Making babies isn’t easy when you have out-of-date thinking.

Japan’s population needs to grow faster, or it will cease to exist.

At least, this is what billionaire Elon Musk believes. Japanese people need to start making more babies for the country to survive. I agree, but I think it’s more complicated.

Living in Japan for several years as an English teacher taught me a lot about the culture. Being married to a Japanese woman and then visiting from America regularly over the past twenty years gives me an inside and an out-of-the-box view of the issues.

Even with this knowledge, I was surprised by Elon’s tweet.

According to this article, he comments on; the birth rate has been a problem for many years now. I remember the Japanese government even pays people a thousand dollars, maybe more, to have a baby in the city of Osaka.

I’m not sure they can pull themselves out of this any time soon, but I don’t think Japan will “Cease to exist” in the way Elon thinks. But they need to change their views on what it means to be Japanese and adapt to the modern world.

Marriage and parenting in Japan is a trap

Young people run away from marriage in Japan like crazy because you have to give up so much of your freedom. How is this different from everywhere in the world?

Most likely, old-world thinking and rigid gender roles.

In Japan, you live in prescribed roles to fit into society, and you’re expected to follow the rules of those roles.

It’s like 1950s America on steroids.

If you’re a husband working in a company as a salaryman, you must give all your life to your job and do everything your boss tells you, even if that involves going out for drinks until 11 pm after work each night. There’s a good chance you won’t have time for your wife or kids, and no one cares if you’re unhappy with that reality.

Overwork and sacrificing your health are how you show respect to Japan and its culture. This is why business people randomly sleeping on trains or park benches are seen as hard workers and well respected.

If you’re a woman, you’re expected to quit your job when you have children. At least you can keep your job after marriage now. A Japanese teacher I worked with while living there in her fifties said years ago that she quit her job to be a full-time housewife when she first got married. It was incredibly dull, and her husband worked all the time. She was lonely every day, wondering why she got married in the first place.

Raising kids is traditionally supposed to be for mothers without full-time jobs. If you work as a mother, it’s incredibly unfair because you’re expected to take care of all the household responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, even managing the finances, around your job, and taking care of the kids. The husband is expected just to work and be taken care of by his wife.

This is acceptable—not liked by most—but a part of Japanese culture. It’s no surprise that people there are against marriage and having children.

Japan needs more foreigners

When they’re open to more people from many other countries coming in and having a fair chance to live and succeed in Japan, their population will grow. Not just by the influx of new immigrants, but with them marrying Japanese people and, in turn, having more children.

Closing itself off to the world has always been a part of Japanese history. Seeing themselves as unique and unlike any other country has caused too many issues to discuss here.

When you live in Japan as a non-Japanese person, you are consistently treated like and looked at as an outsider. You can’t come there, live for twenty years there, and be accepted as an equal citizen.

You’re always seen as a foreigner.

After two years of living in Osaka, I was fed up with working my butt off learning the language and cultural rules, only to realize because I’m a Black man, I will never be seen as Japanese.

If someone moves to the U.S., they may deal with discrimination for being from another country, but they can become “American over time.” Not so in Japan.

What makes a Japanese person as far as physical looks need to get upgraded. In America, we know Americans can look like many races, and Japan can grow in this area if they make it easier for non-Japanese people to get a visa and live, work, and start businesses.

Of course, this means that Japanese people will look more mixed-race as more foreigners mix with the population over the next ten to twenty years, but if this helps the country open its minds and grow, it might survive.

News outlets in Asia have been talking about this for what feels like forever. I’m no immigration expert, but I’ve lived abroad enough to know opening up your borders can positively affect countries.

I love Japan, but Japanese people have to gradually embrace that their society and ideals need to change to make it in the end. Being incredibly shy and insular is hurting the country.

Let’s hope that if more prominent voices like Elon Musk point out the challenges Japan faces, Japanese citizens can change their views so future generations will flourish.

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