Going with or against the crowd should be up to you.

Last week, I took my twelve-year-old daughter to her first big-time concert.

For their Never Ending Summer Tour, we saw the uber-popular group OneRepublic at an outdoor venue—much safer being amongst the fresh air during covid times.

With hits like “Stop and Stare,” “Counting Stars,” and their latest “I Ain’t Worried (from Top Gun: Maverick),” we had a phenomenal time. They put on a good show.

I didn’t know that the lead singer, Ryan Tedder, writes songs and has written hits for all kinds of artists. The group spent twenty glorious minutes playing short versions of some of the songs he wrote. Like “Halo” by Beyonce, “Love Somebody” by Maroon 5, and “Rumour Has It” by Adele.

Spending the concert in a section far away, I watched most of it on the jumbotron screens where they did a good job filming all the action on stage. They also turned to the audience on occasion.

Cameras zoomed in to a part of the crowd cheering and dancing, and everyone was ecstatic except for one guy in the middle standing there stone-faced.

No emotion, no excitement.

Perhaps he was tired or didn’t want to be there. His partner or friend could have forced him to go when he’s not even a fan—come on, we’ve all been there.

Or, that’s the way he has fun. This guy doesn’t need to smile, dance, or scream at fun events like an awesome concert by one of the biggest bands in the world.

No. He’s fine, just standing there stoically, spacing out.

Could it be we all experience fun and excitement differently? His insides might have been poppin’ with joy and grooving to the beat. He doesn’t need to move. Staying completely still may be how he feels more enjoyment. Is that so wrong?

I wish I could be as comfortable as he is showing and being whatever he’s feeling at the time. It shouldn’t matter what people think.

Being a people pleaser

I enjoy making other people happy. Heck, that’s one reason why I’m an art teacher. The joy on a kid’s face when they discover how a new painting technique can make their art look more real is fantastic.

Helping others succeed is joyful to me—another reason I love writing this newsletter and sharing what I’ve learned from living a creative life.

I’m a people pleaser.

Everyone isn’t. My daughter likes doing the right thing but isn’t concerned with people pleasing. She won’t pretend to be excited about something just to make another person feel better. I was concerned for her, but now I see that she doesn’t need to be like me.

Making sure she’s kind and polite is definitely part of my job, but overall, I should let her do what feels right.

Maybe growing up with divorced parents or being the oldest child shaped me into this person, but it’s hard to deny. I’m happy being a people pleaser and teaching others to create and hopefully smile.

At the concert, everyone stood up when OneRepublic first came out and never sat back down. After a summer off, this concert was in the middle of my first week back at work. I was tired.

You better believe I sat down on the grass and stayed there for the entire time. I danced while sitting and had an amazing time.

I didn’t feel like people pleasing by standing up so that the friends who came with us or the other fans surrounding us would be happy. I wanted to listen, enjoy, and rest.

My daughter stayed standing and enjoyed every minute. Good for her.

Choose to be who you are wherever you can

Your job may make you dress a certain way or wear a uniform while at work. There are written and unwritten rules of society we have to follow.

On those rare occasions where you can decide how you will show up, make it a way that feels authentic.

I’m not an expert at noticing these times yet, but I’m improving. At least, now, when I’m invited to party or get together, or even when I’m getting up in front of my students in an art class, I realize it’s my choice how I present myself.

Normally, I choose the fun-loving playful artist persona, but if I’m feeling down, it’s okay to show that too. There’s no need to fake it to make others happy at all times. I don’t have to be the person they expect every time. And that’s fine.

I just thought of something.

What if the guy who looked upset at the concert was that way because he just noticed the camera was on him and then froze? After it switched to somewhere else, he could have started dancing and jumping back to his usual fun-loving self.

He might hate when people put cameras in his face. Who really knows?

Either way, learn to do you.

Who cares what people think? Especially at a concert.

P.S. We just had a teacher work week before starting a new school year teaching middle school. During one of our faculty meetings, we all sat in a circle, sharing how we felt about getting back to work. Many people appreciated having such amazing coworkers, and others were impressed with how safe they felt to get back on campus during the pandemic that will never end. I shared feeling more at ease than I have in several years. Partly thanks to vaccines and having students back on campus instead of teaching on video via Zoom. Getting back to being in my art room and knowing how to teach within it, even if I’m wearing a mask, is something I did last year, so it’s familiar territory. I’m not as concerned with what will come, and confident I can make a creative and warm atmosphere for my students. I see now how life and work experience can help you feel at ease with being yourself.

Discover A New Creative Life right here.