The Life Advice I Nearly Died to Learn
/It’s about more than feeling grateful to be alive.
This article isn’t just about how precious life is—you know that already.
Going through the experience I’m about to tell you that happened because of my own lousy judgment helped me discover how to look at life and might help you too.
Here’s what started me down this road.
One late evening many years ago, after working all day, I needed to drive five hours south to visit family in Atlanta, Georgia. I was tired, exhausted even. When I look back on it, I know I shouldn’t have been driving a long distance, but I did it anyway.
It was close to midnight, driving down the highway, and I started to dose off. I wasn’t worried, though. Driving long distances is my thing. My confidence in the ability to stay awake, stay focused on the road, and make it to my destination was unshakable.
Until I fell asleep, and my car swerved to the left and hit the median.
My car spun to the right, across every lane of the highway. While spinning, my mind did exactly what I’ve heard other people explain. Time slowed down.
I was in shock, and my car was spinning. I thought another vehicle, or worse, a truck, would run into me. I figured this was it, and I would die. But I didn’t. My car slid down into a shallow ditch on the right side of the highway. I sat there frozen, staring out the window as my mind slowly crept out of the fog of shock covering me.
“I’m alive.” I thought to myself over and over again.
As a Black man sitting in the middle of nowhere Georgia late at night, I was afraid to stay there or even call the cops. Getting the car back on the road was the only option. My engine was still running, so I put it in drive and tried rolling out of the ditch.
The car moved up a little, but my ancient Honda Civic barely had enough power to get up the hill. I floored the gas pedal, and thankfully my prayers were answered as it moved up and back onto the highway.
Not taking any chances, I rolled down my windows, cranked up the radio, and drove the last hour and a half into Atlanta. The scrape on the left side of my car from hitting the median was a small price to pay for keeping my life.
During that ride post-accident, yes, I was grateful to be alive and pissed at myself for driving drowsy. But I realized something.
If things were just a little different, I’d be dead. The truth is, bad things happen and will continue to happen. We must all choose what seemingly bad events mean to us.
Accepting that it’s my responsibility to decide how to think about every event in my life is a privilege I will gladly take on. What I went through sucked, but what I learned from it is powerful.
We can make life better or worse—starting with how we want to see it.
I could have spent the entire ride punching myself in the face for not waiting until the next day, after a good night’s sleep, to drive to Atlanta. My deliberate choice was to focus on the fact that I got myself out of the ditch and back on the road.
Could I have fallen asleep again? Sure. But I decided to push through and reach my destination by ensuring I couldn’t fall asleep again. And you know what? I have never driven long distances at night while tired again. That was my choice. I learned from my mistake.
What if you feel there are no choices in life for you?
Change your perspective, and change your life
The first perspective upgrade to make is recognizing you have the power to think differently about yourself and your situation in life. You don’t have to almost die to understand how powerful changing your thinking about something can be.
I’m a big fan of accepting situations for what they are and then deciding to move forward. Going through an accident where I could have died or have been seriously injured, but didn’t, could have been all I needed to decide never to drive again. Like god was telling me, I don’t belong behind the wheel.
Of course, that’s not true. If everyone stopped driving after getting in one accident, far fewer cars would be on the road. It would be best if you built up resilience to tough times and difficult situations so you can get back in the game after hardships.
I decided to give thanks for coming out of the accident safely and understanding I must be more careful while driving. The lesson I learned helped shape me into a better driver and taught me; even small things can make a huge difference.
When you can make your mistakes into lessons and difficulties into opportunities, you can conquer anything.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” -Maya Angelou
Change your thinking now. Don’t wait.
You don’t need to risk your life to appreciate how much good you can give to the world. All you have to do is make a choice. Choose now.
Upgrading your perspective is easier than you think. Here are several ways to do it without nearly dying.
Take a step back to see the bigger picture. Soar above your life and look at it from above to get a broader perspective. What can you change?
Focus on what you have rather than what you’re missing.
Practice gratitude. Even the smallest blessings are worth your attention.
Try out new things. Stretch yourself with new hobbies or activities. You’ll be forced to open your mind and see life anew.
If something like an accident or health-scare hasn’t happened to you yet, it most likely will. I know that’s morbid to think about, and I apologize. But, staring at death in the face gives you the proper perspective on life. You will discover what truly matters if you haven’t figured it out already.
Fortunately, you don’t have to go through hell to get to an epiphany about life. You can choose to make a change right now.
The power is all yours. Upgrade your perspective and choose the life you desire.
Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.
