Two Words That Make Success Easier

This is what it takes to get where you want to be.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Don’t be fooled by quick and easy success stories. Making it big takes a lot of hard work.

It’s even more hard work than you think because success involves getting out of your own way.

I know you want to believe you can stay the same, and luck will bless you and suddenly change your life for the better, but this is juvenile thinking. Growing up and realizing that you have to put in time and effort to succeed is significant.

Success takes two essential ingredients most people run away from like the plague—even if they know working hard is a primary key.

I’ve lived a pretty good life, worked as a writer, artist, and teacher, and even traveled the world. Without two truths, I could have never done all that I did and plan to continue doing in the future.

If you can get navigate pushing through these two words, success can be more effortless for you to attain.

1. Failure

As a writer and cartoonist, naturally, I’m a fan of animated films, especially ones made by Disney. You may feel like everything the company does has always been a success.

So not true.

The Walt Disney Company has had successes and failures over its almost 100-year history. Slow times and fast. But it kept figuring out ways to keep going because they understood disappointment is a part of taking risks and doing business. Walt ingrained this idea into the studio.

Before Walt Disney started the company with his brother Roy, an editor at a newspaper he worked for told him he lacked imagination and had no good ideas. I bet that pissed him off a bit but gave him the fuel needed to prove him wrong.

“I think it’s important to have a good hard failure when you’re young… Because it makes you kind of aware of what can happen to you. Because of it I’ve never had any fear in my whole life when we’ve been near collapse and all of that. I’ve never been afraid.”

-Walt Disney

You have to be willing to try and fail. Yes, you may look like an idiot or embarrass yourself, but what you’ll learn will help you make new and different choices next time.

If you look at failure as a part of the learning process, something you need to get better and discover what works, you can use it.

People who never fail never really try.

You don’t have to like it, but make friends with it so you can reach your goals.

2. Discomfort

No one knows how to face discomfort like stand-up comedians. I may love writing humor in a comic strip format and have to face the possibility my readers won’t laugh at the joke, but I don’t have to meet them in person.

One of my favorite comedians is Jerry Seinfeld. Not just because he was able to get a hugely successful TV show with his name on it, but because he has a unique style and delivery, and most importantly, he never uses curse words.

That’s tough to do.

After his first set doing stand-up as a young comedian on the circuit, I read that it didn’t go well. Seeing the audience made him freeze when he set foot on stage, and he was booed off.

Think about it. Seinfeld could have said “Screw this!” packed his bags, and left that world forever.

Instead, he decided to get over himself and make success as a comedian more important than his discomfort on stage. I bet he could tell it was something he could get over if he practiced more. If writing jokes gets easier the more you do it, so can dealing with standing up on stage.

Of course, we all know how that turned out. Jerry Seinfeld was right to keep working through the discomfort.

Truthfully, it’s still uncomfortable for me to put my work out there, but I’ve learned to get used to that awkward feeling. You have to know that not being comfortable means you’re growing. The skills you’re learning, or the way you’re thinking about something new are being stretched.

Even though that’s a good thing, it’s only up to you to decide to keep facing discomfort head-on.

Make a point to try new things to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Talk to random people on the street and ask them questions about their life, volunteer to present new ideas during meetings at work, put your writing out online wherever you can, and brace yourself for criticism.

Doing what you fear will build up your tolerance for it and make it easier over time.

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

- Jerry Seinfeld

Getting good is the real secret

The main reason to grow more decisive in dealing with failure and discomfort is to get better at doing your craft. People want to read, watch, and hear good quality work, and if you make stuff and make it well, they’ll notice.

It’s incredible how easy it can be to give up because we can’t handle things not going the way we think they should. You will win when you give yourself the space to fail and feel like crap, but get back up and keep making—even if your success takes years.

If there’s one thing we can’t deny, it’s high-quality work. Good writing, beautiful music, and clever ideas get noticed, even if we’re unsure why it’s so great.

A combination of daily work, to get better, then facing your fears to put it out there can make a difference. When one of my articles gets a lot of attention or a comic strip receives many positive comments, I know I connected with people.

Even if that doesn’t happen for every piece, I put out, I know continuing to produce, learn, and iterate will help give me more chances at success.

It’s never just luck, even though luck can help. Working through setbacks and challenges will get you where you want to be in the long run.

Your success in life is proportional to how much risk and discomfort you can handle. Now get out there and fail more.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Add More Procrastination to Your Writing Process

How going with the flow can sometimes make things easier.

The author in the middle of the writing process.

Writers know what they want to say and write down their thoughts quickly. Right?

Wrong!

Tonight, I sat down to write a new article with a loose outline and no idea of an exciting story to use as my lead-in.

I procrastinated and read a bunch of articles on Medium, checked social media, and then fell asleep in my recliner.

You read that right. I fell asleep.

Napping with the laptop right on my lap.

Twenty minutes later, I woke up, wiped the drool off my mouth, and read through my outline draft.

An idea finally came to me, so I went with it, researched, and continued writing for another hour.

Not very disciplined, but it was good enough to get the job done this time.

Productivity and being a “good writer” can look different for everyone.

The process isn’t always smooth and can look messy and even lazy. If it works, though, it works.

Relax and do it your way.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

How Many Weeks of Life Do You Get?

And how to make them last longer.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

How many weeks does the average person live? Maybe your first thought is way up there, like 150k weeks, 70k weeks for sure. Believe it or not, it's much less than you'd think.

Oliver Burkeman asked this question to a host of people for his book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and they had similar guesses. One person even said 300k weeks.

In reality, Burkeman discovered that if you can make it to eighty years old, you guessed it, you live only around four thousand weeks.

I love how his book explores some of the deeper issues surrounding our relationship with time. The mistakes we make in trying to control it and how expectations we place on ourselves might be just plain wrong.

When you're looking to slow life down, get things done, and make the most of it, I took advice from the book that could help you.

A constant focus on productivity is useless

I love productivity hacks and practicing new ways to get more done in a day, but how much is enough? Burkeman's book argues we should ease off trying to be a productive superhero and be in the here and now instead of living for our future.

Doing more by checking things off your list is more about clearing time for more space at a later date. When I get it all done, I think I can relax and read or watch a movie without guilt because I know I took care of business.

You will enjoy your "downtime" even more if you free up your time. At least, that's the plan.

The problem with that idea, which most of us are buying, is that our "To Do" list will get completed, and it never does, and there will always be piles of stuff to do and work to get done.

Do you know when it all stops? That's right—when you're dead.

Making sure to take care of essential responsibilities is what any reasonable person should do. When we attach how much we can do directly to our self-worth, it becomes a problem.

If you only have four thousand weeks of life, will you spend it all trying to get everything done? You can't, and you never will do it all.

We spend most of our time doing things now to set everything up for a later date rather than living for the present moment.

“The problem with trying to make time for everything that feels important — or just for enough of what feels important — is that you definitely never will. The reason isn’t that you haven’t yet discovered the right time management tricks or supplied sufficient effort, or that you need to start getting up earlier, or that you’re generally useless. It’s that the underlying assumption is unwarranted: there’s no reason to believe you’ll ever feel ‘on top of things,’ or make time for everything that matters, simply by getting more done.”
― Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

Embrace the joy of missing out

If you're living a life where there's so much, you have to do for work, family, and recreation time, life is pretty damn good already. You have so many opportunities to live life to the fullest; you don't have time to experience them all.

Four Thousand Weeks helped me understand there can never be a time where we have it all—especially not all at once.

Instead of fearing missing out, embrace what Burkeman calls the joy of missing out.

Knowing you have so much you could do but can't should fill you with glee. What a rich life you live. You have to pick and choose. There’s so much to enjoy, work for, or experience.

Feeling like we can't do it all should help us feel grateful for the good life we're leading and, in turn, live more in the moment.

“Convenience culture seduces us into imagining that we might find room for everything important by eliminating only life’s tedious tasks. But it’s a lie. You have to choose a few things, sacrifice everything else, and deal with the inevitable sense of loss that results.”
― Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

The universe could care less what you do

Here's some hard truth to swallow. You're constantly busy working like a dog to make your mark on the world, not realizing the universe doesn't care.

Maybe in the future, your friends and family will, but in the long run, you're not going to become a legend, remembered two hundred years from now for your astounding achievements and remarkable ability to keep it all together.

Perhaps it's morbid to think we're all going to die and the world will forget us, but hopefully, it can help you calm down about doing big things while alive.

If you're lucky, your family will remember you forever. Your legacy of kindness, support, and meaningful work ethic can most certainly endure. How many items you were able to check off your list every day will not.

The universe wants you to create your life and experience it in any way that might look for you.

That's it.

Should you kill yourself working for a professional legacy when you could spend more time enjoying what you've created right now?

“Cosmic insignificance therapy is an invitation to face the truth about your irrelevance in the grand scheme of things. To embrace it, to whatever extent you can. (Isn’t it hilarious, in hindsight, that you ever imagined things might be otherwise?) Truly doing justice to the astonishing gift of a few thousand weeks isn’t a matter of resolving to “do something remarkable” with them. In fact, it entails precisely the opposite: refusing to hold them to an abstract and overdemanding standard of remarkableness.”
― Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

Patience gives you power

Learning you have four thousand weeks to live may make you fear the passage of time and want to slow it all down. I'm impatient with a lot of what I want out of life, but I'm starting to see how some of the best stuff takes time to develop.

When you revel in the experience of building, practicing, and learning what you need to get where you want to go, it feels magical. Pay more attention, and time will slow down. It's like having patience with the process and appreciating everything like it's brand new.

As we age, life seems to travel by at lightning speed. Making sure to pause, meditate, smile, and give thanks when great or even not-so-great experiences occur, can help you feel life is rich and full.

And best of all, moving slower.

When you live for the now, your weeks will be longer and your life more fulfilling.

"Mortality makes it impossible to ignore the absurdity of living solely for the future."
― Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

How to get things done in your four thousand weeks

Life demands we take action no matter how much we may want to spend time relaxing and enjoying the moment. Now you know, though, there's no way to get every important item done, but you can prioritize.

Burkeman gives some ways to make the tough choices of what to focus on easier so you can get on to appreciating life more.

• Determine time boundaries for work you'll get done each day. This could be as simple as deciding how much time to spend working on a given day. Let's say you start at 8 am and choose to work until 6 pm. Within those hours are when all aspects of your work are done. When time is up, you have to stop and have leisure time. I like to schedule morning work hours from 5 am to 10 am for writing and drawing, even on the weekends. After that, I'm with my family and having fun the rest of the day.

• Focus on one large project at a time. You might think it's better to tackle all your significant projects a little, so you're gradually making progress on each, but Burkeman disagrees. If you can get used to dealing with the anxiety of not getting other projects done and working solely on one at a time, you'll do better work and have more confidence giving your all to what's most important right now.

• Use "strategic underachievement" and decide what to fail at in advance. You feel hurt when you try hard and fail at something, but you can't succeed at everything. So, decide to be okay because there will be some tasks you either can't do well right now or won't do because there's no time. Parenting takes the front seat when my daughter needs more help with homework, and I don't have the time to write for as long. I can decide to suck at being a writer for a week until she's in a better place with her projects, knowing I can get back on the keyboard soon.

• Practice doing nothing. Life keeps moving, and we feel like all we can do is roll with it. You can choose to stop and just be. People have a super hard time with this and need to pick up their phones in any open moment to scroll social media apps mindlessly. Stop, sit, and just breathe. Taking time to be mindful of yourself or meditate helps to put everything in the proper perspective and cool your jets.

Living a fulfilling four thousand weeks involves getting less done while being mindful and appreciative of what you get to do.

You don't need to do as much as you think, and training yourself to be proud of how much you can get done can upgrade your days. The classic idea of quality over quantity is what successful weeks of life are all about—time to decide what matters most to you and start living fully with the time you have.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

A Keanu Reeves Quote to Remember When Life Rips You to Shreds

Hint: It’s not about becoming a supervillain.

Image courtesy of screenrant.com.

Experiencing ups and downs in your career and relationships can bring you to the point where you wonder if you should even keep trying.

Life's decisions and challenges can be like an action movie of the mind. You're dodging bullet-like events, staying strong through heartbreak and loss, while walking with your head up to keep from falling to the ground from the vertigo of events spinning around in your head.

Do you have to go through the trauma of losing your wife and exacting revenge like John Wick through a shoot-em-up flurry of gun craziness to feel like your issues have merit?

Nope.

The difficulties you face are more powerful than you're giving them credit for each day.

I've lost a sister far too young, a good friend shot and killed by the police, and took chances on jobs and creative pursuits that didn't work out and left me feeling hurt and utterly defeated.

Loss is something I'm very familiar with, but I still find a way to smile.

Friends and family think I'm always a positive, happy guy who can get through anything. I could never understand why. This quote gave me some insight and might help you too.

“If you have been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle to other living beings, then you’re a badass with a heart of an angel.”

-Keanu Reeves

The pandemic and world events have been rocking you back and forth like a ship in a storm. No one is immune to tough times right now. Please know staying a good person through it all is a testament to your strength and character.

Don't let it break you. Or, even worse, make you hate your life.

Turning to alcohol and drugs is a common way to cope. Not ideal for many reasons and a weak way to handle things, but it can make you think you're doing something to get through.

Remembering you're not a lonely action hero is better.

Find a support system of good friends or groups you can visit to talk through your pain and face it head-on. Feel your anger, shame, disappointment, and sadness so you can release it from your being.

As humans, we need a community to feel cared for and help us stay strong together. There's nothing weak about getting help.

When my youngest sister died at twenty-five years old, I was devastated. Fortunately, a friend suggested a men's support group, and I made the time to attend each week, which was transformational.

I learned about the stages of grief and accepted that some days would hurt like hell, while others would feel better, but over time, I would handle the loss with more ease.

My sister's memory is always there; missing her never goes away, but I keep her in my heart.

Joining the support group was something that would have sounded silly to me if a friend hadn't have cared enough to recommend it to me. It kept me from dealing with it all by taking drugs or other self-destructive activities.

A community can stand by your side and help lift you instead of just giving up.

If current world events aren't transforming you into a supervillain, you're pretty darn impressive. Give yourself some credit.

The truth is, as you age, everything gets more complicated. You get more responsibilities, your body breaks down, slows down, and gets tired easier.

You can toughen up, and I've seen so many seemingly weak people do it and grow the thick skin and loving heart needed to take the punches and still care for others as long as you decide in your head to overcome it all.

Owning your badassness can work wonders for your confidence. You can harden yourself on the outside while staying gentle and flexible inside.

When the guns of life are all pointing your way, know you have what it takes to keep being who you are and give the world your unique gifts.

I hope this pep talk helped upgrade your perspective.

Even heroes need a boost now and then. It's time to get out there and make Keanu proud.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.