardships.

I decided to give thanks for coming out of the accident safely and understanding I must be more careful while driving. The lesson I learned helped shape me into a better driver and taught me; even small things can make a huge difference.

When you can make your mistakes into lessons and difficulties into opportunities, you can conquer anything.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” -Maya Angelou

Change your thinking now. Don’t wait.

You don’t need to risk your life to appreciate how much good you can give to the world. All you have to do is make a choice. Choose now.

Upgrading your perspective is easier than you think. Here are several ways to do it without nearly dying.

• Take a step back to see the bigger picture. Soar above your life and look at it from above to get a broader perspective. What can you change?

• Focus on what you have rather than what you’re missing.

• Practice gratitude. Even the smallest blessings are worth your attention.

• Try out new things. Stretch yourself with new hobbies or activities. You’ll be forced to open your mind and see life anew.

If something like an accident or health-scare hasn’t happened to you yet, it most likely will. I know that’s morbid to think about, and I apologize. But, staring at death in the face gives you the proper perspective on life. You will discover what truly matters if you haven’t figured it out already.

Fortunately, you don’t have to go through hell to get to an epiphany about life. You can choose to make a change right now.

The power is all yours. Upgrade your perspective and choose the life you desire.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

3 Ways the New Dune Movie Hit Differently From the Book

Even in the future, white people reign supreme

Image created by PopCultArt on Pinterest.

Warning: Dune spoilers ahead.

Why is the chosen one always a white guy?

This thought never entered my mind when I took on the challenge of reading Frank Herbert's mega-sized “Dune” novel.

For years, I wanted to read the book and pushed it away, thinking it would be full of complicated details, songs, and descriptions similar to "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy—which I also haven't read.

Early previews of the new Dune movie directed by Denis Villeneuve looked pretty darn sweet, so I was compelled to grab a paperback brick version of the book.

The story was a slow mover initially, but it came to life when the Atreides family got to the planet of Arrakis, and we learned more about the Fremen and sacred sandworms. As the main character, Paul Atreides, bobs and weaves his way into becoming Maud Dib—a messiah, I was excited for him with the help of his mother, Lady Jessica.

You learn to respect the Fremen of Arrakis in the book and their ways and also understand how a fifteen-year-old ex-pat from another planet could end up taking charge.

Sure, the book's comparisons to the Middle East with battles over their version of oil, melange (spice), is clear. Even as a Black man, casting people of color in the live-action movie surprised me.

The new film was gorgeous but didn't feel how I hoped it would for several reasons.

1. I didn't visualize Black characters in the book, but they were in the movie

Dune the book felt more like a story of a family from planet Caladan coming in like a fish out of water and eventually melting in with the people and culture of planet Arrakis. The idea that the Atreides family is white and the Fremen are Black and brown crossed my mind but didn't linger.

You would assume people who live in the heat of the desert would be brown skin from the sun, and maybe because I'm a Black man, I just saw all the characters as brown or pale white in my head. No one felt Black to me.

Is this just a case of, now that the characters are on screen, I can see how multicultural they are? Not really. Plenty of thought and work goes into choosing a cast of characters in films.

On the one hand, I appreciate the representation of Black actors. Still, on the other, I'm angry the people of color are the ones causing trouble and getting murdered throughout the movie.

Not only Black actors. A double-crossing Asian male character is killed early on. Then a black woman, culminating with, and this one got me, Paul, fighting a Black Fremen in a duel to the death and wins.

Yeah, Paul's been training in his Caladan martial art for years but come on! Does this spoiled son of royalty really have what it takes to go toe-to-toe with a hardened Fremen who survived growing up wild in the desert?

When I read this scene in the book, it made sense. Seeing it on screen stretched my imagination and patience a bit too thin. The feeling I got inside that the casting agents were doing all they could to hire people of color in roles where they knew they could get killed truly irked me.

It is similar to the joke about how Black characters in action and horror movies die first—and they do, time and time again. The new Dune movie was unapologetically dismissive of its cast of color.

2. The chosen one narrative felt like a fact in the movie and not a maybe

In the book, it feels more like a messiah figure is planted in the minds of the Fremen by agents of the Bene Gesserit. I loved the idea that this sort of belief is manufactured and questions our history with divine leaders.

The Fremen believe Paul is the chosen one because they were led to it by storytellers over many years planting ideas in the minds of the Fremen people. If you hadn't read the books, this idea would fly right past you when it's hinted at in the movie.

No ifs, ands, or buts, about it, most viewers watching will assume Paul is the chosen one. If they haven't read the book, they'll miss one of the most intriguing parts of the story.

Is there a true messiah, or is he a creation in a larger plan by outside forces?

Let's hope they bring this back in part two of the movie and challenge his chosen one status. You rarely see this idea in scifi and have to accept the white guy as the divine right ruler of them all—like in The Matrix and Star Wars franchises.

Breaking that tradition in the new Dune movies would not only be more exciting to watch but leave viewers pondering how much is true about what we're led to believe in our culture and society.

In essence, a much more exciting take on the science fiction genre.

3. Pale skin characters were the most cruel villains

How evil house Harkonnen plots to destroy the Atreides, and their hold on the Arrakis spice trade is pretty nasty, but when reading the book, I didn't see them all as white, pale-skinned punk rockers.

The overweight floating Baron was described as someone who could be a white dude in the book, but the Harkonnens were all a pasty mess in the movie.

Was the plan to make it look like the paler you are, the more evil you become? I can't entirely agree with that idea, but I sure got that impression in the movie version.

Their home planet was all dark and rainy. No wonder the Harkonnen are so pissed all the time.

You can understand how visual contrast comes into play here. When you see the warm browns and beige colors of the land and desert people of Arrakis up against the pale evils of the Harkonnen, it makes an impression.

In the book, you get to read their clever plans and how smart Harkonnens are at manipulation. You understand theirs much more to them than pale skin and an insatiable lust for power.

To conclude

Even with all the issues I had with the movie version, I still enjoyed it. The cinematography was gorgeous, and the story felt faithful to the book. The tempo was a little slow at times, almost meditative. Let's hope they'll pick up the pace in part two, so events move faster and hit harder.

You always have to be careful when visual representation is added to anything written. I've experienced this as an artist and illustrator. Working with clients, you get a different reaction when the idea on paper becomes a drawing or painting.

The positive part of the process is making edits and changes to the look and design of visual elements once you see them. You learn very few details are mistakes. Someone has to see it and make a decision to keep it that way.

In a movie as meticulously designed and planned out as the new Dune is, I'm disappointed no one caught the apparent issues of hierarchy set up by race and color. You get the sense that even far in the future, in a star system light-years away, white people are more regal and of higher status than people of color.

Perhaps in Dune part two, they will choose to do a better job of representation, but I doubt it. White males enjoy being seen as the undisputed champions and have the privilege to continue sharing that narrative in film. It’s not stopping anytime soon.

Denis Villeneuve is a talented director, but he's no messiah.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Are You Addicted to Being Busy or in Love With Your Work?

Why making that distinction could save your life

Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash

Waking up at 5 a.m. to work on a personal project or side business before heading off to a day job has now become a common negative stereotype of hustle porn. Do we need to work this much?

If you’re doing something you love, maybe.

Figuring out if what you’re working on is just keeping you busy to make money or giving you something more significant than dollar bills is vital.

I like work. In fact, I’m writing this article early in the morning before my teaching job. Getting up at five in the morning is challenging at times, but the natural high I get from writing and drawing first thing in the morning stays with me throughout the day.

I feel good, and most importantly, I’m having fun.

It wasn’t always this way. There have been plenty of times where I worked myself to the bone freelancing or trying to build a business, asking myself, “Why am I doing this?”

I had to figure out what worked. The hardest part was being honest with myself about what I truly love and desire to do.

The uncomfortable truth is, you may have to get everything wrong before you can move in the direction of what’s right.

What work addiction looks like

You’re afraid of silence. Afraid of peace.

Not what you expected? Hear me out.

You’re accustomed to something happening, or something you have to do is present at all times. You feel like a hard worker when you’re constantly taking care of tasks for your work or thinking about ways to make it better.

You feel like constantly spending time doing, producing, or making, will lead to growth, success, respect, and riches. You overwork yourself.

“I can’t stop, or I’ll get left behind.” you think.

You’re doing time-consuming tasks, keeping you busy but ultimately not moving you forward. It’s not what you love, but you’ve heard this type of business or action at work will lead to financial success. You think it helps you feel better about yourself.

But it leads to burnout.

You can’t let go of making things happen. It’s time to stop, but you can’t see it until your body forces you by getting sick or losing motivation or excitement for what you do.

What loving your work looks like

You can’t wait to get up in the morning to jump into a project you’ve been working on each day. In your mind, making money from it is nice, but you’d do this for free because it’s so much fun.

Even if it’s something you weren’t good at first, but now you’ve learned more and are excited and, not to mention curious, about learning all you can and getting better at it. You have a passion for the work.

Does this mean you never get tired? Of course not. You understand we all get run down eventually.

Burnout can still happen even when you love what you do, or it’s your passion. You know this, so you schedule downtime. Planning work in terms of seasons, months of the calendar year where you’re more productive, and others where you slow down and recharge to help you stay balanced.

I love being an educator and during the pandemic went through teaching primarily on Zoom. At first, I thought holding classes on video would be easier because I’m at home. It ended up being twice as much work.

On top of that, I was keeping up with my daughter’s fifth-grade homeschooling due to the pandemic and drawing comics and writing in what little spare time I had left. I love everything, but after over a year of pushing without much leisure time, I passed out and was sent to the emergency room.

I got sick from one bacterial infection to the next, getting sent to the hospital four times in three months. Fortunately, as a teacher, I get the summers off, so I finally had a wake-up call and made sure to slow down as much as possible and heal.

Like me, you may love what you do but get addicted to doing it regularly. Writing, teaching, and drawing are my outlets, and I could not be myself without them. This could be true, but it doesn’t mean I need to do as much.

Like in the play “Hamilton,” his wife keeps getting on him for “Writing like he’s running out of time.” I feel that way at times. Like I have to get out as much work as possible with the time I have.

Rest and remove the unnecessary

Give yourself true leisure time. Your exhaustion is more than not having a vacation in a long time. It’s the fact that you haven’t made time for real rest.

Some ideas for letting go and giving your body and mind a break are playing sports, meditation or just sitting outside staring at nature, reading a good book, hiking in the woods, and spending time with a good friend.

Refresh your mind and spirit so when it’s time to get back into doing the work you love, you have passionate energy for your chosen passion.

When you know the parts of your business or passion project you enjoy the most, it’s easier to give tasks away to assistants or hired help.

If you don’t have the money to hire help, try and do less of the excruciating functions and spend more time on what you enjoy. When your business grows, you may add on more help with what you like the least.

Being realistic about how much you do and when to rest can save your health and your life.

Decide to take ownership of who you are

You’re not superhuman. No matter how much you enjoy what you do every day. The human body can only take so much.

Stop being addicted to work and accept that loving it leads to burnout just as much as when you hate what you do for a living. Either way, you must give yourself time to rest and rejuvenate.

You’re not going to win an award for the most passionate worker.

Sure, when you hate what you do, you’ll need more time to work through mental frustrations and stress, but doing what you love carries stressors as well.

When you decide what you’re doing is essential to you, make it your way of giving to the world and helping others, then your hard work will feel like it’s worth the time. Planning for relaxation because you know it’s vital for your mental and spiritual health is extremely important.

No one is going to force you to take time for yourself. Even if they do, you are the one who decides what you’ll do with that time.

Learn to love your work and scheduled leisure time so you’ll live long enough to appreciate what you earned.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Stop Letting Your Kids Watch Squid Game

Why it's worse than violent video games

Photo by Vadim Bogulov on Unsplash

Disclaimer: Squid Game spoilers are sprinkled throughout this article.

"I love watching Squid Game. It's so good!" a 7th-grade student said to me the other day.

How are they able to watch a show like that at their age? I was shocked with a massive side of feeling appalled.

In some ways, I get it. The setup of Netflix's most-watched show to date grabs you and won't let go. Everyone's talking about it, and you're thrilled to join in and be a part of the phenomenon. Who cares if it glorifies senseless killing and makes it seem like a person's life is meaningless. It's gripping entertainment.

The entertainment we as adults can look at from many sides and approach objectively is fine. What about people who openly let their kids who are under the age of 15 watch? Yes, I believe Squid Game is too raw and real even for teenagers.

Right off the bat, I enjoyed the show and was pleasantly surprised by the direction it took at every turn. No surprise, I usually hate bloody series where people's lives are popped off like they're roaches infesting a house. The story and mystery of Squid Game caught me.

As a father of an eleven-year-old, though—who I would never let view such a violent extravaganza—I was shocked to discover families are sitting down, cuddling together, and watching Squid Game like it was made for them.

As a middle school teacher, my 6th-8th grade students love discussing the show and talking about their favorite parts and bragging about how their parents can't wait to make popcorn and get back to viewing a show where hundreds of gamblers and criminals compete in childhood games and get shot dead if they lose.

Maybe it's because the show's violence is relegated to mainly getting shot, stabbed, or dropped from great heights. It's not excessively gory or disgusting to watch, but players of the game are being killed and incinerated the entire run.

Survival shows are nothing new, and I know young people enjoy watching them. Squid Game feels different to me for several reasons.

Popularity doesn't mean it's suitable for everyone

The show wouldn't get the attention it does from families if it weren't as popular. Viewers want in on the latest hit, no matter the genre or plot. Heck, that's how it pulled me in.

Squid Game was released on September 17 and, in 23 days, became the top most successful show on Netflix, leaving its other popular show, Bridgerton, in the dust. Over 1 billion hours were spent watching the series by viewers.

It caught on like wildfire but is that an excuse to let kids watch?

Part of the show's draw is the childlike games the players engage in, like Red Light Green Light, where if you're caught moving on red, you get shot dead.

An interesting idea. What's stopping children from adding killing to their games out on the playground? Even if it's just pretending—point your finger at a friend and pretend to shoot them down—is this ok?

A council in England doesn't think so. The Central Bedfordshire council in the south of England issued notices to parents to make them aware of where watching shows like Squid Game could lead:

“There have been some concerning reports recently about children and young people ‘playing’ Squid Game whilst at school. Squid Game is also being viewed via other platforms such as YouTube and TikTok, and given the popularity of the games in the show, developers have made various mini-games based on Squid Game on Roblox and other gaming platforms.

We strongly advise that children should not watch Squid Game. The show is quite graphic with a lot of violent content.”

When you see how meaningless the characters' lives feel in the show, dying seems like nothing important at all. Not only is this desensitizing young people to killing and death, due to the nature of the children-themed games they play, it feels like the characters deserved it.

Violent video games and animation hit differently

Squid Game feels very real and is set in what looks like the real world. You get the sense that this sort of game could be happening around the world right now. Indeed, this is one of the reasons the show is as popular as it is, but will young people get excited about possibly playing in it one day?

We now have people competing in Quidditch games based on the ever-popular Harry Potter series. Could this lead to wealthy investors actually starting a game like this in real life? Will a twelve-year-old grow up and want to build their own death game?

The games the adults are playing are based on ones they loved to play as kids. Who wouldn't want to play tug of war? Adding the part where you die if you lose is twisted and normalizes death games in young minds.

Playing violent video games also gives you less concern for killing and watching people die, but at least it's computer-generated.

Children shouldn't spend all their time playing those types of games, but they can turn it off and get it's fake due to the animation and the fact that they're making decisions with a game controller.

In Japanese animation, survival anime shows like Gantz and Attack on Titan are set in fantasy worlds or dystopian futures. You can distance yourself, thinking this is happening in another place. It's more of a "What if" type scenario in a universe very different from ours.

Just say no to kids glorifying real-life violence

I know you think I should chill out. It's just a TV show, after all. Very true. But it's the most popular TV show in the world. You know this genre will grow and expand now that studios know the pull live-action violent games have on viewers. Is this the direction we want television to go?

In five years, will we have real-life death games we're all tuning in to watch, like in the Schwarzenegger movie, The Running Man, where people are betting on who will survive and dismissive of those that die? I'm not ready for that kind of society.

Giving children access to animated violence isn't great, but we know they have an interest. At least when it's not with actual human beings, they can see it as the entertainment it was meant to be.

If you're a parent of a pre-teen, don't share the show with your kids. Several years from now, if they're still interested, perhaps they'll be developmentally ready to take on such a violent take on kid's playground games.

Until then, keep young people away from Squid Game.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.