Add More Procrastination to Your Writing Process

How going with the flow can sometimes make things easier.

The author in the middle of the writing process.

Writers know what they want to say and write down their thoughts quickly. Right?

Wrong!

Tonight, I sat down to write a new article with a loose outline and no idea of an exciting story to use as my lead-in.

I procrastinated and read a bunch of articles on Medium, checked social media, and then fell asleep in my recliner.

You read that right. I fell asleep.

Napping with the laptop right on my lap.

Twenty minutes later, I woke up, wiped the drool off my mouth, and read through my outline draft.

An idea finally came to me, so I went with it, researched, and continued writing for another hour.

Not very disciplined, but it was good enough to get the job done this time.

Productivity and being a “good writer” can look different for everyone.

The process isn’t always smooth and can look messy and even lazy. If it works, though, it works.

Relax and do it your way.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Movies Are Too Damn Long

Why not simplify and tell better stories, Hollywood?

Photo by tommao wang on Unsplash

Going to the movies feels like work now.

You have to sit through twenty minutes of previews; then, you already feel like it’s time to use the restroom when the movie actually starts.

Are you with me in wishing Hollywood would get better at telling more succinct stories? Let’s keep them at under two hours, please.

Whatever happened to an hour and a half? The amount of time to pull you in, present the characters and problem, take you through the climax and finish with a nice tying up of loose ends. Ah! That used to feel good.

Not anymore. Hollywood wants us to go back into movie theaters but gives us films longer than our commutes to work and back. Who wants to spend three hours in a big room with other germy humans, talking and checking their phones, when you could be at home?

Not only your comfort zone, but home is where you have all the power to pause, rewind, or shut off the movie you’re streaming whenever needed.

You’re not trapped in a box with a bunch of strangers.

Movies don’t have to be so long

You know it’s possible to cut out the majority of that three-hour movie you just watched, but the directors didn’t. In fact, they probably cut hours of footage to keep it under four.

I love how much we can do with special effects and how Hollywood is better at making quality movies now than thirty years ago, but I believe people are tired. Yes, from the pandemic and world affairs, but emotionally exhausted as well. Can we have a short escape that doesn’t vacuum our free time?

That’s probably why more people are watching YouTube videos. Give me a fifteen-minute piece of entertainment, where I can choose whether or not to watch another afterward, is golden. Having the power to decide how to use your entertainment time is compelling.

Believe it or not, I love going to the movies. Watching on the big screen and only having one thing to focus on for a couple of hours is magical. I can follow the story more leisurely and appreciate the hard work and creativity the cast and crew put into it.

If you’re making a marathon-length film, you have to expect some people to miss parts of the story. Either you’re leaving to use the restroom or zoning out while watching, thinking about when to get up and go to the bathroom.

Am I obsessed with having the freedom to relieve myself during a movie? Yes. There should be no shame in using the bathroom, but extremely long movies make you scared you’re going to miss something important. If you stay seated and push through, you’re uncomfortable and not enjoying it the way you should.

Bring back the intermission

Let’s treat going to the movies like watching a play. Please give us an intermission. You know you need a break between all the action and plot points to use the restroom and stretch your legs.

We take way too long for the entire story arc to play out nowadays, and viewers are left twiddling their thumbs while thinking about when to get up to go pee.

You have to sit longer than ever now because most Marvel movies, for example, have post-credit scenes. You have 20–30 minutes of sitting to watch a 30-second teaser that connects to the next film.

I love that this gives people a chance to read the credits and understand how many people it takes to make that special effects blockbuster you just watched, but it’s a considerable time investment we shouldn’t feel sad about missing.

If you know there’ll be an intermission, deciding to go to a movie theater will be more manageable and less stressful.

Give us our time back

We have enough devices and screens vying for our time and attention these days. While watching a movie in the theaters, you may stay focused on one thing, but so much of your day is sucked away by how long they are. For some people, I can see why they would opt out.

With our busy lives, it’s tough to devote half your day to go to the movies. There’s so much you’re missing or could be doing.

When you shorten movies and give more bang in less time, people feel like their time was well spent. I didn’t even bring up the giant elephant in the room—what if the movie sucks?

You’re spending hours of your life watching something terrible. Walking out of the theater in shock at how poorly you spent your time and how badly Hollywood just wasted it.

I’m looking for better, shorter, and more creative ways to tell stories, so we don’t have to devote our entire lives to our favorite movies or franchises. One upside to a shorter film is wanting more when the credits roll.

Remember that feeling?

We sure don’t have much of that anymore. When a movie is done playing through nowadays, we breathe a sigh of relief. “Phew! We made it through!”

The only exception is animated movies. Am I the only one going into one with less weight on my shoulders, knowing it will be a fun experience and over relatively quickly?

I’m sure animation studios would make three-hour movies if it didn’t take a bajillion years to make one. Sometimes the constraints of the creative arts can be a good thing.

Movies are too damn long, and making them last longer does not equal higher quality. From now on, I’m giving more props to the ones that can put it all together beautifully in under two hours.

Let’s see if Hollywood is up to the challenge.

Want more? If you’re struggling with doing original work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can upgrade your mindset and share your art with the world.

Finding Your Purpose is Simpler Than You Think

Here’s one undeniable way to discover yours.

Photo by Jaunt and Joy on Unsplash

You’re looking to find purpose—a reason to get up in the morning or a career to fulfill your heart and soul. I know the feeling.

You try this and try that for a little while, only to be disappointed you don’t fall in love right away. “When will my calling hit me in the face and change my life for the better?” you wonder.

Come on; you can’t be serious. No Fairy Godmother of Purpose will ever appear and grant you a life of passion and meaning. Even if someone offers you a fantastic opportunity, you have to recognize it first.

A purpose can sometimes come from natural abilities or a need you feel you must fulfill from early in your life, but it’s rare. You won’t like reading this—but a purpose takes hard work and patience.

It’s not a magical gift from the gods.

Coming from writing and creating comics regularly for many years, I now know my purpose is to educate and entertain through stories and art. I didn’t hike up a mountain to the top and receive a divine message.

I discovered my purpose by doing the work.

But don’t worry, it’s not as hard as you might think. You have to make concrete decisions and stick to them. Here’s how…

Commit to something

Discovering your purpose first takes you to committing to learning and growing in a particular area or career. It’s astonishing how connected we can become to an area we choose to give ourselves to heart and soul.

What are you interested in learning and becoming the best at over many years? If you pick something that excites you and scares you a little, you’re on the right track.

Make a point to practice the skill regularly to improve, and you’ll see how it fills you with purpose, with a drive to do better and share it with the world. When you commit—essentially, take responsibility for something—it gives your life meaning.

Pretty simple, right?

I’ve loved writing for most of my life, but committing to posting articles here on Medium regularly and becoming a better writer helped cultivate my feeling of purpose. Helping inspire others to succeed now feels like my purpose through the written word.

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”

Vince Lombardi

Embrace responsibility

People run away from responsibility like it’s an evil villain chasing them in a horror movie, preferring to escape into simple, non-threatening pleasure-seeking getaways as much as possible.

If you want a purpose-driven life, you have to embrace the responsibility that goes along with that life. You can’t have one thing without the other. Accepting that there’s a price to pay for everything is a part of doing something worthwhile.

If you want to be a better writer, you’ll need to watch less TV and spend more hours on the keyboard. The more you work at it, the better you’re writing will become, then you begin to desire watching TV less as your desire to write grows. You feel like it’s your purpose.

When you, let’s say, become a parent, volunteer somewhere, commit to a relationship, take on a mortgage to buy a home or any one of a thousand other “responsibilities,” they permeate your life with purpose and meaning.

That’s the upside of responsibility no one tells you.

“Without commitment you cannot have depth in anything.”

Neil Strauss

Attract your purpose through action

It’s all on you now. Commit to growing and improving in several parts of your life that interest you.

Even if you don’t think it could be your purpose right now, you’d be amazed by how things look different once you dedicate yourself to them and become the best over time.

When I started teaching art in an elementary school, I thought I would hate it because I wasn’t making all of my money being an illustrator. There were a lot of new responsibilities to take on, like taking care of children and classroom management, and I had to learn to plan lessons and make a curriculum.

Over that first year of teaching, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed being an educator. I made time to draw comics in my off-hours, and I felt like my teaching job was making a difference to young people.

The position grew on me as I took on the commitment and handled the responsibility. You won’t always know what will be the right fit.

When you commit and work hard, your purpose finds you.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

Three Scientific Reasons to Smile More Every Day

What does a smile really mean in the grand scheme of things?

Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

Imagine you’re walking by a person on the street. They look you in the eyes and give you a big smile. I bet you feel better already. The energy of that smile travels over and makes you smile back. 

It’s infectious, and I bet it’s what you need right now.

But, why?

Yes, life is challenging all over the world in these uncertain times. Everyone is battling something and could use a little pick-me-up in the energy department, but there’s more to it than that. 

You need to know that a smile is possible right now. It’s a sign of hope. 

When you see someone else filled with joy, you know it’s possible for you too. Even if you don’t have anything on your mind to smile about, the act is simple. 

Smiling is something you can do for yourself anytime, even if you’re not feeling happy at the moment, and it leads you down the road to more positive energy. Even if your life is full of things you can’t do, you know you can, as the saying goes, turn that frown upside down. 

Smiling takes effort, though. Why should you bother? Isn’t it better to walk around with a mean mug, so others know you’re about business? 

Here are three reasons you should make a point to smile more each day.

A smile lifts you when you’re feeling down

When you’ve been upset about something, how often do you think about cracking a smile? Not much, I’m pretty sure, but making a point to smile can help quickly pull you out of your funk.

Scientific studies suggest a smile can trick your brain into thinking you’re happy. Your body will produce endorphins, a natural painkiller, to alleviate your sadness.

Researchers at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, and Texas A&M, wrote a paper looking at 50 years of data testing whether facial expressions can lead people to feel emotions connected to those expressions.

Nicholas Coles, a UT Ph.D. student in social psychology and lead researcher on the paper, found these results:

Using a statistical technique called meta-analysis, Coles and his team combined data from 138 studies testing more than 11,000 participants from all around the world. According to the results of the meta-analysis, facial expressions have a small impact on feelings. For example, smiling makes people feel happier, scowling makes them feel angrier, and frowning makes them feel sadder.

Making a point to smile more, especially in difficult times, could be just what you need.

A smile helps ease your anxiety 

Feeling anxious is pretty much standard these days. There’s so much to worry about. It’s no wonder people are doing all they can to escape their emotions, like drinking liquor and taking anti-anxiety drugs. Why not try a simple smile?

Smiling helps to relieve stress and calm anxiety.  

It might sound silly, but if you treat smiling like exercise for your mouth muscles, I bet you’d remember to do it more. It feels like it takes more effort than a frown when I smile for no reason, and my mouth needs me to keep it turned up, or it falls back into that flat neutral zone.

The more you smile, the stronger and easier it gets to do the action, and the better you’ll feel. Associating what makes you anxious as a negative is most likely part of the cause of your fears. If we smile while thinking about what’s giving us anxiety, it can become more of a favorable opportunity in our minds.

It is similar to an area of growth or chance to prove you have what it takes to succeed in life or your day-to-day work. 

A smile can help you live a longer life

The secret to a long life has a smile a day included in its ingredients. Yes, there are plenty of angry older people, but for the most part, growing old takes looking at life with the proper perspective. You have to see the positive and smile in response to help your attitude remain light and keep a youthful mind.

There’s something about using your facial muscles to smile that turns up the number of years you live. 

A research project at Wayne State University was done in 2010, tracking the longevity of baseball players who smiled in their baseball cards. This study found that the span of a player’s smile could predict their life span. 

Players who didn’t smile in their pictures lived an average of only 72.9 years, while players with beaming smiles lived an average of 79.9 years. Not a huge difference, I know, but my guess is the smiling players had a better quality of life and isn’t that what really matters?

How you feel about yourself and the life you’re creating is an essential part of waking up and facing your days. 

Keep smiling to uplift your life

Make a decision right now to remember to smile. I’m not talking about just every time you see someone, more about when you’re alone, even when you’re on your laptop getting work done. Remember to smile. Are you driving to work?

Smile.

You know it feels magnificent, but how come you don’t make a point to smile more throughout the day? Yeah, maybe smiling when you’re alone looks ridiculous, but who cares. A smile is a reward for all the stress and strife you’re facing in uncertain times. Give yourself that gift and get over how it may look to others. 

Remind yourself to smile, almost like you remember to stretch or workout. You’ll feel better, and when you pass someone else and help them lighten up, they’ll probably end up smiling too. 

Spreading joy has never been more effortless.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

Why You Need to Build Calluses on Your Brain to Succeed in Life

How one quote by David Goggins could help you embrace suffering

Photo courtesy of intellectualsinsider.com.

One of the most brutal truths to accept: suffering is something everyone experiences in life, and you are not immune. But you can get stronger.

Feeling disappointment when bad things happen is usual, and it can almost feel like, however, you're a victim of bad karma. Like all of this shouldn't be happening to you.

Let's get real here, going through hard times, heartbreak, and unforeseen challenges will occur regularly and most likely break your spirit. Staying strong through it all takes strength and confidence, but most of all, determination.

How can you not let the crap of life drag you down the drain with it?

Look at suffering as an edge

Whenever I hear David Goggins speak or read his stern but encouraging words, it puts everything in the proper perspective. Tough to take in at times, but core strengthening.

David Goggins is an ultramarathon runner, ultra-distance cyclist, triathlete, motivational speaker, and author if you don't know him. He's a retired United States Navy SEAL and former United States Air Force Tactical Air Control Party member who served in Afghanistan and the Iraq War.

Goggins is a former world record holder for the most pull-ups done in 24 hours (4,030 to be exact). Crazy, right?! His self-help memoir, Can't Hurt Me, was released in 2018 and is chock full of inspirational quotes to help you take action and live the life of a warrior.

Becoming just like him is not the goal—there's no way I could even come close—but becoming stronger to face whatever life throws at you is definitely where you should want to grow.

Here's his way to think about this:

“You have to build calluses on your brain just like how you build calluses on your hands. Callus your mind through pain and suffering.” David Goggins

When you're familiar with suffering and confident you can move forward, you have an edge in life even while in pain.

Hardening your resolve when challenges face you, and they will, gives you the confidence to say, "I've been through worse; I can take this." You aren't as phased by pain and setbacks the way others are.

If you go through hell, you don't expect to live in heaven at all times.

Seek challenges to learn how to face hard times

In what I've read from David Goggins, he believes you have to suffer from growing, and there's no way around it. This idea resonated with me, but I wouldn't say I liked the feeling it gave at first.

You know intellectually you will not succeed at everything, but you hope never to experience disappointment or failure. It doesn't add up. I had to accept that the good of life comes with the bad—even though I wanted to feel like it should be easy and fun.

Goggins says you should train yourself to get stronger by seeking out challenging goals and pushing hard towards achieving them. You'll go through pain, but come out with those calluses to keep you moving forward.

They say life is a marathon and not a sprint, and well, I think it's more of an Iron Man Triathlon. It would be best to excel in many different areas, from managing your emotions to developing and growing employable skills while keeping a positive outlook on life.

It's not simple, but you can succeed at just about anything when you understand you have the power already inside you.

Start running into your fear zone today

You will become great if you can get through doing all the crap you hate to do. This idea is one Goggins believes, and I've seen work in my life.

Living through health problems and job losses was difficult, but I have to admit that facing rejection regularly is one of the toughest.

As a creative person, rejection is something you must become acquainted with, almost like it's a family member you tolerate. Submitting articles to publications and hearing it's not fit for them, or putting a piece of art out there no one responds to, or even worse gives negative comments about, is a nightmare.

You can't make the possibility of rejection stop you from sharing your work or who you truly are. I like to call my feeling of uncertainty a "Fear Zone." When I notice my reluctance to submit or put something out in the world I worked hard on, I tell myself to run, not walk, into that fear zone.

When something doesn't go how you planned, or someone tells you no, it feels crappy. Sure, you can feel upset and even get mad and depressed, but you must rise again at some point.

When you've built up the mental muscles to handle your disappointments, do the uncomfortable work, and still walk through fear, you may fail many times, but at some point, you will succeed.

Take a tip from David Goggins and start building those mental calluses today.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

Why Japanese Couples Never Say “I Love You”

How genuine will it sound if you say it all the time?

Photo by DLKR on Unsplash

In America, you dream of dating that perfect someone with hopes of hearing them say, “I love you.” Not only once but every day after. Gazing into your eyes and speaking those three magical words confirms the connection you both have for each other and also puts you at ease.

You know they want to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. All because of saying one little phrase.

It’s not the same in every country. I learned from living in Japan for two years, dating my wife, and now visiting with her for the past twenty—actions speak louder than words.

Saying “I love you” every day if you’re Japanese dilutes the feeling behind the words. I was surprised to learn couples there feel like you should show and not tell.

Or, you could look like a liar—someone who’s hiding something.

Why say the words when your deeds and actions make it very clear how you feel? Even in a Japanese family, you don’t have to show affection and use words to let loved ones know they mean a lot to you. Hugging and kissing all over your spouse? Nope. Telling your children, you love them? No way.

The fact that your delicious dinner was prepared with care and noticing the perfect way your clothes were folded neatly says it all. Picking up something your wife dropped right away and holding the door for her as you walk into a store are impressive gestures of love.

Even the tone of your voice to your partner speaks volumes. Small things, for sure, but vital to making your feeling for the other person clear.

I’m an affectionate person, and of course, growing up in America, I learned not only to show but to most definitely tell how I feel to express love. Learning to understand what my wife expected and needed in our relationship took time and a bit of trial and error.

Only one love language in Japan?

The idea of having different “Love Languages” popularized by author Gary Chapman in his book series, ‘The Five Love Languages’ has become well-known in the states. Some of us feel more loved when our partner tells us or gives us compliments, and others enjoy physical touch or having someone give them gifts or help them around the house.

To be clear, all of these are fantastic ways to show love, and you should add them to your relationship. Normally, though, one of them makes your partner feel loved deeply. So much so, if you don’t give love in the language they need, they could feel like you’re not meeting their needs and become unhappy or leave.

In Japan, I’m not sure it works the same. Showing your love is all about actions, and what you do and how you show your love to your partner is what matters—part of showing that love means avoiding conflict as much as possible.

Love means keeping the home a peaceful place while keeping your strong opinions quiet for the good of the family and your marriage.

Perhaps ‘The Five Love Languages’ book is translated into Japanese, but I bet the meanings are different. Can you even have a chapter on verbal compliments as a love language? Maybe it becomes the opposite — your partner loves you more, the less they actually say it.

Or, the book is just one long chapter: The Language of Action

When we were dating, I would meet my wife at a train station in Osaka to walk around together and find a place to eat. If I arrived there early, even if she weren’t late, she would be running over to me, looking rushed. Showing me how important it was for her to get there and be with me.

At first, I didn’t understand the importance of this and told her she didn’t have to run over to meet me. Especially if she’s not late, but she didn’t stop doing it. After several dates, I realized how much she cared and wanted to show me how eager she was to meet for our date. It was a sweet gesture.

My love language is more about getting affection, but over time, I grew to appreciate the power of someone I love doing and showing how much they care by treating me each day.

There’s more to love than just saying it

Anyone can say they love you, but can they show it with how they treat you day in and day out for many, many years? I have experience, but I know I’m no expert, but it seems in Japan, you get more respect if you prove love lasts without only saying words.

Life in Japan is tough. People work long hours, commute far to work, and there are pages of cultural rules you must follow to fit in and be considered a good citizen. When you can make life a little easier for your partner by reducing their stress at home or showing them someone cares about their happiness, that’s huge.

I don’t believe, though, this means every Japanese wife is quiet and docile, bowing and obeying their husbands every want and need. Every husband is silent and ignores his family. Maybe some are, but most couples learn how to express their opinions and be honest with each other in a non-threatening way to keep a loving relationship alive.

There are times when so much can be said and understood with just a look or a subtle change in tone of voice.

The ones that don’t figure it out, who yell at each other back and forth, aren’t going to last long. It’s like that in America too, you say? Yes, but in the states, it’s easier to accept the passionate release of honesty as a way of learning more about your partner down the line. It’s a part of our culture of freedom of expression.

Making it a point to not only show love but garner respect over time is paramount. Going through all the inevitable tough times, life throws at you will prove much easier when you have someone who respects you as a person by your side.

My wife and I have learned how to have a nice balance between quiet yet open honesty and showing love through actions. I bet we’re not as loud as other couples when we’re angry with each other, a lot of using the silent treatment, but we know how important we are to one another and work things out.

In terms of long-term relationships, especially in Japan, respect is even more important than a passionate love affair.

In conclusion

You can add some Japanese forms of showing love by doing more little things for your partner. Helping them put on their coat, helping them set the table for dinner, holding your opinion when they’re complaining about work.

If you’re dating someone Japanese, be open to figuring out what works for you both. Discovering how many American and Japanese style relationship pieces to add takes time and is up to you.

Holding hands with your spouse is an accepted way to show love in public in Japan physically. I remember the big deal it was to walk with my wife holding hands in the street. Even bigger because I’m a tall African American, there was no hiding in public.

We hold hands together today when in Japan while walking together and, even though it’s a small gesture, it still feels special.

My wife and I say “I love you” to each other each day, but that’s because I shared what it means to me early on in our relationship. I’m sure because I’m not Japanese makes it easier for her to accept and enjoy hearing it from her husband.

You might not fully understand how another culture handles relationships, but it doesn’t mean they’re doing it wrong. It’s just different.

Opening up to new ways of expressing love can help you and your relationships grow.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

A Keanu Reeves Quote to Remember When Life Rips You to Shreds

Hint: It’s not about becoming a supervillain.

Image courtesy of screenrant.com.

Experiencing ups and downs in your career and relationships can bring you to the point where you wonder if you should even keep trying.

Life's decisions and challenges can be like an action movie of the mind. You're dodging bullet-like events, staying strong through heartbreak and loss, while walking with your head up to keep from falling to the ground from the vertigo of events spinning around in your head.

Do you have to go through the trauma of losing your wife and exacting revenge like John Wick through a shoot-em-up flurry of gun craziness to feel like your issues have merit?

Nope.

The difficulties you face are more powerful than you're giving them credit for each day.

I've lost a sister far too young, a good friend shot and killed by the police, and took chances on jobs and creative pursuits that didn't work out and left me feeling hurt and utterly defeated.

Loss is something I'm very familiar with, but I still find a way to smile.

Friends and family think I'm always a positive, happy guy who can get through anything. I could never understand why. This quote gave me some insight and might help you too.

“If you have been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle to other living beings, then you’re a badass with a heart of an angel.”

-Keanu Reeves

The pandemic and world events have been rocking you back and forth like a ship in a storm. No one is immune to tough times right now. Please know staying a good person through it all is a testament to your strength and character.

Don't let it break you. Or, even worse, make you hate your life.

Turning to alcohol and drugs is a common way to cope. Not ideal for many reasons and a weak way to handle things, but it can make you think you're doing something to get through.

Remembering you're not a lonely action hero is better.

Find a support system of good friends or groups you can visit to talk through your pain and face it head-on. Feel your anger, shame, disappointment, and sadness so you can release it from your being.

As humans, we need a community to feel cared for and help us stay strong together. There's nothing weak about getting help.

When my youngest sister died at twenty-five years old, I was devastated. Fortunately, a friend suggested a men's support group, and I made the time to attend each week, which was transformational.

I learned about the stages of grief and accepted that some days would hurt like hell, while others would feel better, but over time, I would handle the loss with more ease.

My sister's memory is always there; missing her never goes away, but I keep her in my heart.

Joining the support group was something that would have sounded silly to me if a friend hadn't have cared enough to recommend it to me. It kept me from dealing with it all by taking drugs or other self-destructive activities.

A community can stand by your side and help lift you instead of just giving up.

If current world events aren't transforming you into a supervillain, you're pretty darn impressive. Give yourself some credit.

The truth is, as you age, everything gets more complicated. You get more responsibilities, your body breaks down, slows down, and gets tired easier.

You can toughen up, and I've seen so many seemingly weak people do it and grow the thick skin and loving heart needed to take the punches and still care for others as long as you decide in your head to overcome it all.

Owning your badassness can work wonders for your confidence. You can harden yourself on the outside while staying gentle and flexible inside.

When the guns of life are all pointing your way, know you have what it takes to keep being who you are and give the world your unique gifts.

I hope this pep talk helped upgrade your perspective.

Even heroes need a boost now and then. It's time to get out there and make Keanu proud.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

3 Mindset Shifts to Help You Hate Yourself

And motivate you to do better.

Illustrated by the author.

Being a success is overrated.

Why worry about making yourself better when the world is slowly spiraling down the toilet bowl?

Let's get real here, people.

Thinking positively does little to help your attitude anyway, and you just end up feeling like a fake. Facing reality and putting yourself down can work wonders. Take it from me, a generally positive person, at least that's what all my friends call me—I'm ready for a change.

These last few years, I survived a pandemic, watching good people die in droves even after being careful not to spend time in crowds but still end up catching covid. Wearing masks and washing hands only to still, that's right, see more people catch covid. Other self-proclaimed good folks believe they don't even need a vaccine, and it's all a hoax. They seem fine with themselves.

Meanwhile, I lose my job and have to learn to survive and find a new one while everyone else is fleeing theirs. Should I try to be happy? Make it all the better by telling myself positive mantras?

If someone can decide what life means to them and choose how to live it the way they want, even if it's ridiculous, I've opted that thinking positively is getting thrown out the window.

Here's a mindset shift that defies what self-help gurus preach, so we can start demotivating ourselves and get honest about our situations. It's time you gain power from negative self-criticism.

1. Recognize your negative cycle and give it a hug

Criticizing yourself and your appearance after waking up in the morning, looking at your sad reflection staring back, is the new motivation for success. Dominate your mind with negative talk about how you need to lose weight and exercise more.

I bet your hair looks awful. Isn't it time for a new hairdo?

Yeah, your job sucks. Who cares. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. I thought so.

Doesn't this feel good?

Destructive self-talk sculpts an image of yourself that's hard to break unless you recognize you're doing it in the first place. Embrace this downer version of you and let the Eeyore-like side shine.

What? Is all this negativity silly to you? After smelling all your garbage, you should want to clean it up.

2. See your negative self-image as a flame, and fan it

The more you fan a flame, the more it burns. It's time to grow yours into a roaring fire with negative self-talk. How bad can you make yourself feel?

Dare yourself to try. How many crappy details about your life and failures can you drum up? Life ain't always great, so stop pretending.

Give it all you got, and feel that fire rage inside. The worse you feel, the better.

You might get so enraged that you get completely sick and tired of being sick and tired. So what?

Why don't you do something about it? Oh, you're too lazy, huh?

If only you cared enough to think of times where you made the right choices and succeeded. Accept that some things in life work out, and others don't.

Feeling bad about yourself can help make you feel good.

3. Be unkind to yourself to motivate change

The other day I cursed at myself for making a wrong turn and having to re-route the directions to an appointment—one I was already late for anyway. I could have been kind and talked to my brain about how everything will be fine and work out well in the end.

But it didn't. Me being late made everything worse and upset people I care about. Maybe next time I have a meaningful engagement, I should leave super early because I suck at finding new places.

Making sure to step outside yourself and see the bad can help you know what to improve. You shouldn't hide behind positivity if you want to make real change.

You have to be unkind to yourself to know where to grow and get so upset you actually do something instead of just talking.

The end is not nigh

You have triggers that make you feel down on yourself or give up, and you might as well discover them so you know when you're spanking yourself. When we feel at our lowest, we are often about to make a breakthrough.

If you can tell when you're at rock bottom, you can be open for the moment of clarity that helps you see where to go next. Giving yourself a chance to notice what pulls you down can help you know how to climb back up. Or, better yet, how not to spiral down in the future.

Times are tough in the world right now, and we need to be tougher. You can't always fix everything by just thinking positively.

You've seen those old black and white photos of families from a hundred years ago. They weren't smiling, and they were surviving.

They didn't finish a day on the farm, working out in the hot sun, smiling, and telling themselves how happy they were. Looking in the mirror, telling themselves life can be easy and fun when life was hard. Our ancestors had very few options.

It's much easier now, but we act like it should be a breeze.

Life is still challenging, no matter how nicer our living conditions have become—facing negativity and letting it run all over you is how to understand what gets you down and leads to change.

Unless you suffer from chronic depression, you might want to see a doctor and get on medication if that's the case.

The rest of us can learn to live with our negativity and practice some grit.

Cheers to the new you.

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

4 Ways Risking Your Life to Be a Teacher Has Its Benefits

Helping others succeed while dodging covid can give you more time to do what you love.

Image courtesy of viralityfacts.com.

Teachers are leaving the profession in such ridiculous droves you would think a ticking time bomb was placed under their desks. The low pay, stress, and fear of catching covid feel like a career in education could blow up in your face.

If you’ve got the guts to stare at possible death in the face while wearing a mask all day, teaching could give you more of what you want out of life. Does this sound crazy? Sure. We’re living in a time where going to work and catching covid could kill you.

Ignoring this fact is unrealistic.

There’s risk everywhere nowadays. If you’re privileged enough to believe everyone can work remotely from home and stay away from other people, you should open your eyes. No matter what variant of covid is going around, everyone needs to pay the bills.

Most workers have to stay afloat by showing up to work on-site, hopefully fully vaccinated. Teaching, like any profession, has its positives and negatives, but if you look at it in the right way, it is still a pretty darn good job.

It’s time we diffuse the bomb and take another look at why teaching is the most remarkable career in these uncertain times.

1. You give a lot but get so much more in return

Imagine a job where you get to help young people learn new skills and information that will prepare them for their future. I bet, if you’re not a teacher, that doesn’t sound all that great at first. Maybe something for a kind friend you have who’s always volunteering their time to others, but not you.

Watching someone grow into a more intelligent, mature, and confident individual is more fulfilling than you might realize. I didn’t even know how fulfilling it could be at first.

I loved drawing comics and dreamed of becoming a famous cartoonist when I was a kid. My mother was a teacher, and there was no way I would become a teacher too. In my mind, teaching would mean I failed as an artist.

No thanks.

After graduating from college with a degree in graphic design, I began freelancing with a portfolio more tailored towards illustration. Finding a full-time illustration job didn’t work out, and I fell into teaching art in elementary school.

I knew I would hate it and expected it to suck—the magic of sharing my skills with kids and seeing them grow as artists were infectious. I fell in love with teaching.

My students said thank you to me regularly, and I felt like teaching gave back so much more than entertaining people with my illustrations and comics ever could.

It’s true. If you want to make a difference in the world—teach.

2. Low pay but more time off to do what you love

Here’s the thing, according to a recent study by the RAND Corporation, nearly one out of four teachers in the U.S. considered leaving their job by the end of the school year because of work-related stress and low pay.

Teaching ain’t easy these days.

If you can put your heart into your work by giving more focus to how you’re helping students, you may stay in the profession longer. One way to balance out the hard work is with generous vacation time.

Time for your hobbies and side hustles. With two weeks off during the holidays, a week at spring break, and two months off in the summer, not to mention every other major holiday, you can make time for doing your hobbies.

In essence, you’re getting paid for an entire year but only working full-time for nine months.

One part of teaching that shocks me to this day is how exhausted I am when these vacations come around—like borderline burnt out. Of course, the level of depletion you experience depends on where you’re teaching and what you go through each day. In some situations, school systems, student bodies, and faculty can be better or worse than others.

Teaching can truly take it out of you, but if you have something creative you love to do, it can give you the time to work on your projects. Not just during time off, but each working day. You are the one running your classes and deciding when to grade or plan outside of instructional hours, so your personal time is flexible.

Maybe you have a principal peeking over your shoulder every minute, but I doubt it. Most likely, though, teaching feels more like running your own business. There are always requirements to meet and people to please, but you can make the most of your time the way you choose.

Even when the days are tough, teachers are creative and can lighten the mood to keep everyone sane with a bit of insanity.

Image courtesy of viralityfacts.com.

3. Teachers can leave the profession and come back

There’s no corporate ladder, so you can do something else and return to teaching in your exact position. In fact, the experience you’ll bring with you from your other career could enhance what you teach your students. You might have to move to a new school or district, but that could help you negotiate a higher salary.

If you’re looking to transition into another field, you have time to study or build a business while teaching. The schedule is predictable, so you can efficiently plan and use your off time.

I spent three years freelance writing in my off time and then took a copywriting job with a tech company in silicon valley.

At that time, I was ready for a new challenge. I felt the need to grow as a writer and learn new skills, so I made a move, knowing full well I could go back to teaching if necessary.

The pandemic hit almost two years later, and BAM, I lost my job—going back to education was a lifesaver.

I could bring what I learned in the corporate world and, along with teaching art, help by working with communications and marketing of the school. It’s a blast combining my love of the arts and storytelling with writing and sharing content.

After several more years, who knows, perhaps work writing or drawing opportunities may come up. I could leap again to help grow and learn new skills, knowing I have years of experience in education to fall back on.

Even though the trend nowadays seems to be either quitting your job or working for only a year, I like staying for 2–3 years if possible. You learn the ropes and have more time for deeper connections with coworkers and students.

Teaching at a school isn’t the only way to be an educator, though.

4. Teachers can work everywhere

You can teach in a classroom at a school if that’s your goal, but there are plenty of opportunities online. Remote learning is enormous and most likely here to stay. Many professionals will take courses remotely via zoom, and schools need people who understand designing and building a curriculum.

If you want to go corporate, companies need teachers to help train new employees. Even in sales, having experience speaking in front of a group and clearly explaining the benefits of products is not something everyone can do well. Teaching experience gives you advantages.

As we get a better hold on the pandemic, more jobs will open teaching overseas where you can experience another country and culture. I lived in Japan teaching English for two years and absolutely loved my time there.

Getting a chance to live in such a beautiful country, learn the language, and even meet my wife made me appreciate the doors a teaching career can open for you.

If you look at your career in education as an excellent way to learn new skills and grow as a person, you can move into just about any job. The issue right now is with staying healthy and avoiding getting covid.

Comparing your career to an adventure may sound extreme, but in a lot of ways, it’s true. You have to be ready for the twists and turns but stay open to where it can take you, and I say it’s worth the risks.

If you’re a teacher who sees the benefits of your profession, take hold of the possibilities and explore your options. You’re in demand. Maybe you’re someone who enjoys helping others and can transition into a career in education. I say go for it.

Where will you decide to teach next?

Want more? If you’re struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

This Star Wars Fight Scene Shows You How to Live in The Moment

Start behaving like a Jedi to embrace the here and now.

Image screenshot of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, property of Disney and Lucasfilm.

Modern life can feel like a battle at times. Ongoing work and responsibilities wear you down to a point where you can't even remember who you are anymore.

You feel like a robot, or a droid from Star Wars, carrying out your programming with the sole purpose of serving others. How can you stay connected to who you are and lead a more balanced life?

Watching one of my favorite fight scenes in Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace always reminds me of an important truth I think will help you when life gets overwhelming.

I'll admit, it's not the best overall movie, but the fight choreography when Qui-gon Jinn and Obi-Wan fight Darth Maul mixed with that banging Duel of the Fates score is pretty badass.

I always get caught by Qui-gon's decision to meditate during a break in the lightsaber battle—a decisive moment that displays a lot about his character and how we can handle stressful situations.

If you don't remember the scene, take a look here. The part I'm talking about is at the 2-minute mark.

Qui-gon Jinn is in the literal fight of his life, and what does he do when barriers block him from advancing on Darth Maul? He decides to sit and pay attention to the moment.

Breathing, and most likely visualizing his next moves, but doing it calmly and peacefully—moving away from anxiety and fear through meditation.

On the other hand, Darth Maul paces back and forth impatiently, grimacing at Qui-gon like an animal starving for blood. This is one of the few times in a Star Wars film where I can actually feel the difference between being a Sith and a Jedi beyond just the visuals.

The fact that Qui-gon loses and ultimately gets stabbed is, of course, heartbreaking, but because we love what he stands for as a true Jedi master, we're moved by his death.

You're right there with Obi-Wan when he screams and runs in after the barrier opens to shred it up with Darth.

Does this mean meditation is useless? Qui-gon Jinn lost after all. Maybe he should have stayed standing up inside that red force field, staring at Darth Maul while gritting his teeth in frustration.

Or, perhaps it's all about how Qui-gon decided to live his life while alive.

You can admire his choice, and it's clear he understood the possible consequences involved in the battle. He was fighting highly trained evil and could most likely die. I'm sure he was in this situation many times before, but he kept centered and focused.

Qui-gon lost that Darth Maul battle, but he won being a master Jedi in control of his emotions through mindfulness.

We never know the outcome of the risks we take in life, but we should still take them. Pausing and paying attention to the present moment can help make you stronger and get you through it all with grace.

Here's how to think like a Jedi and become one with the force.

You can accept the truth in the present moment

If a Jedi can stop in the middle of a lightsaber duel to sit and meditate, you have the same choice when challenges feel insurmountable. Make sure to pause and pay attention to your thinking and emotions to handle how to proceed.

If the force is all around us, why not tap into its energy by sitting in silence for several minutes? People, most likely, are afraid to look at reality with honesty. If your situation sucks, it's OK to accept it so you can figure out what to do about it.

Sometimes keeping busy and filling up time with unnecessary duties might feel like it's helping you cope, but it's probably slowing you down. I like how this idea is addressed in Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now."

“Accept — then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

-Eckhart Tolle

Qui-gon knew the dangers of being an elite Jedi warrior and accepted the idea that battles are uncomfortable situations where you could be killed. Even with that acceptance, he charged forward, giving the fight his all.

Make mindfulness time into a habit

Our technology might not be as advanced as in the Star Wars universe, but we can set timers that remind us to be mindful. I know there are apps for this and even writing sticky notes you can place on your laptop, any way you choose, make meditation a habit.

Even if it means remembering to stop what you're doing when you're stressed and taking three deep breaths, you'll feel the benefits.

You can see things for what they are, essential and nuanced, but not the end of the world.

“The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life. The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what “is.”

-Eckhart Tolle

The next time you're facing adversity, remember this Star Wars fight scene and be like Qui-gon Jinn — take time to breathe and refocus. You might not be facing a life or death situation, but you'll have an easier time not only surviving but winning the day.

In the words of a Jedi master…

“Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don’t think. Use your instincts.”

- Qui-Gon Jinn

Want more? If you're struggling with making authentic work, click here to join my (free) email list, and through comics, articles about culture, and living your truth, you can discover how to upgrade your mindset and share your creative writing and art with the world.

How I Learned a Better Way to Hold Chopsticks

Illustrated by the author.

I thought I held chopsticks correctly.

When I moved to Osaka, Japan, many years ago to teach English in junior high schools, I had a tough time adjusting to being a foreigner in a new country and barely speaking the language. I figured using chopsticks was one thing I had years of practice with, so there was no need to worry.

After only a week of living in Shimamoto, a small town just north of Osaka, I went out to eat with my Japanese coworkers. One of them observed me struggling to pick up a piece of sushi and, without words, showed me how to hold my chopsticks, which turned into a next-level upgrade.

As a cartoonist and storyboard artist, I decided to draw the scene and put it together as an animatic. Take a look at this silent 38-second clip that changed how I use chopsticks to this day…

I never thought holding your chopsticks further up would make such a huge difference. Now, it’s pretty easy to pick up just about anything.

My chopsticks technique grew immensely after that short lesson from one kind coworker. I feel indebted to him to this day. The best part is, I was able to pay it forward.

One evening a few years later, while back in the U.S., I ate out at one of those Benihana-style teppanyaki restaurants. You always sit with others and share a large table while the chef is cooking in front of you. I caught one of the people sitting at the other end, watching me pick up my food easily.

I smiled and noticed he was holding his chopsticks closer to the bottom. Remembering my experience in Japan, I pulled my hand down to open and close them to show how difficult it is to open them wide that way.

As soon as I pulled my hand back up and displayed how wide you can open chopsticks, the guy’s eyes popped wide open. He smiled, changed his hand position to further up, and enjoyed picking up every piece of food thrown at him during the rest of the dinner.

We didn’t even talk to each other, but I could see he appreciated the lesson.

How do you hold your chopsticks? If you learned something new, make sure to share it with others the next time you’re in a Japanese restaurant.

You never know how much it could change their confidence.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

The Life Advice I Nearly Died to Learn

It’s about more than feeling grateful to be alive.

Photo by Thomas Le on Unsplash

This article isn’t just about how precious life is—you know that already.

Going through the experience I’m about to tell you that happened because of my own lousy judgment helped me discover how to look at life and might help you too.

Here’s what started me down this road.

One late evening many years ago, after working all day, I needed to drive five hours south to visit family in Atlanta, Georgia. I was tired, exhausted even. When I look back on it, I know I shouldn’t have been driving a long distance, but I did it anyway.

It was close to midnight, driving down the highway, and I started to dose off. I wasn’t worried, though. Driving long distances is my thing. My confidence in the ability to stay awake, stay focused on the road, and make it to my destination was unshakable.

Until I fell asleep, and my car swerved to the left and hit the median.

My car spun to the right, across every lane of the highway. While spinning, my mind did exactly what I’ve heard other people explain. Time slowed down.

I was in shock, and my car was spinning. I thought another vehicle, or worse, a truck, would run into me. I figured this was it, and I would die. But I didn’t. My car slid down into a shallow ditch on the right side of the highway. I sat there frozen, staring out the window as my mind slowly crept out of the fog of shock covering me.

“I’m alive.” I thought to myself over and over again.

As a Black man sitting in the middle of nowhere Georgia late at night, I was afraid to stay there or even call the cops. Getting the car back on the road was the only option. My engine was still running, so I put it in drive and tried rolling out of the ditch.

The car moved up a little, but my ancient Honda Civic barely had enough power to get up the hill. I floored the gas pedal, and thankfully my prayers were answered as it moved up and back onto the highway.

Not taking any chances, I rolled down my windows, cranked up the radio, and drove the last hour and a half into Atlanta. The scrape on the left side of my car from hitting the median was a small price to pay for keeping my life.

During that ride post-accident, yes, I was grateful to be alive and pissed at myself for driving drowsy. But I realized something.

If things were just a little different, I’d be dead. The truth is, bad things happen and will continue to happen. We must all choose what seemingly bad events mean to us.

Accepting that it’s my responsibility to decide how to think about every event in my life is a privilege I will gladly take on. What I went through sucked, but what I learned from it is powerful.

We can make life better or worse—starting with how we want to see it.

I could have spent the entire ride punching myself in the face for not waiting until the next day, after a good night’s sleep, to drive to Atlanta. My deliberate choice was to focus on the fact that I got myself out of the ditch and back on the road.

Could I have fallen asleep again? Sure. But I decided to push through and reach my destination by ensuring I couldn’t fall asleep again. And you know what? I have never driven long distances at night while tired again. That was my choice. I learned from my mistake.

What if you feel there are no choices in life for you?

Change your perspective, and change your life

The first perspective upgrade to make is recognizing you have the power to think differently about yourself and your situation in life. You don’t have to almost die to understand how powerful changing your thinking about something can be.

I’m a big fan of accepting situations for what they are and then deciding to move forward. Going through an accident where I could have died or have been seriously injured, but didn’t, could have been all I needed to decide never to drive again. Like god was telling me, I don’t belong behind the wheel.

Of course, that’s not true. If everyone stopped driving after getting in one accident, far fewer cars would be on the road. It would be best if you built up resilience to tough times and difficult situations so you can get back in the game after hardships.

I decided to give thanks for coming out of the accident safely and understanding I must be more careful while driving. The lesson I learned helped shape me into a better driver and taught me; even small things can make a huge difference.

When you can make your mistakes into lessons and difficulties into opportunities, you can conquer anything.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” -Maya Angelou

Change your thinking now. Don’t wait.

You don’t need to risk your life to appreciate how much good you can give to the world. All you have to do is make a choice. Choose now.

Upgrading your perspective is easier than you think. Here are several ways to do it without nearly dying.

• Take a step back to see the bigger picture. Soar above your life and look at it from above to get a broader perspective. What can you change?

• Focus on what you have rather than what you’re missing.

• Practice gratitude. Even the smallest blessings are worth your attention.

• Try out new things. Stretch yourself with new hobbies or activities. You’ll be forced to open your mind and see life anew.

If something like an accident or health-scare hasn’t happened to you yet, it most likely will. I know that’s morbid to think about, and I apologize. But, staring at death in the face gives you the proper perspective on life. You will discover what truly matters if you haven’t figured it out already.

Fortunately, you don’t have to go through hell to get to an epiphany about life. You can choose to make a change right now.

The power is all yours. Upgrade your perspective and choose the life you desire.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Are You Addicted to Being Busy or in Love With Your Work?

Why making that distinction could save your life

Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash

Waking up at 5 a.m. to work on a personal project or side business before heading off to a day job has now become a common negative stereotype of hustle porn. Do we need to work this much?

If you’re doing something you love, maybe.

Figuring out if what you’re working on is just keeping you busy to make money or giving you something more significant than dollar bills is vital.

I like work. In fact, I’m writing this article early in the morning before my teaching job. Getting up at five in the morning is challenging at times, but the natural high I get from writing and drawing first thing in the morning stays with me throughout the day.

I feel good, and most importantly, I’m having fun.

It wasn’t always this way. There have been plenty of times where I worked myself to the bone freelancing or trying to build a business, asking myself, “Why am I doing this?”

I had to figure out what worked. The hardest part was being honest with myself about what I truly love and desire to do.

The uncomfortable truth is, you may have to get everything wrong before you can move in the direction of what’s right.

What work addiction looks like

You’re afraid of silence. Afraid of peace.

Not what you expected? Hear me out.

You’re accustomed to something happening, or something you have to do is present at all times. You feel like a hard worker when you’re constantly taking care of tasks for your work or thinking about ways to make it better.

You feel like constantly spending time doing, producing, or making, will lead to growth, success, respect, and riches. You overwork yourself.

“I can’t stop, or I’ll get left behind.” you think.

You’re doing time-consuming tasks, keeping you busy but ultimately not moving you forward. It’s not what you love, but you’ve heard this type of business or action at work will lead to financial success. You think it helps you feel better about yourself.

But it leads to burnout.

You can’t let go of making things happen. It’s time to stop, but you can’t see it until your body forces you by getting sick or losing motivation or excitement for what you do.

What loving your work looks like

You can’t wait to get up in the morning to jump into a project you’ve been working on each day. In your mind, making money from it is nice, but you’d do this for free because it’s so much fun.

Even if it’s something you weren’t good at first, but now you’ve learned more and are excited and, not to mention curious, about learning all you can and getting better at it. You have a passion for the work.

Does this mean you never get tired? Of course not. You understand we all get run down eventually.

Burnout can still happen even when you love what you do, or it’s your passion. You know this, so you schedule downtime. Planning work in terms of seasons, months of the calendar year where you’re more productive, and others where you slow down and recharge to help you stay balanced.

I love being an educator and during the pandemic went through teaching primarily on Zoom. At first, I thought holding classes on video would be easier because I’m at home. It ended up being twice as much work.

On top of that, I was keeping up with my daughter’s fifth-grade homeschooling due to the pandemic and drawing comics and writing in what little spare time I had left. I love everything, but after over a year of pushing without much leisure time, I passed out and was sent to the emergency room.

I got sick from one bacterial infection to the next, getting sent to the hospital four times in three months. Fortunately, as a teacher, I get the summers off, so I finally had a wake-up call and made sure to slow down as much as possible and heal.

Like me, you may love what you do but get addicted to doing it regularly. Writing, teaching, and drawing are my outlets, and I could not be myself without them. This could be true, but it doesn’t mean I need to do as much.

Like in the play “Hamilton,” his wife keeps getting on him for “Writing like he’s running out of time.” I feel that way at times. Like I have to get out as much work as possible with the time I have.

Rest and remove the unnecessary

Give yourself true leisure time. Your exhaustion is more than not having a vacation in a long time. It’s the fact that you haven’t made time for real rest.

Some ideas for letting go and giving your body and mind a break are playing sports, meditation or just sitting outside staring at nature, reading a good book, hiking in the woods, and spending time with a good friend.

Refresh your mind and spirit so when it’s time to get back into doing the work you love, you have passionate energy for your chosen passion.

When you know the parts of your business or passion project you enjoy the most, it’s easier to give tasks away to assistants or hired help.

If you don’t have the money to hire help, try and do less of the excruciating functions and spend more time on what you enjoy. When your business grows, you may add on more help with what you like the least.

Being realistic about how much you do and when to rest can save your health and your life.

Decide to take ownership of who you are

You’re not superhuman. No matter how much you enjoy what you do every day. The human body can only take so much.

Stop being addicted to work and accept that loving it leads to burnout just as much as when you hate what you do for a living. Either way, you must give yourself time to rest and rejuvenate.

You’re not going to win an award for the most passionate worker.

Sure, when you hate what you do, you’ll need more time to work through mental frustrations and stress, but doing what you love carries stressors as well.

When you decide what you’re doing is essential to you, make it your way of giving to the world and helping others, then your hard work will feel like it’s worth the time. Planning for relaxation because you know it’s vital for your mental and spiritual health is extremely important.

No one is going to force you to take time for yourself. Even if they do, you are the one who decides what you’ll do with that time.

Learn to love your work and scheduled leisure time so you’ll live long enough to appreciate what you earned.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Stop Letting Your Kids Watch Squid Game

Why it's worse than violent video games

Photo by Vadim Bogulov on Unsplash

Disclaimer: Squid Game spoilers are sprinkled throughout this article.

"I love watching Squid Game. It's so good!" a 7th-grade student said to me the other day.

How are they able to watch a show like that at their age? I was shocked with a massive side of feeling appalled.

In some ways, I get it. The setup of Netflix's most-watched show to date grabs you and won't let go. Everyone's talking about it, and you're thrilled to join in and be a part of the phenomenon. Who cares if it glorifies senseless killing and makes it seem like a person's life is meaningless. It's gripping entertainment.

The entertainment we as adults can look at from many sides and approach objectively is fine. What about people who openly let their kids who are under the age of 15 watch? Yes, I believe Squid Game is too raw and real even for teenagers.

Right off the bat, I enjoyed the show and was pleasantly surprised by the direction it took at every turn. No surprise, I usually hate bloody series where people's lives are popped off like they're roaches infesting a house. The story and mystery of Squid Game caught me.

As a father of an eleven-year-old, though—who I would never let view such a violent extravaganza—I was shocked to discover families are sitting down, cuddling together, and watching Squid Game like it was made for them.

As a middle school teacher, my 6th-8th grade students love discussing the show and talking about their favorite parts and bragging about how their parents can't wait to make popcorn and get back to viewing a show where hundreds of gamblers and criminals compete in childhood games and get shot dead if they lose.

Maybe it's because the show's violence is relegated to mainly getting shot, stabbed, or dropped from great heights. It's not excessively gory or disgusting to watch, but players of the game are being killed and incinerated the entire run.

Survival shows are nothing new, and I know young people enjoy watching them. Squid Game feels different to me for several reasons.

Popularity doesn't mean it's suitable for everyone

The show wouldn't get the attention it does from families if it weren't as popular. Viewers want in on the latest hit, no matter the genre or plot. Heck, that's how it pulled me in.

Squid Game was released on September 17 and, in 23 days, became the top most successful show on Netflix, leaving its other popular show, Bridgerton, in the dust. Over 1 billion hours were spent watching the series by viewers.

It caught on like wildfire but is that an excuse to let kids watch?

Part of the show's draw is the childlike games the players engage in, like Red Light Green Light, where if you're caught moving on red, you get shot dead.

An interesting idea. What's stopping children from adding killing to their games out on the playground? Even if it's just pretending—point your finger at a friend and pretend to shoot them down—is this ok?

A council in England doesn't think so. The Central Bedfordshire council in the south of England issued notices to parents to make them aware of where watching shows like Squid Game could lead:

“There have been some concerning reports recently about children and young people ‘playing’ Squid Game whilst at school. Squid Game is also being viewed via other platforms such as YouTube and TikTok, and given the popularity of the games in the show, developers have made various mini-games based on Squid Game on Roblox and other gaming platforms.

We strongly advise that children should not watch Squid Game. The show is quite graphic with a lot of violent content.”

When you see how meaningless the characters' lives feel in the show, dying seems like nothing important at all. Not only is this desensitizing young people to killing and death, due to the nature of the children-themed games they play, it feels like the characters deserved it.

Violent video games and animation hit differently

Squid Game feels very real and is set in what looks like the real world. You get the sense that this sort of game could be happening around the world right now. Indeed, this is one of the reasons the show is as popular as it is, but will young people get excited about possibly playing in it one day?

We now have people competing in Quidditch games based on the ever-popular Harry Potter series. Could this lead to wealthy investors actually starting a game like this in real life? Will a twelve-year-old grow up and want to build their own death game?

The games the adults are playing are based on ones they loved to play as kids. Who wouldn't want to play tug of war? Adding the part where you die if you lose is twisted and normalizes death games in young minds.

Playing violent video games also gives you less concern for killing and watching people die, but at least it's computer-generated.

Children shouldn't spend all their time playing those types of games, but they can turn it off and get it's fake due to the animation and the fact that they're making decisions with a game controller.

In Japanese animation, survival anime shows like Gantz and Attack on Titan are set in fantasy worlds or dystopian futures. You can distance yourself, thinking this is happening in another place. It's more of a "What if" type scenario in a universe very different from ours.

Just say no to kids glorifying real-life violence

I know you think I should chill out. It's just a TV show, after all. Very true. But it's the most popular TV show in the world. You know this genre will grow and expand now that studios know the pull live-action violent games have on viewers. Is this the direction we want television to go?

In five years, will we have real-life death games we're all tuning in to watch, like in the Schwarzenegger movie, The Running Man, where people are betting on who will survive and dismissive of those that die? I'm not ready for that kind of society.

Giving children access to animated violence isn't great, but we know they have an interest. At least when it's not with actual human beings, they can see it as the entertainment it was meant to be.

If you're a parent of a pre-teen, don't share the show with your kids. Several years from now, if they're still interested, perhaps they'll be developmentally ready to take on such a violent take on kid's playground games.

Until then, keep young people away from Squid Game.

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

One of the Best Ways to Become a Better Writer

How a cartoonist’s quote helped me understand what writers truly need

Coming up with creative ideas for topics or stories to write about consistently can be challenging. Even when you get them, how can your writing feel authentic and full of life?

In an interview with cartoonist Jef Mallett of the syndicated “Frazz” comic strip, he gave simple yet powerful advice on writing for his same cast of characters week after week.

“Get a life and steal from it.” -Jef Mallett

In his opinion, only taking from other books or TV shows isn’t as powerful as swiping from your life. To do that, you need to live a little. There’s a richness to personal experiences readers can feel.

Leave your house, take risks, and then write about them.

You Only Need 3 Words to Have a Life You Yearn For

Upgrading your thinking doesn't have to be hard

Photo by Kajetan Sumila on Unsplash

One of the biggest names in the fashion industry didn't start designing wedding dresses until age 40.

Vera Wang found her true calling a bit later in life. She pursued her dreams of being a successful athlete but failed to qualify for the 1968 Olympic figure-skating team.

When her sports goals didn't work out as she'd hoped, Vera changed what she yearned for and took on one of her other interests—fashion. Working at Vogue for many years gave her experience and new skills, but, unfortunately, she never rose to the company's top.

Putting time in on the side to design wedding dresses and ultimately open her bridal boutique in the upscale Carlyle Hotel on Madison Avenue in New York City helped put her on the map.

Today, Vera Wang is huge in the fashion realm with a business worth over one billion dollars.

Anyone who succeeds through multiple ups and downs and can pivot into success must have a clear vision to pursue. Deciding what your's is can be easier than you think.

Choose three words to yearn for in life

I bet you tend to want it all when it comes to life—all the money, a perfect loving relationship, and a fantastic job. It might even be that you're extremely specific about exactly which company you want to work for or the type of person you most desire.

How about you try picking just three words that cover what you yearn for in life in a broader sense?

Narrowing down what you truly want to three words can help your mind focus and attract the experiences you desire most. This keeps you open to many possibilities and not fixed on specific outcomes.

For example, if you say, "I yearn for kindness, adventure, and peace in my life." this statement will set your mind in motion to attract what you desire.

Making concrete decisions activates the universe to start working for you. Keeping what you yearn for broad and open will give you the flexibility to change when needed.

Me? I yearn for love, freedom, and creativity.

Coming up with those words took several tries. In fact, I might still change them. It gives me a high-level idea of what I need to feel like life is going my way. Something similar to a compass that guides me when I get off track. I can ask myself questions like, "Will this bring more love into my life, or less?" or "Can I gain more freedom from starting this business?"

When you have the three words you yearn for, you're on your way. If they're not all present in your life yet, be careful with how fast you expect them.

Walk towards your goals, don't run

Yearning is not desperation. Take your time getting to where you want to go in your life, relationships, and career. Anytime I try to rush things, they turn out less meaningful with little fulfillment.

Make your yearnings like the locations you're walking towards each day. Move steadily ahead but always have your goals in sight. There's so much to discover when you take time to pay attention along the way.

Running fast towards goals makes you miss learning moments. These are important ones that could help you appreciate what you're receiving and help with the knowledge to keep it together.

Yearning leads to doing, then eventually, becoming. I hate to admit sometimes that growth and change are gradual. Patience is not my strong suit. The problem is, you don't see how much you've grown most of the time because changes are so small. Doing more faster usually feels like the more innovative way to get to success. It's not.

Remember, doing small acts leads to more significant success in time. Stacking those little blocks can build on themselves.

In conclusion

If you don't have an overarching idea of what you want your life to feel like, you won't get all you desire. Some favorable aspects can happen by chance and fit into your vision, but a good life you yearn for takes planning and intention most of the time.

Here’s the truth: People who get what they want tend to be the ones who make the effort to know what they want. -Martha Beck

I'm nearly there with my goals of love, freedom, and creativity. The freedom part is still taking time, though, like my dream of not working a day job but choosing to solely because it interests me.

I have more flexibility in my life right now because I know what I'm looking for and can make decisions based on my vision. You can do this too.

Choose your three words to yearn for in life and start taking the steps and strides, like Vera Wang, down the runway towards them. Make sure to carry patience on your back. You'll get there eventually and realize everything you desire is already surrounding you.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

Getting Your Dream Job Should Never Be The End Goal

I’m not afraid anymore to admit what matters

Photo by Magnet.me on Unsplash

When you get that (insert dream job), you’ll be happy. Right?

Even though you know this isn’t true, you hope it will be.

Why? Because you want to feel special. Someone chose you for that job and, therefore, success. So, you’re important. The validation you receive from the money, prestige, and professional challenge of that position will make all of your hard work up until now worthwhile.

Is there more to a career than giving all your talents to a company?

Could it be you’re afraid to see it’s really about what you’re giving to the world as well as yourself at the same time? While also giving to yourself, what you contribute to society brings you meaning—a genuine purpose.

Not just a ladder for you to climb in a career.

When everyone is telling you to strive for success, you may wonder what that means. Yes, it depends on how you think success should look, but there’s more.

My dream of becoming an art teacher came true. There are parts I love about the job. And other parts I could do without—the same for when I dreamed of working as a copywriter at a tech company. The experience was incredible in so many ways and not so fantastic in others.

I thought those jobs were my dreams come true, so everything should be perfect in my life then. They would surely be my everything and solve all my problems: no more sadness and impostor syndrome for me.

Until I realized jobs would never make me feel like a 100% success. So, how do we change our mindset and look at our career aspirations a little differently? It’s only one part of the equation.

We have to face the facts.

A job ain’t nothin’ but work

What is the reason for a job in the first place? You make money so you can pay for a place to live and have clothing and food. It’s work, but we make it into so much more—our identity. If you have to work, remove yourself from becoming the profession itself.

Turn your thinking into, “I am a human being doing this job because it adds to the world, teaches me new skills, and helps me live the life I want.”

I’ve been fortunate enough to get jobs I worked hard towards and could be considered dreams come true. I still have ultimate dream jobs, like working for an animation studio or getting a graphic novel series published, but those have to do with a combination of skill and luck. They can take more time to achieve. I’m still growing as a writer and artist and will get there eventually.

Any jobs I have are lovely stepping stones on the journey to where I want to go. Not a definition of all I am.

Making sure you’re learning valuable skills is how you give yourself better opportunities. When you see the experience you’re gaining by working the job you’re in now, it can become more than just work.

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”
Colin Powell

Make money so you can do what you love

A “day job” can be a good thing. One that gives you the money to afford the time to do what you love is a fantastic ticket to creative fulfillment.

Keep in mind; if we get our dream jobs, they might not be how we imagine. There’s a difference between a dream and a fantasy.

If you get your dream job and hate it, is it a dream come true? Maybe what you fantasize about can never be in real life. Or, the day-to-day expectations of what it takes to do that job are not to your liking.

That’s fine. If you tried it but didn’t like it, now you know. If you’re not there yet, find interviews with people doing what you dream of doing. How does the reality of the job sound to you? Can you handle that level of stress or keep up with the expectations?

“No matter what you’re doing, try to work at that task like it’s your dream job.”
Russell Simmons

What if you have a job that doesn’t suck, pays your bills, and gives you space to work on your passions — like music, art, and writing in your free time? Is that so bad? You’ve given yourself a chance to spend time doing what you enjoy and making it a priority.

It’s not your job, so you can do the parts of your hobby or interests that are fun and schedule them when you want. It’s not a chore or ball of stress you have to manage every day. It stays your outlet.

I discovered my main goal is to get better and grow my skills in creative areas. You could choose to share your hobbies with others or keep them to yourself. Even the judgment of others is something you won’t have to deal with if you’re doing it for fun.

I’ve had plenty of jobs that were for paying the bills so I could make comics. Waiting tables was one of them, not to mention being a security guard–perfect for drawing while watching the security cameras — and even teaching gives me summers off to work as a cartoonist full-time.

Craft a life that supports the pursuit of your passions, and your dreams will quietly come true in your spare time.

Having the ability to start your own business is key

Even if you could create a business with all the skills you’ve acquired and practice you’ve put into your passion, it doesn’t mean you have to turn it into a business.

I talked about this in my previous article in the same vein here:

4 Reasons Your Hobby Should Not Become Your Business

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t have to be your side-hustle.

khalidbirdsong.medium.com

Knowing you could make it a business feels pretty good, though. If you need to make money or life takes a turn for the worst, having skills you can use to earn more dough could be a lifesaver.

Putting time into practicing your writing, drawing, and even administrative skills could be services you could sell down the line. Just know, you don’t have to make everything a side-hustle.

Creating for yourself means any style or format you choose is entirely up to you. When you want to change how you create, you won’t have thousands of fans looking for you to do it the way you always have. Or, you won’t have to worry about clients chasing you for freelance jobs.

The freedom to work on what excites you and then change when you feel ready and willing is liberating.

The true meaning of work

You’re giving to others and being of service. If you’re not doing that, find a way to add more giving to your workday. This truth once felt silly to me. I see now; sharing is what it’s all about. A job shouldn’t be just about what makes you happy only.

Work should also be about giving and helping yourself get better at something you enjoy—an actual path to fulfillment.

“You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”
Woodrow Wilson

A dream job is meaningless if you’re not helping others in some way as well as feeding your soul.

Take these ideas to heart and decide who you want to be. How will you grow your skills, help the world, and live your dreams instead of only striving for a fantastic job?

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

An Open Letter to The Blogger Who Signs Off With "I Love You"

Isn't that presumptuous, or is it just me?

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Dear Crossing The Line Blogger,

You continually write "I love you" in the sign-off of your articles like you're my lover. When I read it, it makes my insides shudder. Not in a good way, mind you. In the way, that feels like someone is coming on too strong, and I want them to back off.

I appreciate your kindness and would like a little more space between us. How about you only share your life-changing information? I get my one takeaway and can then move on in peace.

Stop acting like we have something special together. I don't know you like that. You may say you love me, but I have a hunch you don't even know how true love feels.

Here’s a sample of the end of one of your articles:

“The life you choose is the life you get. If you want new experiences, it’s your job to go after them. Take a risk, and live the good life you’ve been dreaming about.

I love you,

Jack”

Stop coming on so strong. If you think I'm smiling and feeling special because you get to confess your love each week in your articles, you're wrong.

Have you thought about how this might make your readers feel? I mean, really feel? Maybe you think you're a wonderful person who genuinely cares for others and would never do them harm, but I don’t know you.

How do I know what kind of person you truly are when you log off of your computer? You could be treating your real loved ones like dirt while telling me I'm in your love circle.

Here's a frightening thought, you could be an abuser. Your love for everyone could be crossing so far over the line, you’re saying it to every person you meet at all times.

If you're finishing at the checkout at the grocery store, for example, and the clerk gives your change, then you whisper, "I love you." Wouldn’t that be crazy?

Control yourself.

What? Am I presuming too much? I don't know you after all. Maybe you're a good person with a kind heart. You want me to know someone out there loves me. Well, I'm getting plenty of love, buddy. I don't need your empty words.

I have no desire to get love from someone who probably gets off the bus, turns around slowly, focuses their dreamy eyes on the driver, and says, "I love you." The pride you feel for making the bus driver’s day gives you a pep in your step. So much so, you catch the eye of others on the street walking by, and they can't help but say "Good morning" in response to your positive energy.

What do you say in return? "I love you," of course, and scares the heck out of them.

Are you that person who goes out with their coworkers after hours, gets drunk, and yells, "I love you?" while falling all over them at the bar? They tolerate you until you barf on Tim from accounting’s shoes.

Consumed with shame, you look up at him, with those inebriated puppy dog eyes, and exclaim, "I love you, man!"

I think it might be time to hit the unsubscribe button.

Letting you know how uncomfortable your sign-off of love feels is pretty hard, but maybe it will help you make different decisions in the future. Think about it. Saying you love me and all of your readers takes away from the power of showing it through your advice and the value you provide.

Like the phrase, "show, don't tell.” And in this case, you should definitely stop telling. Your love should already be present in the type of articles you write.

Stop ruining the vibe.

If you're always saying it, I know readers will think you're not genuine and cancel you. Like I'm about to do.

My days of dealing with discomfort because of your poor choice of words are over. Even though I’ve never met you in person, I can tell you need help. I’m good at noticing these types of things. If you learned something, I hope you’ll change how you talk to your followers.

Goodbye.

Oh, and I love you (see how cringy it feels?),

A disgusted reader

Want more? If you’re struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

What You Could Be Missing About Writing on Medium

It's more than making money

Writers keep saying Medium is dying. It's not like it used to be and will never return. If you can't make good money here, why stick around?

I've been on Medium off and on for five years now, and I wish I were more active here a few years ago. You know, when writers were bringing in the big bucks. About a year ago, I started posting regularly, and I've seen slight growth in my earnings but nothing over $100 yet.

My stats have plummeted, like a lot of writers here, and I can't seem to get the attention I had even six months ago.

I'm still staying on the platform and putting time into writing on Medium.

Here are a few reasons why.

You can write whatever you like

Writing on Medium is the perfect place to sharpen your skills. Think about it. You can choose to share, teach, and tell stories about anything.

I love that I can bring up a topic I'm interested in and give my take on it. And for the most part, people will read.

Sure, it's tempting to get excited about possibly making thousands of dollars on the platform, but we should focus on what's important—improving as writers and having fun at the same time.

Medium will keep making changes

Another day, another change on Medium. Get used to it and keep writing. We can get as upset or excited as we want, but the fact is, the platform is growing and needs to adjust.

Sometimes it will work in our favor, and sometimes it won't. We can't change the fact that Medium is a business and will frequently make decisions that seem cold.

Your articles don't have to become cold, though. When you have fun writing, readers will notice. They'll also appreciate your honest, positive words as they try to navigate not only Medium but this crazy world in which we live.

Flow with the changes and continue to rise above with writing that's creative and authentically you, and watch your work last for years—no matter where you write.

Your pay will fluctuate

Depending on Medium earnings to pay your bills is a tough road. If you can position yourself with multiple streams of income from other jobs or platforms, do it.

You can't predict if your articles will generate a ton of money each month or not. Looking at your stats every 30 minutes isn't going to make them go up. Consistently producing good work every week is the main road to improving and attracting attention.

Stats won't matter as much if you do not depend on Medium for money.

It's easier to deal with the lean times when you have many different areas where your pay comes from. Try using Convertkit to start an email list. I've had one for my comics for many years but just started adding articles and advice to my newsletters. It's fun, and new people are subscribing.

My goal is to build up loyal readers who feel they receive value from my work, and I can reach out to them when I have new books or courses ready to release. A.K.A., a built-in audience.

You can make more money from freelancing

I bet my blog writing skills would snowball if I went after freelance clients. When I did this in the past, it was enjoyable to work on different projects and learn about companies to write for them. Enjoyable but with very little freedom.

The fact that I can choose a topic that interests me on Medium—not based on what a client decides—and put my spin and style on it is magnificent. I can even add illustrations I created, like in this article.

If I want to make more money, I can go back to freelancing.

Or take on a few assignments on Upwork or through LinkedIn for several months and then stop. All the while, I'm writing on Medium to get better at honing my voice and writing style.

Most of all, I'm having fun.

In conclusion

Write on Medium for the experience and pure joy of sharing what you love. When you start craving more money, start freelancing for a while to help keep your passion for Medium alive.

Decide what you're writing for and base your daily writing habit around that idea. Right now, I'm all about getting better and finding my voice. There are several topics I love writing about, but I'm looking forward to discovering more.

Article writing is helping me get to know myself and my writing voice. I'm grateful to Medium for giving me that opportunity. And, I get to make a little extra money too.

Not a bad deal at all if you ask me.

Want more? If you're struggling with creativity and putting your work out regularly, join my (free) email list, and through comics and articles, discover how to upgrade your mindset here.

4 Reasons Your Hobby Should Not Become Your Business

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t have to be your side-hustle.

Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash

Let’s imagine you’re exhausted and up late working on an important personal project. The one that, once it’s out in the world, will put you on the map and attract attention. With some luck and a little bit of success, your dream of quitting your day job could come true.

Then what? You get to do that every day, all day? Is this really the future you’re hoping for?

Why can’t this be something you do for fun?

If you’re good at something, it doesn’t mean it has to become your job.

I know that’s counter-intuitive to what everyone’s touting online today, but it’s true. Your hobby shouldn’t always become your business.

I’m sure you’re good at many things. It doesn’t mean you have to turn them all into side-hustles that turn into big-time companies.

Unfortunately, I’ve learned this the hard way. My love for drawing comics and writing has led me to pursue making money from them as a side-hustle. It’s not as fun as it’s cracked up to be. Between deadlines, prospecting for clients, and balancing my work and projects with family responsibilities.

We live in a time now, with the internet giving us opportunities to easily share work with the world, where people think you should “Do what you love, and the money will follow.”

We all feel like we’re missing out if we don’t have a passion and pursue it for profit.

Contrary to popular belief, making money with what you love is hard. Does it have to be your goal? Here are four reasons why you might not want to turn your hobby into a business.

1. Hobbies should be fun

Why do you love doing your hobby? If it brings you a sense of joy, for example, isn’t that enough?

If all of your needs are being met by your day job, perhaps adding on more work to make your hobby into a business isn’t worth the extra stress and commitments.

Your hobby should be — and stay — enjoyable. Something you look forward to escaping into and forgetting about the outside world.

I remember my grandfather had several hobbies. He enjoyed making the most delicious fudge and giving it as gifts to family and friends. Should he have opened up a business selling fudge out of his kitchen? Not necessarily.

I doubt he enjoyed it enough to add on all the extra responsibilities involved with a bakery business.

He mainly wanted something fun and fulfilling to do in his leisure time. Making fudge brightened his days and added a little sweetness to others. For him, that was enough.

Knowing you can go deep into something at your own pace, where you think clearly and feel at ease, is a blessing. Don’t complicate it.

“I can elect something I love and absorb myself in it.”
― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931–1934

2. Making it a business turns it into work

We don’t always know if what we love to do will be something we enjoy doing full-time. It takes experience, yes, but also honesty. Do you love your hobby so much that you wouldn’t mind regularly dealing with the business's complex, tedious, boring parts?

If you want to turn your hobby into a business, it will become work.

Drawing comics full-time has been a goal of mine since I was a kid. Even though I know it’s one of the most challenging forms of art to make good money in, I still go after it. I’ve had to take on other jobs to pay the bills when comics weren’t bringing in enough, and most of the time, comics would become my side-hustle.

Becoming a professional at anything means learning to work even when you’re not in the mood.

I learned to do that by making comics and pushing through the “resistance” in my head when it would try and hold me back from not only getting art done but taking care of more administrative tasks.

Now, I know I can be a professional comic artist because I like the day-to-day work involved. I haven’t reached my full-time goal yet, but I’ve had years of freelance experience to get a good idea of what it would feel like.

When you put your hobby to the test, by intentionally treating it like a business, you’ll be able to feel whether or not it’s something you could do as your job.

I get it. You might need a side-hustle right now. It could be that a side income is vital to save money or pay for outstanding bills. Does your hobby have to be the way you make that money, though?

There’s nothing wrong with getting a part-time job in retail or driving for Lyft for a certain amount of time — think seasonal work — to save up enough for you to get back into a good place.

Do anything you can to keep your hobby as an outlet and a source of release.

3. Should you monetize your obsession?

People can get way too into their hobbies. Like collecting memorabilia or toys, for example. Nothing wrong with those hobbies, but I’ve seen friends lose their minds over a piece of plastic. If you’re obsessed with a hobby, can you think straight enough to make it a business?

Will you identify all of yourself as that hobby if you make it a business and carry unrealistic expectations on your shoulders? For example, “I’m a writer now, so I must write every day for five hours, or I’m a failure.”

Sometimes we love a hobby so much; it becomes an obsession. If you can’t stop painting portraits of politicians to make a statement, and no one can give you feedback or suggestions on how to grow because you refuse to listen. Maybe this shouldn’t be your business.

You need to be open to pivot and take on new ideas when things aren’t succeeding for a business to work. If you can only do things your way because this hobby is everything to you, it should probably stay a hobby.

“Whatever you like to do, make it a hobby and whatever the world likes to do, make it a business.”
-Warren Buffett

4. Be selfish when it comes to your hobby

Keep something just for you. You don’t even need to share what you make or create with anyone. Let your hobby remain an outlet for life’s frustrations and hide it for yourself. If you need to share it with someone who has more experience and gives you feedback, great.

I bet there are plenty of creative people who work professionally and never show it to anyone. That way, it’s for themselves. Or, they keep it for their family and friends. If one of those people wants to buy from them or support the work, they can.

A few years ago, I was learning to play the ukulele. I wanted to do it for fun with no expectations of performing live in front of strangers. It would be a relaxing hobby I didn't need to press myself to do professionally, like drawing comics.

I spent about two years practicing chords and learning songs on the uke. Having a hobby only for the fun of it was terrific. The only problem, music takes a regular committed effort to improve. Balancing work, drawing comics, and being a family man proved to be too much.

It hurt, but I had to stop playing the ukulele. I went from practicing every day to a few days a week, to only once a month. All of my time went into improving as an artist and not a musician.

Facing the hard truth—I didn’t have time for a musical hobby—was tough to face. But, I accepted it and put down the uke. Who knows, I hope to have time to get back to playing it again in the future when I have more time for myself.

Drawing in my sketchbook is purely for fun now. I don’t have to share my scribbles with anyone if I don't want to, and the practice makes me a better artist for the comics I share with the public. Hobbies can have a private and a public side if it helps keep you growing and feeling balanced.

In conclusion

All hobbies are not good businesses. Just about anything can be made into one, but you have to be honest with yourself about what you can handle.

Find a nice balance of interest in the subject matter, love of the creation process, and detachment from the perfection of the final result.

When you can look at your work objectively, share it with others, take criticism, make changes, and still enjoy what you’re doing. It might be the proper pursuit for you.

Try and keep these points in mind when deciding if your hobby should become a side-hustle:

• Hobbies should be for fun. If yours is mainly for fun and a way to relax and unwind, don’t make it a side-hustle.

• Making your hobby into a business turns it into work. Are you ready to deal with the not-so-fun parts of running a company connected to what you love?

• Don’t try and make money from your obsession. If you can’t even think straight while doing what you love because you’re so engrossed by it, maybe it should stay a hobby. It would be best if you could be objective about your work to grow it as a business.

• Keep your hobby to yourself if you choose. You don’t have to share it with anybody. Remember, I didn’t play the ukulele for people I didn’t know. It was my private hobby. One I’m looking forward to getting back to soon.

Make time for your hobbies in your leisure time to stay balanced and recharge. Let your interests become your job or side-hustle when you need one.

That way, you can enjoy what you do for a living and still have energy for your passions.

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