How the words of Viktor Frankl can help you find meaning

The other day, I talked with a coworker who told me one of her friends died from the coronavirus. This friend was in good health, got exposed to someone with COVID-19, and two weeks later, was hospitalized and passed away.

Just like that. Gone.

It all hit me like a ton of bricks. The concern for my coworker and grief for the friend who passed was intense. It all felt like a horror movie.

Is this what I should expect to endure for the foreseeable future? What if my friends and family get the virus in the same way?

Growing accustomed to losing people I care about. Living with the anxiety of potentially having to say goodbye to the people closest to me? Will I live in fear and dread every day waiting for the next heartbreaking news?

We are facing scary times right now with so much out of our control. Hard times are here, and the truth is, people we know may pass, lose their jobs and their hopes for the future, but it doesn’t need to drive you completely mad.

I’ll admit, it was starting to get to me, for sure. I didn’t know what to do or how to think.

One thing I discovered I can control, though.

My thinking.

Perhaps you’ve read this quote…

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, survived the Holocaust during World War II and told the story in his famous book “Mans Search for Meaning.” He believed finding personal meaning in that experience gave him the will to live.

Frankl believed that all of us could not only survive but thrive if we find our sense of purpose and meaning in life.

We may not be in the middle of a war, locked in a concentration camp, but many of us are quarantined or forced to shelter-in-place to stop the spread of the virus. Wondering daily how we will be able to do things like pay our bills and buy enough toilet paper.

You and I could definitely use some meaning right now. Here are five thoughts based around quotes from Viktor Frankl that help me face each day with more certainty.

1. Face reality and take responsibility

“Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.”

― Victor Frankl

The fact that COVID-19 is spreading across the world is real and cannot be ignored. But we can — and must — toughen up to deal with what’s to come.

The government is trying to keep us calm by stating this will all end on a specific date. Our kids will go back to school, we can return to work, and see our friends again. I have no doubt all of it will come true at some point.

Most likely, though, dealing with COVID-19 will continue to be a part of our lives for a very long time. Like the flu. It could become a seasonal virus where you get a shot or stay home when it hits your office.

Perhaps not. No matter what this becomes, accept that it is real, and you must do everything within your power to stay healthy, and take care of your family.

Decide that you will not only survive but thrive.

You choose how to face each day and what to think about your situation. No one can decide that but you. Speak to yourself and your family with positive words. Take time to practice your hobbies or learn new ones.

Choose to make the time you have here joyful.

Be the hero in your story.

2. Feel the fear

“An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”

― Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Part of getting real is knowing that you will have bad days. If you are aware that it’s reasonable to experience extreme emotions during stressful times like this, you can allow for the negativity and fear to come and go.

You will be fine. It might feel like your whole body will crumble into little pieces, but it will hold together.

Let your feelings have time in the foreground of your mind, but know that they are not evidence of who you really are. They just need to be felt and heard.

Take the anger, sadness, and fear inside and amplify it as intensely as possible. Be mindful, or meditate and let your emotions move through your body and be aware of them. You’re strong enough to hold these feelings until they pass.

And they will.

3. Give what you can

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any ‘how.’”

― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

This is the time to be available for your family. Make caring for them a reason to get up in the morning. Whether you’re cooking meals and singing songs with your spouse and children or you live alone and can make time to call your family members to check on them, show your love and care.

I say give what you can because there will be times when you won’t feel up to providing words of encouragement or having fun. If you know that your ‘why’ is to be emotionally available to your family and friends. On the good days, you will have a purpose to help uplift others and, in turn, make you smile.

4. Grieve then move forward

“But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.”

― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

It takes strength to grieve for people you’ve lost — it ain’t easy. If you have someone you care about who passes away from COVID-19, I feel like you honor them by taking time to experience the pain. Shedding tears for them does not mean you’re weak. It means you cared for them deeply.

I have lost people I love unexpectedly in the past. Not from this virus, but still a shock that was hard on every part of me.

One thing that helped was deciding to grieve daily and knowing that the pain would ease as time went by. Until the person was in a special place in my heart.

I took comfort in knowing they would want me to move forward and continue living my life.

Love them, miss them, and let them go, but never forget them.

5. Thrive in this new world

“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

Nobody knows how the world will change from the coronavirus.

Make a choice to keep an open mind. Grow with the change.

If you take full responsibility for your life, keep a positive attitude of hope and gratitude, anything is possible.

Viktor Frankl found the will to live by looking for meaning in the struggle during the most challenging of situations. Look at your life and decide every day why it’s worth living and what you’re living for.

It’s your choice.