There Are Two Ways to Admire Successful People- Only One is Right

Be honest. Would you do what it takes to be as good?

Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

Success is easy for them. They're naturally talented and famous. Why couldn't I be born with such exceptional skills?

I bet that's what you're thinking when reading a book by an author you admire or watching an actor play their role superbly, and it fills you with admiration.

Perhaps, even jealousy. You want what successful people have but feel you're not ready yet. Or maybe you'll never get there.

As a writer, cartoonist, and teacher, I have friends who have succeeded further than I have and others who haven't, for various reasons. Of course, the ones who have done well have me envious of their accomplishments.

I use the word envy because jealousy sounds like I'm unhappy or upset with them—quite the contrary. I'm excited when people succeed in the arts and get to where they want to be.

I do feel it's essential to put it into perspective, though. When you see someone doing well, it looks easy. We know there's no way it's as easy as they make it look, but still, we think it's beyond our reach due to some unknown advantage they have.

Take a look at these two ways to think about what they've accomplished.

Which one are you?

1. Natural talent created their good luck

"That writer is so talented. There's no way I could ever be as good as them."

Guilty. I've uttered this phrase. Sometimes I believe it must be nice to be born with natural talent and ability, making creativity easy.

Cheering for your favorite basketball player is the same idea: natural talent can't be ignored.

In your mind, natural talent is all it takes, and you tell yourself that to avoid the uncomfortable truth.

Getting good takes hard work.

Sure, that sports star practices regularly, but they're doing it full-time. It's their job to be good, and you don't have that luxury, so it's not your time yet.

You have to work a day job and find time to practice what you love after taking care of all your responsibilities. It's so much harder.

I often feel helpless thinking about how much better I could be with more time to work on writing and drawing each day. It's easy to be envious of people who look like they were born great and have endless free time.

If you ain't got it, you ain't got it. You can make that your excuse to stop trying and sit back and watch, read, and be as jealous as you'd like because they're more special than you'll ever be unless there's more to their success than you initially thought.

2. Many years of hard work created opportunities

Talent is only one part of their astounding skill. What helps is commitment and consistency for success.

Admire their hard work as well as their talent. Successful people commit to something important to them, not only for a few months but for many years. Most likely ten or more. A lifetime even.

Putting all that time into something you're not sure will pay off is a risk. Even if it doesn't work out the way they planned, successful people know to pivot and put their efforts into something else until one of their pursuits turns into a viable business or career.

Trial and error is no fun; you must keep your mental state strong and become comfortable with uncertainty. Can you do that?

Luck does play a part, I'll admit. Meeting the right people who can put you in better situations to shine is an ingredient. Being prepared from working on your craft for years helps. If you're not ready to play in the big leagues, it could all fall flat—luck or not.

Maintaining success when you get it is also a challenge. Everyone can't keep a cool head when they're suddenly hitting it big and making more money than they ever imagined. Surrounding yourself with good people and pacing yourself can help the good times remain sustainable.

Admire the work, not the fame

I understand that you want everything you put a lot of effort into to succeed without fail, but that's not possible. If you want to achieve, you have to learn to deal with the highs and lows.

All the successful people you're envious of certainly are.

Become a person interested in making it big through consistent practice, treating others with respect, and staying positive even when reality looks bleak.

Be someone to admire by putting in the work even when life is hard, and there are zero opportunities. You'll reap the rewards, even if it's not how you imagined.

Want more? If you're struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

3 Mindset Shifts to Help You Hate Yourself

And motivate you to do better.

Illustrated by the author.

Being a success is overrated.

Why worry about making yourself better when the world is slowly spiraling down the toilet bowl?

Let's get real here, people.

Thinking positively does little to help your attitude anyway, and you just end up feeling like a fake. Facing reality and putting yourself down can work wonders. Take it from me, a generally positive person, at least that's what all my friends call me—I'm ready for a change.

These last few years, I survived a pandemic, watching good people die in droves even after being careful not to spend time in crowds but still end up catching covid. Wearing masks and washing hands only to still, that's right, see more people catch covid. Other self-proclaimed good folks believe they don't even need a vaccine, and it's all a hoax. They seem fine with themselves.

Meanwhile, I lose my job and have to learn to survive and find a new one while everyone else is fleeing theirs. Should I try to be happy? Make it all the better by telling myself positive mantras?

If someone can decide what life means to them and choose how to live it the way they want, even if it's ridiculous, I've opted that thinking positively is getting thrown out the window.

Here's a mindset shift that defies what self-help gurus preach, so we can start demotivating ourselves and get honest about our situations. It's time you gain power from negative self-criticism.

1. Recognize your negative cycle and give it a hug

Criticizing yourself and your appearance after waking up in the morning, looking at your sad reflection staring back, is the new motivation for success. Dominate your mind with negative talk about how you need to lose weight and exercise more.

I bet your hair looks awful. Isn't it time for a new hairdo?

Yeah, your job sucks. Who cares. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. I thought so.

Doesn't this feel good?

Destructive self-talk sculpts an image of yourself that's hard to break unless you recognize you're doing it in the first place. Embrace this downer version of you and let the Eeyore-like side shine.

What? Is all this negativity silly to you? After smelling all your garbage, you should want to clean it up.

2. See your negative self-image as a flame, and fan it

The more you fan a flame, the more it burns. It's time to grow yours into a roaring fire with negative self-talk. How bad can you make yourself feel?

Dare yourself to try. How many crappy details about your life and failures can you drum up? Life ain't always great, so stop pretending.

Give it all you got, and feel that fire rage inside. The worse you feel, the better.

You might get so enraged that you get completely sick and tired of being sick and tired. So what?

Why don't you do something about it? Oh, you're too lazy, huh?

If only you cared enough to think of times where you made the right choices and succeeded. Accept that some things in life work out, and others don't.

Feeling bad about yourself can help make you feel good.

3. Be unkind to yourself to motivate change

The other day I cursed at myself for making a wrong turn and having to re-route the directions to an appointment—one I was already late for anyway. I could have been kind and talked to my brain about how everything will be fine and work out well in the end.

But it didn't. Me being late made everything worse and upset people I care about. Maybe next time I have a meaningful engagement, I should leave super early because I suck at finding new places.

Making sure to step outside yourself and see the bad can help you know what to improve. You shouldn't hide behind positivity if you want to make real change.

You have to be unkind to yourself to know where to grow and get so upset you actually do something instead of just talking.

The end is not nigh

You have triggers that make you feel down on yourself or give up, and you might as well discover them so you know when you're spanking yourself. When we feel at our lowest, we are often about to make a breakthrough.

If you can tell when you're at rock bottom, you can be open for the moment of clarity that helps you see where to go next. Giving yourself a chance to notice what pulls you down can help you know how to climb back up. Or, better yet, how not to spiral down in the future.

Times are tough in the world right now, and we need to be tougher. You can't always fix everything by just thinking positively.

You've seen those old black and white photos of families from a hundred years ago. They weren't smiling, and they were surviving.

They didn't finish a day on the farm, working out in the hot sun, smiling, and telling themselves how happy they were. Looking in the mirror, telling themselves life can be easy and fun when life was hard. Our ancestors had very few options.

It's much easier now, but we act like it should be a breeze.

Life is still challenging, no matter how nicer our living conditions have become—facing negativity and letting it run all over you is how to understand what gets you down and leads to change.

Unless you suffer from chronic depression, you might want to see a doctor and get on medication if that's the case.

The rest of us can learn to live with our negativity and practice some grit.

Cheers to the new you.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

This Quote From Seth Godin Could Change How You Think About Pursuing Your Passion

Photo by Adrian Dascal on Unsplash

Do what you love, and the money will follow. Wasn’t that the name of a book?

It’s become an idea that fills creative people with hope, and more often than not, leaves us broke and disappointed.

Doing what you love doesn’t always lead to success and financial freedom. It can. I know there are people out there who have done it, but it’s rare. Taking something you enjoyed as a kid, a hobby you love, or a creative skill like writing or drawing and turning it into a successful career is a considerable risk.

One most people fail.

Was that too dramatic? My apologies. It’s because I’m a creative person who’s learned this the hard way. I’ve been working towards making a full-time living from cartooning and writing for many years. Fortunately, I’ve been able to make it work with the help of teaching art and multiple day jobs.

But I’m still doing everything I can to make a bit of part-time income from creative work.

The hard part for me was accepting that every passion isn’t made for success. At least, what you’re putting out into the world might not become something big exactly when you want or need it to.

Not only because it’s challenging to make money with, but because it might not get the attention of a broad audience right away. If you’re a writer, maybe your voice or ideas aren’t resonating on a large scale yet.

Unless you think of “Following your passion” differently.

Having a passion for something isn’t enough. In fact, your love for it might be holding you back. There could be new pursuits you could try and ultimately fall in love with that you’re not because of being dead set on something fun but not working for you.

That’s why this quote from

Seth Godin’s new book “The Practice: Shipping Creative Work” made me stop and take note.

“Do what you love” is for amateurs. “Love what you do” is the mantra for professionals.

-Seth Godin

You can learn to love new jobs and skills when you practice Seth’s advice and use it as your mindset. Sometimes it comes down to just loving the work you do — even if it’s not your favorite, dreamiest, best of the best work you’ve ever done in your life.

Discovering what I want and learning how to think less like an amateur and more like a professional has taken time.

Here are a few ideas that helped:

Doing what you love for fun, not money

When it comes to the hobbies and activities you engage in for fun, doing what you love is excellent advice. As long as you don’t expect to make money.

If you end up striking it rich from your hobbies, awesome! Good for you. Either way, enjoying the process of doing or creating should be the end goal. It shouldn’t be something you hope will bring you millions of dollars.

Playing video games is a lot of fun. Some may even feel like it’s their passion. Enjoy playing and use it as your escape. Sure, you could record yourself playing and post it up on YouTube so others could watch, and that might become a hit for you. You could become a video game tester or designer.

If you do, though, how your hobby feels might change. For example, do you want it to feel like work?

I’ve learned that some things should remain hobbies. Having an outlet, you love to dive into when you need something to make you smile.

Make learning valuable skills fun

Convincing yourself that it’s valuable to fall in love with skill-building will help you move forward in anything you pursue. If you enjoy learning to write and communicate better, improve your public speaking and event organization skills, they’ll cross over into any work or job you have.

Learning several skills at the same time could be overwhelming so narrowing them down to one works well. Once you’ve become pretty good at that one, move on to the next. Make that feeling of mastering a skill something you’re passionate about.

If you’re developing skills in very different areas, like music, then writing, and video editing, it might help to combine them, so you don’t get scattered. For example, I like putting my interests under an umbrella term like “Storytelling” to combine my love of writing, drawing, and teaching.

When I learn a new way to illustrate comic pages, it fits with my goal of improving as a visual storyteller. Of course, this may be different from improving as an article writer. Still, I know improving my writing skills will help me make more relatable comics.

Learning can be fun, but you won’t know if you’re growing if you don’t put it out there for an audience.

Sharing your passions with the world

Sharing your work with the world is how you make a name for yourself and refine your skills. Do you want to reach a professional level? Write online, post your performances on YouTube, and air your podcast so that others can be inspired and entertained — not only for exposure but for feedback.

You’ll get a chance to see which pieces of content people respond to and learn more about what they want. Hearing feedback can be challenging, especially if most of it is harmful when you first start out, but take it and make adjustments. If it hurts, ask yourself why, and stay open to making changes.

You can practice the skill by doing it as a side-hustle while you work your day job if it’s something you decide to earn money from in the long run. If money is a goal, make sure to post as often as you can every week to attract fans and stay consistent.

Conclusion

If you produce your work online and even post it to friends who share your interests, you’ll watch your passion for it bloom.

So why not try an experiment?

Decide on a skill you’d like to improve on and take an online course or practice regularly at a scheduled time each week. Maybe it’s something you want but doesn’t quite feel like it’s your “passion” just yet.

I bet, after a few months, you’ll improve and start feeling passionate about it in a way that might surprise you.

It all comes down to learning to love what you do. After that, picking what you do is up to you.