3 Reasons to Turn Off the TV and Make Stuff Again

The power of producing for others can change your life for the better.

Illustrated by the author.

In the 1930s, thousands of people lined up to view the Dionne Quintuplets on display in a hospital nursery in Ontario, Canada.

Back then, no one knew having five babies at one time was possible—they had to see it to believe it.

The Canadian government passed a bill making the babies Yvonne, Annette, Cecile, Emilie, and Marie wards of the state. After all, how could one married couple possibly take care of so many babies at once?

Audiences paid to peek into display windows and watch the children grow up over almost ten years, putting half a billion dollars in the Canadian government's pocket.

People not only love to be entertained but awed. Seeing something fresh, groundbreaking, and new excites the imagination and creates envy in all your friends when you share your experiences.

It didn’t matter who you were. Celebrities came from far and wide to see the quintuplets in real life. Notable names at the time like Mae West, Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable, and even a young future Queen Elizabeth II.

The Dionne quintuplets courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

You may find it strange, or a bit twisted that people would pay to watch children through small windows at a hospital for enjoyment, but what else could they do?

Without the internet and television, radio and movies could only go so far. Plus, your choices were minimal in those days—no endless stream of shows and content like what we have now. You had to talk with friends, share stories around a fire or at the dinner table, play games, and actually go outside.

Using your imagination along with your social skills was vital.

What if you were a creator who desired to share your gifts with the world? Fat chance. One hundred years ago, there'd be limited outlets to share your passions and interests widely. You could be a local actor or musician in your town or risk your life traveling to New York or taking a boat overseas to Europe.

A century ago, providing for the basics—food, clothing, and shelter—was hard enough. Our world is more miniature thanks to the internet and media, but it's making people complacent.

Who needs to create or write their stuff when you can turn on the TV, look at your phone, or open a laptop anytime and be entertained?

When you think about some ridiculous videos people, watch on YouTube or vapid reality shows where people yell at each other that you can endlessly stream, it's not far off from watching five siblings playing in a room for entertainment. A lot of it is cruel and unethical.

Turn it off.

Let's say you're someone who works hard all day and wants to come home to a beer and several hours of watching screens. That's cool, some of the time.

We all need to kick back and relax here and there.

But what if you spent a bit of those TV watching hours creating something to inspire people who need what you offer? Perhaps you're a creator who gave it all up out of frustration.

I've been a cartoonist for over twenty years, with some hits but a ton more misses. Giving up and starting again is now a part of my backbone. If knocked down, you can come back to creating again, believe me.

Having so many choices for fun and amusement is fantastic, but I've discovered how the power of producing for others, no matter what you've been through, can change your life for the better.

Take a look at these three reasons to make time to share your talents.

1. Giving feels better than taking

Consuming content is exactly how it sounds—taking in and filling yourself without giving anything back. You're only working in one direction. It's my personal belief we're put here to give to the world more than we take.

If you look at it this way, figuring out what unique gifts you can share with the world is essential.

Very few people are fortunate enough to do what they love as a career. Add it to your life in some way.

You don't have to be on camera or pursuing internet fame and millions of rabid fans, but give yourself time each day to create something. Whether in the arts or being of service to others as a professional, helping your family or mentoring young people can help you give back in a fulfilling way.

2. Creating is its own reward

You don't need a large audience. Making or working on something that brings you joy is genuinely rewarding. A desire to improve, put in the work to get where you want to be, then you can share each step only if you choose.

Success and money aren't necessary. It's all about the making.

Sure, if you get so good, others can't help but notice you might have a hit on your hands, this may be a new direction to move into for success.

Enjoying doing what you love should be the primary goal, though.

I read a story about a young comedian who approached Jerry Seinfeld in a club one night and asked him for advice about marketing and exposure for his comedy career.

Hearing all this talk about exposure and marketing made Seinfeld feel queasy. He's a pure stand-up—a comedian's comedian. The legendary heads-down work ethic Seinfeld is known for giving the younger comedian the impression that's what he should ask about to get ahead. Nope.

"Just work on your act," Seinfeld said.

3. Building your legacy instead of others

There's nothing wrong with being remembered as someone who worked long hours providing for their family—making a better life for the people you love is an impressive accomplishment.

Think about if you're fortunate enough, like many people in the U.S., to have the means to pursue a craft or art skill to bring joy to others.

Your passions will be remembered and passed down through your family, inspiring future generations. It's not only about being remembered but leaving something more than money as your legacy.

Don't spend all your attention on something someone else built. Put time into making something your ancestors can be proud of after you're gone. Look, we all love Star Wars, but there are plenty of fans of that franchise.

Create yours.

Giving with your art makes it clear to others there's more out there than just working a job. You're here to inspire people, enjoy life, and show them you care for what's possible beyond endless hours of earning money to pay the bills.

Find your platform and express yourself

With our modern privilege, we can choose to watch the endless array of mindless, borderline embarrassing content out there but also use it to give back and make others feel awe.

Decide if you want to create in private or share it with your family or the world online. Your platform doesn't have to be a website destination—it can be in person.

Even if you feel like an amateur, you can inspire and thrill others with your creativity and positive energy.

One of the things I enjoy about making comic strips is knowing I can give someone I've never met before a laugh. Even if my work isn't hilarious, I like that I can bring a little joy to someone who might need it that day. It makes all the work hours feel like they matter to someone over just me.

Not sure what you can share with others?

• Find a dance class or group to groove with and work out your frustrations through music and movement.

• Write articles about topics that interest you and can help others learn new skills. Publish them on Medium and social media sites and observe the feedback you receive to shape how you grow and move forward.

• Make a goal to fill a sketchbook with drawings of what you see around you. Sketch the people in your life. Then, share photos online of your finished pages.

• Learn a new instrument or practice songs on the one you play well, then try writing songs you could share.

• Be that listening ear for friends and family who need support. Giving your time to be fully present for others is a crucial skill to master.

Turning off the TV more and making time for creativity and care for others is your ticket to a fulfilling life.

Give more and see how each day gets better.

Subscribe to my A New Creative Life newsletter to discover how to live a creative life.

https://khalidbirdsong.substack.com/

How Many Weeks of Life Do You Get?

And how to make them last longer.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

How many weeks does the average person live? Maybe your first thought is way up there, like 150k weeks, 70k weeks for sure. Believe it or not, it's much less than you'd think.

Oliver Burkeman asked this question to a host of people for his book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and they had similar guesses. One person even said 300k weeks.

In reality, Burkeman discovered that if you can make it to eighty years old, you guessed it, you live only around four thousand weeks.

I love how his book explores some of the deeper issues surrounding our relationship with time. The mistakes we make in trying to control it and how expectations we place on ourselves might be just plain wrong.

When you're looking to slow life down, get things done, and make the most of it, I took advice from the book that could help you.

A constant focus on productivity is useless

I love productivity hacks and practicing new ways to get more done in a day, but how much is enough? Burkeman's book argues we should ease off trying to be a productive superhero and be in the here and now instead of living for our future.

Doing more by checking things off your list is more about clearing time for more space at a later date. When I get it all done, I think I can relax and read or watch a movie without guilt because I know I took care of business.

You will enjoy your "downtime" even more if you free up your time. At least, that's the plan.

The problem with that idea, which most of us are buying, is that our "To Do" list will get completed, and it never does, and there will always be piles of stuff to do and work to get done.

Do you know when it all stops? That's right—when you're dead.

Making sure to take care of essential responsibilities is what any reasonable person should do. When we attach how much we can do directly to our self-worth, it becomes a problem.

If you only have four thousand weeks of life, will you spend it all trying to get everything done? You can't, and you never will do it all.

We spend most of our time doing things now to set everything up for a later date rather than living for the present moment.

“The problem with trying to make time for everything that feels important — or just for enough of what feels important — is that you definitely never will. The reason isn’t that you haven’t yet discovered the right time management tricks or supplied sufficient effort, or that you need to start getting up earlier, or that you’re generally useless. It’s that the underlying assumption is unwarranted: there’s no reason to believe you’ll ever feel ‘on top of things,’ or make time for everything that matters, simply by getting more done.”
― Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

Embrace the joy of missing out

If you're living a life where there's so much, you have to do for work, family, and recreation time, life is pretty damn good already. You have so many opportunities to live life to the fullest; you don't have time to experience them all.

Four Thousand Weeks helped me understand there can never be a time where we have it all—especially not all at once.

Instead of fearing missing out, embrace what Burkeman calls the joy of missing out.

Knowing you have so much you could do but can't should fill you with glee. What a rich life you live. You have to pick and choose. There’s so much to enjoy, work for, or experience.

Feeling like we can't do it all should help us feel grateful for the good life we're leading and, in turn, live more in the moment.

“Convenience culture seduces us into imagining that we might find room for everything important by eliminating only life’s tedious tasks. But it’s a lie. You have to choose a few things, sacrifice everything else, and deal with the inevitable sense of loss that results.”
― Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

The universe could care less what you do

Here's some hard truth to swallow. You're constantly busy working like a dog to make your mark on the world, not realizing the universe doesn't care.

Maybe in the future, your friends and family will, but in the long run, you're not going to become a legend, remembered two hundred years from now for your astounding achievements and remarkable ability to keep it all together.

Perhaps it's morbid to think we're all going to die and the world will forget us, but hopefully, it can help you calm down about doing big things while alive.

If you're lucky, your family will remember you forever. Your legacy of kindness, support, and meaningful work ethic can most certainly endure. How many items you were able to check off your list every day will not.

The universe wants you to create your life and experience it in any way that might look for you.

That's it.

Should you kill yourself working for a professional legacy when you could spend more time enjoying what you've created right now?

“Cosmic insignificance therapy is an invitation to face the truth about your irrelevance in the grand scheme of things. To embrace it, to whatever extent you can. (Isn’t it hilarious, in hindsight, that you ever imagined things might be otherwise?) Truly doing justice to the astonishing gift of a few thousand weeks isn’t a matter of resolving to “do something remarkable” with them. In fact, it entails precisely the opposite: refusing to hold them to an abstract and overdemanding standard of remarkableness.”
― Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

Patience gives you power

Learning you have four thousand weeks to live may make you fear the passage of time and want to slow it all down. I'm impatient with a lot of what I want out of life, but I'm starting to see how some of the best stuff takes time to develop.

When you revel in the experience of building, practicing, and learning what you need to get where you want to go, it feels magical. Pay more attention, and time will slow down. It's like having patience with the process and appreciating everything like it's brand new.

As we age, life seems to travel by at lightning speed. Making sure to pause, meditate, smile, and give thanks when great or even not-so-great experiences occur, can help you feel life is rich and full.

And best of all, moving slower.

When you live for the now, your weeks will be longer and your life more fulfilling.

"Mortality makes it impossible to ignore the absurdity of living solely for the future."
― Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

How to get things done in your four thousand weeks

Life demands we take action no matter how much we may want to spend time relaxing and enjoying the moment. Now you know, though, there's no way to get every important item done, but you can prioritize.

Burkeman gives some ways to make the tough choices of what to focus on easier so you can get on to appreciating life more.

• Determine time boundaries for work you'll get done each day. This could be as simple as deciding how much time to spend working on a given day. Let's say you start at 8 am and choose to work until 6 pm. Within those hours are when all aspects of your work are done. When time is up, you have to stop and have leisure time. I like to schedule morning work hours from 5 am to 10 am for writing and drawing, even on the weekends. After that, I'm with my family and having fun the rest of the day.

• Focus on one large project at a time. You might think it's better to tackle all your significant projects a little, so you're gradually making progress on each, but Burkeman disagrees. If you can get used to dealing with the anxiety of not getting other projects done and working solely on one at a time, you'll do better work and have more confidence giving your all to what's most important right now.

• Use "strategic underachievement" and decide what to fail at in advance. You feel hurt when you try hard and fail at something, but you can't succeed at everything. So, decide to be okay because there will be some tasks you either can't do well right now or won't do because there's no time. Parenting takes the front seat when my daughter needs more help with homework, and I don't have the time to write for as long. I can decide to suck at being a writer for a week until she's in a better place with her projects, knowing I can get back on the keyboard soon.

• Practice doing nothing. Life keeps moving, and we feel like all we can do is roll with it. You can choose to stop and just be. People have a super hard time with this and need to pick up their phones in any open moment to scroll social media apps mindlessly. Stop, sit, and just breathe. Taking time to be mindful of yourself or meditate helps to put everything in the proper perspective and cool your jets.

Living a fulfilling four thousand weeks involves getting less done while being mindful and appreciative of what you get to do.

You don't need to do as much as you think, and training yourself to be proud of how much you can get done can upgrade your days. The classic idea of quality over quantity is what successful weeks of life are all about—time to decide what matters most to you and start living fully with the time you have.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Finding Your Purpose is Simpler Than You Think

Here’s one undeniable way to discover yours.

Photo by Jaunt and Joy on Unsplash

You’re looking to find purpose—a reason to get up in the morning or a career to fulfill your heart and soul. I know the feeling.

You try this and try that for a little while, only to be disappointed you don’t fall in love right away. “When will my calling hit me in the face and change my life for the better?” you wonder.

Come on; you can’t be serious. No Fairy Godmother of Purpose will ever appear and grant you a life of passion and meaning. Even if someone offers you a fantastic opportunity, you have to recognize it first.

A purpose can sometimes come from natural abilities or a need you feel you must fulfill from early in your life, but it’s rare. You won’t like reading this—but a purpose takes hard work and patience.

It’s not a magical gift from the gods.

Coming from writing and creating comics regularly for many years, I now know my purpose is to educate and entertain through stories and art. I didn’t hike up a mountain to the top and receive a divine message.

I discovered my purpose by doing the work.

But don’t worry, it’s not as hard as you might think. You have to make concrete decisions and stick to them. Here’s how…

Commit to something

Discovering your purpose first takes you to committing to learning and growing in a particular area or career. It’s astonishing how connected we can become to an area we choose to give ourselves to heart and soul.

What are you interested in learning and becoming the best at over many years? If you pick something that excites you and scares you a little, you’re on the right track.

Make a point to practice the skill regularly to improve, and you’ll see how it fills you with purpose, with a drive to do better and share it with the world. When you commit—essentially, take responsibility for something—it gives your life meaning.

Pretty simple, right?

I’ve loved writing for most of my life, but committing to posting articles here on Medium regularly and becoming a better writer helped cultivate my feeling of purpose. Helping inspire others to succeed now feels like my purpose through the written word.

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”

Vince Lombardi

Embrace responsibility

People run away from responsibility like it’s an evil villain chasing them in a horror movie, preferring to escape into simple, non-threatening pleasure-seeking getaways as much as possible.

If you want a purpose-driven life, you have to embrace the responsibility that goes along with that life. You can’t have one thing without the other. Accepting that there’s a price to pay for everything is a part of doing something worthwhile.

If you want to be a better writer, you’ll need to watch less TV and spend more hours on the keyboard. The more you work at it, the better you’re writing will become, then you begin to desire watching TV less as your desire to write grows. You feel like it’s your purpose.

When you, let’s say, become a parent, volunteer somewhere, commit to a relationship, take on a mortgage to buy a home or any one of a thousand other “responsibilities,” they permeate your life with purpose and meaning.

That’s the upside of responsibility no one tells you.

“Without commitment you cannot have depth in anything.”

Neil Strauss

Attract your purpose through action

It’s all on you now. Commit to growing and improving in several parts of your life that interest you.

Even if you don’t think it could be your purpose right now, you’d be amazed by how things look different once you dedicate yourself to them and become the best over time.

When I started teaching art in an elementary school, I thought I would hate it because I wasn’t making all of my money being an illustrator. There were a lot of new responsibilities to take on, like taking care of children and classroom management, and I had to learn to plan lessons and make a curriculum.

Over that first year of teaching, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed being an educator. I made time to draw comics in my off-hours, and I felt like my teaching job was making a difference to young people.

The position grew on me as I took on the commitment and handled the responsibility. You won’t always know what will be the right fit.

When you commit and work hard, your purpose finds you.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

The Life Advice I Nearly Died to Learn

It’s about more than feeling grateful to be alive.

Photo by Thomas Le on Unsplash

This article isn’t just about how precious life is—you know that already.

Going through the experience I’m about to tell you that happened because of my own lousy judgment helped me discover how to look at life and might help you too.

Here’s what started me down this road.

One late evening many years ago, after working all day, I needed to drive five hours south to visit family in Atlanta, Georgia. I was tired, exhausted even. When I look back on it, I know I shouldn’t have been driving a long distance, but I did it anyway.

It was close to midnight, driving down the highway, and I started to dose off. I wasn’t worried, though. Driving long distances is my thing. My confidence in the ability to stay awake, stay focused on the road, and make it to my destination was unshakable.

Until I fell asleep, and my car swerved to the left and hit the median.

My car spun to the right, across every lane of the highway. While spinning, my mind did exactly what I’ve heard other people explain. Time slowed down.

I was in shock, and my car was spinning. I thought another vehicle, or worse, a truck, would run into me. I figured this was it, and I would die. But I didn’t. My car slid down into a shallow ditch on the right side of the highway. I sat there frozen, staring out the window as my mind slowly crept out of the fog of shock covering me.

“I’m alive.” I thought to myself over and over again.

As a Black man sitting in the middle of nowhere Georgia late at night, I was afraid to stay there or even call the cops. Getting the car back on the road was the only option. My engine was still running, so I put it in drive and tried rolling out of the ditch.

The car moved up a little, but my ancient Honda Civic barely had enough power to get up the hill. I floored the gas pedal, and thankfully my prayers were answered as it moved up and back onto the highway.

Not taking any chances, I rolled down my windows, cranked up the radio, and drove the last hour and a half into Atlanta. The scrape on the left side of my car from hitting the median was a small price to pay for keeping my life.

During that ride post-accident, yes, I was grateful to be alive and pissed at myself for driving drowsy. But I realized something.

If things were just a little different, I’d be dead. The truth is, bad things happen and will continue to happen. We must all choose what seemingly bad events mean to us.

Accepting that it’s my responsibility to decide how to think about every event in my life is a privilege I will gladly take on. What I went through sucked, but what I learned from it is powerful.

We can make life better or worse—starting with how we want to see it.

I could have spent the entire ride punching myself in the face for not waiting until the next day, after a good night’s sleep, to drive to Atlanta. My deliberate choice was to focus on the fact that I got myself out of the ditch and back on the road.

Could I have fallen asleep again? Sure. But I decided to push through and reach my destination by ensuring I couldn’t fall asleep again. And you know what? I have never driven long distances at night while tired again. That was my choice. I learned from my mistake.

What if you feel there are no choices in life for you?

Change your perspective, and change your life

The first perspective upgrade to make is recognizing you have the power to think differently about yourself and your situation in life. You don’t have to almost die to understand how powerful changing your thinking about something can be.

I’m a big fan of accepting situations for what they are and then deciding to move forward. Going through an accident where I could have died or have been seriously injured, but didn’t, could have been all I needed to decide never to drive again. Like god was telling me, I don’t belong behind the wheel.

Of course, that’s not true. If everyone stopped driving after getting in one accident, far fewer cars would be on the road. It would be best if you built up resilience to tough times and difficult situations so you can get back in the game after hardships.

I decided to give thanks for coming out of the accident safely and understanding I must be more careful while driving. The lesson I learned helped shape me into a better driver and taught me; even small things can make a huge difference.

When you can make your mistakes into lessons and difficulties into opportunities, you can conquer anything.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” -Maya Angelou

Change your thinking now. Don’t wait.

You don’t need to risk your life to appreciate how much good you can give to the world. All you have to do is make a choice. Choose now.

Upgrading your perspective is easier than you think. Here are several ways to do it without nearly dying.

• Take a step back to see the bigger picture. Soar above your life and look at it from above to get a broader perspective. What can you change?

• Focus on what you have rather than what you’re missing.

• Practice gratitude. Even the smallest blessings are worth your attention.

• Try out new things. Stretch yourself with new hobbies or activities. You’ll be forced to open your mind and see life anew.

If something like an accident or health-scare hasn’t happened to you yet, it most likely will. I know that’s morbid to think about, and I apologize. But, staring at death in the face gives you the proper perspective on life. You will discover what truly matters if you haven’t figured it out already.

Fortunately, you don’t have to go through hell to get to an epiphany about life. You can choose to make a change right now.

The power is all yours. Upgrade your perspective and choose the life you desire.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Three Sentences to Keep You Smiling When You’re Crazy Busy

Quick advice to refocus your mind

Admit it. We’ve all said, “There’s so much I have to do today!” more than we’d like. You start going through the list in your head as the stress builds like bricks piling up on your shoulders.

How can you lighten your mental load?

When I’m not teaching my students directly, there are countless responsibilities I could be taking care of while in my classroom, like planning, grading, and answering emails. Not fun and exciting, but they have to get done.

I love writing articles, and when you’re trying to keep up with a day job and family life, making time for creating can feel like a burden. Forgetting all it took to get to this place, remembering the privilege I have to do what I do each day can get lost in the shuffle of a long to-do list.

Life feels overwhelming, for sure. You do need a good attitude to make the best of it, though. Here are three phrases to help pull you back into the right mindset.

1. Stop telling yourself, you have to—say you get to

You get to write articles you enjoy that help others. The reason you have all of those tasks at work is because of all the effort you’ve put into getting there, and you get to do them.

You get to live the life you worked hard for all these years.

Does this mean you’ll never get tired, frustrated, or fed up? No. We all do at times. Finding the proper perspective on challenges in your personal and professional life can bring your mind back to a gratitude mindset.

Our attitude changes once we experience how it feels to reframe our beliefs by simply thinking differently about them. We begin feeling grateful for what we have and why we’re running around crazy.

Even family responsibilities can drive me nuts, but I smile when I think of everything I “get” to do. There was a time I was alone and dreamed of marrying the woman of my dreams. I remember wishing for a healthy child. Now that I have both, it’s easy to take them for granted.

If you’re guessing it’s because marriage and parenting are hard as hell, you’d be right. They can also be the most rewarding craziness you’ll ever get yourself into.

Keeping your blessings in mind makes getting through the tough times easier.

2. Search for the good

What are you looking for out of life? If you’re always expecting the worst, you might get it. Am I right? Why look for the bad in your everyday life when you can search for the good?

All it takes is intention. Choose to find more good than bad in your busy life or current situation.

You can see those four different projects you’re juggling at work as a chore or a good reason to show the company that you’re talented and capable. It might lead to a promotion or interesting work in the future.

One good aspect I like about being overwhelmed is it’s a learning process. Most likely, if you don’t give up, you come out on the other side with new skills or more knowledge about your limits.

You grow.

Knowing that feels good. In fact, growing as a person and giving of your talents is what life’s all about.

3. Is this necessary?

You’ve heard the phrase “Seek and ye shall find.” What if you’re seeking stress without realizing it. There could be a better way. Like, doing less or changing your schedule to give more time to breathe.

Asking yourself if the actions you take are necessary, you instantly begin thinking through why you’re doing it and if there are better strategies.

Keep in mind; there are boring tasks in just about any profession, long-term relationship, or creative field. You can minimize them by hiring someone to help, but you’ll still need to understand each facet of your business to succeed.

You should also like the business or relationship you’re in. I’m not talking about only what you create, teach, or sell. I mean what it represents.

Is this making you or the world better? If not, switch careers and enter the one that spreads more good and makes a positive difference.

It all comes down to the question, are you spending your time on things moving you forward or holding you back?

When you look at it from the lens of what actions directly benefit you, cutting out the unnecessary should get a lot easier. Stop doing what’s sucking your energy and give it to someone else. If you can’t do that, can you let it go?

Being inundated with chores and responsibilities is the way for most of our adult lives. It doesn’t have to feel laborious every second of the day.

Try looking at it differently at the moment and reframing your thinking.

Expect to get better. The more you can imagine yourself climbing a ladder to more success keeps you in a winning mindset.

And a smile on your face.

One Concept a Teacher in Art School Gave Me That Changed My Life

And could help you reach your goals.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Walking into the art studio with my finished clay project in hand, I knew it was the best work I’d done in a long time. With other classes and homework to complete that week, I didn’t put much time into this one. Still, I was sure its creativity and energy would impress my professor.

Compared with sculptures from other students in class that day, I could tell theirs looked technically better. Mine had all the vitality, though!

I might have finished it quickly, but it was eye-catching.

The professor was surely going to give me a high grade and plenty of praise. Maybe even talk about how good it is to the rest of the class.

Little did I know, I was about to learn a lesson that would stick with me for the rest of my life.

When the teacher entered and started walking around the class, checking in with each student, I was hoping she would get to me last. I wanted her to be amazed by my brilliance after looking at the others.

I could see her face as she spotted my sculpture, my powerful piece of a man in a running pose with a loose shirt moving in the wind. Her head cocked to the side as she slowly approached my table. After pausing for a brief moment, she said, “The pose is dynamic, with a nice solid structure, but make sure to put more time and effort into your craftsmanship.”

Hold on a second. What kind of praise was that?

She liked it but wanted me to spend more time on details and making it look finished; she continued telling me further to make it a better quality final product. She was basically calling it energetic rubbish.

The professor used this opportunity to turn to the class and discuss the importance of craftsmanship. Right in front of my art — clearly, the example of what not to do.

I learned the importance, that day, of putting more effort into the finished product and calming my ego.

I thought all of the energy in my work would speak for itself. I didn’t understand how evident a lack of good craftsmanship can be in what you create. Needless to say, I was embarrassed and humbled.

Craftsmanship.

This word is one I would hear many times over my art education. The importance of craftsmanship and how that separates the novice from the professional.

Paying attention to details and putting in the time to create a quality piece of art was drilled into me after that. Fortunately, I learned to organize my time and put in the work.

Other than art, I believe we can use this concept to help improve our lives.

How to craft a life you love

After twenty years of creative life both here and abroad, I’ve found living with intention instead of haphazardly here and there helps bring what you desire.

Here’s a simple way to look at crafting your life.

Craftsmanship for success

Anytime life kicks you in the rear, or you feel you’re not going in the right direction, remember to put these three points into action.

1. Taking time to plan out goals in detail by writing them down and reading them daily

Put down all the possible ways these goals could be achieved and think about what connects them. Like creating a piece of art, you’re building the sketch or rough draft of your final product, working out the kinks, and developing a vision. Reading them to yourself as if you already have them, in the present, is like magic for attracting your desires.

2. Taking calculated risks instead of running from them

There’s no way around it. You must take risks if you want to succeed. Keeping them thoughtful and careful should be a part of your detailed goals. Even if you’re afraid, you will need to step out into the unknown at some point.

3. Taking time sculpting the life you want by consistently doing the work

Moving forward with consistent action will help your skills grow and give you more chances for luck. It might take more time filled with regular, daily work than you think, but you will reach success if you’re putting in the time regularly to produce.

Even when you’ve reached your goal, you should continue forward. There is no finish line. The work, the skills you learn, and the positive influence you have on others are how you measure success. If I can learn to put more effort into crafting a beautiful piece of art and apply it to my life, you can take a similar approach.

A successful life is an art, so start sculpting yours today.

Can You Stay Who You Are While Living Overseas?

Photo by note thanun on Unsplash

I know people who believe you can never change

“If I move to another country, I’m staying myself. There’s no way I’m becoming a different person.” 

A coworker said to me after telling him about my experiences living in Japan for two years, meeting my wife, and explaining how the experience changed me for the better. I shared that I had to become a different person while living there. The look of utter disbelief on his face threw me off. 

He couldn’t see something like that happening to him. He explained further, “You never stop being who you are just because you’re in a different place. I’m always me at my core.” 

I understood where he was coming from but disagreed and couldn’t think of what to say at the time in response. I knew for a fact this person never lived overseas. How could he know? I learned that he had visited other countries, sometimes for several weeks, but never spent a year or more in one. Let alone a country in Asia. 

Living as an expat takes an open mind and a great deal of flexibility. 

I believe, to respect the culture you’re living in, you have to change some of who you are if you hope to join in and succeed. Some of it means living the saying “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” 

The other side involves making peace with becoming a different person. You can’t stop it from happening. Accepting your change doesn’t make you weak. 

If you’re a good person at heart, I think you can stay you deep down, but you will grow and evolve. I’ve seen how living abroad can change people for the worse and how they can even surprise themselves. 

As soon as you leave a familiar environment and accept the fact that you’re not going back to it anytime soon, you change. 

The jolt of culture shock hits right after arriving in Japan.  

I moved to Osaka to teach English in Junior High Schools with the JET Programme. My interest in learning about the country, culture, and language brought me there. The application process for JET took almost a year, so I was thrilled when I was accepted and finally arrived.

JET chooses where to place you but gives you the option of living in the city, suburbs, or countryside. I’m not a big city person, so I chose the suburbs. Even though I knew very little Japanese, I figured there would be enough people who spoke English there to help me settle into life. 

I was wrong.

Another JET teacher who lived in a town nearby was sent to my little area of Shimamoto, thirty minutes north of Osaka city by train, to help show me the basics. The apartment JET chose for me was old and unfurnished. I had to shop for futon mattresses, no western-style bed, that I would roll out every night to sleep right on the tatami mat floor. Totally different from how I slept in the U.S.  

August, one of the hottest months in Japan, and my air conditioning unit was broken. I met the other JET teacher in town, and she told me I could buy a new one, but it might take a few days to get it delivered and installed. Of course, she, or someone who could speak Japanese, would need to come with me to buy one.

I remember crying alone that night thinking, “What have I done?” Traveled across the world from Atlanta, Georgia, to Osaka, Japan, without friends or family to live in an old hot, and humid apartment without air conditioning. The culture shock hit me hard. 

Someone had to help me open a bank account, teach me how to get around on the subway. I worked in a school where I was the only non-Japanese person and couldn’t understand what anyone said.

Needless to say, I was uncomfortable. Living with discomfort was my everyday reality.   

Did this change me? How could you say it wouldn’t? 

I had experience with living abroad as a youth. My father worked as a diplomat, and I was fortunate to live in countries like Germany and the Bahamas during my middle school years. Moving to Germany was difficult because I didn’t speak the language. It was scary going out with family and not knowing what people were saying. 

The way of life was similar enough to America I found. People were a little more reserved and private than in Georgia and took a long time to get to know you. Over time, I learned to understand the people and culture. I got the idea that the language barrier and having patience with settling in was the most challenging part about living in another country.     

Traveling to live in Japan as an adult changed me even further. I was still me, but I discovered there can be much more to adjusting to a place when it’s very different than anywhere you’ve lived before. 

I truly became a new version of myself.

If I had time to explain all of this to my coworker and condense it down clearly and concisely, I wonder if he would see my side? 

Yes. You could be stubborn. Try and decide to behave like nothing in this new country can change you. I have a few ways this might prove difficult, however. Especially if you live in an Asian country where so much is so different. 

The rules of polite society force you to change. 

When you meet new people in Japan, you bow instead of shake hands. If you decide that just isn’t you and try to force a handshake, it will come off as odd or worse, rude. Not only do you bow, but you must learn not to bow too low depending on who you’re with. If you’re with a manager or an elder and you only give a little head nod, you’ll look like you’re being disrespectful. 

Learning these specific cultural rules was exciting to me, but I didn’t catch on all that fast. I can’t even count the number of times I bent my head down low to bow for the principal at my school, and someone pulled me aside later to let me know, “Your bow. It was too low.”

Eventually, I learned but let me tell you, I still make mistakes today. Not growing up with this custom means it isn’t second nature and can be frustrating at times. Learning how to bow is a part of living in Japan; you must learn.   

You are seen as a foreigner and not a citizen.

As an expat in Japan, you’re seen as a minority, even though you might have been part of the majority in your home country. Several white friends of mine had a real hard time with this realization. They stood out everywhere and weren’t used to it. 

They were seen as exotic and strange yet cool and interesting but not looked at as equals. Not as Japanese. If you don’t look Asian, you will be seen as a foreigner immediately—you can’t blend in. Even if you’ve lived in Japan for thirty years. 

You start to see yourself differently. Wondering what you can do to fit in. Learning to speak Japanese to communicate better or working for a Japanese company might help. Perhaps, but on the outside, you’ll still look foreign—different.

What might this do to you over a long period of time? Thinking it won’t mold you into a different person isn’t realistic. 

Getting away with more than in your home country.

Looking different and being a foreigner in Japan has its advantages as well. You can get away with not following some of the rules of society in ways Japanese people can’t. No one will expect you to be an expert with all the rules of Japanese society. 

Some Japanese friends you make may feel envious of how much more relaxed your life can be in Japan compared to theirs. 

When my wife and I were visiting Tokyo several years ago, we had our suitcase with us after checking out of our hotel but wanted to do more sightseeing. A major hotel chain in the area we wanted to explore had a line of people, staying at the hotel, no doubt, giving their bags over to be held until they checked in. I had the idea to act like we were staying there and ask them to hold our suitcase until we come back in a few hours.

My Japanese wife, thought it wouldn’t work, especially if she’s with me. As a tall Black man from America, I could probably get away with it by myself, though. I had to try. 

Sure enough, I got in line, fully expecting someone to ask me which room I’m staying in or to show proof I checked in at the hotel, but no. They just smiled, took my bag, and gave me a return ticket—as my wife watched in amazement at a distance.

This is called a “Gaijin Smash” by some expats. When you take advantage of a situation, most Japanese citizens can’t because you know you won’t get in trouble. The word “gaijin” is slang for foreigners. This fact makes overseas travelers say and do things they never would at home, somewhat like foreigner privilege. 

There’s no way I would have tried something like this in America. I felt a bit guilty for flexing my foreign powers, but we were able to enjoy the rest of the day without lugging our suitcase around. When I came to pick my bag up, they happily returned it free of charge with no questions asked. 

The fact that this is possible changes you. You rationalize and try to make it okay by thinking of all your frustrations with living in the country. Reviewing in your head the times you didn’t fit in, made mistakes, and embarrassed yourself. The studying like crazy to learn the language and never speaking quite fluently enough. “I deserve some breaks every now and then.” you think. 

Living in Japan is hard. Making a life for yourself is challenging anywhere, let alone in a foreign country. 

The expat exceptionalism can consume you. Unless you paid attention to how you’ve changed and decided what stays and what goes, it could turn you into a monster. Recognizing the privilege that comes with being different in Japan means thinking deeply about your actions and who you are. 

I don’t think I did as much of that before Japan.  

Allowing people who are different from us to open our minds. 

Learning to live in another culture can help you appreciate differences and see people for who they are as humans. Because of this, you’re forced to look in the mirror at yourself and your beliefs. In fact, that can be the most challenging part of travel. 

My coworker may feel like living abroad could never change him, but it’s inevitable. You will change. 

If you live in Europe, maybe not as much. Surely, you will need to adjust to different cultural expectations there, too, and different attitudes towards world politics, religion, and relationships. You will still grow and change.   

If we can see that as a good side effect to travel and accept rather than reject how we’ve adapted to new environments, our tolerance for differences will grow. I hope more people will spend time in other countries and take on the personal growth involved in living abroad. 

You can read Khalid Birdsong’s comic strip inspired by his experiences living in Japan at www.friedchickenandsushi.com 

One Habit a Day- To feel like you again

Facing this pandemic while working through the anger, fear, and pain associated with the murders of black people in America, as a black male myself, is exhausting. There are times I want to be alone to process it all, and times I want to dive deeper into my work to escape.

There’s so much to do. Work responsibilities aren’t stopping, and focus must be given to them, whether we want to or not. I also know there’s so much that could be done to help the country right now.

Speaking out against systemic racism and police brutality through writing and art. Leaving the house, mask on, to protest with the masses. I want to be everywhere all the time.

It’s overwhelming. Sometimes, I can’t even remember who I am anymore.

If you’re feeling like me, I think it’s an excellent time to let some expectations go and to simplify your days. You cannot accomplish what you could back before the world drove off a cliff.

Complete one habit in the morning for a quick win

Definition of habit

1 : a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior.

- Her habit of taking a morning walk

Will you wake up early to write for an hour? Make that your one habit of conquering in the mornings to ignite your fire. Perhaps, you enjoy going for a run because exercise helps to clear your mind. Schedule the time when you will get up and put everything in place to make sure you do it.

Write your morning plan the night before and leave it out where you can see it when you wake up. Take out your running gear so you can put it on right away and take off.

Picking one habit that you know you can complete in the morning will give you the confidence to face these challenges. The challenges we’re all emotionally wading through each day. Give yourself as much space as you can each day to just be with it all.

An excerpt from the book by Nicolas Cole and Dr. Matthew Jones, “Slow Down, Wake Up,” states:

“You’re not supposed to function every single second of every single day at 100%. Anyone who tells you otherwise, including yourself, needs greater self-compassion.”

One is enough

If your one morning habit was all you could bring yourself to complete today, let that be okay.

Pick one thing to accomplish professionally and personally each day, then celebrate it.

For the days when you’re feeling down, let completing that one habit fill you with pride. It shows you can accomplish something important to you. You might find that it gives you the energy to work on another one of your things.

The point is to keep your expectations low right now in these difficult times. Do only what you can but plan to do at least one crucial daily habit to move your life or career forward.

One thing a day, can become a habit, help you process heavy emotions, and lead to more professional wins in the future.