Can You Stay Who You Are While Living Overseas?

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I know people who believe you can never change

“If I move to another country, I’m staying myself. There’s no way I’m becoming a different person.” 

A coworker said to me after telling him about my experiences living in Japan for two years, meeting my wife, and explaining how the experience changed me for the better. I shared that I had to become a different person while living there. The look of utter disbelief on his face threw me off. 

He couldn’t see something like that happening to him. He explained further, “You never stop being who you are just because you’re in a different place. I’m always me at my core.” 

I understood where he was coming from but disagreed and couldn’t think of what to say at the time in response. I knew for a fact this person never lived overseas. How could he know? I learned that he had visited other countries, sometimes for several weeks, but never spent a year or more in one. Let alone a country in Asia. 

Living as an expat takes an open mind and a great deal of flexibility. 

I believe, to respect the culture you’re living in, you have to change some of who you are if you hope to join in and succeed. Some of it means living the saying “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” 

The other side involves making peace with becoming a different person. You can’t stop it from happening. Accepting your change doesn’t make you weak. 

If you’re a good person at heart, I think you can stay you deep down, but you will grow and evolve. I’ve seen how living abroad can change people for the worse and how they can even surprise themselves. 

As soon as you leave a familiar environment and accept the fact that you’re not going back to it anytime soon, you change. 

The jolt of culture shock hits right after arriving in Japan.  

I moved to Osaka to teach English in Junior High Schools with the JET Programme. My interest in learning about the country, culture, and language brought me there. The application process for JET took almost a year, so I was thrilled when I was accepted and finally arrived.

JET chooses where to place you but gives you the option of living in the city, suburbs, or countryside. I’m not a big city person, so I chose the suburbs. Even though I knew very little Japanese, I figured there would be enough people who spoke English there to help me settle into life. 

I was wrong.

Another JET teacher who lived in a town nearby was sent to my little area of Shimamoto, thirty minutes north of Osaka city by train, to help show me the basics. The apartment JET chose for me was old and unfurnished. I had to shop for futon mattresses, no western-style bed, that I would roll out every night to sleep right on the tatami mat floor. Totally different from how I slept in the U.S.  

August, one of the hottest months in Japan, and my air conditioning unit was broken. I met the other JET teacher in town, and she told me I could buy a new one, but it might take a few days to get it delivered and installed. Of course, she, or someone who could speak Japanese, would need to come with me to buy one.

I remember crying alone that night thinking, “What have I done?” Traveled across the world from Atlanta, Georgia, to Osaka, Japan, without friends or family to live in an old hot, and humid apartment without air conditioning. The culture shock hit me hard. 

Someone had to help me open a bank account, teach me how to get around on the subway. I worked in a school where I was the only non-Japanese person and couldn’t understand what anyone said.

Needless to say, I was uncomfortable. Living with discomfort was my everyday reality.   

Did this change me? How could you say it wouldn’t? 

I had experience with living abroad as a youth. My father worked as a diplomat, and I was fortunate to live in countries like Germany and the Bahamas during my middle school years. Moving to Germany was difficult because I didn’t speak the language. It was scary going out with family and not knowing what people were saying. 

The way of life was similar enough to America I found. People were a little more reserved and private than in Georgia and took a long time to get to know you. Over time, I learned to understand the people and culture. I got the idea that the language barrier and having patience with settling in was the most challenging part about living in another country.     

Traveling to live in Japan as an adult changed me even further. I was still me, but I discovered there can be much more to adjusting to a place when it’s very different than anywhere you’ve lived before. 

I truly became a new version of myself.

If I had time to explain all of this to my coworker and condense it down clearly and concisely, I wonder if he would see my side? 

Yes. You could be stubborn. Try and decide to behave like nothing in this new country can change you. I have a few ways this might prove difficult, however. Especially if you live in an Asian country where so much is so different. 

The rules of polite society force you to change. 

When you meet new people in Japan, you bow instead of shake hands. If you decide that just isn’t you and try to force a handshake, it will come off as odd or worse, rude. Not only do you bow, but you must learn not to bow too low depending on who you’re with. If you’re with a manager or an elder and you only give a little head nod, you’ll look like you’re being disrespectful. 

Learning these specific cultural rules was exciting to me, but I didn’t catch on all that fast. I can’t even count the number of times I bent my head down low to bow for the principal at my school, and someone pulled me aside later to let me know, “Your bow. It was too low.”

Eventually, I learned but let me tell you, I still make mistakes today. Not growing up with this custom means it isn’t second nature and can be frustrating at times. Learning how to bow is a part of living in Japan; you must learn.   

You are seen as a foreigner and not a citizen.

As an expat in Japan, you’re seen as a minority, even though you might have been part of the majority in your home country. Several white friends of mine had a real hard time with this realization. They stood out everywhere and weren’t used to it. 

They were seen as exotic and strange yet cool and interesting but not looked at as equals. Not as Japanese. If you don’t look Asian, you will be seen as a foreigner immediately—you can’t blend in. Even if you’ve lived in Japan for thirty years. 

You start to see yourself differently. Wondering what you can do to fit in. Learning to speak Japanese to communicate better or working for a Japanese company might help. Perhaps, but on the outside, you’ll still look foreign—different.

What might this do to you over a long period of time? Thinking it won’t mold you into a different person isn’t realistic. 

Getting away with more than in your home country.

Looking different and being a foreigner in Japan has its advantages as well. You can get away with not following some of the rules of society in ways Japanese people can’t. No one will expect you to be an expert with all the rules of Japanese society. 

Some Japanese friends you make may feel envious of how much more relaxed your life can be in Japan compared to theirs. 

When my wife and I were visiting Tokyo several years ago, we had our suitcase with us after checking out of our hotel but wanted to do more sightseeing. A major hotel chain in the area we wanted to explore had a line of people, staying at the hotel, no doubt, giving their bags over to be held until they checked in. I had the idea to act like we were staying there and ask them to hold our suitcase until we come back in a few hours.

My Japanese wife, thought it wouldn’t work, especially if she’s with me. As a tall Black man from America, I could probably get away with it by myself, though. I had to try. 

Sure enough, I got in line, fully expecting someone to ask me which room I’m staying in or to show proof I checked in at the hotel, but no. They just smiled, took my bag, and gave me a return ticket—as my wife watched in amazement at a distance.

This is called a “Gaijin Smash” by some expats. When you take advantage of a situation, most Japanese citizens can’t because you know you won’t get in trouble. The word “gaijin” is slang for foreigners. This fact makes overseas travelers say and do things they never would at home, somewhat like foreigner privilege. 

There’s no way I would have tried something like this in America. I felt a bit guilty for flexing my foreign powers, but we were able to enjoy the rest of the day without lugging our suitcase around. When I came to pick my bag up, they happily returned it free of charge with no questions asked. 

The fact that this is possible changes you. You rationalize and try to make it okay by thinking of all your frustrations with living in the country. Reviewing in your head the times you didn’t fit in, made mistakes, and embarrassed yourself. The studying like crazy to learn the language and never speaking quite fluently enough. “I deserve some breaks every now and then.” you think. 

Living in Japan is hard. Making a life for yourself is challenging anywhere, let alone in a foreign country. 

The expat exceptionalism can consume you. Unless you paid attention to how you’ve changed and decided what stays and what goes, it could turn you into a monster. Recognizing the privilege that comes with being different in Japan means thinking deeply about your actions and who you are. 

I don’t think I did as much of that before Japan.  

Allowing people who are different from us to open our minds. 

Learning to live in another culture can help you appreciate differences and see people for who they are as humans. Because of this, you’re forced to look in the mirror at yourself and your beliefs. In fact, that can be the most challenging part of travel. 

My coworker may feel like living abroad could never change him, but it’s inevitable. You will change. 

If you live in Europe, maybe not as much. Surely, you will need to adjust to different cultural expectations there, too, and different attitudes towards world politics, religion, and relationships. You will still grow and change.   

If we can see that as a good side effect to travel and accept rather than reject how we’ve adapted to new environments, our tolerance for differences will grow. I hope more people will spend time in other countries and take on the personal growth involved in living abroad. 

You can read Khalid Birdsong’s comic strip inspired by his experiences living in Japan at www.friedchickenandsushi.com 

Use This Mindset Shift to Consume Less and Create More

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Complaining about not getting enough done was a constant issue for me. The funny thing was, I was complaining while watching TV shows or scrolling through my phone.

With so much content to read and watch, it was difficult to say no. I made it a habit to complain about distractions in the world getting in the way of my productivity until I realized it’s my choice to turn off screens and decide how much time I spend on them.

Most importantly, I have the power to change my mindset. I am in control.

It’s perfectly acceptable not to keep up with all the new shows and latest controversial articles or news on social media. I made a conscious effort to limit how much I consume to have more time to create, and it was life-changing.

Maybe you think this is too hard for you. I think, once you realize how gratifying it is to get more of your creative work done, you will forget about most of those binge-worthy shows.

Let’s be clear, though, I was not addicted to TV or social media, but when I noticed I was spending two to three hours a day watching something, anything, just to have it on, I had to make a change.

Drastically limiting screen time

During weekdays, I cut out TV shows and pair down cell phone checking to spend more time reading. Books on writing, philosophy, business, comic books, and graphic novels are my favorites — a mix of entertainment and education.

My goal is to keep phone checking time to under an hour. I need to go in and promote my work on social media, but I only scroll for a few minutes and behave like the longer I stay there, the hotter it gets. I gotta get off before I get burned!

If I watch anything during the week, it’s a YouTube video or interview with someone giving advice on how they succeeded. Something I can listen to while drawing my comic strips or writing articles.

I take in content that will educate and inspire me to make more and stay motivated. The course I’m taking by Ayodeji Awosika on writing for Medium is perfect for listening to while creating.

There are lessons I view multiple times, so the information sticks. I believe taking in content that feeds your heart and mind is the best use of weekday time.

On the weekends, I’ll watch TV shows, but I limit them to series that are my favorites. Ones I can’t wait to see.

I no longer turn the TV on and leave it on to have something in the background to half-watch. Everything I consume is intentional. Two hours at the most. When the shows I wanted to see are done, I turn the boob tube off, back to the quiet.

I have more time to think, and calm helps improve my mood and outlook on life.

I feel happier

Making the decision to consume less TV and social media has brought more joy into my life. Without constantly “watching,” I’m spending more time “being” and paying attention to what I truly value in life: my family, writing, drawing, and good food.

The extra hours are now for writing articles or drawing new comic pages to learn and grow as an artist. I replaced screens with creative time.

I know that TV programs are fun to watch and can bring joy, but too much ends up making me feel jealous or depressed about not having enough money or material possessions in my own life. Cutting back on watching content needlessly gives me more peace. I don’t miss it.

All it took was making a decision to take in less and create more

The fact that you’re reading this is a testament to that choice. No more talking about getting creative work done. Now, I’m doing it consistently and reaping the benefits.

Spending more time creating work I love brings joy and a sense of fulfillment no screen can provide.

The “New Normal” Mindset: 3 Hard Truths About Post Pandemic Life

Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

I just got my first dose of the vaccine, the Moderna one, the other day and immediately felt relieved. “I’m safe.” I thought.

A few minutes later, I was back to fearing for my life.

Thankfully, I had no serious side effects, but a small amount of pain in my arm and feeling tired and low energy the next day. It’s all good now, though.

As a teacher, I should feel better, more positive at this point, right? I’m one of the ones getting vaccinated. There’s nothing else to worry about. I wish that were true.

I’m filled with concerns about going back into the classroom and getting exposed to COVID-19.

I’m lucky to have the opportunity to receive the vaccine. However, the risks and reasons for getting jabbed are still frightening. My work will require me to come back on campus in the next few weeks with other teachers and students who could be spreading the virus.

The reality of it all is frightening, but it’s something I realized we all need to be aware of and build up our mental and emotional strength to face. Living in our modern world means taking more risks with our lives than before.

The hard truths below may be uncomfortable to hear. They were for a person who’s mainly positive like me. After living in countries like Germany and Japan, I can take more of an “American looking from the outside in” approach to getting back to normal life. I want to help put your mind in a solid place where you’re looking at reality and facing it head-on.

Variants of the virus can kill us

Realizing this fact is like the “New Normal Mindset,” in my opinion. Accepting that you can’t hide from the virus. Even when deaths slow down, the virus itself will most likely continue to spread. You will need to go out in the world and face it. We will all live with the risk of getting sick, even when life looks normal again.

If variants of the virus keep popping up and most likely continue spreading in the states, even if you’re vaccinated, who knows how effective that will be on keeping you healthy if you get infected.

What bothers me the most is that as a teacher, I have to go back to work at some point soon, teaching remotely isn’t effective for most students, so if I want to support my family and eat, I have no choice but to take a risk on my life and health.

Going back will be after taking both vaccines in my case. Still, I’ve accepted the possibilities of getting seriously sick — and I ain’t no spring chicken. I’m 45 years old, so I’ve lived some life, and if you’re in my age group, you also need to be more concerned than someone in their 20's.

Americans need to get comfortable with wearing masks

I love America, but the freedom argument in this country has gone way too far. It’s only putting a mask over your face, not gagging your free speech. I know we don’t like someone telling us what to do, but let’s clarify that caring for others means putting the group’s needs first before the individual. The idea of risking your “freedom” by wearing a mask seems insane to me, but it’s what we need to do.

Wearing masks is something we’re all going to have to get used to over the next couple of years if we want to survive. Let’s hope new mask technology will be released to make this choice easier for those who can’t wear one for health reasons or refuse to wear one as their personal choice. Masks that are clear glass but do not fog up when you speak, for example, or some kind of clear mesh that fits comfortably, but you can see a person’s mouth move.

Like Japan, citizens of countries in Asia are comfortable wearing masks when they’re sick and need to ride on the train together or while working in the office. It’s seen as a sign of respect for others around you. When I was there, I appreciated that someone was making sure not to spread their germs to others.

You would think that over half a million deaths in America would wake people up to what’s important. Saving lives, not complaining about putting on a mask, something that benefits us all in the long run.

You are not the exception

One of the main reasons the virus spread so fast in the U.S. is that people didn’t believe they would get infected. Why? Because of exceptionalism. We think we’re special, untouchable even.

exceptionalism ĭk-sĕp′shə-nə-lĭz″əm

• n. The condition of being exceptional or unique.

• n. The theory or belief that something, especially a nation, does not conform to a pattern or norm.

• n. The state of being special, exceptional, or unique

Let’s stop exceptionalism thinking and start paying attention to reality. America is a phenomenal country, but it can get hit hard by a virus, terrorism, and, yes, even racist attacks on its own citizens. We are not above it all or so “woke” to not have dark and terrible events occur in our own backyards.

Feeling like a unique and special person is good for self-confidence, and we should make sure that also comes with a healthy dose of humility.

Adopt the new normal mindset and grow stronger

When you look at the world as it is and understand that there are some things you can’t change but must accept to stay alive and thrive, you’re in good shape. This crazy and scary reality may be one we have to navigate, but it’s how you think about it that will make the difference. I also dream of the days we can all meet again without social distancing and can hug our loved ones.

Even when that day comes, we will still be taking risks with catching the virus. Each new day is a chance to also practice a new normal mindset — it’s time we live with the truth and keep moving forward.

Overwhelmed Dad Prays for One Minute Alone

Photo by Jaclyn Moy on Unsplash

Dear God,

I know the world is going through a tough time right now, with the pandemic and everything, but I’m desperate for more time alone. Not alone forever, I enjoy being with my wife and two out-of-control kids, some of the time. Maybe an hour a day would be helpful? A few hours or even one week would be ideal. Magical even. I may be losing my mind, so a little solitude would help get me back on track. 

There’s just no time to breathe or even think. To find time to get on my knees and talk to you means I’m on the floor in the bathroom right now, after crying in the shower. You see, I’m what they call an introvert. Too much social time with others drains me. I need time alone to recharge. Now that I can’t escape to the office and my wife never goes anywhere anymore, I’m drowning in needy family members and bickering children. When do I get a break?

That’s where you come in, God. I could use a miracle—the parting of the red sea kind. It’s been a hectic year of forced homeschooling for my two elementary school-aged kids. They could care less about distance learning or Zoom classes. They just want to watch YouTube, play video games, and eat candy. I don’t blame them. The schools expect my little children to get work done and make my wife and me, both working from home, keep them on task. Do you think they’re getting work done?

Hell, no! 

Sorry, Lord. I meant, heck no. When I try to get them to complete their assignments, they run away from me screaming. All while I’m on a meeting with a stakeholder and making PB&J sandwiches so they won’t be “hangry.” 

I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t even breathe well at night. When I try to sleep, I’m hyperventilating and doing my best to calm down—thinking about relaxing on some beach somewhere alone. 

Alone. It sounds like such a romantic word now. No one asking me for anything or talking non-stop about some ridiculous animated TV show. Just peace and quiet. Doing what I want when I want. Not for forever, for just a little while. A few weeks, maybe?

My wife keeps telling me we can’t afford for one of us to quit our jobs and take care of everything at home, but I wonder. Is my sanity worth the salary I make? We have other friends whose wives have quit and have become at-home co-teachers for their children. Everything looks more manageable for them. It probably isn’t. 

I don’t know of any Dads doing it. Should I be the first? Of course, that won’t get me the solitude I’m craving. I’ll have to take care of my kid’s schooling every minute of the day. I’m having trouble breathing just thinking about it. 

What’s that you say? Take a sabbatical, God? Is that the answer? A few months off from work. I would need to go somewhere else for it to be effective, though. Rent an AirBnB and live alone for six months. Just reading, catching up on all the shows I’ve missed, and taking time to meditate. Paradise! 

No, you’re right. That’s selfish. Don’t I deserve a whole year to myself? I would miss my family, but eventually, isn’t it ok if they know I’m coming back? I could visit them on the weekends. Wait, this sounds like a trial separation. No, thanks. 

I’d better stick it out. It’s better to be a man and endure even if it costs me my sanity. 

Thanks for listening, Lord. I know you’ve given me the strength to withstand anything. Even drowning in responsibilities with no acceptable way out. I can do this. Who cares that I’m hearing voices in my head and feeling dizzy from vertigo every evening.   

This will all be over soon, right?

Right?

Don’t Ever Interrupt Dad’s Morning Routine- Here’s why

Photo by Maria Lysenko on Unsplash

As told by his twelve-year-old daughter.

I don’t know about you guys, but my Dad wakes up crazy early in the morning. Like, why does he do this? It’s 4:30 am, and he’s up meditating, making coffee, and writing. Every day. 

Boring! 

Yesterday, I thought it might be fun to see what all the fuss was about. Just for the heck of it, you know? Maybe it’s fun getting up early and doing responsible stuff. I also thought it might drive him a bit crazy, so I had to try it. 

Dad’s always blabbing on and on about how good it feels to get things done first thing. So, I set my alarm for 4:15, to get up just before him, and pulled myself out of bed. 

It sucked! 

I was dizzy and could barely walk. What’s fun about this? Anyway, I was determined to surprise Dad, so I pushed through, washed my face, and stumbled into the living room, ready to look responsible. Dad must have seen the lights on and stomped out of his bedroom in shock. 

“What are you doing up? It’s 4:30 in the morning. Go back to bed!” he shouted. Where’s the love, Pops? Not even a friendly, “Good morning” first? It’s like he wants to be alone and doesn’t even want to see me. 

How rude.

Well, I was certainly the better person as I kindly replied, “I wanted to try getting up early and see how it feels to have a head start on my day. Just like you recommended.” I made sure to give him a warm smile as I looked back down at the history book I was reading.

Dad paused for a moment, looking off in another direction, and then back at me with that crazy-eyed look he gets when he’s pissed and said, “Ok, then. Since you’re up, I have a few things for you to do.

“No way, Dad, I got up early to study!” I yelled at him. Dad said, “Nope, you’re twelve and live in my house. You don’t get to rise early and do what you want. Not until you help out around here.”

Uh-oh. I thought to myself. 

Dad forced me to do chores and stuff. OMG! Can you believe it? It’s like he wanted me to learn a lesson or something. You guys will not believe what he made me do. This article is meant as a cautionary tale for all you readers out there.

This is what your Dad may make you do if you interrupt his early morning routine:

1. Make you clean up your room and make your bed. Then, dust everywhere and use Windex to clean your windows and mirror. Twice.

2. Make you learn how to make coffee for him so the next time you get up first, he can drink it. He will not let you drink any of the coffee.

3. Make you finish any homework you have but will not help answer any difficult questions.

4. You will have to hear him repeat, “You want to be a part of my morning routine? Then you’ll need to do some of my routines.” over and over again.

5. So, that means he’ll make you meditate with him for thirty minutes. Thirty minutes, people! It’s like so long and boring!

6. Make you do twenty push-ups and then some weird yoga poses like that down-facing doggy one.  

7. Make you read from a book on some philosophy called Stoicism where dudes thousands of years ago tell you how to not sweat the small stuff. Actually, this part wasn’t half bad. 

There you go. That’s how it all went down yesterday morning with Dad. It was fun to see the shock on his face when he saw I was up earlier than him. I don’t think it was worth all the crap I had to do, though. He wouldn’t let me watch TV after all that or even get online.

If I were you, I would steer clear. Just wake up at your normal time and leave Dad alone. This morning, I slept as late as I could. I’ll leave all that early riser mess for when I’m a grown-up.

You should too.

Take a Break From America

As soon as you can.

Taking a break from the U.S. is not an option right now due to COVID-19, but I wish I could travel overseas. No country wants us to visit or move there during this pandemic, and I understand why. We look like crazy people.

The freedom we think we have gives us the confidence we feel we need to only care about ourselves — like it’s the natural way of things. Friends of mine in other countries are scared of Americans. The ridiculous mess we’ve made over here in regards to racism and the pandemic looks insane.

How we treat anyone who’s slightly different–yelling at an Asian person wearing a mask because you think they have COVID and then going out for FroYo without wearing a mask yourself because you feel it takes away your freedom.

I remember enjoying my break from America while living in Osaka, Japan, and teaching English. It’s certainly not an easy country to live in as a foreigner, but at least I didn’t fear for my life. You’d be amazed at how your country looks from the outside looking in. Yes, you miss some of what you love, but racism in America sticks out like a hamburger at a sushi restaurant. Be careful; you think it might taste good, but you know it’s wrong and shouldn’t be there.

I hear people saying things like leaving America shows weakness, and you should stay and make it work. Isn’t that like staying in an abusive relationship with someone because you think you can help them change? If you have a way out that can work for you and your family, take it.

Black people should do everything they can to experience living in another country, preferably one where people of color are in the majority. Move to Asia, Africa, or South America. Get a sense of what it’s like outside of white American ideals and perceptions.

Where will you travel when everything opens up again? Start planning, saving, researching now. I know it may seem impossible or out of reach, but it’s not. Take the first step by deciding you are a person who can travel and make a change.

Do it. Go on an adventure that changes your life and opens your mind. Then never look back.

Is Talking Openly About the Black Experience Risky?

I was afraid to post this comic strip, but I knew it had to be said. America is a dangerous and downright scary place for Black people. Even though no area you live in is perfect, there are some countries and even cities where you can feel more like yourself.

I found Osaka, Japan, to be one of those places for me. If you travel enough, you’ll find yours. Is it acceptable, however, for me to talk about racism in a cute family comic strip intended to make you laugh?

I lived in Japan for two years teaching English, but now I live in the U.S. and visit Japan every year. Making a point to soak up the peace and experience the culture. Don’t get me wrong, there are aspects I love about my home country.

Let’s be real, though, it’s tough on black folks in the states. The fear of racism and police brutality makes everyday life feel scary when you’re doing just about anything.

I think it’s important to address racism and perception in comic form and get people thinking. Even if the humor just makes you uncomfortable. As a Black man, my work wouldn’t feel authentic without it. The character, J, in this strip, is communicating how I feel while living in or visiting Japan as a Black man.

Free to be me.

Even though it’s told from a child’s point of view in this strip, the sentiment comes from my raw emotions and frustrations. But I was nervous about posting it and almost didn’t. You want to know why?

I was concerned about hurting white people’s feelings.

The comics and articles I create are not made to upset anyone but give my perspective, as a Black man, on the world and how I see things. In the past, after posting a series of lighthearted comics and then suddenly putting a strip out stating America isn’t a perfect union, mainly white people get upset.

It’s like they can’t handle the truth. Could it be certain white folks think I don’t have a right to express my frustrations and concerns over how people of color are treated in America? Like I can’t talk about my people and our struggles through an art form I love. Maybe, I should just stick to the silly jokes.

I know, free speech works both ways. If I can say what I feel in my work, people should have the freedom to comment on it. Yes, but when you do, please pay attention to your privilege.

Are you trying to tell me I’m wrong for how I feel? If you think my comics are now “complete garbage” from one comic strip and you can’t read them anymore. Why? Are there deeply held beliefs that need changing, lurking deep inside you? When you read through my archives, plenty of previous Fried Chicken and Sushi comics tackled racism and prejudice concerning people who are different.

White people get to choose what they believe about racism even though they haven’t experienced it directly. Being a part of the majority, they get to say ridiculous things in the comments of my comics. Like, “This is racist.” or an insult dressed up as a compliment, “I don’t see color” (please see my color, I happen to love it) or “Racism doesn’t exist in America anymore.” Does anyone really believe that?

Black people have to live with and take the blows associated with racism daily. Just because you aren’t seeing racist acts in your neighborhood or workplace, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

I like showing that we all have other choices of places to live in the world. The truth is, it ain’t easy traveling abroad either. Finding work that pays enough to live on, and securing a way to stay there for many years — like getting your visa sponsored by an employer or becoming a permanent resident. But it is possible if you want it bad enough.

Notably, in Asia. You will deal with prejudice and ignorance about your race, especially if you’re Black. Still, the lack of fear and hate over your skin color brought on by systemic racism makes up for it.

The freedom that comes from living in a country like Japan — not built on the backs of free labor from African slaves — feels exhilarating. People see you as a person, a very different person than them for sure, but not someone to fear as a threat to their livelihood.

I know all of this and feel strongly about the benefits of living in Asia. I’m choosing, however, to work in the U.S. right now. I find it easier to get work that pays well, and I like engaging with a diverse group of people. When I need a break, the money I put away for travel helps me escape to Japan, the Philippines, or Hong Kong to get a different experience.

Where I can be just a foreigner.

Returning to my home country from trips abroad can be a tough re-entry. I get hit with the reality that most American citizens still do not fully see or understand. You hear the words “Black Lives Matter” but Black people are still treated poorly. This “BLM” phrase doesn’t mean all other lives have it easy. It means Black lives, particularly in America, need to matter now more than ever. Our house is the one on fire in the neighborhood. It’s the one that needs the most attention right now. Let the fire department put out the flames. Should they spray all the other homes on the street with water, just to be fair?

I think things are getting better. The above FC&S comic received mostly supportive comments and started conversations on GoComics around the benefits of travel and having an open mind.

It was a risk I was glad I took. Please become comfortable listening to what Black people are saying about their experiences, hopes, and challenges when expressed through their writing and creative work.

Give us a chance to matter.

Listen to my interview on the "Blockhead" podcast- With Ray Billingsley of the "Curtis" comic strip

You can hear my interview on Episode 44 right here.

I’m still in shock over appearing on my favorite podcast, “Blockhead,” hosted by Geoff Grogan. I was asked to discuss race relations and police brutality with my cartooning hero, Ray Billingsley, creator of the phenomenal syndicated comic strip “Curtis.” I’ve communicated with Ray over the years in letters and messages over Facebook but never talked with him in person. This interview was a dream come true!

We had a fantastic time together talking about our experiences as Black cartoonists, our run-ins with the cops, and what it’s like creating comics during these challenging times. Geoff spoke with us for over two hours and kept all the “good stuff” in the episode.

You can listen to Episode 44 directly on his webpage here:

https://geoffgrogan.com/blockhead/

If you have Apple Podcasts you can listen here:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ray-billingsley-and-khalid-birdsong/id1440223132?i=1000477950131

Why Quarantine School Ain't Easy

Imagine being a middle school student during this pandemic. You can’t spend time with your friends in person or develop much of a bond with your teachers at school. It would be tough to stay away from all the screens and devices sitting right next to you and focus on schoolwork.

I would suck at it. With ADHD and an overactive imagination, my mind would be in another world, drawing fantasy comics, or sucked into video games to escape reality. Getting work done would be the last thing on my mind.

I admire the young people today and how they are navigating quarantine life. Even if they’re not getting anything productive done. They’re getting up in the morning and giving it their best each day. That’s a victory. For some kids, your best is just talking to friends over Zoom or reading a favorite book for the eleventh time.

Doing the things that bring you comfort and joy is vital in times like these.

Parents are going to push and pull kids to do their work to stay ahead, but some might let it all go and give total freedom. Let’s relax and give each family a choice to deal with this COVID-19 pandemic however they can.

We need to deal with this situation in our own ways. When it’s time to open the gates once again, all of us will be catching up on our new reality.

A reality we cannot accurately predict at this moment. Relax and take it one day at a time.   

To Create, or Not to Create, While in Quarantine

That is the questions. Here’s the answer.

Illustration by Khalid Birdsong

Waking up at the crack of dawn to draw and write is no easy task, but I’ve grown accustomed to it. Today, on the other hand, I couldn’t help but feel the pull of the bed calling me back.

This is normal in regular times but much more powerful recently. Is it smarter to push through and get work done during these stressful times or give your body the extra rest it needs?

I chose to stay up and fumbled around, getting my coffee made. Doing marketing tasks like scheduling future social media posts, and writing possible gags for new comic strips — nothing all that heavy. When I start this way, it usually leads to turning my engine on and getting deeper into a creative drive. Where I’m eventually motivated to make more focused work like drawing or writing articles.

Perhaps you’re like me. Sandwiched between your desire to rest more and the awareness of all you could achieve during this forced-flexible time at home due to quarantine.

The two opposing questions floating around in my head always — Why not use this time to get more done? On the other hand — Why should I force myself to do anything during such a major pandemic?

The world needs your art during this time. Your perspective, voice, and experiences can help others. It’s incredibly important for you to find a way to put your work out there.

Here’s what I think is going on and what I discovered we can do to move forward towards our artistic goals.

Stop feeling guilty

Reading articles about famous people in the past, like Isaac Newton, who discovered the theory of relativity during a quarantine. Or, was that Einstein? Didn’t Shakespeare write a famous play while sheltering at home? I bet someone wrote a brilliant piece of classical music while forced to hide away from a plague. Something like that. I think all the motivational articles are getting jumbled up in my head.

The point is, they make you feel like this time of quarantine is not for letting it all go and slowing down, but for working harder. For creating something brand new and absolutely fantastic.

You start feeling concerned about yourself and, yes, guilty. Why can’t I make something earth-changing during this time? There are more opportunities to focus on smaller projects. Isn’t this what people will expect of a creative person?

There’s only one truth to accept.

Creatives get overwhelmed, frightened, and exhausted by world events, just like “normal” humans. We’re not above or beyond it only because we can escape to other places in our minds.

There are times when we make stuff with ease and times when we need to just sit and stare out into space to process it all. With nothing but a clean slate of negative thoughts in our heads and swirling mixed emotions in our hearts.

I want to have the freedom to work when my creative energy is turned on, but I’m afraid that if I get out of a routine, I’ll just stop and not make anything anymore. My momentum will hit a wall and seep into the gutter.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I recognize this is what’s going on, I change how much I expect to get done. If you’re feeling this same guilt and overwhelm, schedule time to work but limit it. Instead of an hour, work for thirty-minutes.

There’s nothing wrong with cutting back.

Go ahead and be exhausted

Taking life a day at a time is something I need to improve on. I’ve seen more than ever how good days can be full of powerful, productive energy, and others are a slow drag to even begin.

This past weekend I was completely out of it. I felt like strings were attached to my limbs, and someone was pulling down on them, making it hard for me to move. Heavy body and mind issues plus plenty of chores to take care of around the house, forced me to make an important decision.

I needed to “do” less and let some things go. I’m just too tired.

Feeling exhausted right now is ok. It’s more than ok. You should expect it and give yourself some time off.

The only way to have productive days right now is to give yourself “processing time” to recharge on those tired, emotionally exhausting days.

Give yourself time to ease in

The struggle to produce content just happened to me today. This morning, in fact. What you’re reading is a result of gradually working my way to writing this article.

If you know that starting off not wanting to work but doing small things to help you transform into a “focused flow state productive mind,” is possible, you can have more confidence in the process.

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Celebrate your wins

You should definitely create your writing, art, and music while in quarantine. Take a hybrid approach by dedicating yourself to both your mental health through regular periods of rest and your need to create with longer than typical stretches of scheduled work times. This way, you know you have the time to gradually get into the groove.

“Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.” ~Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Even if it seems like you only completed a few tasks, celebrate them. I had to tell myself, “Good Job!” today for getting something done, even though I was totally not in the mood at first. We could always do more.

Make good friends with patience and invite understanding into the mix. I know you will keep the creative momentum going and succeed in artistically expressing yourself.

Even while trapped inside this box, we call quarantine.