3 Reasons You're Unsatisfied With Adulthood

And how to change your mindset to get more out of life.

Wincing at life. Illustrated by the author.

I bet you thought becoming an adult would be so much fun. You would have complete control of your life, no parents telling you what to do.

Thinking the same almost ruined me when I got out in my twenties. "Wait. You mean I have to make all the decisions now and stop blaming everything on my parents?"

Yup. It gets real, real fast.

“As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.”
― David Sedaris, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

I get what makes it feel sucky at times as a creative professional, husband, and father through more than twenty-five years of adult life after college under my belt.

I learned it’s about more than just screaming "Life sucks!" every time events don't go your way. Paying attention to these three reasons below can help you stay confident while slaying adulting.

1. Life is complicated no matter where you are on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Life is tough no matter what. How much you have or gain doesn't exclude you from the difficulties life throws at you constantly. I know you want more out of it, and for a good reason, but you forget, or perhaps aren't appreciating, everyone isn't in the same place as you.

Even if they were, it wouldn't matter anyway. Hard to hear, perhaps, but taking an honest look at where we are right now can help give you perspective.

Understanding where you are on the hierarchy of needs pyramid can help you know where you're going and give you faith things can improve.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs poster courtesy of playvolutionhq.com.

Let's say you reached the top. Self-actualization is all yours now. All your financial needs are taken care of; you have time to create, have meaningful relationships, and control your daily schedule. Does this mean nothing negative will ever happen to you?

When life is going insanely well, we tend to despise setbacks when they happen, almost as if we've earned the right not to have to deal with them. It's almost as if only the good things should be in our lives because we have it so good.

Consequently, if we're towards the bottom of the pyramid and our basic needs aren't being met, we want to climb up and believe getting more will solve all our problems. Life will be easier when you're at the top but not devoid of tough times.

You'll be in a more balanced place to deal with the poop as it flies at you, but no amount of security, money, or love can stop the truth of life.

Bad things happen to good people. So, accept it, take full responsibility when it all goes sideways and take care of what's necessary to get your life back on track.

The excellent news, hard times can and will get better, even if it doesn't feel that way today.

2. You think successful people are 100% happy

Striving to become a better person is good, and only working your a$$ off to buy a bigger house is not.

Scrolling social media makes you jealous of others and their perceived joyful and prosperous life, and it's never as great as it looks. Still, you want to do more, have more, and be more because you see it's possible.

The people you admire as successful do not have a perfect life, and an ideal life doesn't exist. With all the money and power, the CEO you gawk at could be having marital problems at home or health issues they're hiding from the public.

We're all battling something.

Admiring the success of others is inspiring and can fill you with joy. Put keep your mind in the reality zone. Adulthood should be about striving for the personal success important to you while understanding life can never be perfect.

Are you able to think through everything you have at this moment, good and bad, and still smile? What gives you pleasure, even though the pain?

Everything you work hard for should feel worth the stress and strain. When times are hard for me, I love drawing as an outlet. Opening up a sketchbook and trying my hand at a portrait or a funny animated character helps me smile again.

When you take stock in your achievements and where you still want to go, appreciating what you've already accomplished goes a long way. Gratitude is the key to joy, even if it's only because you understand how important life's basics are.

If you're healthy and able to go for what gets your excitement rising each morning, you have a lot to be thankful for—let that empower you.

“You’ll never see a happy ungrateful person.”

Zig Ziglar

3. You compare yourself to the wrong people.

We're all sold the idea, in America at least, that making it equals big paychecks, lots of sex, and a mansion the size of an art museum. You're not genuinely making it if you're missing these symbols of success.

Not valid for everyone, and it doesn't have to be what you desire either.

Why are you doing all of this? Is it a part of your life purpose, or because you saw someone else doing it and decided it would be cool?

Make specific, thoughtful choices. I decided a long time ago going after vast sums of money wasn't going to be my goal. Life taught me money makes things easier.

I had to understand it's OK to want to make a good salary to take care of basic needs and save for retirement; it took years to accept I enjoy travel and need enough for at least one adventure a year.

Maybe that's not necessary for everyone, but travel matters to me. Seeing the world helps me feel wealthy, and I love learning about other cultures and cities.

What do you need to benefit you, your family, and your overall mental health right now? Write down a list of your needs and wants. Getting serious about what matters to you as an individual, not what you think you "should" desire is a good goal.

Are you in a place mentally to work towards being a self-actualized human being? If you don't know where to go, you can't stay on the right road.

Once you have a list of what you truly want, you can find people who have done what you strive for and learn from their experiences. Read about them, or better yet, talk to them in person if you can.

You will reach your goals if you compare yourself to the right people. The people doing precisely what you aspire to do in your life.

“Don’t you find it odd,” she continued, “that when you’re a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if you even try.”
― Ethan Hawke, The Hottest State

Figure out a way to pursue your dreams

You have roadblocks to your goals. But if you get creative and find a way to go after your dreams, your life will feel loads more fulfilling and enjoyable.

No one said a good life would be easy.

Even doing what you love part-time, or dare I say, as a hobby, can create balance and instant smiles each morning you wake.

Take full responsibility for your life and do what it takes to do what you love. Yes, it may be more challenging if you're a person of color, or suffering an illness, but there are always ways to make things work.

• Take time to plan how to save enough money to give you the freedom to do more of your passions.

• Ask for help from people who can assist you on your journey or give you advice. Or, even better—mentoring.

• Work a job that doesn't take all of your brainpower, and do your passion during your off hours until you can do it full-time.

• Spend more time in groups with people who enjoy what you love. Life is less crappy when you spend it with others.

Permit yourself to love life by structuring it in a way that benefits your interests.

Keep your head in the right place. Not wanting too much all the time and giving thanks for what you have can change your outlook.

“I’ve been very blessed in my personal life and in my career and I have never been ungrateful for what I have.”

Mandy Patinkin

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Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Add More Procrastination to Your Writing Process

How going with the flow can sometimes make things easier.

The author in the middle of the writing process.

Writers know what they want to say and write down their thoughts quickly. Right?

Wrong!

Tonight, I sat down to write a new article with a loose outline and no idea of an exciting story to use as my lead-in.

I procrastinated and read a bunch of articles on Medium, checked social media, and then fell asleep in my recliner.

You read that right. I fell asleep.

Napping with the laptop right on my lap.

Twenty minutes later, I woke up, wiped the drool off my mouth, and read through my outline draft.

An idea finally came to me, so I went with it, researched, and continued writing for another hour.

Not very disciplined, but it was good enough to get the job done this time.

Productivity and being a “good writer” can look different for everyone.

The process isn’t always smooth and can look messy and even lazy. If it works, though, it works.

Relax and do it your way.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

A Keanu Reeves Quote to Remember When Life Rips You to Shreds

Hint: It’s not about becoming a supervillain.

Image courtesy of screenrant.com.

Experiencing ups and downs in your career and relationships can bring you to the point where you wonder if you should even keep trying.

Life's decisions and challenges can be like an action movie of the mind. You're dodging bullet-like events, staying strong through heartbreak and loss, while walking with your head up to keep from falling to the ground from the vertigo of events spinning around in your head.

Do you have to go through the trauma of losing your wife and exacting revenge like John Wick through a shoot-em-up flurry of gun craziness to feel like your issues have merit?

Nope.

The difficulties you face are more powerful than you're giving them credit for each day.

I've lost a sister far too young, a good friend shot and killed by the police, and took chances on jobs and creative pursuits that didn't work out and left me feeling hurt and utterly defeated.

Loss is something I'm very familiar with, but I still find a way to smile.

Friends and family think I'm always a positive, happy guy who can get through anything. I could never understand why. This quote gave me some insight and might help you too.

“If you have been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle to other living beings, then you’re a badass with a heart of an angel.”

-Keanu Reeves

The pandemic and world events have been rocking you back and forth like a ship in a storm. No one is immune to tough times right now. Please know staying a good person through it all is a testament to your strength and character.

Don't let it break you. Or, even worse, make you hate your life.

Turning to alcohol and drugs is a common way to cope. Not ideal for many reasons and a weak way to handle things, but it can make you think you're doing something to get through.

Remembering you're not a lonely action hero is better.

Find a support system of good friends or groups you can visit to talk through your pain and face it head-on. Feel your anger, shame, disappointment, and sadness so you can release it from your being.

As humans, we need a community to feel cared for and help us stay strong together. There's nothing weak about getting help.

When my youngest sister died at twenty-five years old, I was devastated. Fortunately, a friend suggested a men's support group, and I made the time to attend each week, which was transformational.

I learned about the stages of grief and accepted that some days would hurt like hell, while others would feel better, but over time, I would handle the loss with more ease.

My sister's memory is always there; missing her never goes away, but I keep her in my heart.

Joining the support group was something that would have sounded silly to me if a friend hadn't have cared enough to recommend it to me. It kept me from dealing with it all by taking drugs or other self-destructive activities.

A community can stand by your side and help lift you instead of just giving up.

If current world events aren't transforming you into a supervillain, you're pretty darn impressive. Give yourself some credit.

The truth is, as you age, everything gets more complicated. You get more responsibilities, your body breaks down, slows down, and gets tired easier.

You can toughen up, and I've seen so many seemingly weak people do it and grow the thick skin and loving heart needed to take the punches and still care for others as long as you decide in your head to overcome it all.

Owning your badassness can work wonders for your confidence. You can harden yourself on the outside while staying gentle and flexible inside.

When the guns of life are all pointing your way, know you have what it takes to keep being who you are and give the world your unique gifts.

I hope this pep talk helped upgrade your perspective.

Even heroes need a boost now and then. It's time to get out there and make Keanu proud.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

4 Ways Risking Your Life to Be a Teacher Has Its Benefits

Helping others succeed while dodging covid can give you more time to do what you love.

Image courtesy of viralityfacts.com.

Teachers are leaving the profession in such ridiculous droves you would think a ticking time bomb was placed under their desks. The low pay, stress, and fear of catching covid feel like a career in education could blow up in your face.

If you’ve got the guts to stare at possible death in the face while wearing a mask all day, teaching could give you more of what you want out of life. Does this sound crazy? Sure. We’re living in a time where going to work and catching covid could kill you.

Ignoring this fact is unrealistic.

There’s risk everywhere nowadays. If you’re privileged enough to believe everyone can work remotely from home and stay away from other people, you should open your eyes. No matter what variant of covid is going around, everyone needs to pay the bills.

Most workers have to stay afloat by showing up to work on-site, hopefully fully vaccinated. Teaching, like any profession, has its positives and negatives, but if you look at it in the right way, it is still a pretty darn good job.

It’s time we diffuse the bomb and take another look at why teaching is the most remarkable career in these uncertain times.

1. You give a lot but get so much more in return

Imagine a job where you get to help young people learn new skills and information that will prepare them for their future. I bet, if you’re not a teacher, that doesn’t sound all that great at first. Maybe something for a kind friend you have who’s always volunteering their time to others, but not you.

Watching someone grow into a more intelligent, mature, and confident individual is more fulfilling than you might realize. I didn’t even know how fulfilling it could be at first.

I loved drawing comics and dreamed of becoming a famous cartoonist when I was a kid. My mother was a teacher, and there was no way I would become a teacher too. In my mind, teaching would mean I failed as an artist.

No thanks.

After graduating from college with a degree in graphic design, I began freelancing with a portfolio more tailored towards illustration. Finding a full-time illustration job didn’t work out, and I fell into teaching art in elementary school.

I knew I would hate it and expected it to suck—the magic of sharing my skills with kids and seeing them grow as artists were infectious. I fell in love with teaching.

My students said thank you to me regularly, and I felt like teaching gave back so much more than entertaining people with my illustrations and comics ever could.

It’s true. If you want to make a difference in the world—teach.

2. Low pay but more time off to do what you love

Here’s the thing, according to a recent study by the RAND Corporation, nearly one out of four teachers in the U.S. considered leaving their job by the end of the school year because of work-related stress and low pay.

Teaching ain’t easy these days.

If you can put your heart into your work by giving more focus to how you’re helping students, you may stay in the profession longer. One way to balance out the hard work is with generous vacation time.

Time for your hobbies and side hustles. With two weeks off during the holidays, a week at spring break, and two months off in the summer, not to mention every other major holiday, you can make time for doing your hobbies.

In essence, you’re getting paid for an entire year but only working full-time for nine months.

One part of teaching that shocks me to this day is how exhausted I am when these vacations come around—like borderline burnt out. Of course, the level of depletion you experience depends on where you’re teaching and what you go through each day. In some situations, school systems, student bodies, and faculty can be better or worse than others.

Teaching can truly take it out of you, but if you have something creative you love to do, it can give you the time to work on your projects. Not just during time off, but each working day. You are the one running your classes and deciding when to grade or plan outside of instructional hours, so your personal time is flexible.

Maybe you have a principal peeking over your shoulder every minute, but I doubt it. Most likely, though, teaching feels more like running your own business. There are always requirements to meet and people to please, but you can make the most of your time the way you choose.

Even when the days are tough, teachers are creative and can lighten the mood to keep everyone sane with a bit of insanity.

Image courtesy of viralityfacts.com.

3. Teachers can leave the profession and come back

There’s no corporate ladder, so you can do something else and return to teaching in your exact position. In fact, the experience you’ll bring with you from your other career could enhance what you teach your students. You might have to move to a new school or district, but that could help you negotiate a higher salary.

If you’re looking to transition into another field, you have time to study or build a business while teaching. The schedule is predictable, so you can efficiently plan and use your off time.

I spent three years freelance writing in my off time and then took a copywriting job with a tech company in silicon valley.

At that time, I was ready for a new challenge. I felt the need to grow as a writer and learn new skills, so I made a move, knowing full well I could go back to teaching if necessary.

The pandemic hit almost two years later, and BAM, I lost my job—going back to education was a lifesaver.

I could bring what I learned in the corporate world and, along with teaching art, help by working with communications and marketing of the school. It’s a blast combining my love of the arts and storytelling with writing and sharing content.

After several more years, who knows, perhaps work writing or drawing opportunities may come up. I could leap again to help grow and learn new skills, knowing I have years of experience in education to fall back on.

Even though the trend nowadays seems to be either quitting your job or working for only a year, I like staying for 2–3 years if possible. You learn the ropes and have more time for deeper connections with coworkers and students.

Teaching at a school isn’t the only way to be an educator, though.

4. Teachers can work everywhere

You can teach in a classroom at a school if that’s your goal, but there are plenty of opportunities online. Remote learning is enormous and most likely here to stay. Many professionals will take courses remotely via zoom, and schools need people who understand designing and building a curriculum.

If you want to go corporate, companies need teachers to help train new employees. Even in sales, having experience speaking in front of a group and clearly explaining the benefits of products is not something everyone can do well. Teaching experience gives you advantages.

As we get a better hold on the pandemic, more jobs will open teaching overseas where you can experience another country and culture. I lived in Japan teaching English for two years and absolutely loved my time there.

Getting a chance to live in such a beautiful country, learn the language, and even meet my wife made me appreciate the doors a teaching career can open for you.

If you look at your career in education as an excellent way to learn new skills and grow as a person, you can move into just about any job. The issue right now is with staying healthy and avoiding getting covid.

Comparing your career to an adventure may sound extreme, but in a lot of ways, it’s true. You have to be ready for the twists and turns but stay open to where it can take you, and I say it’s worth the risks.

If you’re a teacher who sees the benefits of your profession, take hold of the possibilities and explore your options. You’re in demand. Maybe you’re someone who enjoys helping others and can transition into a career in education. I say go for it.

Where will you decide to teach next?

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

The Life Advice I Nearly Died to Learn

It’s about more than feeling grateful to be alive.

Photo by Thomas Le on Unsplash

This article isn’t just about how precious life is—you know that already.

Going through the experience I’m about to tell you that happened because of my own lousy judgment helped me discover how to look at life and might help you too.

Here’s what started me down this road.

One late evening many years ago, after working all day, I needed to drive five hours south to visit family in Atlanta, Georgia. I was tired, exhausted even. When I look back on it, I know I shouldn’t have been driving a long distance, but I did it anyway.

It was close to midnight, driving down the highway, and I started to dose off. I wasn’t worried, though. Driving long distances is my thing. My confidence in the ability to stay awake, stay focused on the road, and make it to my destination was unshakable.

Until I fell asleep, and my car swerved to the left and hit the median.

My car spun to the right, across every lane of the highway. While spinning, my mind did exactly what I’ve heard other people explain. Time slowed down.

I was in shock, and my car was spinning. I thought another vehicle, or worse, a truck, would run into me. I figured this was it, and I would die. But I didn’t. My car slid down into a shallow ditch on the right side of the highway. I sat there frozen, staring out the window as my mind slowly crept out of the fog of shock covering me.

“I’m alive.” I thought to myself over and over again.

As a Black man sitting in the middle of nowhere Georgia late at night, I was afraid to stay there or even call the cops. Getting the car back on the road was the only option. My engine was still running, so I put it in drive and tried rolling out of the ditch.

The car moved up a little, but my ancient Honda Civic barely had enough power to get up the hill. I floored the gas pedal, and thankfully my prayers were answered as it moved up and back onto the highway.

Not taking any chances, I rolled down my windows, cranked up the radio, and drove the last hour and a half into Atlanta. The scrape on the left side of my car from hitting the median was a small price to pay for keeping my life.

During that ride post-accident, yes, I was grateful to be alive and pissed at myself for driving drowsy. But I realized something.

If things were just a little different, I’d be dead. The truth is, bad things happen and will continue to happen. We must all choose what seemingly bad events mean to us.

Accepting that it’s my responsibility to decide how to think about every event in my life is a privilege I will gladly take on. What I went through sucked, but what I learned from it is powerful.

We can make life better or worse—starting with how we want to see it.

I could have spent the entire ride punching myself in the face for not waiting until the next day, after a good night’s sleep, to drive to Atlanta. My deliberate choice was to focus on the fact that I got myself out of the ditch and back on the road.

Could I have fallen asleep again? Sure. But I decided to push through and reach my destination by ensuring I couldn’t fall asleep again. And you know what? I have never driven long distances at night while tired again. That was my choice. I learned from my mistake.

What if you feel there are no choices in life for you?

Change your perspective, and change your life

The first perspective upgrade to make is recognizing you have the power to think differently about yourself and your situation in life. You don’t have to almost die to understand how powerful changing your thinking about something can be.

I’m a big fan of accepting situations for what they are and then deciding to move forward. Going through an accident where I could have died or have been seriously injured, but didn’t, could have been all I needed to decide never to drive again. Like god was telling me, I don’t belong behind the wheel.

Of course, that’s not true. If everyone stopped driving after getting in one accident, far fewer cars would be on the road. It would be best if you built up resilience to tough times and difficult situations so you can get back in the game after hardships.

I decided to give thanks for coming out of the accident safely and understanding I must be more careful while driving. The lesson I learned helped shape me into a better driver and taught me; even small things can make a huge difference.

When you can make your mistakes into lessons and difficulties into opportunities, you can conquer anything.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” -Maya Angelou

Change your thinking now. Don’t wait.

You don’t need to risk your life to appreciate how much good you can give to the world. All you have to do is make a choice. Choose now.

Upgrading your perspective is easier than you think. Here are several ways to do it without nearly dying.

• Take a step back to see the bigger picture. Soar above your life and look at it from above to get a broader perspective. What can you change?

• Focus on what you have rather than what you’re missing.

• Practice gratitude. Even the smallest blessings are worth your attention.

• Try out new things. Stretch yourself with new hobbies or activities. You’ll be forced to open your mind and see life anew.

If something like an accident or health-scare hasn’t happened to you yet, it most likely will. I know that’s morbid to think about, and I apologize. But, staring at death in the face gives you the proper perspective on life. You will discover what truly matters if you haven’t figured it out already.

Fortunately, you don’t have to go through hell to get to an epiphany about life. You can choose to make a change right now.

The power is all yours. Upgrade your perspective and choose the life you desire.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

3 Ways the New Dune Movie Hit Differently From the Book

Even in the future, white people reign supreme

Image created by PopCultArt on Pinterest.

Warning: Dune spoilers ahead.

Why is the chosen one always a white guy?

This thought never entered my mind when I took on the challenge of reading Frank Herbert's mega-sized “Dune” novel.

For years, I wanted to read the book and pushed it away, thinking it would be full of complicated details, songs, and descriptions similar to "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy—which I also haven't read.

Early previews of the new Dune movie directed by Denis Villeneuve looked pretty darn sweet, so I was compelled to grab a paperback brick version of the book.

The story was a slow mover initially, but it came to life when the Atreides family got to the planet of Arrakis, and we learned more about the Fremen and sacred sandworms. As the main character, Paul Atreides, bobs and weaves his way into becoming Maud Dib—a messiah, I was excited for him with the help of his mother, Lady Jessica.

You learn to respect the Fremen of Arrakis in the book and their ways and also understand how a fifteen-year-old ex-pat from another planet could end up taking charge.

Sure, the book's comparisons to the Middle East with battles over their version of oil, melange (spice), is clear. Even as a Black man, casting people of color in the live-action movie surprised me.

The new film was gorgeous but didn't feel how I hoped it would for several reasons.

1. I didn't visualize Black characters in the book, but they were in the movie

Dune the book felt more like a story of a family from planet Caladan coming in like a fish out of water and eventually melting in with the people and culture of planet Arrakis. The idea that the Atreides family is white and the Fremen are Black and brown crossed my mind but didn't linger.

You would assume people who live in the heat of the desert would be brown skin from the sun, and maybe because I'm a Black man, I just saw all the characters as brown or pale white in my head. No one felt Black to me.

Is this just a case of, now that the characters are on screen, I can see how multicultural they are? Not really. Plenty of thought and work goes into choosing a cast of characters in films.

On the one hand, I appreciate the representation of Black actors. Still, on the other, I'm angry the people of color are the ones causing trouble and getting murdered throughout the movie.

Not only Black actors. A double-crossing Asian male character is killed early on. Then a black woman, culminating with, and this one got me, Paul, fighting a Black Fremen in a duel to the death and wins.

Yeah, Paul's been training in his Caladan martial art for years but come on! Does this spoiled son of royalty really have what it takes to go toe-to-toe with a hardened Fremen who survived growing up wild in the desert?

When I read this scene in the book, it made sense. Seeing it on screen stretched my imagination and patience a bit too thin. The feeling I got inside that the casting agents were doing all they could to hire people of color in roles where they knew they could get killed truly irked me.

It is similar to the joke about how Black characters in action and horror movies die first—and they do, time and time again. The new Dune movie was unapologetically dismissive of its cast of color.

2. The chosen one narrative felt like a fact in the movie and not a maybe

In the book, it feels more like a messiah figure is planted in the minds of the Fremen by agents of the Bene Gesserit. I loved the idea that this sort of belief is manufactured and questions our history with divine leaders.

The Fremen believe Paul is the chosen one because they were led to it by storytellers over many years planting ideas in the minds of the Fremen people. If you hadn't read the books, this idea would fly right past you when it's hinted at in the movie.

No ifs, ands, or buts, about it, most viewers watching will assume Paul is the chosen one. If they haven't read the book, they'll miss one of the most intriguing parts of the story.

Is there a true messiah, or is he a creation in a larger plan by outside forces?

Let's hope they bring this back in part two of the movie and challenge his chosen one status. You rarely see this idea in scifi and have to accept the white guy as the divine right ruler of them all—like in The Matrix and Star Wars franchises.

Breaking that tradition in the new Dune movies would not only be more exciting to watch but leave viewers pondering how much is true about what we're led to believe in our culture and society.

In essence, a much more exciting take on the science fiction genre.

3. Pale skin characters were the most cruel villains

How evil house Harkonnen plots to destroy the Atreides, and their hold on the Arrakis spice trade is pretty nasty, but when reading the book, I didn't see them all as white, pale-skinned punk rockers.

The overweight floating Baron was described as someone who could be a white dude in the book, but the Harkonnens were all a pasty mess in the movie.

Was the plan to make it look like the paler you are, the more evil you become? I can't entirely agree with that idea, but I sure got that impression in the movie version.

Their home planet was all dark and rainy. No wonder the Harkonnen are so pissed all the time.

You can understand how visual contrast comes into play here. When you see the warm browns and beige colors of the land and desert people of Arrakis up against the pale evils of the Harkonnen, it makes an impression.

In the book, you get to read their clever plans and how smart Harkonnens are at manipulation. You understand theirs much more to them than pale skin and an insatiable lust for power.

To conclude

Even with all the issues I had with the movie version, I still enjoyed it. The cinematography was gorgeous, and the story felt faithful to the book. The tempo was a little slow at times, almost meditative. Let's hope they'll pick up the pace in part two, so events move faster and hit harder.

You always have to be careful when visual representation is added to anything written. I've experienced this as an artist and illustrator. Working with clients, you get a different reaction when the idea on paper becomes a drawing or painting.

The positive part of the process is making edits and changes to the look and design of visual elements once you see them. You learn very few details are mistakes. Someone has to see it and make a decision to keep it that way.

In a movie as meticulously designed and planned out as the new Dune is, I'm disappointed no one caught the apparent issues of hierarchy set up by race and color. You get the sense that even far in the future, in a star system light-years away, white people are more regal and of higher status than people of color.

Perhaps in Dune part two, they will choose to do a better job of representation, but I doubt it. White males enjoy being seen as the undisputed champions and have the privilege to continue sharing that narrative in film. It’s not stopping anytime soon.

Denis Villeneuve is a talented director, but he's no messiah.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

An Open Letter to The Blogger Who Signs Off With "I Love You"

Isn't that presumptuous, or is it just me?

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Dear Crossing The Line Blogger,

You continually write "I love you" in the sign-off of your articles like you're my lover. When I read it, it makes my insides shudder. Not in a good way, mind you. In the way, that feels like someone is coming on too strong, and I want them to back off.

I appreciate your kindness and would like a little more space between us. How about you only share your life-changing information? I get my one takeaway and can then move on in peace.

Stop acting like we have something special together. I don't know you like that. You may say you love me, but I have a hunch you don't even know how true love feels.

Here’s a sample of the end of one of your articles:

“The life you choose is the life you get. If you want new experiences, it’s your job to go after them. Take a risk, and live the good life you’ve been dreaming about.

I love you,

Jack”

Stop coming on so strong. If you think I'm smiling and feeling special because you get to confess your love each week in your articles, you're wrong.

Have you thought about how this might make your readers feel? I mean, really feel? Maybe you think you're a wonderful person who genuinely cares for others and would never do them harm, but I don’t know you.

How do I know what kind of person you truly are when you log off of your computer? You could be treating your real loved ones like dirt while telling me I'm in your love circle.

Here's a frightening thought, you could be an abuser. Your love for everyone could be crossing so far over the line, you’re saying it to every person you meet at all times.

If you're finishing at the checkout at the grocery store, for example, and the clerk gives your change, then you whisper, "I love you." Wouldn’t that be crazy?

Control yourself.

What? Am I presuming too much? I don't know you after all. Maybe you're a good person with a kind heart. You want me to know someone out there loves me. Well, I'm getting plenty of love, buddy. I don't need your empty words.

I have no desire to get love from someone who probably gets off the bus, turns around slowly, focuses their dreamy eyes on the driver, and says, "I love you." The pride you feel for making the bus driver’s day gives you a pep in your step. So much so, you catch the eye of others on the street walking by, and they can't help but say "Good morning" in response to your positive energy.

What do you say in return? "I love you," of course, and scares the heck out of them.

Are you that person who goes out with their coworkers after hours, gets drunk, and yells, "I love you?" while falling all over them at the bar? They tolerate you until you barf on Tim from accounting’s shoes.

Consumed with shame, you look up at him, with those inebriated puppy dog eyes, and exclaim, "I love you, man!"

I think it might be time to hit the unsubscribe button.

Letting you know how uncomfortable your sign-off of love feels is pretty hard, but maybe it will help you make different decisions in the future. Think about it. Saying you love me and all of your readers takes away from the power of showing it through your advice and the value you provide.

Like the phrase, "show, don't tell.” And in this case, you should definitely stop telling. Your love should already be present in the type of articles you write.

Stop ruining the vibe.

If you're always saying it, I know readers will think you're not genuine and cancel you. Like I'm about to do.

My days of dealing with discomfort because of your poor choice of words are over. Even though I’ve never met you in person, I can tell you need help. I’m good at noticing these types of things. If you learned something, I hope you’ll change how you talk to your followers.

Goodbye.

Oh, and I love you (see how cringy it feels?),

A disgusted reader

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

What You Could Be Missing About Writing on Medium

It's more than making money

Writers keep saying Medium is dying. It's not like it used to be and will never return. If you can't make good money here, why stick around?

I've been on Medium off and on for five years now, and I wish I were more active here a few years ago. You know, when writers were bringing in the big bucks. About a year ago, I started posting regularly, and I've seen slight growth in my earnings but nothing over $100 yet.

My stats have plummeted, like a lot of writers here, and I can't seem to get the attention I had even six months ago.

I'm still staying on the platform and putting time into writing on Medium.

Here are a few reasons why.

You can write whatever you like

Writing on Medium is the perfect place to sharpen your skills. Think about it. You can choose to share, teach, and tell stories about anything.

I love that I can bring up a topic I'm interested in and give my take on it. And for the most part, people will read.

Sure, it's tempting to get excited about possibly making thousands of dollars on the platform, but we should focus on what's important—improving as writers and having fun at the same time.

Medium will keep making changes

Another day, another change on Medium. Get used to it and keep writing. We can get as upset or excited as we want, but the fact is, the platform is growing and needs to adjust.

Sometimes it will work in our favor, and sometimes it won't. We can't change the fact that Medium is a business and will frequently make decisions that seem cold.

Your articles don't have to become cold, though. When you have fun writing, readers will notice. They'll also appreciate your honest, positive words as they try to navigate not only Medium but this crazy world in which we live.

Flow with the changes and continue to rise above with writing that's creative and authentically you, and watch your work last for years—no matter where you write.

Your pay will fluctuate

Depending on Medium earnings to pay your bills is a tough road. If you can position yourself with multiple streams of income from other jobs or platforms, do it.

You can't predict if your articles will generate a ton of money each month or not. Looking at your stats every 30 minutes isn't going to make them go up. Consistently producing good work every week is the main road to improving and attracting attention.

Stats won't matter as much if you do not depend on Medium for money.

It's easier to deal with the lean times when you have many different areas where your pay comes from. Try using Convertkit to start an email list. I've had one for my comics for many years but just started adding articles and advice to my newsletters. It's fun, and new people are subscribing.

My goal is to build up loyal readers who feel they receive value from my work, and I can reach out to them when I have new books or courses ready to release. A.K.A., a built-in audience.

You can make more money from freelancing

I bet my blog writing skills would snowball if I went after freelance clients. When I did this in the past, it was enjoyable to work on different projects and learn about companies to write for them. Enjoyable but with very little freedom.

The fact that I can choose a topic that interests me on Medium—not based on what a client decides—and put my spin and style on it is magnificent. I can even add illustrations I created, like in this article.

If I want to make more money, I can go back to freelancing.

Or take on a few assignments on Upwork or through LinkedIn for several months and then stop. All the while, I'm writing on Medium to get better at honing my voice and writing style.

Most of all, I'm having fun.

In conclusion

Write on Medium for the experience and pure joy of sharing what you love. When you start craving more money, start freelancing for a while to help keep your passion for Medium alive.

Decide what you're writing for and base your daily writing habit around that idea. Right now, I'm all about getting better and finding my voice. There are several topics I love writing about, but I'm looking forward to discovering more.

Article writing is helping me get to know myself and my writing voice. I'm grateful to Medium for giving me that opportunity. And, I get to make a little extra money too.

Not a bad deal at all if you ask me.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

4 Reasons Your Hobby Should Not Become Your Business

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t have to be your side-hustle.

Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash

Let’s imagine you’re exhausted and up late working on an important personal project. The one that, once it’s out in the world, will put you on the map and attract attention. With some luck and a little bit of success, your dream of quitting your day job could come true.

Then what? You get to do that every day, all day? Is this really the future you’re hoping for?

Why can’t this be something you do for fun?

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t mean it has to become your job.

I know that’s counter-intuitive to what everyone’s touting online today, but it’s true. Your hobby shouldn’t always become your business.

I’m sure you’re good at many things. It doesn’t mean you have to turn them all into side-hustles that turn into big-time companies.

Unfortunately, I’ve learned this the hard way. My love for drawing comics and writing has led me to pursue making money from them as a side-hustle. It’s not as fun as it’s cracked up to be. Between deadlines, prospecting for clients, and balancing my work and projects with family responsibilities.

We live in a time now, with the internet giving us opportunities to easily share work with the world, where people think you should “Do what you love, and the money will follow.”

We all feel like we’re missing out if we don’t have a passion and pursue it for profit.

Contrary to popular belief, making money with what you love is hard. Does it have to be your goal? Here are four reasons why you might not want to turn your hobby into a business.

1. Hobbies should be fun

Why do you love doing your hobby? If it brings you a sense of joy, for example, isn’t that enough?

If all of your needs are being met by your day job, perhaps adding on more work to make your hobby into a business isn’t worth the extra stress and commitments.

Your hobby should be — and stay — enjoyable. Something you look forward to escaping into and forgetting about the outside world.

I remember my grandfather had several hobbies. He enjoyed making the most delicious fudge and giving it as gifts to family and friends. Should he have opened up a business selling fudge out of his kitchen? Not necessarily.

I doubt he enjoyed it enough to add on all the extra responsibilities involved with a bakery business.

He mainly wanted something fun and fulfilling to do in his leisure time. Making fudge brightened his days and added a little sweetness to others. For him, that was enough.

Knowing you can go deep into something at your own pace, where you think clearly and feel at ease, is a blessing. Don’t complicate it.

“I can elect something I love and absorb myself in it.”
― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931–1934

2. Making it a business turns it into work

We don’t always know if what we love to do will be something we enjoy doing full-time. It takes experience, yes, but also honesty. Do you love your hobby so much that you wouldn’t mind regularly dealing with the business's complex, tedious, boring parts?

If you want to turn your hobby into a business, it will become work.

Drawing comics full-time has been a goal of mine since I was a kid. Even though I know it’s one of the most challenging forms of art to make good money in, I still go after it. I’ve had to take on other jobs to pay the bills when comics weren’t bringing in enough, and most of the time, comics would become my side-hustle.

Becoming a professional at anything means learning to work even when you’re not in the mood.

I learned to do that by making comics and pushing through the “resistance” in my head when it would try and hold me back from not only getting art done but taking care of more administrative tasks.

Now, I know I can be a professional comic artist because I like the day-to-day work involved. I haven’t reached my full-time goal yet, but I’ve had years of freelance experience to get a good idea of what it would feel like.

When you put your hobby to the test, by intentionally treating it like a business, you’ll be able to feel whether or not it’s something you could do as your job.

I get it. You might need a side-hustle right now. It could be that a side income is vital to save money or pay for outstanding bills. Does your hobby have to be the way you make that money, though?

There’s nothing wrong with getting a part-time job in retail or driving for Lyft for a certain amount of time — think seasonal work — to save up enough for you to get back into a good place.

Do anything you can to keep your hobby as an outlet and a source of release.

3. Should you monetize your obsession?

People can get way too into their hobbies. Like collecting memorabilia or toys, for example. Nothing wrong with those hobbies, but I’ve seen friends lose their minds over a piece of plastic. If you’re obsessed with a hobby, can you think straight enough to make it a business?

Will you identify all of yourself as that hobby if you make it a business and carry unrealistic expectations on your shoulders? For example, “I’m a writer now, so I must write every day for five hours, or I’m a failure.”

Sometimes we love a hobby so much; it becomes an obsession. If you can’t stop painting portraits of politicians to make a statement, and no one can give you feedback or suggestions on how to grow because you refuse to listen. Maybe this shouldn’t be your business.

You need to be open to pivot and take on new ideas when things aren’t succeeding for a business to work. If you can only do things your way because this hobby is everything to you, it should probably stay a hobby.

“Whatever you like to do, make it a hobby and whatever the world likes to do, make it a business.”
-Warren Buffett

4. Be selfish when it comes to your hobby

Keep something just for you. You don’t even need to share what you make or create with anyone. Let your hobby remain an outlet for life’s frustrations and hide it for yourself. If you need to share it with someone who has more experience and gives you feedback, great.

I bet there are plenty of creative people who work professionally and never show it to anyone. That way, it’s for themselves. Or, they keep it for their family and friends. If one of those people wants to buy from them or support the work, they can.

A few years ago, I was learning to play the ukulele. I wanted to do it for fun with no expectations of performing live in front of strangers. It would be a relaxing hobby I didn't need to press myself to do professionally, like drawing comics.

I spent about two years practicing chords and learning songs on the uke. Having a hobby only for the fun of it was terrific. The only problem, music takes a regular committed effort to improve. Balancing work, drawing comics, and being a family man proved to be too much.

It hurt, but I had to stop playing the ukulele. I went from practicing every day to a few days a week, to only once a month. All of my time went into improving as an artist and not a musician.

Facing the hard truth—I didn’t have time for a musical hobby—was tough to face. But, I accepted it and put down the uke. Who knows, I hope to have time to get back to playing it again in the future when I have more time for myself.

Drawing in my sketchbook is purely for fun now. I don’t have to share my scribbles with anyone if I don't want to, and the practice makes me a better artist for the comics I share with the public. Hobbies can have a private and a public side if it helps keep you growing and feeling balanced.

In conclusion

All hobbies are not good businesses. Just about anything can be made into one, but you have to be honest with yourself about what you can handle.

Find a nice balance of interest in the subject matter, love of the creation process, and detachment from the perfection of the final result.

When you can look at your work objectively, share it with others, take criticism, make changes, and still enjoy what you’re doing. It might be the proper pursuit for you.

Try and keep these points in mind when deciding if your hobby should become a side-hustle:

• Hobbies should be for fun. If yours is mainly for fun and a way to relax and unwind, don’t make it a side-hustle.

• Making your hobby into a business turns it into work. Are you ready to deal with the not-so-fun parts of running a company connected to what you love?

• Don’t try and make money from your obsession. If you can’t even think straight while doing what you love because you’re so engrossed by it, maybe it should stay a hobby. It would be best if you could be objective about your work to grow it as a business.

• Keep your hobby to yourself if you choose. You don’t have to share it with anybody. Remember, I didn’t play the ukulele for people I didn’t know. It was my private hobby. One I’m looking forward to getting back to soon.

Make time for your hobbies in your leisure time to stay balanced and recharge. Let your interests become your job or side-hustle when you need one.

That way, you can enjoy what you do for a living and still have energy for your passions.

Struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly? Join my (free) email list and discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

7 Average Words to Help You Discover Above Average Ideas

Illustrated by Khalid Birdsong.

Are your ideas all dried up? Maybe you’re feeling like someone who can’t come up with anything exceptional anymore. Looking for new ways to express yourself and breakthrough a creative slump?

I’ve been there. More often than I’d like to admit.

As a teacher, writer, and cartoonist, I’m always in need of ideas, not only to start creating something new but to enhance what I’m already working on.

Let’s imagine we climbed the mountain of the creative block together. As we reach the top, standing majestically in front of us is a massive rock. On it are inscribed seven words. Words to get you out of your creative rut.

Reading each word given to us by the divine universe of ideas, I agree to interpret how to apply each one to your life. When you feel lost or blocked creatively, just think of one of these and then take action.

1. Challenge

The first word we see on the list is one of the most powerful. You must make sure what you’re working on has an element of challenge, or you won’t rise to meet it. If what you’re creating is too easy or in the middle of your comfort zone, up the stakes.

Perhaps you have a new skill to learn. Incorporate it into your process or a new way of doing something you’ve mastered. Taking a risk by learning a new style or way of creating can force you to think creatively in new ways.

This could be as simple as choosing a topic for an article on something you know very little about. You’ll need to research and find an interesting angle to take. Writing in the voice and tone of a novelist you admire could also push new ideas out of you.

If you’re very good at writing, try learning a new musical instrument and practicing it during your writing breaks. When you feel that uncertainty bubbling up inside, that means you’re on the right track.

2. Variety

Are you always reading the same genre of books? Watching the same TV shows? Add some variety to your life, and you’ll become inundated with fresh new ideas.

We become comfortable with our choices and could use something new and different to shake it up.

“Sameness is the mother of disgust, variety the cure.”

Petrarch

If remembering to consume something different is hard, try inputting a reminder to the calendar on your phone. Or, put a sticky note near your laptop that reads, “Watch a TV show you think you’ll hate.”

Read articles with opinions different than yours. Going in to understand why people enjoy or believe this could help your mind come up with ideas for characters or a new project to pursue.

3. Habit

When you make doing your creative work into a daily habit, creativity will walk in and join you.

How do you make something a habit? Write down a plan of what you would like to get done in a day and what order. Make sure to follow that plan for two straight weeks. Boom! You’ve got a habit.

If you plan to get up an hour earlier to create every morning, decide what time, set your alarm, and put it on the other side of the room. That way, you must get up out of bed to turn it off.

Your mind and body will expect the routine and look forward to making your newly established habit. When you sit down to create when you always do, your mind would have been formulating ideas in your off-hours, anticipating this regular creative release slot in your day.

4. Awe

Experience or observe something that fills you with awe.

Look at a beautiful painting. Watch a musician playing a solo on the instrument; they put their heart and soul into learning. Visit natural wonders like the Grand Canyon or something closer like your local park.

Appreciating the beauty of nature will help you see this world with open eyes and give your mind new ideas.

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”

Albert Einstein

5. Walks

Humans have been walking since the beginning of, well, humanity. Yes, because that’s how we get around. But also to help us think clearly. Even come up with new ideas we can’t wait to write or create.

Before going out for a walk, ask yourself a specific question or fill your head with content from many different sources. Then, let it all simmer together as you move your feet.

Inspiration will hit.

Make sure to bring a small notepad or your cell phone to jot down any ideas that pop into your head. You’d be amazed what a little fresh air, sunlight, and physical movement can do for your creative thinking.

6. Opposites

When you see this word carved on the majestic stone, it might perplex you. How can thinking of opposites help with creative ideas?

Moving in the opposite direction for an idea creates tension and can shake out good ideas. I learned this from writing humor for comic strips. If I were having trouble coming up with a funny gag, I’d think of the opposite way that situation could look.

For example, what if I have a character in my story who’s a husband that hates taking out the garbage. Maybe this time, he decides not to take it to the bin outside and hides the overstuffed garbage bag in the house somewhere.

It sounds pretty gross, but my imagination is starting to light up with scenarios where the husband is trying to convince his wife there’s no foul smell coming from the closet. It’s still a funky idea, but my mind wants to make it work.

Maybe he tried to hide the garbage last week, and his wife comments on it when he refuses to take it out this time. “Remember, honey; we don’t wear the garbage, so keep it out of our closet.”

When you need new ideas, try thinking of the opposites of something you know well or of a popular opinion, and see where it takes you.

7. Practice

The final word on the stone makes sense to you and seems so simple. Taking time to practice the fundamentals of your creative pursuit daily does wonders for improving your skill and idea generation. Start with an exercise that gets you in the mood for creativity.

I like sketching people I see while out and about, writing 10 ideas a day, journal writing, practicing playing scales on a piano. Freewriting.

Anything that doesn’t take a lot of thought but makes you feel something, giving your mind a chance to wander as well. Something cathartic, if you will.

Once your mind is active in one way, from practicing your art fundamentals, but still has space to search for new ideas, you’ll have an easier time getting inspired.

In conclusion

As we walk down the mountain, we’re full of inspiration from the straightforward yet powerful words carved on the stone.

We see the truth now. Creativity is not magic. You can help your mind mold and shape fresh new ideas through normal activities and just a little bit of open-minded thinking.

Now, accept this wisdom and go out and become the extraordinary creative person you were meant to be.

What Losing a Writing Job in Tech Taught me About Impostor Syndrome

You are who you decide to be.

Photo by ABDULLA M on Unsplash

Three years of freelance writing on the side while teaching full-time finally got me noticed by recruiters and hired as a copywriter for a major tech company in silicon valley. I was considered a contractor, though, not a salaried employee.

And it was only for three months — with a possibility of extension.

I’m embarrassed to admit; this messed with my self-worth and confidence as a writer. Even though I’ve been out in the world of work for over twenty years, my positions have either been as a salaried teacher or freelancer.

Being a contractor felt like a weird in-between. You do the job with hours just like salaried coworkers, but you don’t get paid time off or health benefits. Everyone is so excited about that three-day weekend coming up, and you’re thinking about how it’s one more day of less pay.

Even though you’re working just as hard.

I will say I enjoyed the fancy office space and the nice laptop they provided. The free coffee from the latte machines was convenient and delicious. Lunch wasn’t free where I worked, but you got a full meal for cheap each day plus dessert.

Yes, I gained a little weight during my first few months.

Writing in a cubicle at a desk that raises and lowers at a push of a button was glorious. I loved the flexibility of either writing while standing and then lowering the desk to sit whenever I wanted. These small perks were good.

Maybe too good?

As a contractor surrounded by people who seemed to have more experience, stability, and confidence in their jobs, I realize that I had a serious case of impostor syndrome.

Impostor syndrome-

People who struggle with impostor syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think — and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them.

Facing reality

There I was, finally getting an opportunity to work as a writer all day, every day, and get paid more than my teaching salary. I was concerned about what my position said about me as a person and a professional.

I could get in the door, but not in all the way.

Fortunately, I did a good enough job to add three more months to my contract, then six more after that. Once a year was up, I wasn’t offered a salaried position as I’d hoped.

Another hit to my ego.

The work I was doing was good enough to keep me there but not enough to bring me on fully, I suppose. I stayed there, got another six months added to my contract, but the company could only keep me legally for a year and a half in total.

I’m sure this kind of thing happens all the time with contract work, but it felt like I wasn’t good enough. I felt like an impostor.

Thoughts of not possessing enough talent to be a legitimate part of the team flowed through my mind constantly. In other words, impostor syndrome hit like a ton of bricks.

Until a friend helped me look at it differently.

Every job is temporary

A friend of mine who works in tech came to visit at the time for lunch. I discussed not getting hired for a salaried position and these feelings of inadequacy plaguing my confidence.

How come I can only stay a contractor? He stopped me abruptly and shared the truth.

In silicon valley, everyone’s a temp.

Even people who seem secure in their position can be let go tomorrow. Sure, it could be because of poor performance, but internal changes and just bad timing can come into play.

I was accustomed to the world of education, where you normally can stay on the job at least through the academic school year. Getting fired in the middle of February, for example, rarely happens. Unless you’ve done something crazy, I could count on staying employed between August and June every year.

In the corporate world, you never know when you could be let go. Even if you’re a superstar. Things happen. In fact, I saw other hard-working contractors get let go at the end of their contracts before me.

I understood that appreciating the skills I learned and the people I met on the job was most important. Not whether or not I stay for many years.

Besides, I noticed a lot of people change jobs every year or two now. They learn what they can, make connections, and move on.

That’s okay. As long as you know and respect who you are inside, you can succeed anywhere.

Knowing it could end at any time is the reality for everyone.

Save your money and prepare for the worst. Enjoy the experience and learn all you can in the meantime.

I had to stop equating hard work with stability or guaranteed success.

They’re not necessarily connected. Just because you work hard doesn’t mean you’ll always succeed in everything. You’ll definitely have better chances for it, but life doesn’t always work that way.

When the pandemic hit, we were all sent to work from home, and my department announced a hiring freeze. The writing was on the wall.

I wasn’t going to get hired on “permanently,” and when my contract was up, I’d have to say goodbye.

I required a new mindset to move away from the idea that I was never a good enough writer for the position.

Only you can decide you’re a writer

I’ve been writing comic books and comic strips since I was a kid. It never felt like “real writing.” You know, the kind novelists or journalists do. Learning how to write to get people to take action, copywriting opened my eyes to writing being more broad and open than I once thought.

Maybe I am a writer after all. I thought getting paid to write full-time would finally bring that home. It helped, but I still had to repeat in my head, “I’m a real writer” to accept it fully.

Only you can decide you’re a writer. Once you do, you’ll see writing can look many different ways.

Creating emails and promotional copy is just as much “real writing” as prose. I see that now. The truth is, I enjoyed writing in a corporate setting much more than I thought I would.

I spent some time at my desk each day, focused on writing and editing copy, and then met to discuss strategy with my team members. I was a writer then, and I’m still a writer now working on this article.

As long as I choose to be.

Final thoughts

I might have lost the writing job, but I was able to move back into education. The world is crazy, and teaching in a school is a safe place, I understand. Having the opportunity to also write for the school in their communications department helps me feel like my skills will not get all rusted up.

Even if I’m not writing all day, I know in my heart I’m a writer. It feels great to have worked in different positions as a freelancer, contractor, and now part-time writer.

Experience can help you feel less impostor syndrome, especially if you work with kind and helpful coworkers. Who knows, though, my next position might feel too big for me, and I have to convince myself I’m worthy of it all again.

I’m not worried. Accepting the fact that I’m a writer always helps.

How I Write 257k Words a Day Without Breaking a Sweat

The secrets to my unheard-of success.

Photo by Jake Weirick on Unsplash

*This article is fictional and meant to be humorous. Enjoy!

Your writing skills ain’t got nothin’ on me. While you struggle to post your one article today, I already posted six.

How do I do it, you might ask?

I could boast about my ability to schedule hours devoted to writing articles back-to-back in bulk. Balancing life with two kids and a demanding wife.

I do write in bulk, but here’s the real key. I’m always writing. Bulk writing is my life. My entire life.

The wife and kids I mentioned earlier, I rarely ever speak to them in person.

They write me. In texts, via email, even on Facebook messenger. They know my goal is and must remain, being a top writer. This is what I live for, and they give me the space to pursue it all.

Sleep? Who needs it?!

I can survive on two hours a night. Even with that one day a month where my body gives out completely, and I crash into the bed, sleeping for 24 hours, I am still a consistent writing machine.

I keep a notepad by my bed and it’s filled with notes I generated subconsciously in my sleep. My wife says when my hand is writing, she dare not wake me lest I lose the next Kubla Khan.

I might be a writing God.

I was once like you. Disappointed with my writing progress and wondering how to add more words to my documents each day.

While you stress over what time to squeeze in a little typing time, I’m writing like lightning. Striking my Macbook like pebbles in a tornado.

A storm that never lets up.

I was once like you. Disappointed with my writing progress and wondering how to add more words to my documents each day.

After reading several articles on productivity, it came to me.

I must go all in. So, writing is all I do. Taking time to shower is a luxury. Even after I get out, my laptop is waiting next to the sink. I only dry my hands as I begin writing again, letting my bare body air dry.

I bet you think my wife is jealous. She’s more envious of how much time I spend caressing my coffee mug. The number of coffee beans I need to fuel this obsession could fill a grain silo. Make that two. My wife knits constantly and shares this devotion to caffeine and productivity. We never buy clothes, thanks to her incredible knitting prowess.

Before you start getting worried about who takes care of our kids, let me calm your fears. We practice “Free-range Parenting.” That’s right; our children take care of themselves. We homeschool, and they fend for themselves. My kids learn more from the Disney Channel than they would in college.

I will admit we have groceries scheduled for delivery every Sunday, so food is provided. Every Saturday, we have cleaners come to wipe away a week's worth of our creative survival mode. We’ve thought of everything.

The harness with a desk attached makes it easy to go out for walks while writing. Writer friends talk about how they get inspiration during their walks. Well, I get to walk, get ideas, and write them immediately. In fact I send them to the cloud with Siri for when I get home. The cloud doesn’t care where I am. You shouldn’t either.

I’m a full-time writer, after all. This is the life I built and the one I choose to live. If I let up on the gas, I might lose it all. The only way to win is to keep adding and pushing harder.

Before you start getting worried about who takes care of our kids, let me calm your fears. We practice “Free-range Parenting.”

Everyone wants to be like me. They don’t have the fire to make it happen. These wannabe writers are lazy, unfocused. I know what it means to give your all for what you love.

Your passion.

If you can’t do what you love, every day, all day, then what’s the point of living? Those of you with weak wills full of fear know—you have what it takes to succeed. Put a razor-sharp focus on your goals and eliminate everything else. You will be rewarded with fame, fortune, and millions of words written a day.

With success comes more work and more hours of writing. You never know when someone will inch up behind you and take your spot.

Don’t let them pass.

My last and final goal is to discover how to write three 600 word articles every hour for 24 hours with original illustrations. Anyone can do Unsplash. I want people to link to my stories when they use my art. I will get there, mark my words.

Top that, losers.

First, They Call You a Fool, Then They Call You Brilliant

Illustrated by the author.

Taking risks that make sense to you may look crazy to others.

Two years ago, I quit my secure art teaching job for a position as a copywriter at a large medical device company. In the middle of the school year, no less—not a wise move in education.

Most teachers wait to leave until June, when they’ve completed a full school year. A great idea if you’re moving to another teaching job. Unfortunately, the corporate world isn’t on the same schedule.

I was scared about what this might do to my teaching career but ready to tackle a new challenge in a different profession.

I worked as a freelance copywriter for more than two years while teaching full-time and was ready to transition into writing more and teaching less. Leaving education at the mid-point of the year wasn’t ideal, but I knew this opportunity would be a good one.

This doesn’t sound too crazy you might think.

I didn’t mention yet, the new copywriter job was a temporary contract position for three months with only a possibility for extension. I was taking a huge risk.

Some people called me a fool. Others, were openly encouraging, but I bet were thinking to themselves I must have lost my mind.

What if I sucked, and they didn’t extend my contract past three months? Working as a contractor can turn into a permanent position, though. They might love the work I do for them and hire me on. Would I be able to get a job in education again if this position didn’t work out?

Even I felt a little crazy. Some days I was thinking, “What am I doing?” Inside, though, I had a feeling it would all work out.

You’re always a fool until you’re brilliant

I follow matchmaker and business columnist Paul Carrick Brunson on LinkedIn and he posted this video talking about his experience with being called a fool for taking risks in his personal life and career. Until he became a success and everyone switched and starting calling him brilliant.

He invested his wife’s savings in his matchmaker business. They called him a fool. He pulled his kids out of school to homeschool them. Foolish, they said.

According to Paul, he was called a fool for fifteen years before it all changed. Now, he’s interviewed regularly on television and people are incredibly impressed with his advice and the success he’s accomplished in his business.

The thing is, this praise only started in the past five years. The first fifteen, he was called a fool. If Paul had given up and listened to the naysayers, he wouldn’t have made it past “fool” status to “brilliant” where he is now.

Have the courage to follow your inner guidance

You not only need the confidence to stick with what you know is right, but the patience to reap the benefits. We all want success to happen right away but good things take time.

Paul Carrick Brunson has been at it for twenty years. I was teaching for seventeen before moving into a corporate position. Having years of knowledge and experience can help you move out or back into a career when needed.

I’d love to tell you I’m still working the copywriting job at the tech company but when the pandemic hit, a hiring freeze ruined my chances of staying on. They did extend my original three month contract three more months. Then, added on another six months.

The medical device industry is difficult to write creatively in because of all the medical and legal regulations. You have to be very careful with the words you use and make sure to back up any promises or claims.

I was frustrated and wanted to leave after a year but something funny happened. The writing and business started making sense to me. I was getting good.

Fortunately, they extended my contract another six months. Unfortunately, the hiring freeze brought on by the fear and uncertainty of the pandemic lockdown meant I wouldn’t get a permanent position. They could only keep me for eighteen months in total, so I knew my time was running out.

I didn’t regret my decision to risk working as a contractor, though. My goal was to gain corporate experience at a tech company as a writer. My writing improved, I met amazing people, and learned a great deal.

Maybe it wasn’t the secure choice, but it was worth it.

Take the “calculated crazy” risk when you can

You know what you need to do to live the life you want. I bet it’s the opinion of others that’s slowing you down or making you feel like you’re crazy.

Ignore them. One thing I’ve learned over years of taking risks that looked kooky to others at the time but ended up working out in the end is, people will give you props and respect when you succeed.

As long as you have a plan and can see how where you’re going can provide new skills to help you become who you want to be, you’re golden.

People might not have understood your vision or goals at first, but when it all comes together, suddenly, you’re looked at as intelligent and resourceful.

Fine. Accept the kind words and don’t get upset with the fact that it took the time and effort it did. Stay in the game long enough to take risks where you win or lose, and keep going until you build something you’re proud of and garners respect.

One thing is true, the majority of people are afraid to go against what’s safe and secure.

Nothing is secure.

Even though taking calculated risks may look ridiculous to the average person. You don’t have to be an average person.

Don’t listen to the noise

My final point is one Paul Carrick Brunson pointed out in his video message. Don’t listen to the noise. Your friends and family care about you and mainly want the best, but they don’t understand your path.

You know what you have to do. They might not see it but that doesn’t mean they’re right. They care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt. Give thanks for them and ignore their negativity and fear. Do what you have to do.

As long as it’s well-thought-out and doesn’t harm anyone in the process, go for it. You can always make another decision later if it doesn’t go the way you hoped.

If only this type of confidence were easy. It’s not. To make it through, you may have to:

• Deal with feeling your heart pounding in fear in the beginning of your journey at the same time you’re holding your head up high to appear sure of yourself.

• Listen to other people’s negative comments about your choices while thinking of the reasons why you’re going about it this way so you stay confident.

• Remember, when times get tough, success is a marathon, not a sprint. It will all feel slow when you’re in the thick of it, but when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will all be rewarding.

I’m back teaching art again. My connections from previous schools helped me get a job in education after losing my copywriter position.

At first, I felt like a failure for only moving out of teaching for a year and a half and then having to go back. Then, I saw how what I learned transferred over to education. In fact, I was able to add communications onto my responsibilities by writing blogs and posting to social media for my school along with teaching art.

If I ever want to go back into copywriting in the future, I’ll always have the corporate experience I gained at the tech company to help.

Brilliant? You be the judge.

So far, it’s working well for me.

What Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone Really Takes

Here’s a hint, it’s not only courage.

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

I have a friend who always talks about making significant changes in his life but never does. He says he wants to change careers and move to another city, but he avoids taking steps to make the leap.

Why?

I know you’re thinking he’s just afraid of the unknown, but I believe it’s more than that.

After spending the past twenty years of my life moving around and even living overseas in Japan, I know what motivated me to step out of my comfort zone.

I wish I could say it was because I’m so brave, and “risk” is my middle name. That’s not true at all. I’m actually afraid of change and scared of the unknown.

What drives me forward — and what my friend could use more of–is curiosity.

One of my goals is to ignite this spirit of curiosity when teaching my students and get them to ask more questions. Good questions lead to knowing more, seeing more, and ultimately experiencing more than what you have inside your bubble of safety.

Here’s the thing — even though it feels nice and warm in that bubble, your determination to discover more and get those questions answered will shove your fears aside. You’ll have the confidence to burst out of your comfort zone.

Fears will still be there, just not barking at you as loud as they were. You’ll have a reason that propels you forward and gives you the confidence to face uncertainty.

Curiosity charges up your “why” with more power than your fears.

Not only in making life moves, but in establishing new relationships. Suppose you’re looking to meet new friends or start dating again after a tough breakup. In that case, it’s been proven curiosity can be the key to personal growth.

Their study concludes that the degree to which people are curious actively influences their personal growth opportunities and the level of intimacy that develops when they meet someone new.

-Patricia Donovan

Sometimes “What if?” Looking back on my life, what if I was never curious about Japanese culture and language? I would never have had the balls to move there to teach English.

My interest in the Japanese language was strong. Still, I’ve always been too shy to speak other languages easily in front of people.

As the only foreigner in my town, living in Japan forced me to learn Japanese and speak it often. I had to push past my fears and face the embarrassment of mispronouncing words in front of native speakers.

What if, when another American teacher of English invited me to hang out with her new Japanese girlfriends and mentioned, “They’re both single!” and If I had said, “No, thanks.”

I would never have met my wife.

I needed to follow the curiosity and interest in who her friends were. Of course, they might have been people I didn’t get along well with, and we could have had a terrible time together. It was a risk I will take because I was curious.

Curiosity leads me overseas and to meeting the woman of my dreams. Travel and relationships aren’t easy, but they’re an example of how your life can change if you are interested in the wider world.

What about my friend who’s afraid of making changes? I wouldn’t give him unsolicited advice, but here are the benefits of curiosity I would share if he ever asks.

When you live with an active sense of curiosity:

You will never get bored

Having an interest in many new things means learning and adjusting regularly. Yes, the positive side effect is never getting bored.

How could you when you constantly have new experiences and relationships to navigate and explore?

If you ever run out of interest, ask more questions.

You will learn to embrace discomfort

There’s always going to be discomfort in any decision or path you choose to take. If you say it’s too scary and do nothing, you’ll have to deal with the discomfort of not reaching your goals.

When you decide to go for it, there’s also discomfort, but for something you really want.

Choose the discomfort that gets you closer to your dreams.

If you want to move forward in life, you’d better become familiar with and embrace the fear.

You will approach life with an open mind as a learner and observer

Living with curiosity also means you will have an easier time remembering information and a more accessible time learning skills connected with your new pursuits. As you learn more, you have a deeper understanding of how things work and why people are the way they are. You grow.

This will help open your mind and create even more questions you want answers to down the line. Each part of what you do in business and life will take on new meaning.

Conclusion

Live with curiosity. It hurts me to have friends who are not interested in experiencing more of what life offers just because of their fear. When you’re aware of your comfort zone, know that you can choose to step out and do more.

All you have to do is to be curious and follow where your questions lead you.

7 Incredibly Easy Morning Routine Ideas

There’s so much more than just getting up early

“Morning routines sound good, but they’re too hard for me,” is what a lot of people say. What can you do to make them more comfortable and fit into your busy life? I’ll share seven ideas to add to your morning routine, but I want you to know this, you don’t have to do them all. You can make morning routines easier.

Adding even one from the list can make a huge difference in how you feel and approach your day. If you can do all of them, excellent. Just one or two? Awesome!

The benefits of getting your mind and body focused in the morning include helping to put you in the right frame of mind for your day, increasing productivity, and boosting your energy levels.

Maybe you’ve heard, or even read, the book “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod. Out of all the articles I read on this topic, his book inspired me to make the most of the early hours. It helped me understand that a morning routine can be what you decide works best for your life and individual needs. It’s not an all-or-nothing practice where there are no benefits if you don’t do all the 127 things on your list.

I like the idea of flexibility, picking what you enjoy doing each morning and letting it be okay If you can’t do it all, for whatever reason.

We don’t have to deal with absolutes. Just because someone like well-known productivity master Elon Musk wakes up at 7 am every day and religiously checks his “critical emails” first thing doesn’t mean you have to do exactly the same.

Oprah is not an early riser — getting up around 8 am is natural for her — and then walking her dogs for fresh air and exercise to get her blood pumping. Pretty simple yet powerful.

Take a look at these possible morning activities and pick one or more that you can add to your routine each morning.

1. Getting up early

People love to debate the perfect time to get up early. Is it 4 am? 5? My advice is to work on getting up one hour earlier than you normally do, even if that takes away from your 8 hours of sleep. In my opinion, the 8 hours rule is overrated. Getting 6–8 hours is fine, then drink caffeine to get you going.

I put this as #1 because rising earlier gives you more time to do the things on your morning routine list and even creates time for doing things you love like reading or writing. More time in the morning is like the gift that keeps on giving.

I get up at 4:30 am to draw comics and write Medium articles. Throughout the day, thinking about all I was able to do in the morning, helps me feel energized — like a natural high.

2. Drinking water with lemon

Making sure to drink a tall glass of water when you first wake up is essential for hydration but squeezing in a slice of lemon brings it up a notch. Dropping the lemon slice into the water after the squeeze not only adds more flavor, you take in all that vitamin C and reap the benefits it provides for healthy skin and body.

Lemon in your water can help with weight loss as well. Research shows polyphenol antioxidants found in lemons substantially reduce weight gain in overfed mice. Yes, on mice, not humans, but the antioxidant compounds also offset the adverse effects on their blood glucose levels and improved insulin resistance. Not too shabby for sour fruit.

3. Appreciating what you have

One way to combat sadness and depression is by thinking about what you have and feeling grateful. Gratitude is an effective way of appreciating how lucky you are to be alive and paying attention to all you did to get where you are now.

Depending on your situation, you may be having such a challenging time in life right now that you have to go to the basics like giving thanks for sleeping well and waking up to a fresh new day. My gratitude thinking involves paying attention to how I feel inside when I think about what I have. This awareness connects with the next activity on the list…

4. Practicing mindfulness

Simply paying attention to how you feel and what you’re thinking can work wonders. Sitting quietly and taking deep breaths as you quiet your mind. This could mean ten to twenty minutes of meditation or sitting and paying attention to any fears or concerns you’re having about your day. Even reading books on spirituality can make you stop and put more awareness on right now.

Reading philosophy excerpts on stoicism, I keep a few books on my desk for easy access, which helps me get in a place to notice the present. How I choose to think dictates my life and well-being. If you don’t have much time, pay attention to how your body moves and how you feel as you get ready in the morning.

I love the idea of “Looking at your hands” as a way to notice what you’re doing and appreciating what you’re able to do. I’ll often take a second and note to myself, “My hands are typing right now.” or “I’m cooking dinner for my family.” The mix of gratitude and mindfulness this creates will help you take a deep breath and feel centered.

5. Moving your body

Giving yourself time for physical exercise or movement in the morning is magical for your thinking and physical energy. Any time, from a few minutes of stretching to thirty minutes of walking or yoga, will do wonders for your mindset.

I love doing yoga poses and taking walks. Suppose I can combine a short run with the walk, even better. I finish feeling awake, alert, and optimistic about what lies ahead.

6. Doing strength exercises

Doing strength exercises like push-ups or pull-ups or weight training, if you have a set up in your home, takes a lot of motivation to do in the morning. If you can get even a few minutes of resistance or muscle-building exercises in, though, you’ll feel stronger and more confident in just about all areas of your day.

I enjoy doing push-ups, and I tend to be off-and-on with pull-ups. They can make my wrists hurt, which makes it harder for me to enjoy drawing. That’s an excuse. I’m well aware because pull-ups are so hard for me. This makes me want to avoid them. Because of this, though, when I do pull-ups, I feel stronger for overcoming my fears.

Fit what you can in, and our last tip will bring it all together.

7. Saying what you want like you already have it

Affirmations are a classic morning ritual that many people feel can be a bit cheesy. I would say no morning routine is complete without a little personal positive encouragement.

You could do the standing in the mirror looking at yourself and loudly proclaiming, “I’m a success!” approach or choose to say positive affirmations to yourself in your head.

Unfortunately, I tend to think of the negatives about myself first. One thing that helps is re-framing my thinking. So, as soon as I think of something negatively, I switch it to a positive and say it as if it already exists. Instead of “I only have a few freelance writing gigs,” I’ll change it to, “I have so many writing gigs, I have to turn some down.” Whatever the subject matter, make sure to say affirmations in the present tense and feel as if you achieved them or have them right now.

You can do all of these if you have time in the morning. If not, do what you can. If you’re unsure which ones will stick or how many are right, try adding one new activity each week until you reach your desired number. You can scale back or adjust anytime you need.

Mornings are full of hope, and when you rise, your mind is open, well-rested, and ready for the new day. Give yourself the mental and physical boost to conquer each day with confidence and success. Choose your combination, even if your routine is different every day, and make it happen.

The “New Normal” Mindset: 3 Hard Truths About Post Pandemic Life

Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

I just got my first dose of the vaccine, the Moderna one, the other day and immediately felt relieved. “I’m safe.” I thought.

A few minutes later, I was back to fearing for my life.

Thankfully, I had no serious side effects, but a small amount of pain in my arm and feeling tired and low energy the next day. It’s all good now, though.

As a teacher, I should feel better, more positive at this point, right? I’m one of the ones getting vaccinated. There’s nothing else to worry about. I wish that were true.

I’m filled with concerns about going back into the classroom and getting exposed to COVID-19.

I’m lucky to have the opportunity to receive the vaccine. However, the risks and reasons for getting jabbed are still frightening. My work will require me to come back on campus in the next few weeks with other teachers and students who could be spreading the virus.

The reality of it all is frightening, but it’s something I realized we all need to be aware of and build up our mental and emotional strength to face. Living in our modern world means taking more risks with our lives than before.

The hard truths below may be uncomfortable to hear. They were for a person who’s mainly positive like me. After living in countries like Germany and Japan, I can take more of an “American looking from the outside in” approach to getting back to normal life. I want to help put your mind in a solid place where you’re looking at reality and facing it head-on.

Variants of the virus can kill us

Realizing this fact is like the “New Normal Mindset,” in my opinion. Accepting that you can’t hide from the virus. Even when deaths slow down, the virus itself will most likely continue to spread. You will need to go out in the world and face it. We will all live with the risk of getting sick, even when life looks normal again.

If variants of the virus keep popping up and most likely continue spreading in the states, even if you’re vaccinated, who knows how effective that will be on keeping you healthy if you get infected.

What bothers me the most is that as a teacher, I have to go back to work at some point soon, teaching remotely isn’t effective for most students, so if I want to support my family and eat, I have no choice but to take a risk on my life and health.

Going back will be after taking both vaccines in my case. Still, I’ve accepted the possibilities of getting seriously sick — and I ain’t no spring chicken. I’m 45 years old, so I’ve lived some life, and if you’re in my age group, you also need to be more concerned than someone in their 20's.

Americans need to get comfortable with wearing masks

I love America, but the freedom argument in this country has gone way too far. It’s only putting a mask over your face, not gagging your free speech. I know we don’t like someone telling us what to do, but let’s clarify that caring for others means putting the group’s needs first before the individual. The idea of risking your “freedom” by wearing a mask seems insane to me, but it’s what we need to do.

Wearing masks is something we’re all going to have to get used to over the next couple of years if we want to survive. Let’s hope new mask technology will be released to make this choice easier for those who can’t wear one for health reasons or refuse to wear one as their personal choice. Masks that are clear glass but do not fog up when you speak, for example, or some kind of clear mesh that fits comfortably, but you can see a person’s mouth move.

Like Japan, citizens of countries in Asia are comfortable wearing masks when they’re sick and need to ride on the train together or while working in the office. It’s seen as a sign of respect for others around you. When I was there, I appreciated that someone was making sure not to spread their germs to others.

You would think that over half a million deaths in America would wake people up to what’s important. Saving lives, not complaining about putting on a mask, something that benefits us all in the long run.

You are not the exception

One of the main reasons the virus spread so fast in the U.S. is that people didn’t believe they would get infected. Why? Because of exceptionalism. We think we’re special, untouchable even.

exceptionalism ĭk-sĕp′shə-nə-lĭz″əm

• n. The condition of being exceptional or unique.

• n. The theory or belief that something, especially a nation, does not conform to a pattern or norm.

• n. The state of being special, exceptional, or unique

Let’s stop exceptionalism thinking and start paying attention to reality. America is a phenomenal country, but it can get hit hard by a virus, terrorism, and, yes, even racist attacks on its own citizens. We are not above it all or so “woke” to not have dark and terrible events occur in our own backyards.

Feeling like a unique and special person is good for self-confidence, and we should make sure that also comes with a healthy dose of humility.

Adopt the new normal mindset and grow stronger

When you look at the world as it is and understand that there are some things you can’t change but must accept to stay alive and thrive, you’re in good shape. This crazy and scary reality may be one we have to navigate, but it’s how you think about it that will make the difference. I also dream of the days we can all meet again without social distancing and can hug our loved ones.

Even when that day comes, we will still be taking risks with catching the virus. Each new day is a chance to also practice a new normal mindset — it’s time we live with the truth and keep moving forward.

Overwhelmed Dad Prays for One Minute Alone

Photo by Jaclyn Moy on Unsplash

Dear God,

I know the world is going through a tough time right now, with the pandemic and everything, but I’m desperate for more time alone. Not alone forever, I enjoy being with my wife and two out-of-control kids, some of the time. Maybe an hour a day would be helpful? A few hours or even one week would be ideal. Magical even. I may be losing my mind, so a little solitude would help get me back on track. 

There’s just no time to breathe or even think. To find time to get on my knees and talk to you means I’m on the floor in the bathroom right now, after crying in the shower. You see, I’m what they call an introvert. Too much social time with others drains me. I need time alone to recharge. Now that I can’t escape to the office and my wife never goes anywhere anymore, I’m drowning in needy family members and bickering children. When do I get a break?

That’s where you come in, God. I could use a miracle—the parting of the red sea kind. It’s been a hectic year of forced homeschooling for my two elementary school-aged kids. They could care less about distance learning or Zoom classes. They just want to watch YouTube, play video games, and eat candy. I don’t blame them. The schools expect my little children to get work done and make my wife and me, both working from home, keep them on task. Do you think they’re getting work done?

Hell, no! 

Sorry, Lord. I meant, heck no. When I try to get them to complete their assignments, they run away from me screaming. All while I’m on a meeting with a stakeholder and making PB&J sandwiches so they won’t be “hangry.” 

I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t even breathe well at night. When I try to sleep, I’m hyperventilating and doing my best to calm down—thinking about relaxing on some beach somewhere alone. 

Alone. It sounds like such a romantic word now. No one asking me for anything or talking non-stop about some ridiculous animated TV show. Just peace and quiet. Doing what I want when I want. Not for forever, for just a little while. A few weeks, maybe?

My wife keeps telling me we can’t afford for one of us to quit our jobs and take care of everything at home, but I wonder. Is my sanity worth the salary I make? We have other friends whose wives have quit and have become at-home co-teachers for their children. Everything looks more manageable for them. It probably isn’t. 

I don’t know of any Dads doing it. Should I be the first? Of course, that won’t get me the solitude I’m craving. I’ll have to take care of my kid’s schooling every minute of the day. I’m having trouble breathing just thinking about it. 

What’s that you say? Take a sabbatical, God? Is that the answer? A few months off from work. I would need to go somewhere else for it to be effective, though. Rent an AirBnB and live alone for six months. Just reading, catching up on all the shows I’ve missed, and taking time to meditate. Paradise! 

No, you’re right. That’s selfish. Don’t I deserve a whole year to myself? I would miss my family, but eventually, isn’t it ok if they know I’m coming back? I could visit them on the weekends. Wait, this sounds like a trial separation. No, thanks. 

I’d better stick it out. It’s better to be a man and endure even if it costs me my sanity. 

Thanks for listening, Lord. I know you’ve given me the strength to withstand anything. Even drowning in responsibilities with no acceptable way out. I can do this. Who cares that I’m hearing voices in my head and feeling dizzy from vertigo every evening.   

This will all be over soon, right?

Right?

Don’t Ever Interrupt Dad’s Morning Routine- Here’s why

Photo by Maria Lysenko on Unsplash

As told by his twelve-year-old daughter.

I don’t know about you guys, but my Dad wakes up crazy early in the morning. Like, why does he do this? It’s 4:30 am, and he’s up meditating, making coffee, and writing. Every day. 

Boring! 

Yesterday, I thought it might be fun to see what all the fuss was about. Just for the heck of it, you know? Maybe it’s fun getting up early and doing responsible stuff. I also thought it might drive him a bit crazy, so I had to try it. 

Dad’s always blabbing on and on about how good it feels to get things done first thing. So, I set my alarm for 4:15, to get up just before him, and pulled myself out of bed. 

It sucked! 

I was dizzy and could barely walk. What’s fun about this? Anyway, I was determined to surprise Dad, so I pushed through, washed my face, and stumbled into the living room, ready to look responsible. Dad must have seen the lights on and stomped out of his bedroom in shock. 

“What are you doing up? It’s 4:30 in the morning. Go back to bed!” he shouted. Where’s the love, Pops? Not even a friendly, “Good morning” first? It’s like he wants to be alone and doesn’t even want to see me. 

How rude.

Well, I was certainly the better person as I kindly replied, “I wanted to try getting up early and see how it feels to have a head start on my day. Just like you recommended.” I made sure to give him a warm smile as I looked back down at the history book I was reading.

Dad paused for a moment, looking off in another direction, and then back at me with that crazy-eyed look he gets when he’s pissed and said, “Ok, then. Since you’re up, I have a few things for you to do.

“No way, Dad, I got up early to study!” I yelled at him. Dad said, “Nope, you’re twelve and live in my house. You don’t get to rise early and do what you want. Not until you help out around here.”

Uh-oh. I thought to myself. 

Dad forced me to do chores and stuff. OMG! Can you believe it? It’s like he wanted me to learn a lesson or something. You guys will not believe what he made me do. This article is meant as a cautionary tale for all you readers out there.

This is what your Dad may make you do if you interrupt his early morning routine:

1. Make you clean up your room and make your bed. Then, dust everywhere and use Windex to clean your windows and mirror. Twice.

2. Make you learn how to make coffee for him so the next time you get up first, he can drink it. He will not let you drink any of the coffee.

3. Make you finish any homework you have but will not help answer any difficult questions.

4. You will have to hear him repeat, “You want to be a part of my morning routine? Then you’ll need to do some of my routines.” over and over again.

5. So, that means he’ll make you meditate with him for thirty minutes. Thirty minutes, people! It’s like so long and boring!

6. Make you do twenty push-ups and then some weird yoga poses like that down-facing doggy one.  

7. Make you read from a book on some philosophy called Stoicism where dudes thousands of years ago tell you how to not sweat the small stuff. Actually, this part wasn’t half bad. 

There you go. That’s how it all went down yesterday morning with Dad. It was fun to see the shock on his face when he saw I was up earlier than him. I don’t think it was worth all the crap I had to do, though. He wouldn’t let me watch TV after all that or even get online.

If I were you, I would steer clear. Just wake up at your normal time and leave Dad alone. This morning, I slept as late as I could. I’ll leave all that early riser mess for when I’m a grown-up.

You should too.

To Create, or Not to Create, While in Quarantine

That is the questions. Here’s the answer.

Illustration by Khalid Birdsong

Waking up at the crack of dawn to draw and write is no easy task, but I’ve grown accustomed to it. Today, on the other hand, I couldn’t help but feel the pull of the bed calling me back.

This is normal in regular times but much more powerful recently. Is it smarter to push through and get work done during these stressful times or give your body the extra rest it needs?

I chose to stay up and fumbled around, getting my coffee made. Doing marketing tasks like scheduling future social media posts, and writing possible gags for new comic strips — nothing all that heavy. When I start this way, it usually leads to turning my engine on and getting deeper into a creative drive. Where I’m eventually motivated to make more focused work like drawing or writing articles.

Perhaps you’re like me. Sandwiched between your desire to rest more and the awareness of all you could achieve during this forced-flexible time at home due to quarantine.

The two opposing questions floating around in my head always — Why not use this time to get more done? On the other hand — Why should I force myself to do anything during such a major pandemic?

The world needs your art during this time. Your perspective, voice, and experiences can help others. It’s incredibly important for you to find a way to put your work out there.

Here’s what I think is going on and what I discovered we can do to move forward towards our artistic goals.

Stop feeling guilty

Reading articles about famous people in the past, like Isaac Newton, who discovered the theory of relativity during a quarantine. Or, was that Einstein? Didn’t Shakespeare write a famous play while sheltering at home? I bet someone wrote a brilliant piece of classical music while forced to hide away from a plague. Something like that. I think all the motivational articles are getting jumbled up in my head.

The point is, they make you feel like this time of quarantine is not for letting it all go and slowing down, but for working harder. For creating something brand new and absolutely fantastic.

You start feeling concerned about yourself and, yes, guilty. Why can’t I make something earth-changing during this time? There are more opportunities to focus on smaller projects. Isn’t this what people will expect of a creative person?

There’s only one truth to accept.

Creatives get overwhelmed, frightened, and exhausted by world events, just like “normal” humans. We’re not above or beyond it only because we can escape to other places in our minds.

There are times when we make stuff with ease and times when we need to just sit and stare out into space to process it all. With nothing but a clean slate of negative thoughts in our heads and swirling mixed emotions in our hearts.

I want to have the freedom to work when my creative energy is turned on, but I’m afraid that if I get out of a routine, I’ll just stop and not make anything anymore. My momentum will hit a wall and seep into the gutter.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I recognize this is what’s going on, I change how much I expect to get done. If you’re feeling this same guilt and overwhelm, schedule time to work but limit it. Instead of an hour, work for thirty-minutes.

There’s nothing wrong with cutting back.

Go ahead and be exhausted

Taking life a day at a time is something I need to improve on. I’ve seen more than ever how good days can be full of powerful, productive energy, and others are a slow drag to even begin.

This past weekend I was completely out of it. I felt like strings were attached to my limbs, and someone was pulling down on them, making it hard for me to move. Heavy body and mind issues plus plenty of chores to take care of around the house, forced me to make an important decision.

I needed to “do” less and let some things go. I’m just too tired.

Feeling exhausted right now is ok. It’s more than ok. You should expect it and give yourself some time off.

The only way to have productive days right now is to give yourself “processing time” to recharge on those tired, emotionally exhausting days.

Give yourself time to ease in

The struggle to produce content just happened to me today. This morning, in fact. What you’re reading is a result of gradually working my way to writing this article.

If you know that starting off not wanting to work but doing small things to help you transform into a “focused flow state productive mind,” is possible, you can have more confidence in the process.

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Celebrate your wins

You should definitely create your writing, art, and music while in quarantine. Take a hybrid approach by dedicating yourself to both your mental health through regular periods of rest and your need to create with longer than typical stretches of scheduled work times. This way, you know you have the time to gradually get into the groove.

“Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.” ~Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Even if it seems like you only completed a few tasks, celebrate them. I had to tell myself, “Good Job!” today for getting something done, even though I was totally not in the mood at first. We could always do more.

Make good friends with patience and invite understanding into the mix. I know you will keep the creative momentum going and succeed in artistically expressing yourself.

Even while trapped inside this box, we call quarantine.